Pretty & slim I know she was, looking back I now remember! But the mirror didn’t lie, why would it?
No longer able to cope with the disgust that stared back at her she began to run, though not physically but mentally she ran!
Food the root of all evil, yet her only control, it’s predicability she feed from, the shame she hid from!
Trapped in a maze, unable to escape the high walls that surround her, she’s falls at each hurdle.
Tomorrow would be better was something she often told herself! it was her mind, she had control of it, it didn’t control her…. Or so she thought.
Deep down did she understand the dangers as her hair fell all around her, her beautiful white teeth crumbled like chalk as her young innocent body cried out to be feed?
I think that yes she did but somehow it failed to stop her. To far she had come, to now let her efforts go to waste and fail again!
Fighting her own mind, her inner voice won every time. The defeat taken badly… The battle never ending, inside she was dying a little more everyday!
To stop would now be a danger, seriously, it meant the lose of control and for that she’d be punished the worse way how! Her family would suffer, quite possibly die around her, how selfish that would make her!
Counting and checking dominating her young life almost as much as food, combined this lead to a somewhat complex way of life. One consumed with shame all at her own blame!
Laid in a hospital bed the mid-days sun shone through the cracks of the curtain, slightly lightening a darken room. Closing her eyes she failed to escape the faces of shame, fuck, it had all gone so wrong… It wasn’t meant to be this way!
This post is 7/30 in the daily #HAWMC set by Wego Health. The freestyle challenge is to raise awareness of child mental health, eating disorders and OCD.