Do you see what I see?

I see a boy sat alone, yet smiling and playing

You see a loner, the strange kid, the odd one!

I see a boy frustrated, confused and distressed

You see a brat with no respect, no decent upbringing!

I see a boy stood talking, trying to make a connection, a possible friend. He gets it wrong because of something he said wasn’t seen as appropriate. His been left rejected and upset.

You see a trouble maker, a boy who is rude and makes it his mission to offend.

I see a boy walk into a busy playground, I then see parents like you shaking your heads as you rush to gather your kids. I now see a boy stood playing in a large empty space alone!

You see “That Kid” from before, the one who swore as he throw himself on the floor, shouting at children like yours for accidentally running into him, pushing him as they chased a ball.

I see a boy stood drawing a tear as he watches the school coach leaving!.

You see the boy who ruins it for others. you see it as a blessing that he isn’t attending the school trip. Beyond this you see nothing.

I see a gathering of mothers stood at the school gate laughing. I see the reaction they give as I’m passing… Silence whispers and staring.

You see that mother, the one who drags up her kids… Failing to install good values, respect and self discipline

I see a sweet boy who has the tendency to become easily distressed

You see a boy who throws a wobbler whenever he fails to get the things that he wants.

I see a boy excitedly speaking to others about his interest. He speaks quickly announcing all he knows on the subject. A boy who hasn’t yet released its his time to quit speaking .

You see a boy who dominates conversation, his rude letting no one get a word in edge ways. You see a bore, a child who is self obsessed and selfish… Spoilt and for that you blame me… The parent.

I see a boy who counts to ten before speaking a child who has learnt that this may stop him from potentially offending.

You see an odd boy, one who can only be described as slow and profoundly stupid.

I see a boy who cares about “The Rules” who therefore reminds his peers that those rules are not to be broken.

You see a boy who is bossy. A child who is likely raised by a control freak!

I see a boy who is actually very bright, he has qualities that others could only hope for. I see a boy who continuously tries to get it right. A boy who gets up every time his knocked down, never giving up, nor giving in. Yes he can be naughty his a boy after all. But should you gather your kids and run when you see him… No! why… what ever for?

You see nothing I see.. How could you ever see what I see if you refuse to look a little closer.

You can’t see autism, it doesn’t get stamped on the head of a baby at birth. But knowing just how autism can present is an education you need. With numbers rising there is a good chance the child who sits next to yours at school or even that work colleague you have drinks with on Friday is on the autism spectrum.

My child like many is capable of just as much as you or I. He is an individual, with interests, talents, weaknesses and at time difficulties… We all are as human beings.

Certain areas of his brain work somewhat differently making some areas of life more challenging… Social communication, sensory processing and black and white thinking are to name but a few! Yet that doesn’t mean he should be judged or discriminated against.

Its not the traits of autism that make my sons life more challenging but the way others perceive them traits. His happy with himself 98% of the time and just wants you to except him but more importantly… Understand him!

After all… Where does being “Average” get you?

So I ask you… One this day aimed at raising awareness for those with autism and Asperger’s syndrome. Do you see what I see?

Or Will you at least try to see it Now?

Are you Doing it for World Autism 2012

It’s here, World Autism Awareness Day and as promised today I’m doing it for autism by posting a picture while wearing something that resembles the autism awareness colours and holding up a card simply stating “Doing it for world autism” (yes, kids enjoyed creating the oversize mask).

This idea was one I put together quite late in the day but still remain hopeful that lots of you will take 5 minutes and snap and share a picture too? Bloggers can post them on their blogs to get the message out, as well as linking here, sharing on twitter using hash tag #worldautism12, share on the A boy with Aspergers Facebook page and anywhere else you fancy. What do you gain from it? Nothing other than the knowledge you took a few minutes to help raise awareness for children like my little man! You don’t even have to be a blogger just sharing your picture on twitter or our Facebook page means everyone can do it but only if they want too!

I’m hoping to collect enough images to create an awareness collage (You can see some old ones by clicking the autism college link in the blogs header).

So, what do you say? Everyone and anyone, whoever you are, wherever you are… Please help me raise awareness and stamp out the ignorance that surrounds us daily!

It will always be world autism day in our house and thousands others besides… Can you take five minutes to make it yours?

So… here’s my picture! Please don’t judge my smoking, it was one of those mornings, plus after Little mans refusal, I was simply filling in at short notice 🙂

Linky will be added to this post:)

Don’t forget to link up, you can do so for a month, though today is what its all about. Those who couldn’t get a picture but did a post instead, please do share it here too.

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• World Autism Awareness Day (itv.com)
• Help Me Reveal The Bigger Picture This World Autism Day (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Peete and Braxton spread the word on Autism Day (hollywood.com)

Look here comes the naughty kid

Image via Wikipedia

You look at me, your eyes pressed firmly upon me, you do not look away, instead you stare that deadly stare, the one I hate but have to bare!

Are you sniggering? Seriously… Why? Isn’t it time you moved on by?

Shaking your head, Oh, that would be right! Don’t you think I’ve had enough of that tonight?

OK, you’re laughing now… is my child’s discomfort, confusion or happiness, funny somehow?

Leaving? You have an appointment to gossip down by the school, I guess you’ve never seen a child quite as rude as mine before!

Of course I understand, his party invite didn’t arrive, lost in the post you say, yer, that would be right!

He wonders why the children have gone inside, Little man now has his pick of the rides, but sadly the see-saw, he’ll not be able to try.

It’s OK, please there’s no need to explain, I understand, your child is not able to play at our house today, his bedrooms a mess, so his chores he must abide… another time maybe, how about when his 45?

Seriously ladies, he doesn’t bite, his actually house trained, though have a meltdown he might!

Shit… that’s a camera… you’re taking pictures… you twat! A zoo animal he is not! take my advice, go run and hide, because right now, I might shove that camera right up your behind!

God, yes I’m stress! Please don’t suggest…. what I might… Did you have sleep last night?

It’s an excuse, his naughty for sure, look at his mother, I say no more!

Off to the doctors… is Johnny all right? Catch it! I ensure you, that’s not right!

We live in a society where ignorance is breathed like air, one or too may sweetly smile, while others just stand & stare, never in their lives have they seen such behaviour before!

Now, You may have experienced the deadly stare from the eye of a passer-by, as your toddler demonstrates his new skill of throwing himself on the floor! Yes, I’ve seen it, daily in fact, I’ve heard the gasps of horror as my child sets about attacking the neatly stacked tins while on a supermarket binge. I’ve witnessed the shaking heads, the tuts, the suggestions from those who misunderstood the situation! I’ve explained, I’ve cried, I’ve stuck my finger up and smiled, I’ve dealt with it swell, I’ve dealt with it not well!

My child is a boy, an 11-year-old boy… who wants to be liked, his actually quite nice!

I’ve witnessed how a busy park suddenly empties on a hot summers day, the parent that grabs her child and runs away! I’ve lost friends, they faded, disappeared simply ignoring me, hoping I’ll go away

Ignorance is crawl, inflicted by those, young and old, those that don’t know you or worse, those that love you!

It happens… it will always happen! It’s called parenting a child with Aspergers Syndrome, more appropriately… Hidden Disability Syndrome! He looks no different, his ticks and traits, hidden within a mass of boyish ways, but make no mistake when they surface you’ll judge him, you’ll judge me, you’ll judge our life, our family, our values, opinions and sadly you wont stick around and realise your own silly mistake!

This April is Autism Awareness month, with the 1st of April being “World Autism Day” I ask, that on this one day… you see the bigger picture, you take this one day to Google the words Autism and Aspergers, you read with an open mind and an open heart, I ask that you leave the ignorance behind you!

What are you looking at?

Hello everyone

Firstly let me send you all a belated happy world autism day.

Secondly let me explain why I didn’t get the chance to say that earlier!

Well, it’s been an interesting few days. As some may know Friday was ‘Autism Rainbow day’ I did my bit by dressing in all the colours of the rainbow. Judging by the public reaction to my clobber I’m guessing the cause isn’t that well known here in the UK. To many I just looked like a colour blind nut job. Well, it was all in the name of autism so what did I care, I’m totally used to being stared at, as it comes with the territory being a mum to a child on the spectrum!

Friday and Saturday were no exceptions. Let me elaborate a little.

Dressed in my rainbow mix match I decided to head to the supermarket to get something for dinner. My daughter was at my mothers so it was just me and my boys. I’ve written a good few post about the dangers of shopping with an Aspie over the two and a bit years I’ve been blogging, yet did I take my own advice, ‘Avoid taking him where possible, otherwise do so with caution?’ No of course I didn’t!

I’m normally very careful when it comes to taking little man to the supermarket, especially when his only just returned from his tuition at the library! The thing is I can’t even use the bath room without him by my side these days! So surly you can see my predicament when he was literally hanging from my jeans as I tried to make my escape through the front door.

I admit that I’m unsure if he enjoys visiting the supermarket or not? You see eight times out of ten he will have a meltdown with at least half of these being earth shakers (meaning full on blow ups) So you can see the potential risks involved. It’s like a military operation just getting there. He seems to love getting the shopping, acting the little man and of course asking for things, but at the same time all the waiting and crowds of shoppers really tick him off.

I was looking at the flowers for mothers day and I was trying to look at speed but within a few minutes little man was huffing and puffing like an old man. He then tried to unstrap his sixteen month old brother from the pram as he wanted him to play. Of course I grabbed the baby and strapped him back in as it was far to busy to have him on his feet. Little man freaked! He called me a string of hurtful names and began menacingly kicking at the display. On top of this the baby was howling the place down. Little man refused to push the small trolley he was pushing so I tried to push this along with the pram, but the trolley slipped from my grip and went smashing into the flowers. The baby was wailing, little man was cursing, and the fellow shoppers were enjoying the entertainment.

Can you imagine, I hadn’t slept a wink the previous night so was exhausted, dressed so bright I couldn’t be missed, flowers everywhere (praying I wasn’t charged damages), baby screaming so loud the tins were rattling and my little man throwing himself into everyone and anything that stood in his way while giving me an ear bashing.

On my knees I tried desperately to gather flowers from the floor (not one member of the public offered me some help) Suddenly all the noise, the babies screams, little mans shouting and the all the background noise decelerated, it all sounded muffled and I realised that I could hear my own thoughts over anything else around me. The voice in my head told me to get up and run… I almost did! but then that voice ordered me to do something else! “Get up off that dirty floor, brush myself off and take a look around me”

As I came to my feet, brushing petals and leafs from my jeans (that had patches of coloured material stuck to them in an attempt to vamp them up for autism rainbow day, I noticed that everything was slowly getting louder. I felt as if I was coming out of a dream like daze. The baby was no longer screaming, more sobbing, Little man was still ranting (he could go on for hours.) Looking around i noticed just how much of a spectacle my family had become.

“Excuse me everyone”, I shouted at the top of my voice, resulting in people either stopping in their tracks or making a run for it’

What I said next came from nowhere but my good it felt bloody fantastic.

I can’t remember word for word but it went something like this…

” Yes, His my son! No I never dragged him up! Yes his behaviour isn’t ideal, it’s bloody hard work! No your xxxxxxx stares don’t help!”

I grabbed the pram looked down at little man then finished by telling everyone,

“He has Aspergers, which is a type of autism. He don’t care that your staring but at this moment I do, So don’t!

I left feeling so much better then I could have. I was pleased that I had spoken up and felt no regret for doing so.

The following day was world autism day, I was now on a mission if anybody wants a repeat of yesterday I’m ready.
Of course I had to think like this as I was of out to meet a friend with the kids. The day was pretty much drama free but I needed to put a few people in there places.

At the end of an eventful few days my little man was drained and for the first night in ages little man slept.

“Yayyyyyyy

The only thing was he feel fast asleep on my bedroom floor right across the bedroom door. Not good when your dieing to use the little girls room.

I took a picture to share with you all.

Everyday is world autism day in our house

So it’s World Autism day on the 2nd of April and the entire month will be dedicated to raising awareness for a condition very close to my heart.

I have already read a few awareness post on some of my favorite blogs, I sat brainstorming about my own post for the day. It was only then I realised that everyday is world autism day in our house! It’s not only through this blog that I find myself trying to raise awareness by putting our story out there for the world to see, but I’m doing it through the social networking that I do such as Twitter and facebook. Even off line I’m doing the same, often without even knowing it.

Of course this won’t stop me trying to make some kind of impact on the day. I’m a firm believer that two voices are better then one (not that there’s only two voices but you know what I mean!)

If everyone’s life was touched by autism the world would be a more understanding place, but it isn’t and sadly that means that more often then not, those it don’t affect just don’t think about, the perception they have is pretty far off from the reality of the condition. These people can be educated but only if willing.

Then there is those that don’t believe, a big problem with some of the older generation which is mainly due to the fact such a condition wasn’t heard of when they were growing up, quite often making it come across as a load of meaningless gibberish. This is not just their view on autism but an array of conditions such as ADHD, Anxiety disorders, any condition that affects a persons emotions and behaviour etc. I’ve been told more then once by an elderly person that my son needs a smacked bottom in order to change his ways. An elderly lady on the bus recently told my son during a meltdown that if she acted like he currently was when she was a child her father would have taken the belt to her backside! My son didn’t have a clue what she was talking about and when he told her so she reacted by telling him he was a cheeky bugger, which really didn’t help! Yes, I was furious but I have to reason with myself that actually many of these people don’t know anything different. Your brought up a certain way, or go through a huge proportion of your life only seeing challenging behaviour as bad behaviour, that’s something that is incredibly hard to change! It makes you wonder how many off these people are actually on the spectrum themselves but just don’t know it.

Looking at the world ten years ago and looking at it now it’s fair to say awareness towards autism has come a long way! However looking at the high number of families battling against the system while being judged by fellow shoppers at the supermarket as a result of their child’s very public meltdown, it’s clear to see we still have a long way to go!

It is my believe that creating awareness for those considered to be at the ‘higher’ end of the autism spectrum will be somewhat harder to achieve. Those like my son who have a diagnosis of ‘Aspergers’ or ‘HF’ autism, will always have to fight that little bit harder for recognition. The fact that those with such a diagnosis are able to verbally communicate and have average to high IQ’s leads them to be misunderstood, looked upon as misbehaving and attention seeking. It’s my personal opinion that some (of course not all) parents to a child diagnosed as being on the ‘lower’ end of the spectrum are the ones that often show a degree of ignorance towards a child/adult further along that same spectrum. I remember attending a meeting held by our local autism support group. I asked a question concerning the criteria for admission to an asd specific school that was being built in the area. To my horror a fellow parent stood up and stated that children like mine shouldn’t be considered for a place as they were needed for those that truly needed them. This parent didn’t know me, had never met my child, all she knew about my child was the fact he had a diagnosis of aspergers due to my brief introduction of myself when first joining the group some few weeks before. I later discovered that her child was in a special school and doing OK, where’s my son had no school that could meet his complex needs and in actual fact if pursued would more likely be offered a place then that of her own child. I sat through the remainder of that meeting wondering how many other mothers shared this same view? Thinking about it, the majority of parents that I would often speak to within the group had children with a diagnosis of AS or HF autism, it just goes to show how misunderstood these diagnosis’s actually are!

Every individual on the spectrum is different, each will carry their own set of traits, Little mans being his difficulties with social communication and interaction, social imagination and literal understanding of language, and his sensory processing! Where’s another child may have fewer difficulties within these areas but have more profound difficulties with language skills, learning disabilities, personal care etc, It just depends!

Though each person with autism will have symptoms within the the same triad of impairments, those symptoms will vary from one person to the next. Each person has their own set of traits that defines their autism which makes up only one part of who they are. We all have our own personality and characteristics that define us and that’s the same for everyone even those with autism no matter what kind of autism that happens to be!

APRIL IS HERE!

APRIL IS HERE! THAT MEANS IT’S AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH.

It’s time to pull out all the stops and raise awareness for autism. Yes today is world autism day and this is the day to make sure you get your voice heard, however you choose to do it, do it well!

My son isn’t the only child in his school that has ASD, yet I have found that the school have chosen not to be involved in anyway. GOD HOW SAD. Here in the UK school’s seem to do little in the way of raising awareness for this cause so close to my heart. We have jeans 4 jeans day ( the kids each pay £I to dress up head to toe in jean) We also raise money for comic relief so why not world Autism day ? With numbers like I IN EVERY 150 CHILDREN BEING DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM you would think something would be happening today of all bloody days. So I’m taking it apron ones self to be heard. I’m emailing my son’s school right after I have posted this post. I will ask that the kids have the choice to pay £1 and in return they are able to wear fancy dress. All the money that they raise can then be given to a UK autism charity. Even through this wont happen in til the return of the Easter break, at least it would of happened:)

WILL INFORM YOU ARE ON MY PROGRESS