What Children With Aspergers Really Want For Christmas

Now, I’m not about to go all soppy by stating “That all our children with aspergers really want for Christmas is an appropriate school place and less judgement”because that wouldn’t be true.

Like any child, children with autism and Aspergers have their own interest, hobbies and Christmas wish list.

Every single year in the lead up to Christmas I find that many new readers find my blog as a result of googling terms such as “What to buy the child with Aspergers for Christmas” or “Gift ideas for children with autism and sen”

Every year we do the ‘Santa’s Little Helpers’ feature where the children showcase and review some toys. This year I’ve been a bit busier than other years so the feature has been on a much lower scale than previous. However, any review that little man does tends to get pretty high page views for the above reasons.

Over the years little mans Christmas list has been anything other than average… Its featured many a bizarre item, from padlocks to safes, batteries to working shop tills. One year we even got a request for a whole crate of fizzy drinks.

This year as he approaches his teen years the list seems somewhat more “normal” in terms of its contents. Well, that’s except for the request to hang out with Drew McIntyre his WWE idol and that of a life sized 4D simulator (needless to say both requests are somewhat out of my reach)! As you can see, Little man isn’t the type of child who scores the Argos catalog for ideas.

With this, I thought it would be interesting to pop over to my Facebook page “A boy with Aspergers” and ask some of the members there what their child with Aspergers has requested for Christmas whether this year or in past years.

Its important to remember that despite any diagnosis, all children with Aspergers have different likes and dislikes, yet unsurprising the results show lost of similarities.

Firstly – LEGO seems to be that of the biggest contender, especially when it comes to boys on the spectrum. Many will know that my little man started to discover the joys of LEGO a few years back and as a result it featured heavily on last years Christmas list and has subsequently made a return this year.

Many of the members over on the ‘A boy with Aspergers’ Facebook page state that their child has either asked for Lego StarWars, Lego Hero’s or just LEGO full stop.

One member told me “Anytime people ask my son what present he wants for any occasions they will get the answer in number form. Because my son’s world revolves around LEGO and its not a ‘Lego truck’ its the model number 4435 or whatever the number maybe”

Other answers highlight that younger children on the spectrum have developed obsessional interests in super heroes with Batman being one child’s special interest for the past 6 years. This child’s Christmas list consists off Batman Merchandise and again LEGO.

It’s also apparent from reading members replies that as their children have aged many of the their requests have changed and now focus on technology. Xbox and PS3 appears a number of times with one member mentioning the new Book of Spells which little man is currently reviewing and thinks is wonderful.

Some members stated how their child wanted to connect with others online to play games over that of the PS3 or Xbox networks. I can relate to this as since little man got his PS3 in October for his birthday, he has discovered the joy of connecting with friends (mainly our extended family) to play against them on FIFA or WWE.

Another big contender was of course the IPad. Is it any surprise? Even I’m wishing for the latest iPad.

Most of the members on the page that took part in the discussion, are parents to boys on the spectrum but a few parents to girls were also happy to share their daughters wish list. One of the page admins shared that her daughter has actually asked for a fridge for her bedroom where another member stated that her daughter wanted money so she could bank it. Yes, this little girl wants her own farm in the middle of nowhere and is already saving for it (and no, I’m not talking about a plastic toy farm but that of an actual farm). Another little girl has asked for a unicorn pillow, slippers and a Star Wars DVD box set (which seems to be popular with both the girls and the boys).

Another item that reappeared more than once was that of spy items such as spy pens and night vision goggles. Again, I can relate as Little man is in love with a spy watch that has a dictaphone and secretly video records (yes, it does actually tell the time too)!

In terms of the more bizarre items here’s some that made me giggle…

Magnets (boy)
A Custard Doughnut (boy 5)
Feather Duster (little girl)
Farm In the Middle of Nowhere ( girl 11)
Cell Phone & Pocket Knife (boy 5)
Electric Leaf Blower (boy 6)
Pyjamas With Feet (boy 9)
To Be Just Like Santa Himself (boy)
Lottery Ticket/Scratch card (boy 7)
Fridge in bedroom (girl 10)
A white keyboard without computer (boy)

Biggest Contenders

LEGO
MOBILE PHONES
IPADS
SPY TOYS
STAR WARS
WWE
TRAIN SETS
PS3
XBOX
LAPTOPS
LASERS
HOTWHEELS
HARRY POTTER
SUPER HEROS (Batman etc)
SONIC
JAMES BOND DVDS
SKYLANDERS

Ooo… I almost forgot one… Mindcraft seems to be on everyone’s most wanted list too!

Special Thank You – This post was put together with the help from members of the Facebook page ‘A Boy With Aspergers’ Thank you so much to those who took part in the discussion.
Claire- Louise. Xx

Aspergers and Birthdays

Well, it’s that time of year again! Little man is well on his way to becoming 12 and don’t we all know about it!

Now I love my son but what I don’t love is his constant banging on about his birthday… It’s driving me completely insane!

One of the traits of Aspergers Syndrome is that of obsessiveness.The tendency to go on and on about something of interest with no regard to the listener. Little man does this with his ‘special interest’ he also does this in the run up to his birthday! Now, I understand all children have the ability to become over excited about their birthday and most do! But for my little man this starts a little to early. His birthday is on the 1st October and he starts his birthday talk every July like clockwork.

This all starts with the searching and marking of items in the Argos catalogue. As his aged his discovered the beauty of the internet and now searches for his gifts on various different sites. Play.com and Amazon are just a few of the places he’ll look.

Over the past 2 months I’ve discovered at least 1 email per day in my inbox from the little man.The subject box always reads the same ‘G’s Birthday List’ I’ve actually had to create a folder just for his spam mail!

There does seem to be one or two differences this year compared to pervious years! He seems to be constantly changing his mind, going from one demand to the next! I seriously cannot keep up! Little man will normally get an idea of what he wants and then stick to it. This indecisive behaviour is something that combined with the constant birthday chatter is completely driving me bonkers!

Little man seems to have little concept of the value of money. Some of his requests have been dam right ludicrous when it comes to the cost. His requested everything from vintage slush puppy machines to real working shop tills. Then there’s the more “normal” requests like a Playstation 3 or a PC. These request are normally fine but money hasn’t been great these past few months and with a few weeks to go I’m hoping to get anything.

I remember when the Little man’s birthday and Christmas list would consists of a lot stranger items than anything of the above. He would ask for batteries, padlocks and even fizzy pop. I’m sure regular readers will already know this from my past posts on the subject.

As for what we are doing for his birthday, I just don’t know! His Aspergers makes surprises a no go and the need for me to get my butt in gear and start pulling a plan together is a must. I’ve been wracking my brains tonight and I’m just not getting that big bulb going off in my head!

So, heres hoping that one goes off very soon, because before you know it, it will be Christmas!

Did you know it was just 14 weeks to go?

As easy as child’s play

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Play, A god given right for all children!

 Its importance is critical to the development of every child regardless of, Class, age, race, gender or ability!

 With every game of peek a boo, every story told and building block added to a carefully constructed tower, your child learns something new & exciting.

 A child may not speak or be able to hear, he may not walk, they may be even confined to a wheelchair, nonetheless this doesn’t mean the child will benefit from play any-less, regardless of a child’s disability, they should be encouraged in play, and will enjoy it like any other child.

 As a mother to three children, I really love playing and interacting with my children, whether its make-believe, a board game or something else all together! Though yes, I do admit it’s not always easy to find the time, yet its something I consider important so try to make it a priority (something we engage in a few times a week minimum).

 As most regular readers will know, my eldest son has Aspergers syndrome which forms part of the autism spectrum. At almost 11 years old, Little man was my first-born, when I was at the tender age of 18. I noticed pretty early on in little mans life that his play style was somewhat different from what I considered to be typical play for a child his age.

 My daughter didn’t come into our lives for a further two and a bit years, meaning I had plenty of one on one time with my developing baby. Games such as Peek a Boo or sing alongs didn’t give of that WOW factor for Little man, instead they sent him into a howling frenzy. 

 Regardless of the above I persisted in my quest, a road of discovery, encouraging my child to engage in interactive play. I knew he got enjoyment from playing alone, I didn’t discourage, though I didn’t reframe from interactive play either! I’m convinced this has been of some benefit to my child now his older. 

 Play helps feed a child’s imagination helping it grow, it allows a child to use creativity while helping them to connect to their surroundings and adapt play to their environment. I believe that play can help a child learn certain roles and requirements while aiding the development of dexterity, physical, cognitive strength.

When your child is on the autism spectrum, play may not be what you typically expect it to be!

 Yes, I learnt the hard way, don’t we all? 

 I learnt that my child didn’t actually require all the latest toys that the boy next door was playing with. My expectations both before and after Little man was born were unrealistic, I had naively assumed that all children played the same way! Play was play, nothing more, nothing less, It all amounted to the same thing! God I had a shock awaiting me and a hell of a lot to learn.

I had no intention on lying to my friends and family when I announced that Little man loved Bob the builder only to end up with a house full of Bob merchandise come Christmas! In some respects I think I half convinced myself it was the case, well he had at least glanced in the direction of the tool kit I had brought him!  It wasn’t just Bob the builder, I was a mother moving with the times & quite honestly the latest craze that I quite often learnt about from the gloating neighbour who would quite often proudly inform me about the latest Spiderman bike her son was now whizzing around on! The next week Little man would have that very same bike, though it remained in the cupboard by the front door only ever seeing the light of day once, twice if you include the day I awkwardly tried to get it home on the bus. This was one of hundreds of toys that were both a waste of time and yes money!

 Looking back as I write this I get a glimpse of how bloody crazy I was! Yes, total denial sweep through me.

 It was only once I had taken a few steps back and observed the situation that both myself and especially little man began to benefit.

 I note… No, Little man did not like playing with Cars (though he quite does today) he did however love spinning the wheels over and over again! I decided that actually that was OK.

 I note… No, Little man did not love Bob the builder (though I only wish I had kept all that merchandise as my youngest is Bob gaga) though he did love Thomas the tank. I decided again, that was fine!

  I discovered that between the ages of 2 and 7 Little man only ever really played with train sets and transport mats despite his bedroom now looking like the Disney store!

 Finally I excepted this!

 I stopped focusing on that Little boy next door, therefore letting go of that, “My child should be playing with that toy” scenario! I focused on the Little man instead and what I saw was no longer what I felt I needed to see through my own stereotypical rigidness, I now saw Little man for the child he actually was! I successfully learnt my first very valuable lesson about play! 

 “Play is unique there is no right or wrong way of doing it”! 

 By stepping into Little man’s world while taking small steps to engage with him in this child lead play I noticed he slowly became more interactive, wanting me to take an interest in his games. 

 Yes, all along I just needed to go with the flow (so to speak) I needed to embrace and celebrate his interest, a massive milestone

 Oh, and did I mention that big credit should be given to my wonderful daughter? Siblings can actually be a massive source of learning  for the child on the spectrum, Alice-Sara certainly was!

 Alice-Sara was that child who played like I also assumed all children did! She played the way I always expected the Little guy would!

 Through sheer willingness and determination his younger sibling did something wonderful without really knowing it! She introduced her older brother to role-play! She taught him the value of this type of play and helped him develop the tools needed to engage in it!

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 It is this aspect of play that I firmly believe is the true instrument needed for a child with Aspergers to progress.

 I don’t know if Alice-Sara just longed for this type of interactive play from her older brother, but as a small child she fought to get it, and she did!

 OK, it isn’t perfect, as much as he is able to engage in such play it is still largely ritualistic and he can become overly controlling often using his younger sibling as a play object, yet his come a long way!

 However ritualistic and Un-spontaneous his play maybe, his sister has successfully taught him how to play schools (a game he still plays today, though it always involves a school “bus”) he also loves playing shop keepers and hospitals (if his the ambulance driver of course)! 

This variety of play offers so much to the child on the spectrum. The child will learn important social interaction skills, and a number of other important life skills they will acquire in life. 

 I’ve seen my Little man go from the child who really did prefer the box as opposed to the toy that came in it at Christmas (mainly due to what I was giving him) to a child who now enjoys play so much more and through he still does it alone, he is much more willing to play with his peers even if they don’t always oblige to him joining in. 

 Yes, he still has them “odd” items on his Birthday and Christmas wish list; Batteries padlocks, neon electric fly zapping lights; and 20 cans of DR pepper to name a few; yet he also loves, computers, lego, model buses and trains, bikes, scooters, board games and magic tricks. 

 Recently I saw a worrying statement 

“As easy as child’s play don’t apply to children with autism”

 “That is bum fluff!”

 “Just because it isn’t typical doesn’t mean it isn’t magical!” 

I learnt that the hard way, I hope you don’t!