Tag Archives: Trick-or-treating

My Halloween Miscarriage

27 Oct

Back in September 2008 I discovered I was pregnant,  things were quite stressful with Little man and we were yet to get his diagnosis. However regardless, I was both excited and happy at discovering I was going to be a mummy again.

 Halloween 2008 I took the children trick or treating around some of the local neighbours houses. Little man spotted the white house decorated in bright orange and greens, that stood on the corner of our road. It was a house the children had visited before, the owners had children that went to the same school as mine. I remember thinking how stunning it looked, not only had they gone all out in decorating it for the Halloween season but they had just undergone a massive refurbishment to the in and outside of the house, adding a conservatory and an extension to the side of the house to add extra rooms (well, so I was informed).

 Little man slung open their gate and ran for the shiny new door with its bronze heavy knocker. I chased after him, dragging my daughter behind me. I didn’t want Little man knocking alone, I don’t know how many times I had imposed that rule.

 Here’s where I am convinced my nightmare began. As I walked up to the door to retrieve my child, I suddenly fell to the ground.

 I had fallen hard onto my shins and a pain so fierce shoot up my back like fire. I looked down and noticed I had fallen down a gap in the ground, separated by two thick planks of wood. It’s hard to explain, but it was like missing paving but deeper. The family had obviously not yet finished their refurb, so why was the house done up like a witches paradise with a big sign stuck in the ground that read, “Trick and treaters stop here”

 My shins had taken the force of my fall, so why had this pain rocketed up my back? This pain was so bad I was crying. The owners giggled at first asking me “couldn’t you see the big gap in the ground” Were these people crazy it wasn’t daylight the sky was black.

 I don’t remember much else apart from me screaming in pain and anger to the woman of the house, that she shouldn’t be encouraging children to knock when her house is a death trap. I called my sister who took over with the children and I went home and feel asleep.

 3 weeks after this happened I sadly attended a friends funereal and after that during the wake I discovered a small amount of blood when using the toilet. A friend and her partner rushed me to our local hospital where they confirmed my HCG levels were low.

 I was sent home and told to return to my 12 week scan as normal if nothing else happen. Nothing else did happen and with each day passing I grew more confident.

 I refused to have anybody come with me to that scan at the end of November 2008, why would I need anyone there I could always bring a picture home with me.

 As I lay there with my heart in my mouth I felt the cold jelly being placed on my stomach. It wasn’t long before the Doctor looked at me and shook her head, she got up and went to fetch someone else who confirmed that my baby had no heartbeat.

 I didn’t know what I would tell my children and their father, I called my friend and we both cried, the pain I felt was hideous and I just wanted it all to stop.

 The Doctor explained that I had actually lost the baby some weeks before as I was carrying a 8-9 week fetus. I had what the Doctor called a ‘Missed Miscarriage’ meaning there were no signs, no pain, no nothing.

 I would wait till the Monday another 3 days before having a D&C.

 I went home with that fetus that would never grow and be born still inside of me. I curled up on the sofa, refused to eat or talk. My partner had told the children and Little man kept asking me the same question over and over.

 “Did the baby die on Halloween mummy”

 It was a long weekend and I tried to get on with things. While coming home on the train having been at a friends, the pain that I was meant to have felt all them weeks ago suddenly filled me. I got of the train and my friend tried to get a cab. I wouldn’t go to the hospital I knew what was happening. I just wanted it to happen indoors. Thankfully it did. There was a lot of blood and at home in my toilet I finally passed with one massive scream, what had felt like a golf ball. I spent the night crawled up in bed crying but deep down I was pleased that I could now move on.

 I called the hospital on the Monday but was told to come in for a scan just to make sure everything had passed.

 Again I laid there and waited, but when she jumped up to go and get the doctor I felt false hope. Was they wrong, but I’m bleeding, maybe it’s a big mistake? It was  a big mistake but not like I had hoped! There on the monitor was a fetus but not the same fetus but its twin that had continued to fight on for longer than its sibling. Sadly there was now no heartbeat but baby 2 measured up at 11 weeks. I wondered why it wasn’t seen before and later learnt it was the positioning.

 I went through that pain all over again, I cried double the tears and I woke from that D&C feeling like I had failed.

 This was in December 2008 and I went on to become pregnant with my beautiful Harley in the February of 2009 (not even 3 months later) I was both excited yet so bloody scared.

 Harley was born in December 2009 a healthy 9lb one year after my D&C

 Yes, I will always wonder if that white house on the corner was the killer of my unborn babies.

 I know that my children wont be calling their this year, that’s for sure!

Get your monsters looking spooky fabulous this Halloween

25 Oct

 So, this year it’s going to be a spook-taculer Halloween in our household.

 Its all kicking off this Friday when the children will be going to a Halloween come Birthday party. Of course it’s gonna be fancy dress and the children are well and truly kitted out. 

 The lovely guys over at ‘Fancy Dress Outfitters ’ have sent my little monsters some awesome costumes to get dressed up in.

 We have Alice in her long and puffy black and deep purple dress accessorised with funky headgear. Alice-Sara is normally known as my little princess but for Halloween only, I will refer to her as my Little vampiress.

 Then there is Harley who quite honestly looks more adorable than frightening in his black hooded spider top that has an all most 3D effect to it.

 While Little man is doing his thing in a less than scary number. Yep, Little man don’t do scary so he is a Ninja and is calling himself the “Ginger Ninja”.

It’s hard to find an outfit when it comes to little man, what with his sensitivity to certain materials we have to aim to get it just right. Unfortunately when choosing to get his outfit online we don’t have that benefit of seeing the chosen product, so it’s therefore a case of wait and see! For many families with children on the spectrum online shopping is the only way to do it! The prospect of shopping with the child on the spectrum can sometimes be too much to bear what with the chances of a meltdown, which are sadly quite common, especially when it comes to shopping! Fortunately for us the Ninja costume was perfect in terms of the way it felt for him, in a tactile sense. Its not the type of material I would normally get him, however the fact it had little seams and it clang to his skin almost like a wet-suit actually suited him to a tee! The Ninja all-in-one cuts of above the ankle which was even better as he would have only rolled up the legs otherwise! The fact that the delivery of all the items we chose were here pretty much within a 24hr period meant that given the outfit wasn’t suitable, we could have return it and grabbed and tried something else in its place. 

 Normally we can’t really find a Halloween costume that ticks all the boxes for Little man and most years he ends up taking pieces of bit by bit. The mask that came with his outfit is just like a bandanna and his find with that. If he had a rubber, plastic or even woolly mask, things would have been different, there is absolutely no way he would have even contemplated wearing such a thing. 

 Alice’s outfit gives off that old-time Victorian look. She wanted a Cat at first then a devil but finally went for this one. I love the detailing around the seams and on the lower skirt, glittery bats give it that dead spooky edge.

 The tiniest toot out the bunch, ‘Harley’ loved his spider dress-up so much he wouldn’t take the thing off. I will admit that when I first chose it, I assumed it was an all-in-one rather than just a top! Well, I can only blame myself, for not reading the description and doing what I tell the children not to do, Just making assumptions based on the images displayed! So, yep that’s pretty much my own fault! Though It doesn’t matter as he still looks very cute and we just put some black bottoms on with it.


 

 So now my kids are all blinged out, I really can’t wait till the party. Little man doesn’t really get invited to parties and when he got invited to his first one last year we were both made up! This time it’s the party of a family friend, therefore all should be OK and given the fact I’m going to I’m guessing we will have no problems (though I’m pretty sure he will mingle amongst the grownups as
opposed to the children). 

 Other spooky stuff we have plan this weekend is a trip to LEGOLAND Windsor. We were given the tickets by Merlins in the summer but haven’t yet had the chance to go! Merlin’s Magical wand give tickets to families of children with disabilities once a year (you can apply by clicking here) I’m hoping there will be some Halloween activities on for the children. I plan to take my Newish Cannon camera (yes, I’m getting fond of photography lately and it’s my official choice of hobby at the moment). So Look out for a spooky Silent Sunday this week.

As for Monday, will we be trick or treating?

I don’t mind it, as long as we visit only friends, neighbours and family, what’s the harm? There are houses the children visit every year and this makes the process go by quite quickly. However it’s not what it used to be! We’re located in Southeast London and it’s no Emmadale farm here. Little man suffers from anxiety and was extremely frighten one year when some of the older children basically hammered on the door like the SAS were on the other side of it! When we failed to give them the requested £1 each (Yes, £1 x 6 cheeky buggers) they decided to throw eggs at the window (all I could think was thank heavens it wasn’t a brick)! Little guy therefore prefers to be out among the eggers instead of in doors feeling afraid.

We are also, all set to do some Halloween baking so please look out for this post coming up over the weekend. Remember I’ve got a Little Jamie Oliver in the making on my hands. 

So, as an extra Little special treat, in order to spread some Halloween Love the fantastic ‘Fancy Dress Outfitters’ have agreed to a competition of one of their awesome costumes (another fab competition to add to the list) I was able to go on and chose something and my god it was hard as they have so many awesome costumes. 

I decided to pick two, One boys and One girls costume, however the winner must choose out of the two. I just wanted to make sure I had covered both angles here, as knowing my like if I had chosen a boys costume some mother of all girls would have won! 

The costumes you get to choose from are as followed. 

 
Bat man for the Boys in sizes 4-6 up to 10-12 or…

 This adorable Minnie mouse costume in sizes 3-4 up to 7-8 for all the little ladies


How to win

 There are a number of ways you can win, however you must do the compulsory actions before engaging in any additional entries. 

 Compulsory

Like the Fancy dress outfitters on facebook and tell them “A boy with Aspergers sent you” stating what costume you want to win! “Batman” “Minnie” then comment to let me know you have done it.

 Additional entries 

Submit this blog on Digg or Stumble it, then comment to let me know you have done so!

 Follow me on twitter, comment telling me you have done so

 Follow the fancy dress outfitters on twitter then comment to let me know you have done so.

 Subscribe to my blog via email then comment to let me know you have done so

 Share on facebook via the share button in this post (tagging A boy with Asperger’s facebook page). Comment to let me know you have done it.

 Tweet using the tweet button in this post then comment to let me know you have done it. 

Competition open to UK residents only and will close on the 15th November 2011. Winner will be drawn at random and then notified asap. Winner has 48hrs to respond otherwise the winner maybe redrawn. 

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