Our Dream Of A Sensory Room

When I saw the home makeover competition being run by Tots100 & ratedpeople.com I knew I had to enter it!

You see, the prize money of £2,500 to makeover a room in your house would enable us to do things that are currently far beyond our reach. My home is far from perfect, in fact its not in particularly good shape at all. I won’t even show you pictures of our half missing ceiling in the living room (yes its fell down twice almost killing us) and I’m still waiting for the second repair. However its not repairs for my living room that I have on my mind, nor is it the thought of a beautifully decorated home… No no! It’s actually the children’s rooms, especially that of the little mans.

It pains me to show you any pictures of my sons room. It’s horrid and its current state is not helping his sensory needs or that of his sleeping problems. But as I’m seriously struggling to pay for this room to be fixed up (on top of others) I feel I actually cannot afford to miss this opportunity and therefore must. Firstly let me explain some of our issues. We discovered his ceiling was actually made from Polystyrene which is a serious fire hazard so needed ripping down. Of course it was hiding something! His walls are also crumbling and the housing fixed the floor board by covering it up with rubbish hard board which has staples all over it.

Ok… I’m doing it I’m actually uploading the horror for the world to see…

Little man has Aspergers Syndrome with sensory processing difficulties within all areas of his senses. His also a very poor sleeper. For us this would be so much more than a nicely decorated 12 year old boys bedroom! It would be our sons sanctuary, a bedroom come sensory room! This is something that would make a significant difference In his life and that of ours, his family. I honestly believe it would improve his extremely poor sleeping pattern and therefore mend mine a little.

I have so many ideas when it comes to the creation of Little mans sensory room. It would be an environment that provides him with a very laid back, chilled out space. It would be filled with things to help relax him, therefore enhancing his moods, providing sensory stimulation and importantly a great nights sleep. We know sensory rooms are a key part of little mans school routine and we know such a space could change a lot of behaviours and difficulties. I’ve tried my best to make it as inviting as possible but in all honesty at the moment its a poorly used space that as you can see, isn’t fit for use… A few sensory lights are all he currently has to jazz. It up

Below are some of my ideas…

Colour: its very important for us to ensure little mans room is very visually inviting. Bright colours are something that form a big part of this vision.

Foam mats: Little man is really into WWE Wrestling at present and its a very intense (special) interest. This means that he is forever acting out the moves displayed by his favourite wrestler. He currently has no carpet and the noise is unbelievably loud. He throws himself around the room like crazy regardless of the hour (neighbours have actually felt the need to knock at 4 am). The mats would be perfect for his sensory room. He would be safer (less bumps and bruises) and our house may just stop vibrating giving us a pleasant relationship with the neighbours!

Teen style: Its important that regardless of little mans needs and that of his room having a sensory element to it, his room still has that stylish WOW factor about it. He is 12 years old and well on his way to becoming a teenage boy. He wants a room that don’t only provide sensory comfort but looks the part too! This is why I’ve chosen the super cool sliding door wardrobe, he would absolutely love this.

Mood Lighting: A massive part of any sensory room is its lighting.The lighting in the collage background above is LED night lighting which I know he would love. His a big fan of the lava lamp and the one above would fit perfectly. As you can see from both the above image and that of the one below, a variety of mood lighting is the key to the creation of a great sensory room.

Cool down area: With the addition off some cushions, bean bags and a little dim lighting you find you have created the perfect chill out space. What’s great about a sensory room is how you have the one room yet a number of different spaces within it. A sensory room is designed to be calming and inviting. But it can provide a space designed to stimulate the body and mind. The chill-out space in itself would be the ideal place to help little man shake of any stress or simply recover following a meltdown.

Hammock: The hammock would help little man with the difficulties he experiences due to his out of sync vestibular sense. This means that he often experiences poor body awareness (where his body is within space) A great way to describe this feeling would be to imagine what it feels when you go on a fairground ride that throws your body about in all directions, lifting your feet of the ground at speed or dropping you from a great hight. A hammock or swing would actually work as a therapeutic aid as well as a relaxing space.

The sensory curtain in the above picture is fantastic. Little man recently saw one like this at an expedition and instantly took to it! It’s a very tactile curtain and would be an ideal feature for his very own sensory room.

As for the bed, again i’ve taken into account his need for a stylish space as well as a sensory one. This bed is fantastic! It continues on the bight colour theme what with its striking green wood and very modern design. It’s also a great bed in terms of storage (something his room is currently lacking). I’ve also chose the funky tall unit with brightly coloured storage boxes to store all them wrestling figures and truck loads of Lego.

One of my favourite aspects of a sensory room is how tactile they can be. Little man is very tactile defensive and needs a lot of tactile input to help him adapt and improve his tactile sense. Given he loves Lego the idea of a Lego wall is a great one. It’s very tactile and will further enhance his imagination.

I’ve really enjoyed pulling my ideas together for this challenge. I’ve had them floating around in my head for the last few years and although certain elements have slightly changed (like chosen items and colours) the overall desire to create such a wonderful space remains very much the same.

As a self diagnosed pin head, pinterest is yet another place you can find more of my sensory and autism related boards! I’ve also created one especially for this competition. You can find it by clicking Here

So… There you have it… Our current dream of a sensory room and some very shabby existing interior.

Please note: If like myself you are wanting to create a sensory room, I recently discovered a post on a blog called PlayPennies on creating sensory rooms on a budget. Really worth a look.

Disclaimer: This post is my entry into the Tots100 and RatedPeople.com Home Decor Competition.

A Holiday Worth Remembering

There was no beautiful crystal blue waters laid beside a bed of golden-yellow sand! Instead there was muddy fields, trees & a lake! 

 There was no all-inclusive 5 star resort, a room with a sea view, instead there were tents, lots and lots of tents, all with a view of the portable loo’s. 

 As you may have guessed already, this wasn’t a holiday in the exotic Maldives or even a week in Spain, this was a Friday-Monday break in “Sunny” Oxfordshire England. 

 I’d be lying if I stated this was my favourite holiday, yet this is one I feel worthy of a write-up, one that showed me that a good family holiday didn’t have to mean an all-inclusive package dream holiday! 

 We couldn’t afford a family holiday in the summer of 2011 and I was grateful to have won the opportunity to have a weekend away with my children. Yes, I worried how the non structured holiday would sit with the Little man (aka A boy with Aspergers) but despite some ups and downs we had a pretty amazing time. 

 We arrived quite late on a Friday night having gotten lost a number of times down what seemed to be the same country lane! We found a great spot on the ground amongst a hundred other tents and tried to pitch what was to become our home for the next 3 nights! I say “tried” as we were still trying to pitch this thing some 2 hours later and almost took to sleeping under the stars when some jolly campers helped us out. 

 Little man and his sister embraced the whole camping experience pretty well, with little man sleeping better than he actually ever has (maybe it was the fresh air or the sheer exhaustion of it all, who knows)!The Wilderness festival: Little man places his wish on the tree, Alice with her face painted, Little man looks on at some wacky insects and right the beautiful lake.  

 By morning I started to see the experience in a whole new light! There was no swimming pool but instead we swam in the beautiful natural lakes under an array of slopping willow trees, I even swim under a beautiful star lite sky. 

 There was no hotel bar but instead we had open log fires with bars that resembled mini beach huts, to dance amongst the deers and trees was a totally awesome experience.

 We didn’t slip on our sandals and stroll along the beach, instead we wiggled into wellies and strolled along the river bank in the early mornings sunlight that shone between the cracks of the branches of the tall trees of the wilderness. To say it was beautiful would be an understatement!The beautiful lake, Little man has his face painted and his delight at his reflection. Alice runs in the Wilderness. 

 I sat and watched my son get his face painted for the first time, a huge step for the child with sensory sensitivity! Was it the magic of the Wilderness, who knows? I know that the smile on his face when looking in the mirror will stay with me forever!

Little man becomes Little tiger! Alice-Sara and Little man love the Little Alien & a magical tunnel in the Wilderness secret garden

  My children enjoyed boat trips along the river and strawberry picking in the near by fields that surrounded the Wilderness, we took them on long drives to neighbouring villages and stood by watching the wild horses race in the huge green fields. Yes, this may not have been an exotic break away, there was not a glimpse of blue sea and I swear it even rained on one of the days we were away, yet this was a holiday that taught me that holiday’s are what you make them. Yes, we do hope that this year we will visit some place that bit warmer, but we will never forget the holiday in the Oxfordshire Wilderness, for it was simply a holiday that is…and always will be worth remembering!

Above: Alice in a wig and hat, Alice with flowers in her hair & bottom Alice and Little man enjoying the festival.

This post has been posted as an entry into the Tots100/Al Fresco Holidays competition, as well as a link to the Al Fresco website http://www.thomsonalfresco.co.uk/

A great 2011 for A boy with Asperger’s

A boy with Asperger’s 2011

At the beginning of the year I wrote a two-part post covering all the stuff that had happened during 2010 (yes, seriously this took two post and most of it was nothing but bad happenings). So, looking back through 2011 and realising just what an amazing year’s blogging I’ve had, I just had to do it all again.

So here it is, the busiest year on the blog so far, A boy with Asperger’s 2011

January: Not the best month to be honest, we finally get that all important statement of special educational needs for Little man, only toilet paper would have been worth more. Nonetheless we fight to the depths of the earth and it’s amended later in the year and thankfully contains everything he needs thanks to those all important independent assessments & reports.

February: We finally get some good news, which I document in the post, “The end of a chapter” The mainstream school in-which Little man used to attend finally holds up their hands and we get that all important apology in writing, we therefore settle on the Disability discrimination case only weeks before the tribunal hearing. Another great high to February was the invite I received from Cadbury that saw me and a friend attend an excellent Adult only event (no not in that way) we actually tried to set world records doing normal household chores with a twist (making a bed, unravelling toilet rolls and more besides). This was also the month that I got to interview Colin an adult with Asperger’s who had a very interesting message for Mr Cameron.

March: This was a terrible month, the month that saw my eldest Little man (AKA, A boy with Aspergers) get punched in the stomach by a much older youth of eighteen, while playing at the park with a friend and his mother. Little man was just ten at the time and had said “The wrong thing” to a group of older kids, you can read the post “How could that hurt my little boy” for the full story. March was also the month I shared my concerns on the pending Green paper in the post “Aspirations or clever financial alterations”

April: I’m contacted by the lovely Anna Kennedy in regards to her ‘Autism and bullying’ campaign, as a result of this little man appears in an ITV news report which I wrote about in the post “Little man’s television debut” which was perfect timing, what with it being autism awareness month. I also highlight how appearing on the television went to his head a little resulting in him asking everyone and anyone “Do you know who I am”

May: It was this month I wrote one of my favourite post to date “I’m no Vicky Pallord” I also discover that I’m nominated for a Mad blog award shortlisted in two categories, “Most inspiring blog” & “Blogger of the year”

June: Brings with it a fresh start for the Little man when the local LEA crave in before yet another tribunal, agreeing his place at his independent special school for children with autism and aspergers. This was also a really exciting month in the world of blogging, I was featured in two local papers, making front page news in “The Southlondon press” with the Headline “Mum sets blogging standard” & I was also featured in the “Newshopper” both highlighting the news that I had become a finalist in the Mad blog awards 2011. I also got to attend my first ever Cybermummy (blogging conference) and with it the blog received it’s first ever sponsor Londontown.com who paid for me to stay in a beautiful hotel on the night of the conference.

Nonetheless, although the above is all fabulously exciting, June was also a very emotional & overwhelming month, what with Little man adapting to his new routine and little sleep, it resulted in me writing this very open and honest post “falling apart”

July: This was the month I started the Santa’s little helpers feature resulting in me working with some pretty spectacular brands, we were also invited to the multimedia screening of Mr Poppers penguins in London’s , Leicester Square. Alice-Sara brings her friend who are both  excited by the odd celeb spot. In the middle of the month me and the children attend the Pandemonium festival in Northampton to celebrate the release of kung-fo panda 2 as VIP guest of Cadbury. The children get to test the new mini games, Harley becomes obsessed by the panda himself and we eat lunch next to the ambassador of china (Yer, I was praying that Little man didn’t treat the guy and his family to a demonstration of a meltdown, “Asperger’s style”)! Myself and Harley my youngest also attended the Boots bump to Baby event in London’s beautiful Haymarket hotel where Harley took a shine to the lovely Rachel Stevens and the boots clothing range (from the pic below who would think his only 18 months here). July is also the month I treat readers to an up-date on the amazing progress Little man is making at his new school.

August: A busy yet crazy month as I celebrate the publishing of my three page article in the SEN publication (please check it out by clicking HERE if you haven’t already). Myself, youngest Harley, sister and her daughter get invited to the tots event of the year, “The lollibob” where we go VIP and the kids have a blast meeting the likes of Bob the builder, Peppa pig and Ben and Holly from the Little Kingdom.

August was also the month that saw chaos unfold in the devastating London riots. I organised a Lewisham riot cleanup on twitter with the use of the hash tag #lewishamriotclean and from then on everything went a little mad, what with being interviewed for the BBC breakfast show by Gabby in the back of a taxi on the way to Lewisham following a sleepless night due to the sounds of rioters looting the supermarket directly across the road. Then as myself and Little man (yes, he cleaned Lewisham too) stood in Lewisham with a dust pan and brush waiting for fellow locals who I’d rounded up with the help of social media to join us, I’m shocked to discover the BBC are there to greet us. Yes, they interviewed me and followed my progress throughout the day, I later cringed watching myself on the 6pm news, in a report that seemed to go on for ever. My use of the quote “Lewisham is cleaner than usual” following the councils own operation seem to be something of a hit and spread across the papers and internet like wide fire! The images of Little man clearing up outside JD Sports still melt my heart and make me mighty proud.

 

August saw us working with some great brands, Micro Scooter & Meccano to name just a few. Little man also has great fun testing sensory toys this month and I try to raise awareness for child mental health by opening up and writing “Just a Little girl”

September: This is a month that holds some great memories for me, not only did myself and some of the other Mad blog award finalist find ourselves invited to TKMaxx London’s flagship store to choose evening dresses and accessories for the for the Mad blog awards ceremony but I also went on to win ‘Most inspiring blog 2011’ at the awards itself, which was held at the fabulous Talk-Talk experience centre in London’s Soho. Not only did I win, get to meet a host of other fab bloggers but I also experienced a great working relationship with my mad blog awards sponsor ‘OptiBac Probiotics‘.

With all the above going on I really don’t know how I managed to squash in one of my most popular post on the blog to date, “How well do you really know your child’s teacher”

October: was a month that saw the blog working with some pretty big brands such as Sainsburys & Argos, I make two local papers again having been interviewed by the SouthLondon Press and the Newshopper on winning a Mad blog award! Little man takes over the blog, (well, kind of, he finally says how he feels in his first interview, for the blog) where he talks about his Asperger’s, discrimination, bullying, feeling different and acceptance, click Here to read.

November: I’m delighted to become a judge at the BBC Christmas ideal home show for the face of Argos competition which was an amazing experience. I’m invited to lunch by Sainsbury’s at the BBC NEC Winter food show where I also get to watch a live Master chef cook off, I have a great time and meet some awesome people at Liberty’s London when I attend a charity event and I also start working with the wonderful ‘John Crane’ and ‘When I was a kid’ check out the post ‘Joining Forces‘!

It was in November I wrote the post “Merlin’s Magical wand helping children benefit from the magic, well that is unless they have autism” which had 2,000 hits within a few hours and is the busiest post of 2011!

December: The last month of ‘Santa’s Little helpers’ I therefore launch the ‘Santa’s Little helpers, the big christmas countdown’ we feature loads of fantastic competitions with awesome prizes up for grabs. I also get invited onboard P&O ferries to take a trip from Dover to Calais alongside the lovely “Romanian mum where we shop till we drop, and to end such a fabulous year’s blogging, I’m lucky enough to be invited by the fabulous Tots100, to it’s big Christmas party at Butlin’s Bognor Regis where myself, friend and children get to stay in the beautiful Ocean hotel, though Little man finds the change a bit hard to bear.

Wow, there it is, what a year!

There’s been some massive ups and as you can expect one or two downs (what do you expect, this isn’t a fairy tale you know!) But you have to admit, it’s a massive improvement from 2010 that sadly along with 2009 saw much stress and heartache, which just proves, you never know what’s lurking around the corner!

I really do hope that ‘A boy with Asperger’s’ has provide readers with smiles, laughs, entertainment, inspiration, awareness and more!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all my amazing loyal readers
We love yer!

A Christmas party- Mummy blogger style

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DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Well, it’s a whole week since the Tots100 Christmas party at Butlin’s (where does the time go)? So… I thought it was about time I shared with you all the positives of our family trip, my overall thoughts on the Butlin’s resort located in West Sussex’s Bognor Regis, plus fill you in on all the gossip from the Tots100 Christmas meal & afternoons festive activities.

 Some of you may have read my last post which mainly focused on my sons difficulties in his inability to adapt to the new surroundings, he was therefore unable to settle during the break and as a result he became quite challenging. It didn’t seem right, nor fair to write about my overall experience at Butlin’s or my thoughts and documentation on the Tots100 Christmas party! Basically that was a real negative post and to mix the two just wouldn’t have worked, nonetheless I had to write it, clear my head, move on and hopefully  learn from it! 

 On a lighter note, we were incredibly lucky to be given the chance to go to Butlin’s especially during such a festive period! It was the Christmas fantasy weekend and as a result there was a great deal going on. As the Tots100 party was being held at the Butlin’s resort, attendees were given an awesome deal on a weekend stay in one of its two lovely hotels, and what’s more the family could come along too (something I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to afford to do at this expensive time of year). 

 We got booked to stay at the Ocean hotel which has beautiful views over looking the sea front. Now I have been to the Bognor resort before but this was some years back and the first hotel was just in the process of being built. It had changed somewhat and seemed that bit classier (if you know what I mean). 

 I don’t know what I expected in terms of the hotel, what with it being part of the resort as I’ve only every stayed in the apartments on pervious visits. We didn’t arrive on the resort till gone 11pm Friday night, as we approached the entrance to the hotel, my somewhat whining tired children suddenly become wide eyed and excited. Harley absolutely loved the Snowmen that line the walkway into the hotel and spent most of the weekend saying, “Look Snowman” every time we passed them. 

 The Ocean was fabulous what with its Disco lifts and magical lighting… Yes, you may think it sounds a little tacky but it really wasn’t, it was far from it in fact! The Ocean really did have all the makings of a top hotel that catered for both Children and adults, what with it’s beautiful spa and restaurant, you could even hire games and DVDs from reception. Little man did love the lighting in the room, it was really calming and would actually be great in any sensory room. As you lay in the bath the lights above the bath would slowly change from one colour to the next, one minute you were bathing in a heavenly red tub, then the next you were soaking in a blue lagoon. Little man was so drawn by this feature that for once he was the first person in the tub (seriously I normally have to carry him and force him in the bath kicking and screaming, so this was a welcomed change). We also had the same mood lighting above the bed which looked extremely impressive. 

 There was loads to do, so much I only wished we had more time (well if the Little man wasn’t so challenging that is)! Sadly we didn’t get to go swimming and this did result in a few tears. Little man had in fact forgotten his trunks but a trip into town via a little train that ran along the sea front fixed that problem (the town is just a 10 minute walk from resort if you don’t fancy the little train) sadly by the time we arrived at the swimming baths known as ‘Splash Waterworld’ It was closing, I must admit I did expect it stay open a little later then it did. 

 There was still lots more to do and discover, Harley even enjoyed his second birthday on site with friends such as Barney and Baby Bop, Fireman Sam, Pingu and his all time favourite ‘Bob the builder’ Yes, it was a little tots idea of paradise. 

 The fact it was Christmas fantasy weekend made it all the more special! Children could meet Santa in his magical wonderland, get up close to real reindeers, have their pictures taken in an oversized snow globe and meet Bojorn the huge white mechanical Polar Bear. 

 There were shows throughout the day right through till the end of the evening. By day tiny tots could enjoy the puppet shows in the skyline and families could watch Panto together at centre stage. In the evening we enjoyed tribute acts such as Lady Gaga who was so good Little man couldn’t get over the fact it wasn’t actually her and all the children seemed to enjoy the Abba sing along and once it that was all over Little man and his sister had fun making the odd request to the DJ and getting her to wish their baby brother a very happy 2nd Birthday, which I thought was really sweet. If that was enough Centre Stage also has a pretty funky show shop where you can buy everything from bubble blasting guns, flashing necklaces, funky coloured wigs, fairy wings and glow bracelets (just checkout the photos below, as you can see my daughter was really feeling the dressing up vibe). 

 Saturday was the day of the Tots100 Christmas party, it was broken down into two sessions, which worked well for me because of the children. First you had a festive afternoon of mince pies, mulled wine and some fun festive activities and later in the evening it was drinks at a cocktail bar before heading of to Butlin’s newest restaurant Tuner’s a more finer dinning option. 

 The Christmas party was a bloggers only occasion which meant no Little one’s (Thank goodness, as I can’t imagine what my fellow bloggers would have made of the Little man’s mood). First it was planned that their father would accompany us to Butlins but he feel ill which meant I got to invite my very Lovely friend Donna to join us, who thankfully being such a close friend has experienced one or two of Little man’s worse meltdowns to date. Regardless, I was still worried that while gone they may somehow go to far maybe leave her hanging upside down from a Christmas tree or something! 

 Of course I was a tad late for the afternoon’s fun, Little man was practically hanging from my ankles begging me not to go and in no uncertain terms telling me how selfish I was for leaving, while Harley was so over tired he was throwing his own wobbler. Alice-Sara, my daughter however seemed quite relaxed in terms of she didn’t bat an eye lid as I left, just sat chilling in the kids den watching some children’s television show. Once there I was greeted by the lovely Sally Whittle writer of ‘Who’s the mummy‘ and the lovely lady behind the Mad blog awards, had planed the whole thing for us load of mummy bloggers. Sally is a woman who I owe a lot of thank you’s to, she really does some pretty special stuff and along with the Mad blog awards has now given me two great memories to grow old with. 

 Once inside I joined a team who had just started decorating a christmas tree, the challenge… to use your imagination and create a spectacularly decorated tree with the use of shop brought decorations alongside craft materials which would require us to think outside the box. Competing against four other teams we had just one hour and I’m pleased to say we won 🙂 even if the shoe blogger did pinch wrapped gifts from around another teams tree, to which Karen from all about the boys gave us all a good telling off for:)

 Before the evenings dinner it was back to the hotel for a few hours (in which I was pleased to discovered my friend was thankful still alive) before getting changed in to something a little more glam and heading back out again, while my friend took the children to see a show. 

 I first joined my fellow bloggers for one or two cocktails that I must add where scummy, then it was off to Tuners to eat. There were 36 of us in all, 35 mummy bloggers and one daddy blogger all taking up too long rows of tables, I got to sit with Lou from bloggomy who I got to meet for the first time at the Mad blog awards and it was lovely to catch up over a glass of white and a festive feast. 

 Tuners opened it’s doors in 2011 and is named after the famous chef Brain tuner who helped create the restaurant which is advertised as affordable fine dinning. The restaurant boast some top chefs such as Nigel Davis (formerly of the ivy) cooking its six course Christmas dinner. 

 I really did have an enjoyable evening though I really did feel a little sad at not being able to join some of the bloggers such as the lovely Romanian mum, who went on for drinks and dancing after the meal! Sadly with my children, I really did need to get back and save my friend from any meltdowns or sibling punch ups.

 All in all despite my stress and parenting dilemmas while at Butlin’s, I really am pleased I went and will definitely be going again…. Someday! 

Related articles

• Never Ever Again (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Preparing my child with Aspergers for our family festive break (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• We’re planning a break away (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)

NEVER EVER AGAIN

This is the post where I try to explain why I never want to take my child with Aspergers on holiday ever again.

 Most of you will know me as the mother who is first to state that, ‘Just because a child is on the autism spectrum, doesn’t mean they should not be given the opportunity to enjoy life’s pleasures such as day trips and holidays’ I stand by this, really I do!

 Now, I will try my best to put into words what I can only describe as one of the hardest, emotional draining and tiring, three days of my entire life.

 This past weekend saw me on the edge of a breakdown as myself, good friend Donna and three children (Little Man aka A boy with Aspergers, Alice-Sara & Harley) embanked on a mini weekend Christmas break at Butlin’s Bognor Regis.

 I had been extremely lucky to be invited to the tots100 Christmas party which meant an awesome deal on accommodation and presented me with the opportunity to also bring along the family. I will talk more about the Tots100 Christmas party and Butlin’s itself in another post, right now I need to get this out my system!

 It’s never easy taking Little man on days out and its even harder trying to embark on any type of Holiday no matter how short or long it maybe. The change and the anxiety mixed with the unknown often brings about havoc, and if you have ever read any of my post relating to such event’s you will already know this (remember the camping trip or even the day trip to Chessington)? 

 Nonetheless, when stating like many do “Never again” I somehow never really mean it and with passing time I find myself trying to do it all over again! Why? Because his my son and I don’t want to leave him behind!

 Despite things starting reasonably well (his delight over the funky hotel lighting which was a sensory pleasure was most welcome) things soon turned sour and within an hour or so all hell had broke loose.

 OK, Ok, I half expected this! After all we have just arrived, everything is different and a mix of both anxiety and excitement fills the air. 

 After a soak in the bath, just before heading to bed he started to argue with his sister. I know arguments between siblings are the norm with most children, but these really are over the top, Little man becomes far to angry and loses his temper rapidly. Worse still his now able to throw an almighty punch. On trying to break up yet another blow up that had become somewhat out of hand, Little man thought he would also hit out at me, not only punching but kicking me too. His not a baby anymore and his growing which I guess kind of worries me if I think about it!

 No, this isn’t good, I don’t show him that I’m frighten of him, I’m actually not, I’m just worried that one day he will go that bit too far!

I don’t like having to restrain my own son but it did have to be done before he hurt himself or somebody else, it was then he spat in my face and then laughed inappropriately. 

 The fact that his violence stopped and I thought we were over this hurdle makes this so much harder.

 After lots of tears Little man finally slept and I convinced myself that as the days went on things would get better, however they didn’t and despite trying to structure all the activities his need to control everything and everyone around him was just too much. Yes, I know things are hard for him, but there were stages of that holiday that I felt like running away especially when he carried on hitting out at me leading me to seek first aid for what was a suspected broken finger (I had pointed at him and he had hurt my fingers so bad I had no choice but to get them strapped up). This was the last day and in all honesty I was so thankful it was. By now I had cried till my eyes were sore and seriously felt like smacking my own head repetitively against the wall. 

 Harley also spent the best part of his second birthday amongst meltdowns and my pleads for a little respect and if anything a five-minute break. I know many people will think, “It’s hard for him too” Believe me I know that, of course I do! I didn’t care about the disapproving stares as Little man hauled abuse at me, I did however feel terrible for the children stood in ear shoot of his language. There was even one episode that resulted in me having to leg it out of a local fish restaurant leaving my poor friend with three kids, one who wasn’t in the friendliest of moods. 

I sat on a bench looking at the sea and really felt like I couldn’t return and carry on with this job called “Parenting”. I left a message on my Facebook page which read, “I don’t think I can cope with Little man’s behaviour anymore” and at that moment in time, I really did feel this way.

 My friend said something to me as we sat talking in the hotel once the children were finally sleeping, she said “I can honestly say I have never seen Little man 100% happy unless his indoors” I thought about this and realised just how right my friend was.

 Once we did finally return home, a lot later than expected following unexpected car trouble (the word unexpected is not one little man favourites) I noticed how his mood calmed! Yes, he fights with his sister in the comfort of our home and yes he can still be abusive, but as I sat watching him cuddling his younger sister watching the end of Eastenders (yes, cuddling, the cheek of them, I know) I realised that in-order to parent and parent Little man well, It needs to be at home (well, at home meaning not on holiday)! I’m not stating I’m NEVER TAKING HIM ON HOLIDAY AGAIN! Though I did state this more than 1000 times during the course of the weekend, I’m just stating that for now, and in-till there are clear signs of improvement in this type of challenging behaviour and yes, my ways in coping and dealing with it, I will not be booking any family holidays in the near future… and that my friends is a ‘FACT’!

Related articles

• Preparing my child with Aspergers for our family festive break (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• We’re planning a break away (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• “Mum, your christmas presents belong in the trash!” (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)

We’re planning a break away

Image via Wikipedia

I recently got invited to the Tots100 Christmas party for bloggers on the 10 th December which will be held at Butlins Bognor Regis during the Christmas Fantasy weekend and I can’t wait to see some of my fellow blogging friends again.

As we have been offered discounted hotel accommodation I’ve decided to make a weekend of it and the children will be accompanying me to Butlins, much to their delight.

It will be an extra special weekend as my youngest Harley will be 2 years old on the 11 th of December so he will be spending his Birthday at Butlins amongst some of his favourite people, Bob the builder being one of them (his one time true hero… His Bob bonkers).

 

 We will be doing lots of planning prior to the weekend because of course the Little man himself will be joining us. His quite excited about staying in a hotel, bless him but we will still need to ensure his fully prepared for the event of leaving home for the weekend.

I feel confident that all three children will have a great time. We have taken Little man and his sister to Butlins before, of course this was before Harley came along. He loved all the structured activities and he adored all the exciting shows over at the centre stage. Nonetheless I will still do everything to ensure all goes smoothly and this includes the choice of travel to the holiday site.

I find this is where issues arise. Little man is a massive fan of transport and his adamant that we take a coach, where I’d rather we jumped on the train, a coach will take double the time and it could spark some boredom within him and the last thing we need is a couple of rowing siblings, and that’s what tends to happen when Little man and his sister become bored.

Another thing I will need to consider carefully is the sleeping arrangements. Little man may not do well sleeping in a strange room, we have only just got him sleeping in his own room, which is a whole other post. Plus the prospect of him sharing with his sister may be a little too much to expect.

We are quite lucky some children with Asperger’s cannot cope one bit when it comes to day trips or weekends away, Little man can get a little anxious at what to expect but tends to adjust well, especially when in the company of family

 There is one thing I can promise the Little man wont be doing while at Butlins… Visiting Santa! Hell no, Little man has the tendency to ask the man with the white beard

how much he gets paid for humouring small children!

He doesn’t believe in Santa one Little bit!

 December looks set to be an awesome month for the children, what with Harley’s 2nd Birthday, a trip to Butlins and Christmas there will be lots of excitement in my house that’s for such.

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