The Big Fat Autism Myths

Still today we are surrounded by countless myths concerning Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. Yes, we’ve come far to raise awareness for autism and the fact its a spectrum condition but still many struggle to except that some things are myth as opposed to fact.

Here’s some great examples…

Those on the autism spectrum have late language development!

Now although to some extent this is true, its not always the case especially in those at the higher end of the spectrum (Aspergers). Little man actually said his first word at 5 months and was able to speak very well by the age of 12 months.

Children on the autism spectrum make low academic progress because of learning difficulties.

Again this maybe the case for some children, mainly those at the lower end of the spectrum. However, some children on the spectrum have no learning difficulties whatsoever with some actually having higher IQ levels than those of their peers.

All children on the autism spectrum cannot attend mainstream schooling.

Admittedly mainstream school admitted that they could no longer meet little man’s needs and he eventually gained a place at an autism special school. This was despite him being on the higher end of the autism spectrum with an Aspergers diagnosis and a high IQ. Like many children with Aspergers he struggled with the more social side of school and suffered terrible anxiety. The truth is children with autism can receive a mainstream education… It just depends on the child and school in questions.

People on the autism spectrum don’t have feelings.

This is a big fat myth! If anything Little man feels to much and its these feelings of love and worry that cause him to become anxious. For little man its just harder for him to express those feelings… I know they are there and that’s a huge difference.

People on the autism spectrum don’t have an imagination.

Again this is a big fat fib. Little man finds it difficult to play imaginary games as he likes to base things on fact. He also likes to have a visual reference. However little man uses his imagination in other ways and is extremely clever at creating ideas when relating to something of interest.

All people with autism hate loud noise.

This is all down to the senses and regardless of autism we all have our own level of tolerance. Yes, many people with autism have heighten senses and this can make loud noise very uncomfortable (often to the point it becomes physically painful). However as well as children with autism experiencing sensory sensitivity, some are actually sensory seekers and will therefore seek out some type of loud noise.

All children who like Thomas the tank engine are autistic!

What can I say… Total Bull S#%# Yes little man liked Thomas the tank engine and statistics indicate that many children on the autism spectrum have a liking for Thomas at some point, however lots of children love Thomas and not all are autistic… That’s just crap.

All people with Autism are the same. If one person with autism experiences a certain difficulty then so will another.

Rubbish! This is why we call it a spectrum. Plus no two people are the same, we all have our own traits with and without autism. Yes there are a certain collection of traits that make up an autism diagnosis but this is a limited number.

All people with autism are Savants.

As lovely a myth as this is, it is just that… A myth! We all have things we are good at but only some of us have what it takes to be considered as Gifted which is the same for those on the autism spectrum. Many people with autism have things they are extremely good at (like little mans ability to memorise travel information) but rainman he isn’t and this is often the case for many.

Autism can be cured!

Most know how I feel about this myth. Autism is a life long diagnosis… There isn’t a cure. However, with the right education and learnt social skills things can be made less difficult for those on the spectrum.

Autism is caused by the MMR

Many will argue with me that this is not a myth. However I do believe it to be just that. You are born with autism, you do not develop it at some stage of your life. You don’t suddenly become autistic. And you don’t become autistic because of a childhood immunisation!

People with Autism are good a math.

Admittedly, little man is excellent at Math, but I do know other children on the autism spectrum who struggle with math and therefore find it their most difficult subject at school.

Children with autism can’t grow up to lead independent adult lives.

Many people on the autism spectrum, especially those on the higher end of the spectrum go on to have fully independent adult lives. This includes having a job, home and family of their own!

A Fun Family Day With Thomas The Tank Engine

As a blogger I’m lucky to find some really exciting invitations in my inbox of a morning and recently I received one of these from HiT entertainment.

This was an invite for myself and the children to visit Drayton Manor Park home to Thomas Land. We would be reviewing the parks many attractions as well as watching a special screening of the brand new film Thomas and friends – Blue Mountain Mystery at the parks 4D cinema.

Alice-Sara was out for the day so myself and a friend took the 2 boys along. Little man had a big interest in Thomas the Tank engine from the time he could walk. His Thomas obsession was one of the many factors that helped CAMHS diagnosis him with Aspergers Syndrome, So, Yes, it was pretty intense. His now into transport as a whole but still won’t say no to a bit of Thomas if Tiny Tot is watching it! Little man collected everything Thomas the Tank Engine when he was younger. He has loads of the train sets (that are packed away and kept out of his siblings reach). It’s a shame as Little Harley who is 3 in December is now a huge Thomas fan and would love to sit playing with these!

Drayton Manor is a fair distance from where we live in South East London, in fact it took over three hours to reach the park by car. Nonetheless I felt that it was worth attending as the boys would absolutely love it! They were dead excited when we left bright and early on a Tuesday morning. Harley especially who was kitted out in his Thomas gear.

Two service stations, some sing songs and one minor meltdown later, we finally pulled into Drayton Manor Park some 3 and a half hours after first setting off.

The car park is massive and given this was the 4th of September, many children had just gone back to school resulting in us grabbing a great parking space quite close to the parks main entrance.

I decided not to take Harley’s buggy as I was guessing he’d be to excited to sit in it! I was right, Harley loved it at Drayton Manor and spent very little time sitting with the exception of the cinema and the rides.

As many know Little man 11 has Aspergers Syndrome and Special needs. He was entitled to a ride access band and this was collected from the guest services. I’ve written an additional review that looks at the parks facilities for those with a disability or special needs (particularly an autism spectrum condition) and this will feature on the blog following this one.

Next stop was Thomas Land. Now we only had a quick peek as we needed to head on over to the cinema and as we had little man with us, as to avoid any anxiety we decided to go over a bit earlier than needed so to avoid any queues. Lucky the screening was closed to the public so it was ourselves and a small number of other families who had been invited to review the film. This was perfect as it meant little man remained rather calm avoiding any meltdowns.

We were given some popcorn and bottled water and headed inside. HiT had organised for a few of its fabulous PR team to demonstrate some of its newest toy releases in connection with the movie. My Harley’s eyes lit up like beaming flashlights as soon as he entered the room. There was some great games and play sets on show. Harley went right for the Mega Blocks – Blue Mountain Quarry (which I’m going to have to buy him for his birthday as he keeps request to play with it)!

Little man coped well with all the people and sat in the corner playing with his brother Harley with a great remote control Thomas.

The film was being shown in 4D and we were pretty excited (even me at 30 years old was itching to get in there)! We were called for the screening by no other than the ‘Fat controller’ himself and inside we were shown to our fantastic seats.

The film was brilliant, it ran for an hour which was long enough for a toddler. The storyline was good and easy to follow, even for the youngest of audiences.

In Thomas’ latest adventure, the Fat Controller sends Thomas to work at the blue mountain Quarry where Thomas spots an engine he’s never seen before trying to hide. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery Thomas tracks down befriends Luke who tells Thomas he’s hiding because he did something so bad he could be sent away from the island of Sodor forever! Thomas does not believe this and set off on a journey to discover the story of this poor runaway engine. On the way he learns of engines bought to sodor from faraway lands and an accident in Brendam Docks where and engine fell into the sea. But only when he’s learnt every piece of the story can Thomas convince his new friend that there’s no reason to hide.

The 4D effects were perfect for the smaller children. Every so often the chairs would move! There was also bubbles when the lights come on and fake snow that gathered on the stage as the lights went down.

After enjoying the movie we then went off to enjoy the rest of the parks many attractions, in particular Thomas land. This was the perfect place for a Thomas fan, it truly is one-of-a-kind, a real Thomas paradise!

Thomas Land boasts 12 wonderful themed rides, a spectacular indoor play area and a shop filled with fantastic Thomas & Friends merchandise.

We went on almost every ride at Thomas land, we even did the Troublesome Trucks Coaster – a 220 metre roller coaster that runs up and over Thomas Land… Ok it’s nothing major for me, I’ve been on some massive beasts but for the 2 year old… I was surprised. It does go really fast and has some pretty sharp turns! I really thought he wouldn’t meet the height restriction, but he did and given he was jumping up and down with excitement, we went for it and yes, he loved it!

Little man also had a fabulous time he really wanted to ride the Ben10 roller-coaster, only he got a little anxious and changed his mind. In order to cheer him up I got him a large hotdog and we chilled by the parks stunning lake and fed the ducks before finally checking out some of the shops such as the Thomas gift shop and the fabulous cartoon network store.

Not that we needed anything! HiT had provide both of the boys with a Thomas goody bag following the film and Oh my… what a lovely goody bag it was!

The kids had an awesome time at Drayton Manor Park – Thomas Land. They also enjoyed the 4D movie Thomas and Friends – Blue Mountain Mystery which is now out on DVD for all to enjoy.

During our long drive home, there was silence… Yep, within 10 minutes of getting in the car both boys were fast asleep.

Thanks HiT the boys had an amazing day at Drayton Manor Park.

Checkout our Video of the day.

Thomas and Friends – Rescue on the Rails

Thomas the tank engine is a firm favourite in our house. Actually its been so for as long as I can remember, what with the little man loving Thomas all through his toddlerhood and beyond, and now his little brother Harley loves it just as much!

We agreed to do a review of the latest Thomas DVD release and share our opinion with all you Thomas the tank engine fans.

The newest release “Thomas and Friends – Rescue on the rails” hits the shelves of all good retailers today (Monday 21st May 2012)

It makes great viewing for any Thomas the Tank Engine fan, with four new episodes and lots of heroic adventures and edge of your seat entertainment.

The DVD sees the Sodor search and rescue team on one of its biggest missions as they race to help Bertie who’s stuck on Shake Bridge. Gordon one of Harley’s favourite engines needs help as his derailed and poor old Thomas’ firebox catches on fire.

All the engines brave the rails to save their friends in this heroic new DVD that does well to teach children teamwork.

As expected, Harley loved it and spent lots of time dashing in and out of the kitchen excitedly, shouting “look mummy look” Yes, I didn’t get much washing up done at all and decided it would be easier to give in a watch it with the little guy.

Here he is working the Thomas trend

Yes, the Thomas hat is now far to small, will he give it up? hell no!

Thomas and Friends – Rescue on the Rails has a RRP of £12.99
Check it out on Amazon who currently have it for an awesome price.

This is a review post, opinions are my own. We was not paid to write this review but did receive a sample pre-release copy in-order to share our thoughts and write this review.

Questioning your coping mechanisms

Image by rosefirerising via Flickr

Some days are great and others… not so great… yesterday was one of the latter!

Unfortunately a family row commenced at home yesterday (something I wont go into on the blog) however I do believe that as a result of this, a series of high-profile challenging behaviour was demonstrated by my little man. In all honesty, the behaviour was off the scale and I really did struggle to maintain sanity!

I do understand that arguments should not break out in front of children, especially those on the autism spectrum, already easily tipped into an overly anxious state of being, but I’m human and there are times certain situations commence, especially when you find half the arguments are caused by something or another your child on the spectrum may have done or said, worse the person who is arguing with you just can’t leave it a lone, refusing to stop!

I thought it would properly be a good idea to take the children to my mothers, we could see my mum and chill for a bit! Little man could spend some time playing the PS3 with my sister’s boyfriend and all should convert to something far merrier! My plan was going ever so well, though as the evening approached, little man began getting worse and worse… before I knew it, he was throwing a load of nasty swear words at me, why proceeding to kick, punch and lastly spit at me.

God I felt like running away and staying away! When your child has a tendency to throw a load of offensive nasties in your face, you tend to get used to it (in a wrong kind of way) though sometimes such obscenities hurt a thousand times more than any violence… and this time his awful name calling was becoming much to hard to bare. Little man finished his almighty meltdown with a hard punch in my arm and a thump in his sisters back, all while his little brother of two sat screaming! It was at this moment I actually thought… Maybe it would be better if his not here any more, maybe he should live some place else!

I felt such a mix of overbearing emotions as I tortured myself over the thought that had entered my head! I felt assumed and heartbroken how I could even think such a thing! Yet.. at that time as he stood showing no remorse for his actions and I watched how he continued to lash out at his sister, I know I couldn’t help it, I just couldn’t! Every time I stood trying so hard to reason with him, he’ll just laugh and swear! I seriously felt complete despair, lost on where we go from here! I just felt like going to bed forever!

Day’s like this, I wonder what happened to my Little red-haired boy? Though he was always noticeably different, he would sit watching his favourite Thomas video or sit happily playing (even if it was mainly alone… he seemed happy, that’s what counted)! Not anymore! I just see an angry child, who gets anxious, depressed, violent, and often acts in quite an evil and scary manner!

As my Little man grows into someone who actually doesn’t resemble that of a little man at all, I fear for him, I fear for us as a family! At 11 he is reaching the stages of puberty and with it I notice so much more anger, the ability to care less about the people who get hurt in the cross fire. I therefore question my ability to control such behaviour, longing for an answer! As the little man grows bigger, stronger and sadly more violent, I worry he will hurt himself, me or his siblings! Though there is one thing that I fear that little bit more…. Asking for help!

Related articles

• Christmas Meltdowns, Supermarket Style (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorders (everydayhealth.com)
• The day my boy got his smile back. (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Meltdowns (robertmoran.org)

As easy as child’s play

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Play, A god given right for all children!

 Its importance is critical to the development of every child regardless of, Class, age, race, gender or ability!

 With every game of peek a boo, every story told and building block added to a carefully constructed tower, your child learns something new & exciting.

 A child may not speak or be able to hear, he may not walk, they may be even confined to a wheelchair, nonetheless this doesn’t mean the child will benefit from play any-less, regardless of a child’s disability, they should be encouraged in play, and will enjoy it like any other child.

 As a mother to three children, I really love playing and interacting with my children, whether its make-believe, a board game or something else all together! Though yes, I do admit it’s not always easy to find the time, yet its something I consider important so try to make it a priority (something we engage in a few times a week minimum).

 As most regular readers will know, my eldest son has Aspergers syndrome which forms part of the autism spectrum. At almost 11 years old, Little man was my first-born, when I was at the tender age of 18. I noticed pretty early on in little mans life that his play style was somewhat different from what I considered to be typical play for a child his age.

 My daughter didn’t come into our lives for a further two and a bit years, meaning I had plenty of one on one time with my developing baby. Games such as Peek a Boo or sing alongs didn’t give of that WOW factor for Little man, instead they sent him into a howling frenzy. 

 Regardless of the above I persisted in my quest, a road of discovery, encouraging my child to engage in interactive play. I knew he got enjoyment from playing alone, I didn’t discourage, though I didn’t reframe from interactive play either! I’m convinced this has been of some benefit to my child now his older. 

 Play helps feed a child’s imagination helping it grow, it allows a child to use creativity while helping them to connect to their surroundings and adapt play to their environment. I believe that play can help a child learn certain roles and requirements while aiding the development of dexterity, physical, cognitive strength.

When your child is on the autism spectrum, play may not be what you typically expect it to be!

 Yes, I learnt the hard way, don’t we all? 

 I learnt that my child didn’t actually require all the latest toys that the boy next door was playing with. My expectations both before and after Little man was born were unrealistic, I had naively assumed that all children played the same way! Play was play, nothing more, nothing less, It all amounted to the same thing! God I had a shock awaiting me and a hell of a lot to learn.

I had no intention on lying to my friends and family when I announced that Little man loved Bob the builder only to end up with a house full of Bob merchandise come Christmas! In some respects I think I half convinced myself it was the case, well he had at least glanced in the direction of the tool kit I had brought him!  It wasn’t just Bob the builder, I was a mother moving with the times & quite honestly the latest craze that I quite often learnt about from the gloating neighbour who would quite often proudly inform me about the latest Spiderman bike her son was now whizzing around on! The next week Little man would have that very same bike, though it remained in the cupboard by the front door only ever seeing the light of day once, twice if you include the day I awkwardly tried to get it home on the bus. This was one of hundreds of toys that were both a waste of time and yes money!

 Looking back as I write this I get a glimpse of how bloody crazy I was! Yes, total denial sweep through me.

 It was only once I had taken a few steps back and observed the situation that both myself and especially little man began to benefit.

 I note… No, Little man did not like playing with Cars (though he quite does today) he did however love spinning the wheels over and over again! I decided that actually that was OK.

 I note… No, Little man did not love Bob the builder (though I only wish I had kept all that merchandise as my youngest is Bob gaga) though he did love Thomas the tank. I decided again, that was fine!

  I discovered that between the ages of 2 and 7 Little man only ever really played with train sets and transport mats despite his bedroom now looking like the Disney store!

 Finally I excepted this!

 I stopped focusing on that Little boy next door, therefore letting go of that, “My child should be playing with that toy” scenario! I focused on the Little man instead and what I saw was no longer what I felt I needed to see through my own stereotypical rigidness, I now saw Little man for the child he actually was! I successfully learnt my first very valuable lesson about play! 

 “Play is unique there is no right or wrong way of doing it”! 

 By stepping into Little man’s world while taking small steps to engage with him in this child lead play I noticed he slowly became more interactive, wanting me to take an interest in his games. 

 Yes, all along I just needed to go with the flow (so to speak) I needed to embrace and celebrate his interest, a massive milestone

 Oh, and did I mention that big credit should be given to my wonderful daughter? Siblings can actually be a massive source of learning  for the child on the spectrum, Alice-Sara certainly was!

 Alice-Sara was that child who played like I also assumed all children did! She played the way I always expected the Little guy would!

 Through sheer willingness and determination his younger sibling did something wonderful without really knowing it! She introduced her older brother to role-play! She taught him the value of this type of play and helped him develop the tools needed to engage in it!

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 It is this aspect of play that I firmly believe is the true instrument needed for a child with Aspergers to progress.

 I don’t know if Alice-Sara just longed for this type of interactive play from her older brother, but as a small child she fought to get it, and she did!

 OK, it isn’t perfect, as much as he is able to engage in such play it is still largely ritualistic and he can become overly controlling often using his younger sibling as a play object, yet his come a long way!

 However ritualistic and Un-spontaneous his play maybe, his sister has successfully taught him how to play schools (a game he still plays today, though it always involves a school “bus”) he also loves playing shop keepers and hospitals (if his the ambulance driver of course)! 

This variety of play offers so much to the child on the spectrum. The child will learn important social interaction skills, and a number of other important life skills they will acquire in life. 

 I’ve seen my Little man go from the child who really did prefer the box as opposed to the toy that came in it at Christmas (mainly due to what I was giving him) to a child who now enjoys play so much more and through he still does it alone, he is much more willing to play with his peers even if they don’t always oblige to him joining in. 

 Yes, he still has them “odd” items on his Birthday and Christmas wish list; Batteries padlocks, neon electric fly zapping lights; and 20 cans of DR pepper to name a few; yet he also loves, computers, lego, model buses and trains, bikes, scooters, board games and magic tricks. 

 Recently I saw a worrying statement 

“As easy as child’s play don’t apply to children with autism”

 “That is bum fluff!”

 “Just because it isn’t typical doesn’t mean it isn’t magical!” 

I learnt that the hard way, I hope you don’t!

You know your a parent to a child with Aspergers when….

Now I know that every child on the spectrum is different and no two children are the same! But I’m guessing there are a good few parents/carers that can relate to one or two of these….

… You know you’re a parent to a child with Aspergers when…

….You’ve watched Thomas the tank engine more times then you’ve watched Eastenders (You love Eastenders!)

You spend more time at your child’s school, then what you ever did your own school!

You know your child’s entire school teaching team on a first name basis and see them more then your own personal friends!

You begin to organise your own day, with the help of visual aids.

You laugh so hard your sides hurt & your eyes water.

Educational Jargon is no longer Jargon, but a second language!!!

You are taken for the ride of your life… A long the 450 bus route!

Who needs a husband, You’ve already got one!

Your idea of an early night is 3am.

The shop assistant thinks you’re the local crazy woman, who strokes and feels up all the clothing in the children’s department.

You can ask your child for their honest opinion… “Does mummy look fat in this dress?” And be given an honest answer! 😦

You find that slowly over time your ten-year old has converted you into an all time classic ‘bus spotter’ I’m stood like a tourist in the coldest of weather trying to gain the prefect shoot of a 194 bus. Just to keep your little man happy!)

Your child beats you hands down on a maths quiz…. Every single time!!!!

Yes, you find it’s them helping you with their homework!

Your addicted to over the counter painkillers, and yet for some reason you still have a headache!

The morning cup of tea is replaced with three shots of espresso, followed by a couple of Redbulls (I’m yet to grow them wings it’s talking about)

Coffee no longer=social chit-chat, but gives you the super mummy powers needed to to go on!

Your smart, but…Your child’s just that little bit smarter!

Your verbally bashed on a daily basis, yet you don’t love them any less.

“Mum’s got eyes in the back of her head” is a metaphor your never, ever going to use again….. Ever!

You find that over time you’ve become a natural at not giving a S**t what people think.

Fighting is no longer something you associate with boxing!

You wish for the ground to swallow you whole, when your child states the health benefits of losing weight to the slightly chubby checkout girl in Tesco.

Your face glows red when a passer-by slips and falls on the snow, and your child stands pointing, laughing and shouting, “Look they fell over… that is so funny mum” (They clearly don’t think so)

Your woken at 3 am because your ten-year old is feeling peckish… Yer right!

Tantrums are a little different from those you read about in the parenting books

Claire’s room station … Is in-fact Claire’s bloody bedroom… Beep- Beep- Beep… OUT!!!!

And lastly……

….. You live and breath your child’s condition, longing for them to be understood,accepted and appreciated for the truly wonderful child that they are….

…. The child you love just the way they are!!