Tag Archives: The Mads Awards 2011

This mum made front page news

10 Jun

Early Tuesday morning I’m awoken by an excited Little man.

Oh, yes he knows what day it is… his been counting the days since Friday.

We walked into our local newsagents a little after 6:30 am. Little man darted over to the newspaper stand knocking over several boxes of unpacked crisp and a shop assistant filling the fridge. He was causing complete chaos at this very early hour!

“Mum, mum look, we are on the front page!”

The little guy was right! There on the front page of the local rag was a picture of myself and the Little man.

In big bold letters the headline read…

“All about a boy… Blogging mum up for award”

 full story on page 31

The man stood behind the counter gave me a smile and a wink as Little man placed his 50p on the counter. He stood tall and proud in the hope he was recognised!

“That’s a handsome young fella in the paper! Hang on a minute, he looks familiar”
 The shopkeeper joked!

Little man shouted so loud it’s likely he damaged the poor guy’s ear drum when replying, “That’s me with mum… can’t you see?”

“Oh yes… So it is”

Little man was displaying a huge grin, obviously enjoying his five minutes of fame!

The shopkeeper, a lovely elderly gentleman that I’ve known for some years, went on to say in a chirpy tone, “Well, as it’s you on the front cover… the papers on me today!”

Little man stood thinking, overcome with confusion. Completely baffled by the man’s comments he asked, “What do you mean? The newspaper isn’t on you… It’s on the counter!” He was shaking his head as to imply the shopkeeper was a tad stupid for making such a ridicules comment!

Now, let’s not forget that this is a little boy with Aspergers, who has a tendency to take things rather literally! So, I explained just what the shopkeeper had meant to which he politely thanked him for his generosity by stating he was ‘Safe’ (he has a mind like a sponge) before making his swift exit.

Little man had more excitement to come. The article in the ‘South London Press‘ was one of two Newspapers we would be featured in that week.

The Second paper, ‘The Newshopper’ was released the following day. Both papers were running the story about a Lewisham mother of three, who had made it to the finals of the ‘Mad blog awards’, a national blogging competition showcasing some of the best British blogs written by parents. Of course that ‘mother’ was me *smiling gracefully* 

No, I won’t deny it! When I was sent the press release to edit and forward as I pleased, I didn’t expect much to come of it!

This blog is simply a documentation of our life alongside my own thoughts and opinions. As crazy as our life may seem to others, it’s a life that many parents of a child with autism will possibly  relate too as the norm

You just don’t expect your blog to end up in the newspapers! Then again, you don’t expect to your blog to be in the running for a national award (especially in two categories)

I will often write a post and once complete I read it back and think to myself, “Seriously who wants to read this stuff?”

Gosh, I love how this blog has changed me. Its helped me to discover a lot about myself! If you had asked me three or so years back, “Do I enjoy writing?” My reply would have likely been… No! Seriously…  My English teacher would have a heart attack if she read this. Ok my grammar isn’t top notch (sorry miss, I try) Yet I’ve discovered that putting down my feelings for the world to read is somewhat therapeutic! I’m expressing myself in a whole new way… And enjoying it!  Ask me now if I love to write and my answer would be a whole lot different. Now that is something I never saw coming… Ever!

I’ve written this blog while in an array of psychological mind sets. There’s been tears (to many), laughter, sadness, anger, joy, exhaustion and excitement!
Since becoming a finalist I’ve been lucky enough to encounter some awesome opportunities… Did I mention that I’m currently writing a piece for this months SEN magazine? *cheeky giggle*

With every congratulations whether it’s from the press, a friend, family member or fellow parent to a child with autism, I feel a great sense of achievement that this mum who is no means a super mum, has managed to get her voice heard when raising an issue that is not only close to her heart, but one that is also enormously important!

This is more then a blog award competition (don’t get me wrong, winning would be oh-so-fabulous & your votes are most welcome) What I’m trying to empathise is that although autism and aspergers has come a long way with the help of the media, there is still so much to say! All over the world children are being failed through not having their educational needs met, where adults are left unemployed… regardless of their skills.

I thank the ‘Mad blog awards’ for bringing about a powerful way to get heard while having a great amount of fun in the process! As for you guys… Thank you for getting me here by nominating the blog… All you need to do now is vote (cheeky)!!

To vote the blog, ‘A boy with Asperger’s’ as your most inspiring/inspirational mad blog 2011, visit the Mad voting page: Here

The article in the, ‘South London Press’ can be found: Here

The, ‘Newshopper’s’ article can be found: Here 


I’ve finally gone Mad & proud of it

21 May

Stop it, I know I’m not the full ticket, but that’s not here nor there!

This really isn’t about putting the milk in the washing machine nor falling asleep while stood at the kitchen sink attempting the washing up! This is a different kinda ‘Mad’ altogether!


Do you remember around a month or so ago, when I wrote my shameless, ‘SOS’, post that mostly consisted of a load of begging and up-front pleading form me? Well, I’m here to deliver my second dose of classy begging as last time your kindness resulted in me reaching the finals! Yes, I’ll repeat that incase you missed it! “I’VE MADE IT TO THE FINAL!” and the final I’m referring to that of the, ‘Mad blog awards 2011‘, in which I’m shortlisted in the category, ‘Most Inspiring Mad blogger‘, sponsored by ‘Mothecare’. I’m really chuffed to be shortlisted alongside such talent.

But hang on in there tiger! That’s not it! Hell yer there’s more! I also made it onto the shortlist for the ‘ Mad Blogger Of The Year 2011’ sponsored by the fabulous ‘Parentdish‘ this sees me placed alongside five other very talented parent bloggers, who have some fantastic blogs! This category is not decided by the public but instead a judging panel.

Wow! I have to say that I feel truly honoured and thank everyone who put me there in both categories. You’ve helped me achieve this big fat cheesy smile that’s currently spread across my chops. Gosh it’s gonna take a hell of a lot to burst this mummy’s bubble. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited about anything which is why I’m holding onto this feeling with both hands.

Well, given that it worked last time it only seems logical to do it again, “begging that is” which is pretty much made up of…

“PLEASE, PLEASE, LOOK I’M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES!” or “PLEASE VOTE FOR ME, I’LL LOVE YOU ALL FOREVER AND EVER!”

On a more serious note (though the above was no joke), I would like to state that what really touched me is the fact my readers took them two minutes or so out their day to vote for little old me! I really mean it when I say you guys are totally ace.

I remember when I first embanked on my blogging journey, becoming part of the mummy blogging gang. Of course I didn’t see myself as part of anything at that time, I purely found comfort in writing down my thoughts, fears and hopes. In all honesty I never really considered it being of interest to anyone but me! After all, Who want’s to know? Then you get that very first comment! I remember mine clearly, a fellow mother who had a child & hubby on the autism spectrum! She reached out and without actually knowing so, she reassured me, “I wasn’t alone & showed me that,Yes people were interested in the blog”

As for the diagnosis, its like a roller-coaster of emotions! You don’t only learn a lot about yourself but those around you. Some become closer but some of the closest disappear.

There was a point at the time of diagnosis and that leading up to it, when Little man would not attend school (full on school refusal). This wasn’t dealt with by offering some form of support, but instead by taking me to court. It’s ironic really given my son has been school-less for the past 7 months due to mainstream no longer meeting his needs & no other school willing to take him on. The school attendance officer had written in a formal letter to our CAMH’S practitioner,“I can’t see why she would cry! Her son has a cousin with autism” This was in response to a letter the practitioner had written informing her that he considered it likely that Little man was on the autism spectrum possibly with Aspergers syndrome (which he went on to be formal diagnosed with just over a year later) He wanted the school attendance officer to know this alongside my reaction to the news, stating that they should reconsider court action, instead offering support wherever needed. Her comment was a great example of ignorance in its boldest form, sadly there was plenty more to come.

What I’m trying to get across to you all is that this blog came about in one off our darkest hours! Amazingly though its now become a real positive platform that also opened so many doors, one being to the wider community of mummy bloggers (with or without children on the spectrum).

Although a large number of us have faced some laborious situations, hurdles with a string of challenges to over come, and those constant battles to obtain the basics, such basics that without your child having ever received a diagnosis you would properly never have believed such necessities could be restricted from any child’s reach. You find out what really lies behind the school gates, you sit in the head-teachers office at your child’s school more often then you did your own when you were a child. Nonetheless I hope this blog shows that no matter how hard things become, you do get through it, and do so that bit wiser, stronger and if anything more determined.

What started as just my own personal diary changed over time. Although I still blog about the day-to-day life of parenting three children, one with Aspergers, I wanted to be sure to share anything of use, hear what others had to say and offer support where possible. It became my aim to reach out to parents of diagnosed children, especially those of newly diagnosed children as I was quite aware of that feeling of isolation that nearly always accompanies a diagnosis of autism. I also wanted to connect with those on the spectrum, and anyone else willing to listen. Importantly I wanted to try and remove some of the stereotype views & stigma surrounding autism & aspergers, that often lies with those who don’t have the privilege of knowing someone on the spectrum.

I want my writing to empowered other parents to speak out or to simply see that a diagnosis of autism doesn’t have to be a bad thing (after all that diagnosis entitles your child to services that were previously beyond their reach) If my story has helped just the one family, that’s an achievement itself.

Someone once told me “To beg is not classy” Now when did you ever hear me say I was classy? I’ve thrown all caution to the wind by deciding to get fully involved in the awards, “which I must add are totally amazing” If this involves getting down and dirty with the self-promotion then so be it! After all I’m proud of my little space and if sharing it makes it that bit bolder. That can only be a good thing.

So please If you fancy making this mummy’s day then please visit, ‘The Mad blog Awards 2011’ and Vote 4 me Aka, ‘A boy with Asperger’s as the ‘Most Inspiring Mad Blogger’


Lots of love Claire


Blink and I’ll sleep for a week!

18 Apr

Life right now is nothing short of manic. There’s simply no other word to describe it!

April has been one incredibly overwhelming month and we are just past the half-way mark.

I feel I’ve been put through my paces and had every emotion in my body put to the test. Some days I’ve been in fighting mode, others I’ve been so exhausted I’ve just wanted to crawl into my bed, hide away from the world while indulging in some longed for sleep. 

With each passing day I’m one step closer to hearing my little man’s fate, and no matter how much I try to prepare myself, I somehow feel that we’re hanging from a cliff top ready to drop!

Little man currently has no school placement for the whole of our borough and those that boarder us have taken one look at my sons papers & decided that they don’t have a placement available or lack the resources needed in-order to meet his level of need. 

Each day his left without a school is one day closer to him never going back! This shameful situation has ultimately made him regress, causing his social skills to decrease, and his dislike towards school to heighten. My ten year old son is now so anxious at the prospect that he will one day be expected to step foot in side a school along side other children that he will now require a tremendous amount of support when that day comes!

Whoever said that children on the higher end of the autism spectrum, have less complex needs were delusional! 

Just because my son has a reasonably good vocabulary and met most of his milestones doesn’t make his needs any less complex. However I don’t need to go into that, I don’t have to try and prove such a fact anymore, the system finally took note, it just did so a little later then needed!

This past year or so, my family has been left dangling from a string, I often ask god when that string will break.  April has come around so quickly, this time last year we were at the beginning of the tribunal process. However this wasn’t a special educational needs appeal but sadly a disability discrimination case! At that time and for a significant time thereafter, Little man endured so much. Fixed term exclusions that subsequently occurred one after another, removal from nearly every school activity, including educational outings, school plays, Christmas assemblies , etc. He has been illegally excluded and subjected to long spurts of isolation (received 1-to-1 teaching, just him and a teaching assistant in what was known as the den), he would only attend from nine till twelfth, and was made to play in the infant playground with children of a much younger age. My little man was classified as a potential health and safety risk that was a threat to children and staff! Can you imagine how that impacted on a little boys self-esteem! In December 2010 I eventually made one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for my son, ‘ to remove him from the educational setting that was impacting hugely on his mental well-being!’  As a parent I could not stand by while he was subjected to such treatment. 

During the beginning of October 2010 at the height of the discrimination the local education authority (LEA) finally agreed to undertake a statutory assessment of Little Man’s Special educational needs that he so desperately needed! In all honesty this couldn’t have come at a more convenient time! I was quickly running out of ideas and needed my child in an educational setting with staff equipped to meet his needs. 

Believe me, I was under no illusions that this was now plain sailing… some may say I’m somewhat a pessimist but as I’ve stated once maybe twice before that I prefer the term ‘REALIST!’ And as expected the LEA didn’t wanna play fair!

In January 2011 I received the proposed statement of special educational needs but instead of providing a statement that held the potentiality to see him progress, I instead received a proposed statement that provided nothing more then, ‘GOOD OLD COMMON SENSE!’ This statement was made final in March and delivered with a covering letter explaining that the statement had only been finalised to meet time-scales and would be amended to include my suggested amendments…. YES, I’M STILL WAITING!

In February 2011 just a few days before the disability discrimination hearing we eventually came to a settlement that saw his ‘old’ primary school review its policies, train staff in disability discrimination and a formal apology was given to myself and of course little man. 

Little man is currently being educated in a library on a 1-to-1 part-time basis by a tutor his now overly attached to.

Why? Because no ‘special school‘ will offer him a place.

On the 3rd of June our appeal against parts 2, 3 and 4 of little man’s statement will be heard by the SEN first tier tribunal. I will need to prove that the one school I’ve found that can possibly meet his needs, an ‘independent special school’ should be named in part 4 of his statement. I will also need to prove that part 2 does not list all his difficulties and that part three needs amending as to provide the right provision needed for him to succeed, such as… 1-to-1 support from a learning support assistant or at least a teaching assistant, as-well as occupational (OT) and speech and language (SALT) therapy.

 

I’m thankful for the fact that I’m a trained tribunal support adviser and volunteer caseworker for the NAS. This has obviously given me a greater understanding of the SEN law and tribunal process, nevertheless emotionally it’s no easier! I’m still a parent who has had to watch her child regress. Of course I feel a certain amount of anger towards this horrid system that has allowed such a situation as ours to reach this point (let’s not forget that I’m a mother who has been taken to court twice over her child’s school attendance, no one wanting to investigate the underlying issue nor listen when I pleaded for someone/anyone to help! I guess to some prosecution was the more appealing option) However it’s this past resentment that keeps me fighting and empowers me to help others who are walking the path I’ve walked!

So here we are now in April 2011 and as mentioned it’s been incredibility pressing. I’ve had a Birthday that saw me turn twenty-nine, I’ve been busy with my volunteering duties and contracted Pneumonia which I’m only just beginning to get over! I’ve been preparing Little Man’s appeal while also going a tad insane as a result of the Easter holidays & if this wasn’t enough… MY HOUSE LOOKS LIKE IT BLEW UP!

Despite all the above there is something else that has happened these past few weeks in-which I consider to be far more significant then anything I’ve already addressed! Its something that happened within me, a realisation if you like! I’ve had my eyes opened and although I knew Little man hand significant complex needs that admittedly have been made somewhat worse due to his lack of a suitable education, I’ve got to see his difficulties and what scale these are impacting on many areas of his life. The proof that without early intervention, an understanding environment and the right support, the effect on the child with Aspergers can be detrimental. 

On the 4th and 15th of April Little man underwent two independent assessment. One was carried out at our home by a fantastic independent psychologist (EP) who had her work cut out for her, commenting right from the start that Little man was a hard child to assess! The second assessment was carried out in central London just off Harley St, but this time by an independent speech and Language therapist (SALT) who again was a pleasure to met. Both assessments were carried out for the purpose of the tribunal. I needed independent assessments in order to gain reports detailing Little mans current difficulties and suggested provision to be added to part 2 and three of his statement.

On the 4th of April I sat and watched him struggle to cope with the assessment process that was carried out by the EP, his concentration was noticeably low and he found it near on impossible to focus on anything he was given! His anxiety levels were scoring. The Ep worked so hard with him and after four long hours she managed to gather enough information to write her report. 

On Friday we hit Central London for Little mans SALT assessment but even in a different setting from the home Little man found it hard to participate. With much persistence and an offer of a chocolate egg from the therapist we eventually got some off the testing done. I had of course realised that an SALT programme would be needed, but sat there listening to him try to make sentences with the inclusion of a word given by the therapist while looking at a picture in a book. It proved that despite his vocalness, his ability to put what he sees into words is somewhat a struggle for him. His literal understanding was also very apparent on the day!

Both therapists mentioned the possibility of an underlying condition which of course was ADHD and the EP is also pretty sure his dyslexic ( however she was in agreement that his mathematical skills are great) It was also recommended by both that little man undergoes an independent occupational therapy assessment (OT) due to concerns with both his fine and gross motor skills. I’ve also stated with certain task Little Man is like an elephant playing football.

After the SALT assessment we spent the day indulging in Little mans special interest (transport) Visiting London land marks by train, tube and bus. We visited Greenwich market where Little man met a magician which bowled him over before spotting a vintage model bus which after a little begging I reluctantly brought him. We hung out at the O2, visited Canary Wholf (that he didn’t enjoy and got the message across by bending his body into a ball and screaming that the tallest building in London was falling on-top off him! Well, that’s a post for another day) We also took the clipper (fast river boat) along the River Thames. He had such a blast and he smiled almost the entire day, with not one meltdown in sight!

 As I sat on the Dock-lands light rail (Yes we commuted on many types of transport that day!) I watched him shuffle awkwardly when another child sat by. He was obvious to the battle that lie head and maybe it was better that way!   

picture of  Little Man and Mr Magic

My little man, is just that little! His a ten year old boy and it’s not to late to give him what he needs! I hope that the professionals within the LEA and those employed by such a service read this and realise the effects their decisions, treatment and all to often delays have on the child and their family as a whole. Yes it’s your job, but this is mine, “to see that my child gets what he needs, is given the same opportunities as his peers and gets the adequate education he and so many others like him are entitled to” 

“Yep, you may not like it ‘LEA’ but this mothers on a mission!!”

SO SENDING YOU ALL A MASSIVE VIRTUAL HUG FROM MYSELF AND THE LITTLE MAN TO SAY THANK YOU, YOUR TRUELY THE MOST WONDERFUL READERS!

My SOS call

9 Apr
Hello all my fabulous, stunning, goddam beautiful blog readers!
I’m posting today purely to grab some attention and ask every single one of you to do me a little, teeny-weeny favour (hence the major sucking up)
A little birdie with the name of, ‘Twitter‘ informs me the ‘Mads Awards’ are back for 2011 and this year they are being sponsored by parentdish. nominations are now open and the mum & dad blogging community are going crazy. I sat wondering what the hell all the fuss was over! So, me being me popped over for a nosey. Well, this mum got quite excited, I was like a kid at christmas. I suddenly thought to ones self, “Mmm I fancy a piece of the action!”
Well, let me explain… there are fifteen categories and I quite fancy the title, ‘Most Inspiring blog’ Catchy don’t you thing?
I wont give you no sob story, (you should know me by now) instead I’ve decided to jump in at the deep end and do some serious begging. I can’t do this alone, it’s only you guys that can possibly make this happen! So if you love the blog as much as I love writing and sharing it, then please, please begging hands and knees style, nominate the blog for the ‘Most Inspiring Blog’ award.
Yep, it’s a tad cheeky I know, but, “hay what is a mummy gotta do to get an award around here” 🙂
On a very serious note, I should state that this plea has not been made just because I wish to get my mitts of the gorgeously, wonderful prizes (though gosh I wouldn’t say no to anyone of them) This plea is made as it’s my belief that by you lovely people taking a few seconds to nominate this blog, and then me actually getting somewhere, we can together create even more awareness for that something that lies so close to my heart and most properly yours, ‘Autism & Aspergers‘ I convinced myself this could be fate (what with it being April and autism awareness month and all!)
.
PLUS I THINK THE AWARD WOULD JUST LOOK DIVINE IN MY SIDEBAR!
Just kidding :0
Well, if you find that the blog ‘A boy with Asperger’s’ gives you inspiration in some way then please take a quick two seconds to nominate by clicking the image within the post or in the sidebar.
Please note the blogs full URL is required, ‘aspergersinfo.wordpress.com’, and you must first nominate the blog as blogger of the year! The following page will list the fifteen categories. As mentioned, I would love you all to vote for us within the, ‘Most Inspiring’ category. (Feel free to add us to anymore you feel fit! So cheeky, I know!)
Well I thank you in advance my talented, handsome, beautiful, exquisite, ravishing readers……..
Ps It will make the Little man’s day 🙂
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