Changing

A teenage terror!

Is terror a little harsh a word? Um, No, Probably not!

I myself went from a sweet little girl with pigtails to some unrecognisable rebellious monster with too many hormones! Ok, I gave my mum headache for a couple of years but then I got it out my system and grew up.

Nonetheless, I do remember the total chaos I caused in the house. My terrible attitude and stinking mood swings. Now as a mother I’m totally crapping myself at whats to come.

Little man is 12. His almost a teenager and already seems to be experiencing the changes puberty brings.

For many years family and friends have commented that when Little man becomes challenging he displays the many traits of a teenage boy. For this reason and others i’m left asking myself the question… “is the mix of Asperger’s traits and those of puberty going to create an explosive combination?”

Meltdowns are already highly charged. A trigger, depending on what it is, can spark some of the most explosive meltdowns that go on for hours on end. Will these triggers become more heightened or will we be faced with new ones all together?

I’ve already started to notice changes in little man’s behaviour. Having worked extremely hard to master the signs, these are now becoming harder to spot. Its that feeling that your walking on eggshells that or there is some ticking time bomb in the room.

I am extremely grateful to little man’s school. If he never had this placement he may have had to struggle through secondary school. For some children with Aspergers this can be a trying experience! I guess what I’m trying to say is at least he is in a supportive school who can help him through those sometimes confusing teenage years. This is one less thing to worry about.

But its not just meltdowns and mood swings that concern me. As a mother of a teenage boy I worry about all the normal stuff but then with Aspergers thrown into the mix I guess I worry a tad more. For one, there’s the issue of girls… Just because his on the autism spectrum doesn’t mean he won’t experience all those new and confusing feelings when it comes to the opposite sex.

Little man can be somewhat blunt when it comes to saying what he thinks so here’s hoping social skills training will make this area of concern less of a problem.

Changing bodies, feelings and an injection of hormones are sure to bring about a some important lessons for little man and of course for me, his mother.

We are currently working on issues surrounding personal hygiene. With tactile defensiveness little man absolutely hates to bath. He loves to use a power shower and this is something I’m currently requesting from the housing association (which isn’t a walk in the park). Having a shower fitment would make the world of difference to us as a family. Instead of wrestling him into a bubble filled tub, I’d instead have to wrestle him out of the shower. Both myself and his father have both talked with little man about the importance of personal hygiene, especially as he gets older. His already Experimenting with different brands of deodorants because as dad clearly stated… ‘No body likes to be friends with somebody who smells of BO’

As for sex education, the school have already began to teach little man and his peers the basics. There has already been lots of discussions on how their bodies will change as they go through puberty so that there will be no surprises or sudden shocks in the future.

Just yesterday little man informed me that he was developing a few teenage spots that were completely normal for a boy of his age. We talked about the importance of washing his face and reframing from spot popping to which he responded with, ‘ Yuck… I won’t pop them thats disgusting!’ Yes I too was pleased we agreed on something.

I don’t know what these teenage years hold for us. But like everything, its just a case of taking the rough with the smooth. No doubt there will be problems but I’m guessing there will be many achievements made by little man along the way.

These are the years in which little man will become a not so little man. The lessons both myself as his parent and his school teach him, will now be some of the most important to date! Now is the time to work together to get it right, shaping my little man for the future. The end results… A promising life as an independent working adult who looks forward to life’s little surprises instead of fearing them.

Tips For Parents Of Tactile Defensive Children (Part 1 – Hygiene Problems)

Many children On the autism spectrum have some degree of sensory integration difficulties. As a parent of a child diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome with accompanying sensory integration problems, I know just how difficult some situations can become for both parent and child.

One of the senses in particular that little man has problems with Is that of his tactile sense, hypersensitivity to touch/tactile input. As his aged with appropriate Interventions Little man is slowly learning different types of coping strategies to deal with such difficulties.

As a child and still to some extent, I myself was very tactile defensive growing up. As a child with OCD I also developed compulsions and rituals that involved me having to touch certain textures that I didn’t like, a required number of times in order to stop bad things happening. This itself made my sensory defensiveness very hard for others to spot!

I guess the above means that to certain degree I have that much of a better understanding of little mans difficulties within the area of tactile hypersensitivity. Nonetheless, there was areas of difficulty for little man that I had never experienced and to some extent would have never related both the symptom and associated behaviour together. A good example of this would be little man’s reluctance to bath. It took a while for me to realise that it wasn’t the fact he was lazy with no desire to wash, but it was instead the way his body felt when getting out off the bath (wrinkly tight skin, the feeling of wetness within certain areas of the body etc…).

So, that’s why today I would like to share some of the tips and strategies I have learnt, that help my little man with some of the difficulties he experiences at the hands of tactile hypersensitivity. All these difficulties affect the area of personal hygiene.

Teeth Brushing: Little man hates brushing his teeth and will try and avoid at any cost. This is because the way his mouth feels during & following this action. He also gets rather upset that his taste buds have changed when he drinks anything shortly after brushing his teeth. Just explaining that such experiences are short lived and resolve themselves quickly, doesn’t make any difference to a child like little man. So what do you do?

Tip… Buy only soft tooth brushes. I buy brushes designed for toddlers milk teeth. Its not ideal him using them at 12 years old, nonetheless, I’d rather he brushed with this than nothing at all. As well as the soft brush he also uses toothpaste designed for smaller, younger teeth. This toothpastes doesn’t give off the same sensations. They are lower or except from certain ingredients altogether, therefore avoiding any burning or ultra cooling sensation in the mouth. This also leaves little taste behind and that first drink isn’t as daunting as it was before. I know he will need to use better toothpaste as he goes into his teenage years so have therefore started to look at the different options available in terms of products… Is there actually a toothpaste designed for those with tactile defensiveness? Big gap in the market there if there isn’t! Any suggestions, please do leave them in the comment section.

Bathing: Little man will need me to start requesting he baths in the morning in order to ensure he eventually gives in on the refusal front and is in the tub come late evening. Reasons for the refusal is mainly centred around tactile sensations shortly following a swim in the tub. He understands that the feeling of wetness within certain body areas is quickly fixed with a towel but it still concerns him leading to avoidance. One of the reasons this is, is that he also hates the sensation of tight clean skin, wrinkly fingers etc… That are very present (probably more so) once you have towel dried.

Tips: I must first add, that little man actually loves the shower, sadly we don’t have one and can not afford a shower fitment over our bath. So, why is it different and why might a shower be a better option for your tactile defensive child? Well… the water is aimed downwards in a continuous flowing motion, there is little opportunity for water to really sit on skin in large amounts. When showering the body has not been submerged in water. This therefore removes that sensation of tightness to the skin and wrinkly fingers and toes.

Little man again loves swimming and this itself confused me. Later, I actually discovered he liked the smell of Chlorine and thought that it cleansed his skin of dirt, meaning he could avoid a bath later on at home lol. The fact there is a shower at the swimming baths is another big Incentive to swim. He will protest on an evening his been swimming, that he don’t need the bath his been in the chlorine filled pool plus showered too! For me it was more reason to get him in that bath.

Good products… I never give little man soap to use. This itself makes the skin super tight and squeaky clean, sending him loopy. I myself, don’t use soap for the dislike of tightness plus sensitive skin. We instead use a good sensitive body wash with little fragrance. But saying this Little man also seeks out certain smells and some actually help encourage him to bath. The boy loves lush and colour changing bath bombs can have him running to the bathroom. These are normally quite highly fragranced so I am pleased they are all natural handmade products with many of them correcting some of the tactile sensations he develops.

Recently we discovered a product from Olay that is a body wash with added body lotion helping to lock in moisture therefore removing the dry, tight sensation. It seems weird as body lotion is something we apply following a bath but it does really work.

DIY… When we recently ran out of our Olay product sent from the gods, and I couldn’t find it anywhere in the shops, I decided to get all DIY! I added some Johnson’s Baby Lotion to a bottle of Simple body wash and can you believe it? It really did work! Excluding the odd oily blob of floating mixture in the bath, its actually a really clever and effective solution.

So… Overall use good products to help reduce sensations, apply good body creams and lotions following a bath too.

Use a good quality towel that isn’t hard or stiff. If you have a tumble dryer then use it to keep towels fluffy and warm.

Make bath times fun and sensory inviting with water colour changers, bath paint and our favourite… Crazy Soap.

If you have a shower, give your child the option. Its my experience that a shower is less likely to bring on such extreme feelings of tactile discomfort.

Hand-washing: Little man needs constant prompts to wash his hands. Sometimes seeing is believing so if he can’t see dirt he thinks there must be no germs so no need to wash them. Again he hates the sensation of wet hands or those that feel funny after using certain soaps or hand wash. Other times little man just plain forgets, especially after using the toilet.

Tips….

Prove It: I used an ultraviolet light to reveal the unseen germs on little mans hands…. After all education is important for any child. I also directed him to online youtube videos and resources that explain the differences about dirt and unseen germs (what you can’t see really can hurt you). However, for you a more gentle approach maybe necessary. Children on the autism spectrum can be easily frightened and become over obsessive about subjects, therefore worrying about contamination and then as a result, engage in too much hand-washing! You know your child best!

Visual clues: Just a sign on the toilet wall that states “Now Please Wash Your Hands” that is visible when your child goes to pull the chain, can be enough to jog their memory and have them running to the bath room sink. We had one of them cute posters in a cartoon format that read pretty much the same reminder.

The Right Handwash & Hand-cream: A good handwash instead of soap. Little man then applies a hand cream to replace moisture back into the skin correcting the sensation of tightness. Buy your child a pocket travel size hand cream to take out and about with them, including school.

Child Friendly Hand Sanitisers: Sometimes when out and about your child may refuse to use a public washroom sink for a string of reasons like the horrid liquid in the soap dispensers or a fear of the electronic hand fans (used to scare Little man rotten). On the market there are now really good alcohol free Hands sanitisers (we have reviewed a few here on the blog). These, followed by the application of travel sized hand cream could be the answer.

Nail clipping & Cleaning: By far one of Little man’s worst feared hygiene task. It’s highly embarrassing for your child to have dirty nails and it’s also highly embarrassing for you, the parent that your child has such dirty nails. Little man just finds the sensation of freshly cut nails totally unbearable. He also freaks out when cleaning instruments are used, saying it makes him feel fuzzy. Now, I can share some tips I’ve been given but sadly we are still struggling. Nonetheless, you may have more success. If you have any tips of your own, that you feel myself and the Little man could benefit from then please leave a comment below.

Tips: Crystal nail files can help! I have a Leighton Denny glass file and its gentle and kinder to nails. Still its a struggle for use as he still refuses, freaks out and dislikes the cleaning process that you need to undertake first.

Allow your child to clip and clean nails themselves. Your child then has better control over how short to cut them and the sensations felt with differing lengths. Again we still struggle (Only ever provide such an option to older children.)

Incentives aka good old bribery. Not really a tip as such and quite bad advise but something I admit resorting to. Funny enough he still often doesn’t give in, even if I’m offering something exciting.

Try nail brushes for cleaning. We have a very nice soft nail brush with extra fine bristles that Little man is leaning to tolerate.

Remember, don’t cut too short. If the feeling of freshly cut nails is really overpowering, you will get nowhere near them with the clippers next time. Plus if you catch the skin you may as well forget ever trying again… Not gonna happen!

Try nail scissors instead of clippers. These don’t cut so bluntly decreasing the sensation that’s felt following the task.

Warning: Don’t ever, ever, even try and cut your child’s nails while they are sleeping! One minute he was snoring, I was clipping away thinking “Gotcha Now” When the next thing I knew the clippers were on the floor and I was following them with a freshly punched nose. Not his fault, he acted on impulse having been woken due to a sensation he finds horrific! Yes, just because they are in the land of nod doesn’t mean the brain doesn’t produce messages of uncomfortable tactile sensations!

#HAWMC DAY 16 – The brilliance of Pinterest

I have to admit that when reading today’s #HAWMC writing prompt, I smiled a big fat cheesy grin.

The prompt was to create a pinterest board surrounding your health focus and then pin three things and share them here within this post.

There was no need for me to run off and try to open a pinterest account, I already have one and yes… Like many I’m already a bit of a “Pin Head”

Of course, having been actively using and engaging in Pinterest related activities, I had already created such a board (one surrounding my heath focus).

The board is titled, “Autism and Sen” its one of a hand full of boards I have surrounding autism and sen related issues.

This actual board focus a lot around creativity, supplying its followers with ideas that could help make life a tad simpler (visual prompts) as well as lots of ideas for sensory play, ones designed to help your child’s senses develop or give them that sensory seeking pleasure they crave!

Unsurprisingly, I also didn’t feel the need to zoom of and start pinning, the boards adequately filled and continues to grow most days. I did however actually find it quite difficult to decide which three pins I wanted to share, so of course I broke the rules a little and have shared a few more for good measure (sometimes rules are there to be broken)!

My first pin I’d like to share is this awesome visual chore chart which I thought would be a great resource for parents trying to encourage children on the autism spectrum engage in household chores or even as a prop to help teach independence skills. The original content came via the blog moneysavingmom.com.

I love this next pin that links to the blog growingajeweledrose.blogspot.com where some fabulous ideas can be found for sensory fun. This particular image is home-made glowing bath paint. I have tried this and it works 🙂 If your child, like mine is tactile defensive and isn’t to keen on the bath tub, this could be the thing to help.

Staying on the issue of sensory processing and that of tactile defensiveness, this next pin demonstrates a great way to encourage your child to experience and recognise different textures therefore learning to tolerate them. The home-made tactile board below is also great for the sensory seek who just has to seek out different textures. The pin shows a really effect and cheap way to combat such issues (tactile boards that of shop brought are often very expensive products). The pins original content is from the awesome blog makeadoandfriend.blogspot.com.

As mentioned I couldn’t stop at just three, so, here’s a few more…

This pin is from handsonaswegrow.com and demonstrates the beauty in sensory play. Dish or shaving foam is both a cheap and effective play idea for the child who sensory seeks.

Lastly I had to share this pin that displays a badge displaying a quote many of us can relate too…

Pin from hugsnstitches4u.com

You can find my Autism and Sen board along with some other fab boards, over on my Pinterest  just click HERE

This is post 16/30  of the Wego Health #HAWMC

The Sensory Processing Of A Child With Aspergers Syndrome

It’s a saturday afternoon, myself and the children are sat in our local  cafe where I’m treating them to lunch and their favourite milkshake. Sat across from us, there are workmen sipping their tea as they delve into a spot of all day breakie. It’s a little noisy but that’s just what you expect from a cafe, isn’t it!

Suddenly I hear the sound of scrapping metal, it seems drawn out, lasting forever. I look round to spot one of the builders doing a grand old job of ensuring he gets his full five quid’s worth, as he fights to scrape the remaining 4 or so baked beans onto his fork, before finally shoving them in his mouth and down his throat. I turn my head in the direction of Little Man (aka a boy with Aspergers) who now has his hands firmly placed over his face, shaking his head, he mumbling words I cannot understand, yet I know what his saying, his saying, “Mum, let’s get the hell out off here!”

Sensory Overload is powerful, so much so, it can make a person actually vomit. So, if my Little Man is so sensitive to such sounds, why take him to a place they are bound to be found? Little man loves the cafe and I want him to experience such small pleasures such as eating in one! Some days can be worse than others, his done well at trying to take in these sounds that cause him so much distress, finding other methods of dealing with it! Yet, this is all dependent on his current state of mind and how he feels physically at the time (I guess it’s like anyone and anything, example being how things are much harder without sleep)!

Such simple things interfere with Little mans senses and I feel as his mother, it’s my duty to help him find ways to regulate them best he can! He has to live with many sensory triggers, some that will never be fully avoidable, I want to be sure that he can cope both physically and mentally. Given Little man faces many of these sensory triggers on a daily basis, myself and his OT based within his school, are trying our hardest to help him to process these things better as to not let it take over completely making him stressed upset or simply meltdown! The sound of scrapping metal is just one in a long list of sensory processing difficulties the Little man experiences with each day, and was actually one of the first indications that Little man had such difficulties within this area! This was when he was not much older than 2-years-old.

Certain tactile experiences are yet another sensory trigger for Little man, he will refuse to wear certain clothing garments dependent on their material, he refuses to drink from plastic beakers or eat from plastic plates, stating it leaves him feeling fuzzy. It’s taken a long time to work out what does and what doesn’t upset him, I can safely say, that in many respects, especially in regard to the clothing issues, I have it nailed now! Then again given he refuses to wear anything other than joggers, it isn’t hard to establish what it is I should be offering him to wear everyday. We are so lucky that his special school for children on the autism spectrum actually allows joggers as part of it’s uniform! Mainstream school and its uniform policy caused little man great distress, he was even excluded from school on a number of occasions for sensory outburst when demands were made to tuck his shirt in! For the average person, that’s like requesting they stick their head in a hot oven!

The good news was “Bob the builder” (aka workman opposite) had managed to capture all of his baked beans so had finally stopped chasing them around the plate! Bad news was, Bobs crew also liked to engage in some good old grub chasing and soon enough Little man let rip!

Raising to his feet he turned in the direction of the workmen and with great volume stated, “Id much rather you licked your plate please” Now, a little shocked I’m sure they were, after all, it’s not every lunch break you get told to lick your plate by a small child (well, this was a good 3 years back, before his massive spurt in growth)! However, what they did next I didn’t expect! One goes for it… literally licking his plate while laughing and stating in between licks, “like that son, is it?” Little man had meant it all right, they may have thought my Little man was some little sarcastic wise arse, but I knew he meant it and was rather pleased at the fact this builder had taken his meaningful advice and got stuck in, licking like a dog.

Regardless of the fact I did laugh inside, (quite some amount in fact) I didn’t want little man thinking his chosen technique had won him silence, he would only be ordering the licking of plates every single time we ran into these problems, and let’s be honest, you always get one person who fails to see any funny side of anything whatsoever! This could therefore result in Little man getting hurt, maybe even being beating up as he grows older, and what mother ever wants to think about such a horrible thing happening to her child!

I’ve defiantly decided to start the Little man on a sensory diet, which before you ask, doesn’t have anything to do with food! Basically , this is a programme you can do at home which is made up from a series of activities and exercises, designed to help with sensory integration.

Here are some great ideas to introduce a child with Autism, Aspergers or just SPD to a series of Sensory based activities things they may normally find difficult to process.

Tactile board

Introducing a range of textures as part of a tactile board, some children with autism like Little man, are incredibly sensitive to touch, others pose no issues at all. Hanging a tactile board in a bedroom, children can be encouraged to touch the board regularly, offering rewards for achievements.

Sensory messy box

This is great for both the sensory seeker and the child who is said to be tactile defensive. In terms of the sensory seeking behaviour displayed by some, the Sensory Messy Box offers children a safe activity (reduces sensory seeking behaviours, such as rocking spinning, clapping and more). For the child who is defensive, lots of encouragement and continued reassurance is the overall key. I’m planing to use incentives like mini Lego figures, to get the Little man wanting to put his hands in good fun messy coloured shaving foam, to hopefully dish about and retrieve them.

Dressing up box

It’s always best to fill a dressing up trunk with both the materials your child does and doesn’t tolerate, as having them with him, (especially if he likes the look of the costumes) may just help him feel more motivated to make contact with the different textures on offer!

The creation of a sensory pad (aka Little man’s bedroom)!

 Something I’ve felt the desire to create for, so… long! First I was put of the idea, having viewed some top sensory products, that included, lights, beds, toys and more at an autism exhibition. These items were innovative, top of the range, extremely clever, providing clam and tranquility, but sadly I found them to be priced outrageously high. As time passed, with much googling, window shopping etc, it became clear that this can be done on a smaller budget! High street stores do many sensory items, there just not labelled that way! Imagination and creative thinking are also the inexpensive tool needed for creating such a space. I’ve been using Pinterest and have been designing the board “the sensory room” as to collect inspiration and share it with others also wanting to create a place to help their child destress. I will update some more later in regard to my progress in building a Sensory pad, though do feel free to follow me on Pinterest where you will find this board, amongst other boards boasting lots of ideas for parents of children with special needs.

Well, I will stop there for now, this post is becoming beyond long, plus the Mac is ignoring most of my commands and doing whatever it wants to right now!

I’ll be sure to share some more fun sensory ideas over the coming few weeks, in the meantime, if anyone has any tip or creative ideas to share, please let me know in a comment as I’d love to hear them.

Related articles

• Aspergers – Worrying what the future holds (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• What Is Asperger’s Syndrome? (eatgfcf.wordpress.com)
• 10 positives to parenting a child with Aspergers Syndrome (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• The 2012 London Toy Fair Brings Great Toys For Children On The Autism Spectrum (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Our worse ever meltdown & coping with little sleep (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)

Do your homework!

As a parent I’ve read many articles floating about the net, all written with the aim of assisting parents who have children returning to school this September. I find that many do not offer any information to assist those parents of the “non typical” children, the child with autism or aspergers.

 In some respects I kind of think, “Well, why would they” but when I  think about the high numbers of children being diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, I ask myself, “Well, why the hell haven’t they!” I’m no expert, “Far from it” but as a parent of an almost 11 year old  boy with a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome who has been through both mainstream and special school (where he thankfully now resides) a child who was an active school refuser, who had been excluded more times than I care to remember, I have needed to tried one or two techniques aimed to ease the whole returning to school situation! It’s these few little techniques that I am willing to share with you here today! Sadly there are no quick fixes, believe me I know!

  I Hate this uniform

 Uniform, a total nightmare for the child with autism, especially the one who is tactile defensive! We all like to buy new school uniforms at the beginning of  the new school year (we often don’t have a choice what with the rate they grow)! However, if that uniform still fits, don’t change it! Of course there are those times it unavoidable, change of school, the start of secondary school is one great example that a new uniform will need to be brought! When little man was at his mainstream school, they suddenly introduced a new school uniform policy. Uniform posed a massive problem for little man causing all sorts of issues (even exclusion). He went from no uniform to full uniform, a huge change for any child! So, Here’s some tips on ways to make wearing uniform that little bit easier for your child on the autism spectrum!

 Get it washed

That’s right, wash new uniform in your usual detergent, not once but a good few times prior to your child returning to school. Use a fabric softener and if possible dry in the tumble-dryer as opposed to the washing-line, where clothing tends to become stiff. The tumble-drying of uniform will help to create maximum softness of garments.

 Test run

Get your child wearing the uniform for a few minutes each day increasing the time as you go. This enables your child time to get used to uniform rather then expecting them to wear it for the first time when returning to school. Think of it as wearing in a new pair of  shoes to ensure they don’t hurt your feet when you wear them on your big night out for the first time.

Let’s not go Shopping

 Most children with autism hate the prospect of shopping, even those that enjoy it fail to cope with it well. If you are lucky enough to be in the position of leaving your child with a loved one when doing your, “back to school shop” then do so. If something don’t fit you can always return it! Shopping online is another good idea. Try to buy from those you have brought from before. This way you will have an idea of the ranges they stock and the service you will receive (fast delivery, good  returns policy , etc.) Your child will also be familiar with the texture, material of the clothing, important for those who are sensitive to certain tactile input. If you do find you have to take your child shopping then go at a quieter time/day. Have the aim of buying everything in the one shop (if  possible). You can also check stock before hand if stock is in! Some stores will be helpful enough to check and then hold the items back (especially if  you explain your situation) This means you can pretty much do an in & out job which could save your child from experiencing a sensory related meltdown!

 Advanced preparation

 Most schools will introduce all children to a new teacher or learning environment (classroom) before the last day of term. This is fine for the typical child but those on the spectrum may require that bit extra!  If your child is in a special school then it’s my guess lots will be done to prepare your child for even the smallest transition.  Mainstream schools also have a duty to make reasonable adjustments for the child on the autism spectrum and this would be considered one of  those adjustments! Speak to your child’s teacher or school senco to see if the child  could maybe spend extra time with the new teacher in the run up to the end of term (school year). Maybe arrangements can be made for your child to spend a  few hours per week in the new classroom starting a few months before hand ( though there are times that schools will not be aware of the child’s new learning arrangements till the last few weeks of term, nonetheless, careful preparations need to be made). All the above and more should be done for a child making the transition from pre-school to reception and those off to secondary , etc.

 Social stories

 A great idea would be to create a social story for your child. This could be done with the help of your child’s teaching team. A picture of the new classroom  in-which your child will learn and even a photo of the new teacher could  prove a massive help. You can spend time going through your child’s social story with your child during the school holidays. If this is something you haven’t done already, don’t panic! You can create a social story with the focus of change and returning to school with cut-outs from magazines, newspapers or from visuals downloaded from the net, it’s never to late!

 Visual aids

It’s important to use visual timetables at home if used in school, this helps to create some level of consistency. Many children require images & picture symbols where others do just fine with words. Visual timetables can be expensive but you can get creative and make your own (maybe I will show you how in a post one day). Be sure to highlight during the holidays how many days are let till the return to school (Children on the spectrum like to know what’s coming next). We had this highlighted at the side of  little mans home made magnetic timetable. We just used the symbol for school with the correct number next to it as to indicate how many days remained till he returns to school. This is also a great way to avoid school refusal.

Consistency 

Another good thing to do is remain consistent throughout the school holidays. I mean keeping the bedtime routine the same. Sadly little man has trouble maintaining bedtime routines at the best of times which  technically puts me in no position to advise on the matter! Still, the concept is a good one, which is basically to keep things the same! Who knows it could work for you.

 Well, that’s it, I have an arm arch from the typing, so I’m done! I hope my little tips assist you in some way, even if it just makes one thing less trying that’s got to be something?

 Little man has just two and a bit weeks left. Here’s hoping we have a  good return to school.

Related articles

• What can help a student on the spectrum succeed in college? (autismspeaks.org)
• Giving Children on Autism Spectrum A Different Kind of Rail Connection (nytimes.com)

Tactile defensiveness

This past week has been so horrid for the whole of the family. We really thought we had got past the school uniform battle. Things are never as they seem, far from it in fact. We have a very angry boy coming home from school on a daily basis. Last week was bad enough with supermarket meltdowns and sleepless nights! Just when things all go quite something else happens.

Little man has always had sensory sensitivity some days worse then others. When in his favourite tracksuit bottoms we don’t have to worry about it as much… That was up in till the school introduced the new school uniform policy. We spent the best part of reception class and year one constantly battling to get Little man into school. He would scream, quite literally hang on to the banister as I dragged him out of the house I knew there was something a little different about Little man. What was different became clearer as he grew older. He had no diagnosis but he sure did do some “Odd” things. Why on earth has he hide his clothing I would think , as I pulled a bundle of jeans out from under his bed. Then there was the “I’m not wearing that coat! No, no, no!” I didn’t have a clue and we must off brought him five or more coats in till I started to “get it!” He used to always try and lose his coats in school, and still does. I remember at the end of the school year when they lay out or the last property. What isn’t claimed ends up outside the charity shop. I must have looked like I was going in for the kill and getting what I could for free. I’m not kidding when I say we came out with six coats, four jumpers, two packed lunch boxes, and a ton of jumpers. I was so …. embarrassed

Discovering that Little man could be on the autistic spectrum (Our second CAMHS visit with Tony, back when little man was seven) was a real turning point. It was hard and oh my it was a lot to take in, but going home and reading about ASD and Aspergers I finally knew why he did such things. Sensory sensitivity is something we all have just those on the spectrum have this problem to a greater degree. I know that a certain background nosie like the washing machine spinning while I’m reading or watching TV drives me bonkers, but I can deal with it. My little man like many others can be driven bonkers. Certain sounds, smells and textures can get to Little man and really upset him to the point of meltdown.

It’s his tactile defensiveness that is now causing him more problems at school. Yes, his wearing the correct uniform he is just having trouble with the tucking in your shirt rule. Sadly it seems others are having problems “getting it” It got to the point where little man become so upset yesterday, I kept him home the afternoon when he came home for lunch. I’ve written a letter to school and hope that maybe from now on the situation can be dealt with in a sensitive way.

Maybe it’s hard for some people to take a child’s problem with sensory sensitivity seriously. To many not being able to tuck your shirt in because it makes you feel fuzzy is silly. You often get comments like “What do you mean he can’t” Or “Just give it a go” Would we say to someone.. “Go on stick your head in the oven and see how it feels?” Many may think it’s not the same, but it is! Somebody said to me its like making a child in a wheel chair climb stairs! It was kinda cute, as when repeating this to little mans father, Little man over heard and told me that would just be an outrage, as he would fall and smash his face. Of course I explained it was just an expression. My point is I just find it very frustrating so I can only imagine what it does to Little man.

Lately I’ve been thinking that maybe we should consider an occupational therapist, I hear they are good at helping with sensory issues. A while back I contacted Brainwave and they did agree to help. Brainwave is a two day programme, that involves you and the child meeting a number of professionals and they devise a programme for the child. The parent learns the programme and carries it on at home. The child has a review every few months. It’s a programme that cost a few thousand but the best part comes from charitable funds, the parent is only asked to pay £500 toward this. It’s a brilliant opportunity  and once I have the Money I think it will be something we will seriously consider.

Well, I took Little man in to school today with his shirt un-tucked but I had come up with a plan. He had left his over sized school jumper in school. My plan was for him to wear this and hide his shirt underneath. Good job it was cold today as Little man would be more willing to wear it (I hoped) The lovely receptionist in the school (Always polite and none judgemental) took little man off to find this over sized jumper as he left it on his peg. I was worried she may have a problem with him refusing to put it on. When I got him for lunch I was so please to see him wearing it. His TA did report there had been a few issues (Non uniform related) But it was a joy not to have him moaning all the way up the road about being made to tuck his shirt in. He even went back to school after lunch with zero fuss.

Sadly at 6pm this evening I was called by the head teacher who informs me little man is excluded tomorrow and Monday. I was so upset as I had already told him on collection from school that he would be treated to something of his choice (Of course it was a bus ride with dad) Reason for the treat was because I finally received some fantastic news (For a change) The progress Little man had made in his support group for reading, writing and spelling was fantastic. The letter stated that what he had achieved in six month was what most achieve in ten month. This meant his progress was much better then expected of him. Sadly I had no time to enjoy my Little mans good news and smile at the fact we were receiving good news instead of bad, and for once no after school drama. Two and a half hours later the bubble got popped by the telephone call informing me off his two day exclusion. I cried in putting down the phone. I was told it was for a whole range of issues, mainly name calling. It just never ends EVER! Ironic as tomorrow I planed to go swimming with him and the school and then head out to get food shopping as our cupboards are bare. Most mother do all their bits and pieces when the children are in school. Hell no not me! I should be so lucky. I’m down the school three times a day and do trips were I can I just can’t do it. So…. Now his shopping along side me…

.. WILL WE GET OUT THE SUPERMARKET ALIVE? That is the question.

The Sen (Special educational needs) panel wont meet till the 30th of September due to the fact the Senco put in the assess one form to late. It’s a bit of a pain as it would of been heard today. All the time his in this school nothing will get better. I just hope that this time the LEA do the right thing.