An Overflow In Hormones

Sometimes in life we feel we do our best yet our best is never good enough.

Little man is having a real time of it lately. Since his been in his independent special school for children with autism and Aspergers, I have had hardly any calls or emails reporting problems. However, I wish I could say the same for last week.

Little man wasn’t able to go swimming this week so, he helped out at the poolside. I can’t blame his school. They do everything in their power to ensure no child is left behind, and believe me sometimes I’ve found myself surprised that little man hasn’t been sent home for something or another. Last week I think he just pushed them to far.

Thankfully it was taken into account the fact his sleep pattern has been simply hectic. What with us stopping the slow releasing melatonin his been a little sleepless and off the wall.

So… Just what has he been up too you may ask? Well, his been argumentative with staff and actually caused the school bus to stop in its tracks on the way to swimming. Again he was acting a bit of a class clown.

If this wasn’t enough already, little man is also being somewhat inappropriate when it comes to the subject of sex.

He started to ask questions relatively early on. Well, his last year of primary school that is. But now its kinda gone to overload and his constantly wanting to raise the subject. This is fine, completely normal I guess. He is a boy of 12 years old in his first year of secondary school. Nonetheless, little man hasn’t got the required social skills mastered as yet, so, when it comes to dealing with this subject in the most appropriate of ways he struggles. This means he tends to say things that are not really acceptable, he also thought he would announce to the class that he enjoyed watching a bit of naughty TV on his computer when we are all sleeping at night.

Now, when they say children with Asperger’s syndrome do not lie, then please remember… This is absolute pony! Yes, little man is too honest at times, he doesn’t lie very well at all and if directly asked something truth comes before lie. However, he has the natural ability to make stuff up and this was very much the case on this occasion! You may ask how I know? Simple… We have content lock so this isn’t possible. I’ve also been removing the playstation from the bedroom at bedtime. I once woke up to him playing wrestling in the small hours and have removed it ever since.

We have had a long chat about telling stories that have hold no truth. I tried to explain that this type of thing can easily land parents in trouble when children state concerning issues. We are most lucky that his school really understand both his condition and him as a child. If he started making claims like this in mainstream… This would have lead to the AWO to come knocking on our door… No question!

Little man hasn’t been in trouble for this… After all his just a young boy with a sudden overflow in hormones and an over curious mind. I’ve emailed the school about my concerns, mainly that I don’t feel confident when explaining things to him as he seems to either act quite silly or ask questions I just don’t feel I cant answer. With this the school have stated that when they return in the new year, sex education will be a new edition to the timetable.

Somehow I’m guessing (if not hoping a little) that discovering the ins and outs of sex will have him running back to his Lego and computer games in seconds with no further interest for the next 10 years or so… Lol!

Being a kid growing up in this world is scary, but for a child on the spectrum its that bit scarier. Little man is just curious to discover everything the world offers… Including sex.

As for us mothers… Well, it makes us feel older than we actually are… Much, much older. A sudden increase in worry lines are almost certain and I’ve noticed what looks like a train track running along my forehead! Lets just not mention the black eye bags… Seriously, don’t even go there!

Update – Davina for Next

Last week was a busy one, so I apologise for my late update! On the plus side, I’ve likely done more exercise than I actually think I did, what with all the rushing around! So, I’ve continued with the Davina ultimate workout and fell both on and off the diet wagon more times than I care to mention. I’m yet to take up any form of running but continue to engage in some power walking (unless with the toddler, this is like walking at a snail’s pace)! I’ve walked around our local woods so many times in the past 4 weeks, I could tell you where the squirrel’s hide their nuts!

Sadly, I didn’t do much dancing last week, unless you include my antics at the Lollibop mini disco at the ‘Ministry of Sound’ London, or that of me shaking my butt to a bit of Kiss 100 every morning as I go about doing the horrible task of get the kids out of bed and ready for school (it all counts doesn’t it)!

Most importantly, I’m feeling somewhat better within myself. I’m eating at reasonable hours, despite the odd slip, as well as making simple lifestyle changes that are now fitting into with my daily routine without much difficulty, I mean, it’s not so much of a struggle, I’m naturally making healthier choices without feeling like its a chore! I’ve also found that I am actually much more motivated now then I was a week ago, maybe it just took a while to kick in.
Last week I faced the fear of having to brave my swimsuit in order to take the toddler swimming. I continued to declare I just didn’t have time, but if the truth be told, deep down, It’s the fact that I’m still not comfortable in the way my body looks since baby number 3. Swimming is something that will help me get back in my size 8’s, so to avoid it seems a little crazy (plus Harley is two now and has never been, I can’t be holding him back due to my own body hang ups)!

Now as we start a new week, I’ll also be preparing to write my last update, Yep, it’s all going to be finished, leaving myself and my fellow 9 ‘Davina for Next’ virtual workout buddies, to our own devices. Last week I was a bit worried that I’ll just let it slip when it’s over, one week will turn into two weeks and before you know it I’m back to my old ways! I thought that without the need to send a weekly report I may just sit eating lashings of dessert as I watch Eastenders, going back for seconds and maybe thirds! I actually think I was just having a low week and wasn’t thinking about it properly. You see, I will continue on my journey to get back in my size 8’s and make lifestyle changes that will stick with me, because I want it so much, I want to do this for myself! I really won’t need to share and I’m sure as hell, you’ll all have had enough of my battle to combat the flab anyway! 🙂

So with only one more post to write, I thought that this would be a great time to share some of the lessons I’ve learnt from having started this journey to get fit with Davina and Next!

◆ We, all fall of the diet wagon from time to time, beating ourselves up in the process only makes us depressive, looking for comfort in something sweet. So, instead of embarking on a chocolate eating frenzy, I tell myself off and jump back on the diet wagon.

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◆ We often become more motivated when we have failed at something! If I notice I’m actually gaining a few pounds as opposed to shifting them, I’m disappointed, though it makes me all the more determined to kick my own arse the following week!
◆ Stop being so restrictive! Yes, this one makes me feel like a hypocrite as its one I know to be true, though I do struggle with. You see, I know by putting yourself on a really tight diet you will drop it quicker, but like they say… It’s just as easy and speedy to stick it back on! Not only this, I find myself, moody, irritable, and not all that nice to be around. I’m therefore trying to be less extreme and more realistic yet happy.

◆ If like me, you have a serious disliking to the weighing scales then just don’t go near them. I really dislike weighing myself, it can determine my whole mood for the day and I don’t want to be worrying myself stupid every time I gain a pound or two! I instead go by my dress size and the way my clothes fit. You know when you’re losing weight or toning up in many ways, scales only make you obsessive, I know as it ruined a good few years of my life.

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◆ An important one, that I myself discovered last week, (the hard way) is don’t push yourself to far when your body is telling you you’re getting sick! I think a certain amount of light exercise when uncomfortable (example the time of the month) is a great way to feeling more you again plus it also helps create natural pain relief, however, when you feel like you’re coming down with a horrible flu then rest! I didn’t, I ignored it, and ended up in bed recovering from a horrid flu that then converted itself into the worse ever stomach flu. I know, that for the 3 days I battled on ignoring the messages given off  by my body and that’s why it caught up with me and likely put me out of action longer than It probably would have done if I sweated it out in bed from the start.image from google docs

◆ Eating little and often makes calories easier to burn off, while only eating till your full will likely be the real key to success. My mother always told me as a whining child claiming I was starving not long after lunch, to drink some water! It’s so true, we often mistake thirst for hunger!
◆ When that dreaded time of the month hits and you feel yourself reaching for that family bar of Cadbury dairy milk, grab a handful of Cherry plum tomatoes that have been stored in the fridge, instead. Ok, I’m not going to lie… of course this isn’t the same (give me the family bar over a tom any day of the week) however, they are nice and actually really juicy and sweet! For me it helps put the sweet craving at bay which is just brilliant as monthly’s are usually the time when my willpower runs of without me.

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◆ You really can exercise while sitting on your back-side! Once you have it nailed, you find your engaging in such a task without realising it. When sitting watching my favourite programme… let’s say… “BBC3 Being human, which was on last night & I love it, I’ll do some pelvic floor exercises (so, important and  just doesn’t apply to those new mothers) then I’ll do some leg lifts or when actually really in the mood and trying, I’ll sit on the exercise bike for half an hour or so. I’ve discovered that it’s these little extra things that end up amounting to big differences and once done once or twice they come naturally without becoming a dreaded chore! If I forget one night, it doesn’t matter, I’ll still gain from them,  tomorrow!
◆ Walk as opposed to driving or using any other forms of transportation (buses, taxis etc…) OK, if we are talking long haul distances then go on… I’m with you if you wanna start the car up, but those journeys within walking distance will leave you feeling better (probably not at the time) and will also help you reach any goals quicker. This is especially the case if you are shopping. I’f my bags are heavy but I can mange regardless of a little struggle, I then refuse to call a taxi. Instead I focus on landmarks to help me get back without putting the bags to the ground and wiping the sweat from my forehead just 2 minutes up the hill (yes, I
have to walk the shopping up the hill)! Once I’ve reached the landmark, example traffic lights, I may be half way there, so I then focus on something else, It really seems to work well and is not only a great way to shift calories and tone the tops of your arms, but a good way to penny pinch too!

I was  going to share some pictures of myself in my Davina for next clothing and give an update on whether my chosen pieces have withstood the test of time, especially that of the washing machine. However, given that this is now my final week and in a few short days I’ll give you my final update, I’ve decided to save them till then, when I’ll also share some recipes, ideas, my highs and lows, progress and final thoughts! After all… I want to finish on a bang!

So to discover my final last words and see some photos I was thinking about burning… then get yourselves over here on Wednesday the 15th February

To checkout the ‘Davina for Next’ fitness range of clothing and innovative footwear click Here

Related articles

• Making Progress with Davina (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Week one – Getting fit with Davina (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Davina for Next – Week 2 (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Davina for Next, working out in style (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Davina for Next – Week 3 (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)

Our very own “school” trip

So this week myself and little man had our very own school trip.
Ever since all this horrible business of little man missing out on school trips started his confidence has been at an all time low.

“Ok it may not be a “real” school trip but it’s our school trip” and I had to do something to help repair his dramatically disappearing confidence, to make him feel better about himself & more confident in who he is! I’m not saying little man isn’t sometimes a bit of a handful when out & about, his no “angel” but then again what ten-year old boy is? He does have difficult times & always will when his out on school/family outings but a great deal of his difficulties are caused by anxiety, over excitement and more recently… Pure apprehension of what’s a head. It’s like he won’t allow himself to look forward to anything as his learnt how quick it can be taken away. On a recent trip to swimming (sadly only his second time attending since the new school year) he suggested we didn’t walk with the class as a way to avoid something going wrong resulting in him missing out! How crazy is that? Sadly things didn’t go well at swimming but that’s another post for another day,and one that’s to long and upsetting to report on just now.
So the point I’m trying to make is… All the above is directly connected with his Aspergers and let’s face it he was born that way he didn’t ask to have the condition so therefore he shouldn’t be treated as if he has himself to blamed every time something goes wrong. If little man is just being a ten-year old boy then I will be the first to put my hand up in agreement and have done when needed.

Well, to be honest I was quite excited about taking little man on a trip! it was only possible due to the fact his currently on half day schooling. So as this was the perfect opportunity we went for it.

So… wondering where it was we went? “No…. for once it wasn’t buses riding on the 450!” though that’s not far off! We actually visited London’s Covent Garden where you can find the all exciting Transport Museum. Not only was this ideal given that it was full to the rim with little mans interest, *buses* followed by tubes, trams & trains, but it was also very educational. The Museum does have learning facilities within the building and after a little conversation with a helpful member of staff on the Ins & outs of little mans situation he was shown into the learning lounge where he could use the IT software or read one of the many transport reference books. What made it even more great was the fact he did these things a long side children on a more “formal” school trip. He didn’t try to interact with these children but he didn’t abuse any off them either. I was grateful to that member of staff, he didn’t judge him and regardless of my shared information on the good and the sometimes challenging behaviour associated with his condition, he responded by stating “Everyone deserves a chance, and just because his not responded well before, who’s to say he won’t this time?” I stood thinking “Wow, people like you are like gold dust”

Well, Lucky for me my friend had come along on our “school trip” I was in need of some adult non bus based conversation and while little man did his stuff on the PC me and my friend grabbed a ten minute break (that turned out to be our only break of the day) Still I’m not complaining we did have a fantastic day, especially little man and that’s what we were there for, to give him something to enjoy! Of course there were times when little man was a little over excited, hyper or even frustrated (mainly because he wanted to be on the next item of transport before he had even left the one he was currently sat on) but through a collection of strategies we were able to successfully keep him on the right track. We did encounter a small episode towards the end off the day when leaving the Museum at closing time (yes we were there that long) but it could have been a whole lot worse. It was essential to spot any potential triggers and remove them or him before they had any undesirable effects. undoubtedly there is no need to explain why this is to any parent(s) of children on the spectrum, because they are likely to be the ones that “really” get it! But for those who don’t or just think they do….. Let’s just say.. if I hadn’t approached issues in this way the outcome would have been explosive!!!

I’m so…. pleased with the way our creation of a school trip planed out. After some essential planing that took place in the weeks leading up to the trip, these included little mans ideas and views on all aspects of the trip, a social story, countdown tick chat (visual aids), and journey planing (Little mans job, of course!) things went remarkable well.

And the fun didn’t end there! After the Transport Museum we went for dinner, followed by a short walk around the city, a fun-filled visit to Trocadero where we experienced the realisation of the 4D simulator and drove the bump a cars till I felt sick, finally hitting Starbucks for an espresso followed by a large skinny latte with cinnamon sprinkled on the froth  yummy.

After waving my friend off at Charing Cross station. Myself and the little dude boarded our train. We found a spot that just had the two seats (little man hates having to sit with all these “strange commuters” his words not mind!) and as I suddenly realised I was beat and was potentially asleep I felt his arms interlock around me, very tightly. Then came the kiss that he gentle placed on my forehead. “Thanks mum, I love you” came a voice… Wow getting kisses is like getting a night on the town (rare) “I Love you”, well they normally pop along when his done something wrong or wants something. This wasn’t the case today! And it felt so great that it wasn’t. Me and my little man were happy… really…really happy, and that my friends is priceless!

 

 

 

NO BUTLINS FOR US.!

Yes you have heard correctly! There’s not going to be a trip to Butlins after all. Why? Because as you can guess given a late and spontaneous decision to go it was fully booked up:(

OK I really should off seen that one coming. I always seem to have these ideas that little bit to late. Never mind Mum will put on that thinking cap (the one that I have worn many a times) Think it will be a few day trips here and there. G has already helped by putting some input into where we should be taking him. You don’t really have to ask what those ideas were do you? Yes the trip my little man had planned in his head was a day centered around the speedy trains and big red buses! I must add his also wanting a trip on the tram something his never been on before. Is this a new obsessions due to come about??

Alice wants to go swimming. Great me in my swimming costurm’ that’s something i haven’t done for a bit (years) So it’s not as if there’s a problem with us not taking our trip after all. Alice and G seem fine with there new plans’ and it don’t look as if I’m going to have any spare time on me hands! But that’s what it’s all about really! We have our children and we put our whole heart and soul into giving them the best. The life we wish for them to have:) It’s not like my two want a trip to Disney land! One wants to swim while the other wants to go bus riding. Well if that’s what will make there half term super fab then that’s what we are doing! Not only will it keep the children busy it may turn out to be a bit of fun.

I STILL PLAN TO POST PICTURES!!! SO BE WARNED. IF YOU DON’T LIKE PUBLIC TRANSPORT THEN BEST TO STAY AWAY:) LOL

TO BE CONTINUED………………..     

One off little mans many train pic's