Celebrating Mothers Day The Aspergers Way

Yesterday evening the little man asked me a question that was prompted by that of one of my own!

My question to him was… ‘Do you know what day it is tomorrow?’

His answer… ‘Um, yes… Its Sunday’

I then informed him that actually it was Mothering Sunday (aka Mother’s Day) to which he replied…

‘Oh, is it!’

Then came his question that actually really got me thinking for the duration of the evening!

‘Why?’ He asked!

Followed by…

‘What’s the point? Why do mothers need to have a special day? Why don’t we celebrate our son’s by having a. Son Day?’

‘Because mothers do lots for their children and its a day for their children to appreciate this’ I reminded him! To which his response was…

‘But you tell me I must appreciate you always’

Yes… I Give him that, he has a point!

Then he went on to ask…

‘Mum, honestly… Do you not see that its just a way for everyone to make money!’

You see, that’s the joys of having a child on the spectrum! Such logical little thinkers who don’t really dress anything up to make it sound pretty.

I was then informed that unless his dad had brought me a card then maybe I shouldn’t expect to much as I know how much he struggles with drawing and colouring.

He means no offence… honestly.His just saying it how it is! Actually I wouldn’t expect anything less!

Does it upset me that he fails to notice that his sister is busy in the next room preparing a work of art with glue and tissue paper? Does it make me sad that his all zoned out chatting to his online friends about the world of Mindcraft rather than showering his mother in Mother’s Day kisses? No! OK, may it used to a little, but it doesn’t anymore! Why? Because without sounding corny he is a gift in himself, all my children are.

Little man has been off school a couple of days this week with the flu and I normally find that school is the place that gives him those gentle little reminders when such occasions as these arise.

I remember when he was in primary school and every year when they made cards to mark the celebration of Mother’s Day, little man’s cards would always feature trains or buses, normally with a stick man and an arrow with the words ‘Me.. Driving the bus’ spilled out above it. I remember standing talking to a mother as we waited for our children to be released at the end of the school day. Her child came rushing out and almost forced a card into her hand. I can clearly remember the design, one that displayed an almost 3D image of pretty Daffodils. The centres of each flower made with sections of a painted egg cartons, petals made of yellow tissue paper and pipe cleaners proudly displayed as storks. Little man didn’t run out and hand me a card he was to much in a rush to get home to his sanctuary (aka bedroom). By now myself, this mother and our children were now walking side by side out of the school gates when she suddenly asked.. ‘Where is your card’ I was half convinced I didn’t have one but before I could say anything, little man had rooted around in his book bag and had now presented me with one! I smiled… that proud mummy smile as I looked a my card that of course displayed a somewhat different image from that of the other mothers card! Yes… A little stick man, only this time, that little stick man was driving a train as opposed to a bus.

“Does mummy drive trains” the mother asked my little man in her cheeky giggly tone.

Now I can’t quite remember his response, we are talking back when he was around 7 years old and still in the infants section of primary school. What I do remember was that his response was one of the “No Nonsense Type” as he rightfully pointed out that my hair was much longer than that of the hair on his stick man and the important factor that mum wouldn’t know if she liked driving trains as she has never driven one! Mum can’t even drive a car!

The mother smiled before she went on to wrongfully state that “Mothers” prefer flowers for Mother’s Day!

I was quick to correct her mistake when announcing that actually this “Mother” prefers trains!

You see little man wasn’t really one to pick up a pencil and start to draw unless prompted to do so. He struggled with his fine motor skills and even though he was yet to receive an official diagnosis of Aspergers, I’d always known that their was something stopping him from expressing himself on paper. So, the fact that he’d actually made this card for me and drawn it by himself was actually better than that of a hundred Daffodils made from egg cartons and tissue paper.

Every year up in till year 4 of his primary school years, he made me this card (always almost the same). Sadly once in year 4 things really started changing. It was this year major concerns began to arise. It was the year of illegal exclusions, disability discrimination and constant battles with both the school and LEA. My little man just stopped picking up a pencil/pen whatsoever. He wrote less then a sentence in a whole school year and carried on this way in till I removed him in year 5. It was only once he started with a one 2 one tutor instead of attending school (at this point no school were willing to take him) that slowly he began writing and drawing again.

I guess that my point is that each one of my three beautiful children all make me proud to be a mother. For us there is no traditional way to celebrate a Mothering Sunday… In our house we tend to do things the Aspergers way like we do almost any other day!

Happy Mothers Day. Xxx

Its All Smiles At Ours

Earlier this afternoon I was on twitter when I discovered a link to a competition from Lucozade. I had to enter as the prize was for two people to watch Chelsea train next week, followed by VIP match tickets next Sunday (Chelsea Vs West Ham) including a 3 course meal and champaign reception.

Little man was off school today as it seems that his now got the flu (the one I’ve had this past week)! When entering the competition, Little man commented, “You won’t win Mum, thousands of fans will be entering!” Well he was wrong, when I arrived home from the supermarket this evening an email pinged and there in the header were the words “Congratulations”

Little man’s face was a picture… He stood stunned before letting out a huge roar as he danced round the room, not letting the flu hold him back!

I rang the number in the email and had it all confirmed. I now have one very excited little man on my hands.
Admittedly I would have liked to hold it back for a few days but I was actually really excited myself and kinda blurted it out as soon as I read the email. Why might I’d liked to leave it a day or two before informing him? Well, his a kid like any other and he will drive me potty with his excitement I’m sure. Then again he is a child with Aspergers and I will need to prepare him for our trip so in many ways its great that I’ll have the time to do this…. Please no swearing at the match… No swearing at the match… No swearing at the match! Yes, his already heard these words a 100 times since we discovered we won!

So… Here’s hoping we can get one of his shirts signed after training. I have all my fingers and toes crossed as this would be a truly magical experience for him.

There are very little things that excite my son… Transport, WWE, Mindcraft & Chelsea FC are right up there in his list of top interests. Winning the competition is great because I know its something I’d never be able to afford otherwise and seeing the smile its created is the best Mother’s Day gift ever!

Look What I Found!

Little man has always had a very keen interest in transport from around the age of two. His now 12 and is still studying the ins and outs of trains and buses, though he also now loves WWE wrestling just as much!

Sorting through some papers yesterday I came across a card little man had made me when he first started school (mainstream year 1). He was around 5 or 6 years old at the most! Here it is below…

He doesn’t really like to engage in art as he struggles with his fine motor skills so does almost everything on a computer. That’s why the above card is even more special to me. He has even coloured his picture, something he now refuses to do in fear of not being able to keep the colours within the lines of his drawing.

And look whats inside this cute train card….

A lovely message to mummy (that’s me) though I think looking at the handwriting, it wasn’t little man who wrote it! Plus there is a very cute picture of the little man himself in the school playground.

Here’s a close up…

I love unearthing these little hidden treasures. Children provide us with the most wonderful memories. This ones definitely going in the scrapbook!

Big fat Yawns

Yes, I’m tired… I look like poo and feel like it too. The past few weeks have been anything but leisurable.

I’m laid here on the bed blogging from my mobile, I can’t even be bothered to turn the Mac on as that would require me to sit up and right now that feels like an impossible mission.

So… An update! Little man went back to school last week having been off for an entire week with a sickness bug and a very sore cold sore (when you have Aspergers and a string of sensory sensitivities a cold sore is highly unpleasant) whats more his sleeping pattern became highly erratic which affected us all as a family.

Now I’m used to little man not sleeping to the early hours but something had to give. Little man wasn’t sleeping throughout the night at all and come the beginning of this week there was no signs of this getting any better. Having spent another entire night awake Little man started to settle down and become sleepy at around 6am. I, however had other ideas and decided I couldn’t take another day nor night of it and instead of crawling to my bed like I so wanted too, I instead used what little energy I had left in me, keeping the little man awake.

He wasn’t impressed and bad tempered was an understatement but in order to get him so tired that he’d have no option but to sleep that night I had him feed and dressed ready for school at 8.30am… Despite an entire sleepless night.

Some may say I’m evil and I guess in a way, yes I am! Yet it worked. Ok , he didn’t have the best day at school and my guess is he didn’t feel none to lively, neither, but he got home, ate dinner with half closed eyes and fell crashing into his bed at a somewhat alarmingly early 6 PM… Something I thought I’d surly never see!

Still, this hasn’t erased all his problems when it comes to sleep, he still struggles greatly…. Nonetheless, what it has done is remind him of the pure yucky feeling that comes with a day at school when you haven’t rested your eyes or mind for over 24hrs… And no one actually wants to feel that poo do they?

With this his been more eager to try to sleep at a reasonable hour. Its not been a 100% success story but when one wants to rest their mind it does become that much easier. With this there has been a slight decrease in the nightly antics! These include… Acting out his favourite WWE superstar entrance scene, talking non stop WWE to ones self and that of his constant note jotting on ideas for Mindcraft builds at crazy O’clock! I think maybe his trying to have a catch up, I just wished my body clock would now jolt so I could join him and do the same.

So… Now I’m yawning big fat yawns. Looking at the mess around me (seriously, there’s a fair amount) I think to myself… “Sod It” and instead I’ll bid you all a good night (or should I say good morning)?

What Children With Aspergers Really Want For Christmas

Now, I’m not about to go all soppy by stating “That all our children with aspergers really want for Christmas is an appropriate school place and less judgement”because that wouldn’t be true.

Like any child, children with autism and Aspergers have their own interest, hobbies and Christmas wish list.

Every single year in the lead up to Christmas I find that many new readers find my blog as a result of googling terms such as “What to buy the child with Aspergers for Christmas” or “Gift ideas for children with autism and sen”

Every year we do the ‘Santa’s Little Helpers’ feature where the children showcase and review some toys. This year I’ve been a bit busier than other years so the feature has been on a much lower scale than previous. However, any review that little man does tends to get pretty high page views for the above reasons.

Over the years little mans Christmas list has been anything other than average… Its featured many a bizarre item, from padlocks to safes, batteries to working shop tills. One year we even got a request for a whole crate of fizzy drinks.

This year as he approaches his teen years the list seems somewhat more “normal” in terms of its contents. Well, that’s except for the request to hang out with Drew McIntyre his WWE idol and that of a life sized 4D simulator (needless to say both requests are somewhat out of my reach)! As you can see, Little man isn’t the type of child who scores the Argos catalog for ideas.

With this, I thought it would be interesting to pop over to my Facebook page “A boy with Aspergers” and ask some of the members there what their child with Aspergers has requested for Christmas whether this year or in past years.

Its important to remember that despite any diagnosis, all children with Aspergers have different likes and dislikes, yet unsurprising the results show lost of similarities.

Firstly – LEGO seems to be that of the biggest contender, especially when it comes to boys on the spectrum. Many will know that my little man started to discover the joys of LEGO a few years back and as a result it featured heavily on last years Christmas list and has subsequently made a return this year.

Many of the members over on the ‘A boy with Aspergers’ Facebook page state that their child has either asked for Lego StarWars, Lego Hero’s or just LEGO full stop.

One member told me “Anytime people ask my son what present he wants for any occasions they will get the answer in number form. Because my son’s world revolves around LEGO and its not a ‘Lego truck’ its the model number 4435 or whatever the number maybe”

Other answers highlight that younger children on the spectrum have developed obsessional interests in super heroes with Batman being one child’s special interest for the past 6 years. This child’s Christmas list consists off Batman Merchandise and again LEGO.

It’s also apparent from reading members replies that as their children have aged many of the their requests have changed and now focus on technology. Xbox and PS3 appears a number of times with one member mentioning the new Book of Spells which little man is currently reviewing and thinks is wonderful.

Some members stated how their child wanted to connect with others online to play games over that of the PS3 or Xbox networks. I can relate to this as since little man got his PS3 in October for his birthday, he has discovered the joy of connecting with friends (mainly our extended family) to play against them on FIFA or WWE.

Another big contender was of course the IPad. Is it any surprise? Even I’m wishing for the latest iPad.

Most of the members on the page that took part in the discussion, are parents to boys on the spectrum but a few parents to girls were also happy to share their daughters wish list. One of the page admins shared that her daughter has actually asked for a fridge for her bedroom where another member stated that her daughter wanted money so she could bank it. Yes, this little girl wants her own farm in the middle of nowhere and is already saving for it (and no, I’m not talking about a plastic toy farm but that of an actual farm). Another little girl has asked for a unicorn pillow, slippers and a Star Wars DVD box set (which seems to be popular with both the girls and the boys).

Another item that reappeared more than once was that of spy items such as spy pens and night vision goggles. Again, I can relate as Little man is in love with a spy watch that has a dictaphone and secretly video records (yes, it does actually tell the time too)!

In terms of the more bizarre items here’s some that made me giggle…

Magnets (boy)
A Custard Doughnut (boy 5)
Feather Duster (little girl)
Farm In the Middle of Nowhere ( girl 11)
Cell Phone & Pocket Knife (boy 5)
Electric Leaf Blower (boy 6)
Pyjamas With Feet (boy 9)
To Be Just Like Santa Himself (boy)
Lottery Ticket/Scratch card (boy 7)
Fridge in bedroom (girl 10)
A white keyboard without computer (boy)

Biggest Contenders

LEGO
MOBILE PHONES
IPADS
SPY TOYS
STAR WARS
WWE
TRAIN SETS
PS3
XBOX
LAPTOPS
LASERS
HOTWHEELS
HARRY POTTER
SUPER HEROS (Batman etc)
SONIC
JAMES BOND DVDS
SKYLANDERS

Ooo… I almost forgot one… Mindcraft seems to be on everyone’s most wanted list too!

Special Thank You – This post was put together with the help from members of the Facebook page ‘A Boy With Aspergers’ Thank you so much to those who took part in the discussion.
Claire- Louise. Xx

The Shit Rap

Poo, yes we all produce it, it’s something that is completely natural (even if it isn’t very pleasant to talk about). But do I want to keep hearing about poo all day, more so, do I want to hear it with a tune… Hell no!

For some unknown reason the little man has acquired a bit of a fixation with YouTube. If this isn’t bad enough, he seems to think its bloody hilarious to keep adding the word poo in the search box.

Now if I hear one more silly made up absolutely bloody rubbish song about poo, then I might just go hunt down the silly idiot who made the stupid YouTube music video and do them some serious damage.

Now although I’m not really finding the poo music videos in anyway funny, the little man certainly is! He can be heard laughing out loud whenever his watching one. Yes… It’s lovely something is giving him something to smile about but poo… Really!

Wait, it actually gets worse! Little man seems to have been inspired by this load of S*#t (and i mean that literally). Being woken up during the crazy hours (crazy hours being 4am) because your child has come up with the perfect poop song isn’t really ideal, I mean who wants to wake up to find their 11 year old child at the foot of their bed singing a poo rap… No thank you!

Admittedly his rap was creative, yet I really don’t feel the poo rap is going to catch on.

So, yesterday myself and the little man sat down for a chat… One of mums “special chats” Seriously, Little man needs a firm talking about his unhealthy poo obsession… I really don’t need this becoming a “special interest” because then I’ll really be in trouble!

Now, trying to explain the inappropriateness that is his poo rapping, to a giggling child on the autism spectrum is a hard task to meet, I mean he has little regard for who’s in his company when hitting on the subject of poo. Little man finds poo funny, but interesting to I guess… Especially considering his been asking random poo questions. It’s so much harder explaining to little man what’s socially acceptable and what isn’t. I mean just the other other day he began singing his poo rap out loud off the bus! Of course i felt my cheeks glow a shade of red. I was just longing to get of the bus and actually got of 3 stops to early. It’s simple… If the Little Man finds it funny then the rest of the world must too!

It’s now 4.30 am Little man is sleeping and me… I’ve got the poo rap going round and around in my head. I think I’m going to have to lock that Internet or someone maybe driven insane and that someone is most defiantly me!