A Case Of Miscommunication

So, my mum says to little man while his having a “moment”

“You can’t just go around hitting anyone you fancy”

He had just lost his temper and hit out at his sister!

Little man replies, and with a temper I must add!

“Nanny your disgusting are you suggesting I fancy my own sister?”

It was one of those moments and mum couldn’t help but to laugh. However laughing was not on little man’s agenda!

“Don’t laugh at me nan” he screamed as he kicked the wall and throw himself on the floor.

You see, when talking to little man we have always tried to remember to put things in a way that is easy for him to grip a hold off and fully understand. Using metaphors and words that have two meanings can get confusing for little man, but over time he has learnt certain metaphors and their meanings (though this is mainly as a result of a past miscommunication).

Even though I am careful in how I speak to little man I’m also aware that I can’t be there all of the time and in actual fact, to some degree he needs these miscommunications In order to learn from them and go on to be successful in whatever it is he chooses to do in life.

Every time little man hears a certain metaphor we try our best to explain its true meaning to him! This doesn’t necessarily mean he understands it, or should I say… “Agrees” with it! His response will normally be something along the lines off… ‘Whats the point in that mum?’ or “Thats just stupid because why would anyone even have Skeletons in their closet?” Though, regardless of what he thinks about it, he will usually store the term along with its correct meaning for his own future reference.

My point is, and its an important one! That our children on the autism spectrum will find themselves in situations like this. If we forever try to wrap them up in cotton wool, insisting that those who speak to them do so in a totally unambiguous manner all of the time, then what happens ten, twenty years down the line when your child is at work in the office, and having been a little moody to a fellow colleague that colleague, jokingly tells them ‘Ok, Ok … Don’t get your knickers in a twist’ Things could be taken completely out of context. I can Imagine Little man’s reaction to such a term ,having no idea that it was in fact a turn of phase, he’d be inclined to tell him that he doesn’t wear knickers and if anything doesn’t much like wearing underpants either.

I’m not saying that when our children go of to school in the morning, the teachers looking after them, should greet them with some low life wise crack comment. Teachers should do their best not to confuse the child with their language but like us, their parents, teachers should be their to explain such metaphors when and if our children encounter them. Given we all use these silly little sayings so often, one or two are bound to slip out now and then from someone, somewhere along the line. But then isn’t better they hear them now rather when they are 25?

Don’t forget this month is Autism Awareness month and despite the need to raise awareness everyday, why not start with today and share something with your family and friends directing them to this post.

Do you see what I see?

I see a boy sat alone, yet smiling and playing

You see a loner, the strange kid, the odd one!

I see a boy frustrated, confused and distressed

You see a brat with no respect, no decent upbringing!

I see a boy stood talking, trying to make a connection, a possible friend. He gets it wrong because of something he said wasn’t seen as appropriate. His been left rejected and upset.

You see a trouble maker, a boy who is rude and makes it his mission to offend.

I see a boy walk into a busy playground, I then see parents like you shaking your heads as you rush to gather your kids. I now see a boy stood playing in a large empty space alone!

You see “That Kid” from before, the one who swore as he throw himself on the floor, shouting at children like yours for accidentally running into him, pushing him as they chased a ball.

I see a boy stood drawing a tear as he watches the school coach leaving!.

You see the boy who ruins it for others. you see it as a blessing that he isn’t attending the school trip. Beyond this you see nothing.

I see a gathering of mothers stood at the school gate laughing. I see the reaction they give as I’m passing… Silence whispers and staring.

You see that mother, the one who drags up her kids… Failing to install good values, respect and self discipline

I see a sweet boy who has the tendency to become easily distressed

You see a boy who throws a wobbler whenever he fails to get the things that he wants.

I see a boy excitedly speaking to others about his interest. He speaks quickly announcing all he knows on the subject. A boy who hasn’t yet released its his time to quit speaking .

You see a boy who dominates conversation, his rude letting no one get a word in edge ways. You see a bore, a child who is self obsessed and selfish… Spoilt and for that you blame me… The parent.

I see a boy who counts to ten before speaking a child who has learnt that this may stop him from potentially offending.

You see an odd boy, one who can only be described as slow and profoundly stupid.

I see a boy who cares about “The Rules” who therefore reminds his peers that those rules are not to be broken.

You see a boy who is bossy. A child who is likely raised by a control freak!

I see a boy who is actually very bright, he has qualities that others could only hope for. I see a boy who continuously tries to get it right. A boy who gets up every time his knocked down, never giving up, nor giving in. Yes he can be naughty his a boy after all. But should you gather your kids and run when you see him… No! why… what ever for?

You see nothing I see.. How could you ever see what I see if you refuse to look a little closer.

You can’t see autism, it doesn’t get stamped on the head of a baby at birth. But knowing just how autism can present is an education you need. With numbers rising there is a good chance the child who sits next to yours at school or even that work colleague you have drinks with on Friday is on the autism spectrum.

My child like many is capable of just as much as you or I. He is an individual, with interests, talents, weaknesses and at time difficulties… We all are as human beings.

Certain areas of his brain work somewhat differently making some areas of life more challenging… Social communication, sensory processing and black and white thinking are to name but a few! Yet that doesn’t mean he should be judged or discriminated against.

Its not the traits of autism that make my sons life more challenging but the way others perceive them traits. His happy with himself 98% of the time and just wants you to except him but more importantly… Understand him!

After all… Where does being “Average” get you?

So I ask you… One this day aimed at raising awareness for those with autism and Asperger’s syndrome. Do you see what I see?

Or Will you at least try to see it Now?

A Children’s Picture Book That Children With Aspergers Can Relate To

I was lucky enough to be sent a review copy of a fabulous new children’s picture book from Flashlight press, all the way in the US.

And how gratefully received this was! Its a picture book like non I’ve read before! One that highlights one of the common autism traits I know all to well… The ability to be that little bit too honest!

I actually found myself laughing out loud as I read the book “Being Frank” as there was one particular part that reminded me of an incident at little man’s school! Actually it was almost the exact same scenario. In the book Frank is a little too honest (as the title suggests) and on one occasion he tells the teacher that her breath smells funny and is therefore sent to the principal as a result of his honesty. Ok, little man didn’t inform the teacher of her funny smelling breath, he instead told the head teacher that his breath smelt like his grandmas dogs.

Anyone who parents a child on the autism spectrum can easily spot the trait in Franks honest manner. Franks motto is that “Honesty is the best policy” He tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! Only he soon begins to realise that its not always appreciated, especially by adults. Frank is only being honest when he tells his mother she has lots of wrinkles as a result of her glaring at him, and even worse, when his mother is stopped by the police for speeding and frank informs the policeman that his mother was aware she was speeding as he had already told her so.

Frank learns with the help of his grandpa that yes it is important to be honest but its all about being tactful when you do.

Its all about a “Little more sugar and a bit less pepper!”

This is a real enjoyable and funny story with some lovely but all the same , hilarious illustrations. I think children with Aspergers in particular, will really be able to relate to frank. The book could well be used as a great social skills training tool and resource. Its one I’ll be recommending to families of children on the autism spectrum for sure.

Being Frank
Is written by Donna Earnhardt, and illustrated by Andrea Castellani

Being Frank was a runner up in the About.com readers choice awards

Sadly its not widely available here in the UK but its really worth getting one shipped over.

Check it out over at Flashlight Press

Little Man Puts All His Social Skills Training Into Practice When He Meets His Favourite Chelsea Players

I can not begin to put into words what an amazing day, today has been.

If you’ve read my recent posts, you will already know how I won the opportunity to take little man to watch his team ‘Chelsea FC’ training today at Cobham, in preparation for their home game against West Ham this coming Sunday (17th March). What’s more, we are also invited to the match. As winners we have been handed VIP Platinum tickets to the game. This package offers the works, its the ultimate in VIP experience and with tickets costing between £700 – £800 each on the Chelsea official website, we are overwhelmed to have been given this amazing opportunity! One I never could have afforded otherwise.

Well, back to today… We woke up nice and early and set of to Cobham and Stoke with all our fingers crossed that little man would get to meet his football heroes. The PRs who contacted me over my win were made aware of little man’s aspergers Syndrome and they were great on the day. Little man did so well, given he was full of excitement and had very little sleep the previous night, he still managed to deal with it all really well.

Lucky for us it was decided that training would take place inside rather than outside. I say lucky because it was absolutely freezing with high speed winds playing complete havoc with my already wild untamed hair. This also meant we were even closer to the action with the players training just a few feet away from us.

Little man wasn’t at all star struck at this point. While there was some distance between himself and his footy heroes, I think it still felt a little dreamy.

Then it was the moment of truth! No one knew for sure if we would get to meet the players but we were told to bring Chelsea memorabilia for possible signing plus a camera as there may possibly be photo opportunities. You, see it was all a case of maybe and of course such uncertainty for a child on the autism spectrum is torture. We discovered we had won on the Friday and this was his first question. I did just consider saying it wasn’t an option as to lower his heightening suspense but even though it would have been my idea of being kind, he would have been most upset as the surprise may just have been to much. He wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as he should have due to the whole unexpectedness of it… He needs to be prepared for something as big as this, so I decided that if we didn’t get given the opportunity to meet the players then I’d much rather deal with his disappointment then that of his confusion and shock if we did.

Well, the photos say it all! He was a very lucky boy and I’ll never forget the look on his face as he saw Ashley Cole making his way over to say hello! Yes, I’ve honestly never seen such a look on his face… I guess this is what they call star struck! I was so proud of how he held his excitement together as he greeted the players. He was even starting conversations… Rehearsed I think, though brilliant all the same.

Posing with Ashley Cole

Little man with John Terry

Picture with Luiz

Little man made sure he greeted each player and had them all sign his Chelsea football shirt which he was wearing.

I even got a quick snap with the lovely Frank Lampard…

Not my most flattering but how could I not share

It was wonderful seeing my Little Man so happy. He left the training ground on a real high and still can’t stop talking about this day.

Bring on Sundays Match, that’s all I can say!

Thanks so much to the guys at Lucozade and Chelsea FC for making Little man’s day a truly remarkable one! I really don’t think them boys in blue release how much joy they brought to a little guys face who over the years hasn’t found much to smile about.

THANK YOU FROM BOTH OF US.

Tips – Parenting a Child With Olfactory Dysfunction (Hypersensitivity to Smell)

Children on the autism spectrum often have traits of SPD (sensory processing disorder) which could affect any one, if not all of their seven senses.

In my last blog post I gave some tips on parenting a child with Tactile Defensiveness (Hypersensitivity to touch) today I want to write about Olfactory Dysfunction (Hypersensitivity to smells).

Its important to note that not all children with sensory processing problems will be hypersensitive to sensory stimulus. Some children will experience under sensitivity (under responsive to certain sensory stimulus). Where others, like Little man, can experience both.

Yes, in some areas, our Little man is known as a Sensory Seeking” But though this is true we have found that he is more hypersensitive than under sensitive, especially when it comes down to tactile stimulus.

Although little man does have difficulties with all off his senses, olfactory (smell) fortunately, is one of the least challenging (well, compared to that of his tactile senses). Nonetheless, it does still make things difficult for him. Luckily, Little man is given Occupational therapy as part of his statement and as a result he is learning ways to deal with certain types of hypersensitivity. However, he hasn’t always undergone Occupational therapy and as a parent I’ve had to learn what his triggers are and how to avoid heightening them.

Tip: Change Washing Powders!

If you use a highly Fragrance washing powered, this could well be a tigger for your child’s meltdowns. Try using sensitive washing powders that are fragrance free. I found that the fairy washing powder works well for us.

Tip: Reduce The Amount Of Perfume You Wear When You Are With Your Child.

I used to wear a certain perfume that drove the Little man nuts. It actually gave him headaches so I didn’t have a choice but to stop wearing it in his company. The fact it wasn’t cheap and priced at the higher end of the market made no difference to little man. Seriously… It was, and still is my favourite scent ever! yet I can hardly ever wear it!

Tip: Experiment with foods

Your child may say he/she doesn’t like a certain type of food without even tasting it! Little man could so easy be put off something simply due to the way it smelt. Sometimes its better to use different cooking techniques as some ways of cooking certain foods let of less smells than others. We could never cook scrambled eggs with little man in the house. Even his sister or brother eating a bag of wootsits or other cheesy snack within distance of him would set him off.

I’ve found that certain brands of the same food are less fragrant than others. Sometimes its just better to avoid certain foods altogether, other times I cook them when little man is out of the house.

Tip: Natural Cleaning products

Not only is it cheaper to make your own cleaning products but for a parent who’s child is hypersensitive to certain smells, it can be a way of removing a meltdown trigger. Using lemons and vinegar mixed with borax and bicarbonate of soda makes a great solution to tackle household dirt and grime. Fresh lemons will provide a fresh scent throughout the home, that isn’t too over powering for your child.

Tip: A Good Sensory Diet

Use different scents together to create fun sensory play. A good idea is to gather certain objects together, make the child close their eyes and then guess what the item is your holding simply by smelling it. Of course there will be smells they are hypersensitive too but this way you won’t only discover which smells they cannot tolerate, but those they like too. This means you could then try introducing more of these scents into the home. Maybe you discover that they like the scent of strawberry! You could then replace air freshners with this scent. Plus, by playing such games regularly your child could adapt to certain smells, therefore reacting to them much less in the future. Make sensory games fun, offering certain rewards for correct guesses making children more inclined to want to play.

Tip: Good Social Skills Training

This may seem odd but in fact its very relevant. Children on the autism spectrum can be quite abrupt! They have this tendency to say what it is they are thinking out loud. This is regardless of whether its Inappropriate to do so or regardless of hurting someone’s feelings. Basically if they think you smell funny then nine out of ten times they are gonna inform you you of it, no matter who’s listening! It may be simply because a friend is wearing a perfume they don’t like or maybe the teacher has bad breath. Teaching a child when its OK to say things can help reduce social problems.

Little man got into really big trouble at mainstream school when he told the head teacher that his breath smelt like a dogs… so could he please not talk close to his face. The fact the whole school was gathered in the hall really didn’t help the situation whatsoever.

Social skills training is beneficial for the child on the autism spectrum for countless reasons… This is just one of them.

Let Me Tell You About Matthew!

I only met Matthew a week or so ago, his not even really a friend of mine.

The story of how we met is an important, yet interesting one, that goes something like this!

So, it was late… Gone half past one in the morning. A friend was staying over at mine which meant she was able to watch the children while I dashed to the 24hr petrol garage at the end of my road. Now I don’t normally make a habit of taking late night trips to the garage, but there are times when a girl needs some chocolate and this was very much one of those times.

So… Moving on… Matthew who I was yet to meet, was being quite loud as he walked across the car park leading to the garage. I thought that maybe a couple of lads had likely drunk to much and were now on their way over! Well, I was wrong!

Matthew, around 20 years old, dressed in all the latest clobber (stylish trainers, jeans and a hoody) was walking with a middle aged man and a dog. By now I was busy trying to direct the woman on the other side of the glass window around the shop floor like some crazy lady as I demonstrated a string of erratic arm movements and silly actions in order for her to select the items that I wanted! (seriously, her face when I showed her 5 fingers indicating that I wanted 5 cream eggs was a picture.)

Matthew was now stood staring at me, admittedly, I did feel a little uncomfortable at first! Back at the glass window Matthew then started speaking to me. In all honesty, he wasn’t making much sense when he grabbed ahold of my arm while laying his head on my shoulder and requesting I take him home.

By now a reasonable length queue had formed. People were trying to keep their distance from Matthew who was now making his way down the queue asking those in it a string of strange &random questions mainly surrounding the topic of what car they were driving.

I looked at the guy with the dog, he smiled and shook his head saying… “I’ve just met the young lad can’t seem to shake him off” I nodded as I stroked his dog.

“How do you know his name?” I asked.

“He told me” he replied.

He then went on to state…

“Actually he wouldn’t stop talking about motoring, how certain vehicles are made, who makes them and so forth”

With that something clicked within my head…

“No…. surely not! No… I’m reading to much into it” I thought.

Now, I had paid for my items and should have been heading home. It was late after-all and I didn’t want my friend to worry but something inside me just stopped me from leaving.

Matthew was now stood by my side. He was telling me he was cold and asking for my coat. I explained that I was also cold and that my coat was designed for a woman and wouldn’t actually fit him.

At this point an extremely rowdy woman dressed in very little and so obviously a little worse for wear shouted “For Goodness Sake, he don’t want your coat his going to rob you, you silly cow”

Moving my eyes in her direction, my request for her was that she should simply shout up.

By this point I had decided that I’d probably been gone long enough for my friend to call out a search party so turned around and started to walk away.

The middle aged man and his dog were now ready to leave and I could hear him talking to the dog as he walked behind me. Suddenly I felt the sensation that someone was incredibly close to me. Before I knew it these hands just grabbed ahold of my shoulders. Throwing my whole body around I see Matthew!

“Oi Matthew, Get Off her” Cried the guy with the dog.

“What do you want?” I asked. Followed by the question… “Matthew.. Are you Ok?”

He was now crying, begging that I’ll walk him home. He then went on to tell me through muffled speech that the drunk lady had gone and told him to fuck off!

Something wasn’t right! Matthew may have looked the part, young fresh faced, nicely clothed with one or two cheeky one liners.

Matthew so clearly wasn’t drunk and if he was planning on robbing me I’m sure he would have done so by now!

As I took hold of his arms to move them from me (his grip had become tight and uncomfortable) His sleeve slightly shifted from his wrist and there it was… An ID bracelet. Taking his arm I held it into the light to get a closer look. “Matthew… Do you have autism” I asked as I looked up into his eyes only for him to quickly look away.

“Well, he can’t have!” said the guy with the dog who had come running to my rescue”

“He… He looks so normal” he said as he shook his head in disbelief. Yes, I guess he was displaying a certain amount of ignorance, though intentional this was not! Actually this man was one of the only people in that queue who actually didn’t misjudge him as a robbing thug.

I took out my phone from my pocket and punched in the numbers that were scripted on his bracelet. I then told him I’d be staying right there with him in till his mother had arrived to collect him.

Matthew seemed pleased with that idea and suddenly peace had been restored. We sat on the wall facing the car park, and as we were sat here Matthew went on to share with me his love in motoring. He was incredibly intelligent and had so obviously self taught himself well on the subject. In many ways he reminded me of my Little man.

Matthews mother was lovely. Turns out that Matthew was thought to have been in his room sleeping. She told me that Matthew had a diagnosis of HFA (high functioning autism) sadly he had never been given much support when in education and as a result his social skills were very poor. I then learnt that although Matthew Is capable of going out alone, at night he struggle as he becomes quite frighted. Regardless of this fact, he has such an interest in checking out the vehicles in the car park that he just goes on autopilot. Its only once he has indulged his interest that he realises how late it is and then starts requesting that strangers assist him home. His mother informs me that the bracelet is handy but he forgets his wearing it. It really was lucky I’d seen it as the last time this happened he had ended up spending the night be hide bars.

We walked up together. Turns out they live just off my road.

My friend looked relieved to see me alive and was just about to wake three sleeping kids to come look for me! Lucky for me she understood once I’d explained.

Let… This be a lesson to you all! You really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Things are not always as they first seem… Matthew is proof of that!

Get The Answers You Require From The Talk about Autism Family Support Live Q&A Session

As a parent who has a child on the Autism spectrum I know how frustrating it can be looking for answers. Thats why I’m really excited to share some excellent news with you… Ambitious about Autism the national charity dedicated to improving opportunities for people with autism, who run an online community called ‘Talk about autism‘ have come up with the Family Support Season of live online Q&A.

The charity has come up with 4 discussion topics that parents with children on the autism spectrum voted upon late last year. The whole programme has been designed to offer both parents and carers professional advice from leading experts within the autism sector.

Each of the four sessions will take place live on the web over at the Talk about autism website. Finally parents will have the opportunity to get some of the answers they have been searching for whether its about challenging behaviour or socialising with peers the parent support season’s Q&A sessions will do its best to answer those questions.

The first session has already taken place back on the 16th January. The session covered the topic… ‘Getting the right support at school’ Nonetheless you can still read the entire transcript on the evenings topic over on their website. The session covered areas such as access to education, statements of sen, exclusion and more. The transcript is packed full of great advice what with the specialist advisers being Jill Davies, Manager of the Special Educational Needs (SEN) Helpline at Contact and Family, and Steve Broach of Doughty Street Chambers, who is an expert on the rights of ‘children in need’ and disabled adults. This was the first of four live sessions and a great success. Its my guess the remaining three will be just as valuable in the advise they offer.

The second live Q&A session is set to take place on the 30th January 2013 and the discussion topic is that of ‘Understanding & Managing Challenging Behaviour‘. The evenings professionals will be Dr Emma Douglas, a Senior Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) Consultant from TreeHouse School, and Richard Hastings, Professor of Psychology at Bangor University in Wales. So, if you are currently experiencing problems with challenging behaviour and are looking for advice this seems like a pretty good place to start.

As a parent to a young man with Aspergers Syndrome we’ve experienced our fair share of meltdowns and aggressive behaviours. Little man is 12 now and I often worry he doesn’t know his own strength when hitting out at other. We have had some particularly bad mornings before school when little man has thrown punches in my direction. His violence scared me! With a frightening temper I had to sought help but it didn’t come easy. I just wish there was something like the live Q&A session available back when I needed it. This topic will sure to be a life line for parents all over the world.

The remaining two sessions after that will commence on the 13 February 2013 & the 27 February 2013.

These sessions will be as follows…

Puberty, sex and relationships (13th February 2013)
Experts for the session: Lesley Kerr-Edwards, Director of Image in Action, and Professor Jahoda, Professor of Learning Disabilities at the University of Glasgow.

Supporting your child to socialise and make friends (27 February 2013).
Experts for this session: Jennifer Cook O’Toole, education specialist and author of The Asperkids Book of Social Rules – the Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens with Asperger’s Syndrome, and Andrew Swartfigure, Senior Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) Consultant at TreeHouse School.

Well, I’m definitely marking the 13th February 2013 in my diary. This is a topic that I myself have a number of questions in need of answering (googling can only provide so much)! My 12 year old is fast approaching puberty and don’t I know it! Puberty and the issue of sex is a hard enough topic for any parent to face but for those of children on the autism spectrum, it is an area of constant worry and struggle.

All sessions are live and will last one hour. Each live Q&A will commence at 8pm and finish at 9pm on the dates given.

To receive a reminder about any of the live support sessions visit the website and sign up for a reminder by email.

So, there you have it! Four great topics all live and interactive. How about popping along, maybe get a specific question answered or just follow the thread to see what others have to say. Don’t forget, all sessions will appear as transcripts following the live event allowing those of you who can’t make it on night, the opportunity to have a read. Who knows maybe you’ll still find the answer to that question you need answering.

Would love it if readers could share this on there chosen social networks. By reaching out we give parents the opportunity to gain the support they desperately need.

To find out how Live Q&A sessions work click Here

Disclaimer… This is a sponsored post for the autism charity Ambitious about autism. All words are my own.

Tips for preparing preschoolers with Aspergers for full time education

School isn’t an easy place for the child on the autism spectrum. Here’s some tips to prepare preschoolers on the autism spectrum for what lies ahead as well as some tips designed to help you, the parent, find the right school for your child.

1- If possible introduce your child to a play school or a nursery setting so that they are given the opportunity to get used to being around other children. If you don’t, then you run the risk of problems when it becomes compulsory that your child is educated.

2- Introduce social stories that are centred around that of your child’s first day at school. Continue using social stories that cover school in general… especially trips, sports days and other activities that don’t happen on a daily basis.

3- When deciding on what school to send your child, take your time looking into the different options. If your child has a statement you also have the option of looking into special schools.

4- If possible take your child with you to look at schools. They may only be a pre-schooler but its important to see how the school sits with them. Be sure to choose a school that has experience of educating children on the spectrum and one that offers all the support your child will require.

5- Check ofsted reports as well as online reviews its important to do lots of research when it comes to schools.

6- Ask teachers if you could possibly take some pictures of the school and classroom setting (obviously not the children)! It would also be great if the class teacher and head teacher wouldn’t mind you taking a picture of them (the teaching staff). With these pictures you can build your child a social story that is centred around the school they will attend.

5- Pictures like those above could also be added to a child’s visual timetable. You could even create them a travel book. Inside this book you can display pictures of the teacher, toilets, playground etc… This would allow the child to use visual clues throughout the day in a number of ways. It would be an especially great tool for the non verbal child.

6- Engage your child in role play. Have fun playing a game of schools, therefore preparing your child for the real deal.

7- Prepare your child for the world of education by starting out early. Giving a child a head start in education is a wonderful gift regardless of whether they have autism or special educational needs. Counting games and colour matching, arts and crafts and reading are all great ways to learn and will help your child practice concentration techniques needed for the classroom.

8- If your child has poor sensory processing then start introducing them into the world of sensory play. By playing a number of sensory games, over time such exercises could help your child adjust & adapt to different types of sensory stimuli.

Above image from my autism and sen pinterest board (pinned from the awesome site Carrots Are Orange

9- If your child is yet to be diagnosed then do all you can to get professionals to see your child as early on as possible. Lots of children are diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum much later on once attending school. Children with Aspergers can often find themselves struggling in primary or even secondary school, while parents are battling the system for that of a medical diagnosis or a statement of SEN… quite often its usually both. Though, it should be noted that some traits of autism, especially Aspergers Syndrome may not surface till much later on, once a child is in school. Its not always a struggle to obtain the diagnosis. Good schools and SENCOs may be the first to spot a problem and therefore refer you to a specialist for an official diagnosis.

10- Children with Aspergers prefer a good set routine. School is a very structured setting and the child on the spectrum will really like this aspect of their school day. However, there are times when routines have to be slightly altered and changes need to take affect. We have found that unannounced supply teachers upset little man more than anything (even when he does have warning he still finds it hard to adjust)! Be sure that your child’s teaching team fully understand the importance of routine and the need to inform you of changes asap. Of course there will be times when changes are unavoidable and occur last minute but the earlier you know the better prepared your child will be for the change… However big or small it may be.

School is a substantial part of a child’s life. It is a place they will attend 5 days per week, for an average 6 and a half hours per day. Its imperative that they are comfortable in their learning environment. As parents it is our job to see that they are!

An Overflow In Hormones

Sometimes in life we feel we do our best yet our best is never good enough.

Little man is having a real time of it lately. Since his been in his independent special school for children with autism and Aspergers, I have had hardly any calls or emails reporting problems. However, I wish I could say the same for last week.

Little man wasn’t able to go swimming this week so, he helped out at the poolside. I can’t blame his school. They do everything in their power to ensure no child is left behind, and believe me sometimes I’ve found myself surprised that little man hasn’t been sent home for something or another. Last week I think he just pushed them to far.

Thankfully it was taken into account the fact his sleep pattern has been simply hectic. What with us stopping the slow releasing melatonin his been a little sleepless and off the wall.

So… Just what has he been up too you may ask? Well, his been argumentative with staff and actually caused the school bus to stop in its tracks on the way to swimming. Again he was acting a bit of a class clown.

If this wasn’t enough already, little man is also being somewhat inappropriate when it comes to the subject of sex.

He started to ask questions relatively early on. Well, his last year of primary school that is. But now its kinda gone to overload and his constantly wanting to raise the subject. This is fine, completely normal I guess. He is a boy of 12 years old in his first year of secondary school. Nonetheless, little man hasn’t got the required social skills mastered as yet, so, when it comes to dealing with this subject in the most appropriate of ways he struggles. This means he tends to say things that are not really acceptable, he also thought he would announce to the class that he enjoyed watching a bit of naughty TV on his computer when we are all sleeping at night.

Now, when they say children with Asperger’s syndrome do not lie, then please remember… This is absolute pony! Yes, little man is too honest at times, he doesn’t lie very well at all and if directly asked something truth comes before lie. However, he has the natural ability to make stuff up and this was very much the case on this occasion! You may ask how I know? Simple… We have content lock so this isn’t possible. I’ve also been removing the playstation from the bedroom at bedtime. I once woke up to him playing wrestling in the small hours and have removed it ever since.

We have had a long chat about telling stories that have hold no truth. I tried to explain that this type of thing can easily land parents in trouble when children state concerning issues. We are most lucky that his school really understand both his condition and him as a child. If he started making claims like this in mainstream… This would have lead to the AWO to come knocking on our door… No question!

Little man hasn’t been in trouble for this… After all his just a young boy with a sudden overflow in hormones and an over curious mind. I’ve emailed the school about my concerns, mainly that I don’t feel confident when explaining things to him as he seems to either act quite silly or ask questions I just don’t feel I cant answer. With this the school have stated that when they return in the new year, sex education will be a new edition to the timetable.

Somehow I’m guessing (if not hoping a little) that discovering the ins and outs of sex will have him running back to his Lego and computer games in seconds with no further interest for the next 10 years or so… Lol!

Being a kid growing up in this world is scary, but for a child on the spectrum its that bit scarier. Little man is just curious to discover everything the world offers… Including sex.

As for us mothers… Well, it makes us feel older than we actually are… Much, much older. A sudden increase in worry lines are almost certain and I’ve noticed what looks like a train track running along my forehead! Lets just not mention the black eye bags… Seriously, don’t even go there!

Being Driven Crackers

Wow… Little man is driving me crackers. This evening his done nothing but talk about wrestling to the point I’m almost smacking my own head against the wall!

His overly obsessed now, I truly never thought anything could come as close as his transport obsession! Obviously I was wrong.

The worst part is how his interest in wrestling is keeping him awake at night again. His back using the melatonin but as usual its not providing much relief. Worse still school inform me that his acting very out of character. It’s been reported that his been saying pretty bizarre stuff like “He would be more popular if he went to prison” this was said as he was asked why he was misbehaving… Another one of his answers was “He gets more respect and makes more friends this way!”

School enquired if it was his medication that could be causing such behaviours… I didn’t think so, but now I’m sat writing this I’ve come to realise that he does actually have more unsettled school days following a night on melatonin.

Anyhow… Back to the obsession that is wresting.

Recently little man discovered a competition on the Internet that is centred around his interest in wrestling. The good think is that the competition doesn’t only relate to his interest but also in that of literacy… Something he is actually reluctant to engage in.

In order to win his dream prize of meeting his favourite wrestler and watching a live show, he will need to complete a number of literacy and wrestling related tasks.This is great as it will encourage him to do literacy but he refuses to let me share it with his teacher. Yet, his literally talked about this competition non stop and has been demanding that we get started right away.

Last night I was in bed sleeping when I was suddenly rudely awaken at the crazy hour of 3.55 am by the little man. His reason for this was to ask me a question, one that apparently couldn’t wait until a sensible hour! The question was “Mum, How many people do you think will enter the competition and how much percentage does this give me off winning?” I swear if looks could kill… I was livid, not that the little man could tell because he just keep asking… On and on and on…

Its not only the competition that’s kind of grating within my slowing brain, its also the non stop noise that comes with having a wrestling mad 12 year old son. Sometimes I could swear we’re experiencing an earthquake (regardless of the fact we live in the UK). The banging and crashing about is just unbearable. I find myself screaming at the top of my lungs for him to cut it out but 99.9% of the time he cannot hear me above his own noise pollution.

I have heard the same tune, the same cheers, and the same sodding intro that all accompany his favourite wrestler into the ring a million times. If its not blasting through the TV speakers its being played full whack on youtube and if its none of the above you can bet your life on it that his mimicking every word therefore commentating the whole intro from memory.

I can look little man dead in the eye and tell him “Sorry son but I couldn’t give a monkeys backside about whatever his name is” yet he will take no notice, continue feeding me with not so fascinating facts on his favourite wrestler! I try to show an interest, I really do but actually it scares me to try as once I’ve started I’m quickly wishing I hadn’t as hours later I’m still trying to break free.

I dunno… Maybe as he ages these obsessional interests will be more self controlled. I hate the thought of him being a young man who totally dominates an entire conversation based around his own interests. Its just not healthy… He could lose out on friendships and relationships.

Nonetheless, with his great ability to learn combined with his social skills training provided by school, I’m hopeful that all will come good in the end.

Check out Little Mans wrestler inspired face paint…