Changing

A teenage terror!

Is terror a little harsh a word? Um, No, Probably not!

I myself went from a sweet little girl with pigtails to some unrecognisable rebellious monster with too many hormones! Ok, I gave my mum headache for a couple of years but then I got it out my system and grew up.

Nonetheless, I do remember the total chaos I caused in the house. My terrible attitude and stinking mood swings. Now as a mother I’m totally crapping myself at whats to come.

Little man is 12. His almost a teenager and already seems to be experiencing the changes puberty brings.

For many years family and friends have commented that when Little man becomes challenging he displays the many traits of a teenage boy. For this reason and others i’m left asking myself the question… “is the mix of Asperger’s traits and those of puberty going to create an explosive combination?”

Meltdowns are already highly charged. A trigger, depending on what it is, can spark some of the most explosive meltdowns that go on for hours on end. Will these triggers become more heightened or will we be faced with new ones all together?

I’ve already started to notice changes in little man’s behaviour. Having worked extremely hard to master the signs, these are now becoming harder to spot. Its that feeling that your walking on eggshells that or there is some ticking time bomb in the room.

I am extremely grateful to little man’s school. If he never had this placement he may have had to struggle through secondary school. For some children with Aspergers this can be a trying experience! I guess what I’m trying to say is at least he is in a supportive school who can help him through those sometimes confusing teenage years. This is one less thing to worry about.

But its not just meltdowns and mood swings that concern me. As a mother of a teenage boy I worry about all the normal stuff but then with Aspergers thrown into the mix I guess I worry a tad more. For one, there’s the issue of girls… Just because his on the autism spectrum doesn’t mean he won’t experience all those new and confusing feelings when it comes to the opposite sex.

Little man can be somewhat blunt when it comes to saying what he thinks so here’s hoping social skills training will make this area of concern less of a problem.

Changing bodies, feelings and an injection of hormones are sure to bring about a some important lessons for little man and of course for me, his mother.

We are currently working on issues surrounding personal hygiene. With tactile defensiveness little man absolutely hates to bath. He loves to use a power shower and this is something I’m currently requesting from the housing association (which isn’t a walk in the park). Having a shower fitment would make the world of difference to us as a family. Instead of wrestling him into a bubble filled tub, I’d instead have to wrestle him out of the shower. Both myself and his father have both talked with little man about the importance of personal hygiene, especially as he gets older. His already Experimenting with different brands of deodorants because as dad clearly stated… ‘No body likes to be friends with somebody who smells of BO’

As for sex education, the school have already began to teach little man and his peers the basics. There has already been lots of discussions on how their bodies will change as they go through puberty so that there will be no surprises or sudden shocks in the future.

Just yesterday little man informed me that he was developing a few teenage spots that were completely normal for a boy of his age. We talked about the importance of washing his face and reframing from spot popping to which he responded with, ‘ Yuck… I won’t pop them thats disgusting!’ Yes I too was pleased we agreed on something.

I don’t know what these teenage years hold for us. But like everything, its just a case of taking the rough with the smooth. No doubt there will be problems but I’m guessing there will be many achievements made by little man along the way.

These are the years in which little man will become a not so little man. The lessons both myself as his parent and his school teach him, will now be some of the most important to date! Now is the time to work together to get it right, shaping my little man for the future. The end results… A promising life as an independent working adult who looks forward to life’s little surprises instead of fearing them.

Autism and Chores

Lets face it, household chores are really not much fun. We all need a little encouragement every now and then to get going.

My son, who’s now 11 and has a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome quivers at the word housework or chores, but then so does my 9-year-old daughter. Little man just needs a hard dose of motivation that’s all!

This isn’t only down to the fact he despises any housework related activity, though this does account for the majority of his reluctance, it’s also other factors, such difficulty following instructions, doing things in sequence and that of poor sensory processing.

As Little Man’s mother I’ve admittedly at times thrown in the towel and given up, though this maybe the easiest option at the time, it makes things a whole lot more difficult later on! This is part of life and as my mother still tells me to this day, “Life sometimes requires us to do things we don’t like, but that’s just life!”

In order for the little man to grow up and become fully independent, he will need to require simple skills such as these to make it on his own in the big real world. He must learn how to do the basics accruing more complex skills as he grows older! Another important factor in this situation is the fact he will also need to learn the value and importance of helping other people… So what if you didn’t drop those wrappers on the floor, helping shouldn’t be an issue non the less!

Firstly, I must say before rambling on any further, I’m just a mother, and I don’t have all the answers, in fact I’m unsure to whether I actually have any! Though I will always try to find answers, when I succeed, or even partly so, then I’ll share with you all, in the hope it helps you too!

So… here’s some suggestions on how to encourage a child on the autism spectrum to actively engage in household chores without all hell breaking loss and then regrettably freezing over. These tips may work for one child and not the other, you may be required to try a number of different techniques or maybe just the one, every child is different regardless of abilities and diagnosis. Note: I’ve also tried this with my 9-year-old daughter who isn’t diagnosed with the condition and she’s actually done brilliantly with many of them.

1) Children on the autism spectrum tend to be visual learners, they may use written or symbol prompts as to plan events, following instructions in completing a set task, or just to alert them as to what happens next. Little man has been using both a visual schedule at home and school keeping it consistent. He likes to know what’s planed and this is the same with chores, so, if he has chores as well as homework etc, these are added to a chore chat which he helps to devise on a weekly basis.

2) Don’t give rewards for every completed chore as this then doesn’t become a normal daily routine but instead a way to gain rewards. If one week you wasn’t in a position to provide the promised reward, failure could result in undesired meltdowns. Rewards can be given as a weekly treat and you should ensure its done for all children in the household.

3) Help your child to chose their weekly chores as in number 1, however try to encourage some weekly chores in-which you can both contribute in together, making it a fun bonding experience.

4) Don’t change the chores without giving a warning to your child, keep them consistent in the way in which you and your child devised them. Also try to agree on a time your likely to keep too, as this will only cause problems otherwise.

5) Do the same as in part 1 and 4 but remember to not make your child overly reliant on his routine, so try to adjust times for different weeks, but as mentioned in part 4, stick to them for that entire week.

6) Teach your child how to have a focus, this works fantastically for Little man. An example would be if vacuuming, say the living room, point out the half way mark highlighting how his almost there, then point out the finishing post. You will find that even though the break is offered at half time, 9x out of 10 they’ll keep pushing themselves all the way.

7) Don’t keep asking as it drives children like little man round the bend. If your child fails to look at the chart remind them to do so, if they just refuse then you may need to decided if a sanction may need applying. Stick to your guns and be consistent, as you will be in an even worse position for next time.

8) Don’t bombard a load of request upon your child at once, example, take up washing, put shoes under stairs, hang coat up then run your bath…. overloading will produce the undesirable. Remember children on the spectrum tend to be unable to follow instructions if not given time to process the information given, this is why I’ve suggested the chore chart.

9) Have something nice to look forward too! I’m not talking a treat as such, more like something you’ll be sitting to watch as a family that evening. Talking about the film etc why doing chores with your child, will help them complete without the dragging boredom.

10) If like little man, your child on the autism spectrum doesn’t do well in supermarkets (despite how much he protest he wants to join you) ensure you have prepared distractions and you are aware of any sensory triggers, avoiding where possible. I get Little man helping me write the list, this helps his handwriting and spelling skills, reading the list while we shop also helps reading skills (so they don’t know they are doing chores and a fair bit of education based work too). Little man is also fantastic at maths which he actually enjoys too. To keep his mind from distractions that may cause sensory overload or some type of social anxiety episode I ask what’s best value for money when deciding if to buy a product (example, buy one get one 1/2 price coke or that of the 50% extra free priced at 10p more) His actually quicker than I am and has on occasions save me some money.

Another thing that Little man loves is the “Self Service Checkout” I guess he feels independent. It’s a great way to distract your child or engage in a little social skills training.

11) Little man loves music and despite sensitive hearing (he can hear a pin drop, or a buzzing freezer sends him barmy) music however doesn’t have the same effect, he loves music, and the louder the better.

If you can tolerate a bit of loud music then its an awesome way to motivate both child and adult into doing the chores and it really does do well to speed things up.

12) Since being in special school little man’s become a dab hand in the kitchen. He cooks or bakes at school every Tuesday and has brought home some delightful dishes. I do think its the Italian in him as the kitchen isn’t my favourite place to be. Because of this I ensure he is appointed jobs that he really enjoys, like helping prepare a meal under supervision. He loves this and it’s simply not a chore in his mind at all.

13) One thing extremely important for the child on the autism spectrum, is that of prise, your child should be praised for the smallest accomplishments as these will eventually lead to those bigger ones, plus you’ll find over time that your child is setting out to please you.

14) Little man love’s some items that many other children have considered strange and undesirable. On little man’s christmas list, I’ve found all sorts such as juicers, smoothie makers, blenders and even a chip pan (don’t ask). His always begging to get his mitts on some type of appliance. This can be used as reinforcements, allowing your child to use the popcorn maker to create a movie snack under your supervision! However, your child will need to clean up and wash any dirty dishes (making sure sharp objects and blades have been removed first).

15) Occasionally, surprise your child with something nice. Do not directly state that it’s a reward for his engagement in chores but prise him for how his displayed good skills and is a good role model for younger siblings and now seems more grown up. This kind of thing makes Little man very proud, he then thinks about other ways of impressing me, not just for treats but the overall confidence boast he receives.

16) Don’t overload chores, give little on Saturdays and none on Sundays, allowing them some chill out time and space. They will continue their chores more efficiently once rested or having had some fun.

17) If your child has hygiene difficulties due to sensory reasons, then you should work with him to remove or reduce the trigger if at all possible, adding these activities to the chores chart also.

18) Encourage your child to recycle by speaking about the fascinating things that it involves and how certain objects can cleverly be used to make something completely different. Do a scavenger hunt, encourage your child/children to collect as many newspapers as they can as well as other recyclable items that can each be placed in its own boxes, example…. Glass, Paper, cans etc… making this a fun afternoon game.

19) If your child has their own pet (little man has Bella our pregnant cat) get them involved in feeding and grooming making it a responsible job and good practical chore.

20) Take the chores out into the garden this summer. With the beautiful sunshine and longer days. Little man and his sister enjoy the garden, and along with their father they are already planting and getting there fingers all green, which is perfect for me, given I hate gardening.

So, there you have it, a nice long list of 20 things that may help your child on the autism spectrum to complete their chores.

If you’re a parent of a child with or without autism, I’d love to hear of any tips with in your comments.

Little man’s special school put Orchard toys to the test

This post is both to test the benefits of educational games by Orchard toys for children with autism when played with in an educational setting and also to look at how children on the autism spectrum play alongside one another, the development of social interaction and social skills when playing games aimed at improving such skills.

Orchard Toys are one of the UK’s leading brands in educational toys, with their games and puzzles being used within nurseries, schools and of course the home! These are games that seek to promote educational progression as-well as good old fashion fun. I’ve been incredibly lucky to obtain such a fine and well-regarded brand as my Britmums Live 2012 sponsor which is fantastic as this also means I will hopefully be able to help them on their mission!

Orchard Toys told me that they wanted to gain a better understanding and clear insight into how our children with additional needs, especially those with autism and special educational needs, play and learn, what skills they benefit from and what us parents look for when buying our children educational games. This would allow the brand a way of knowing which of their toys will benefit such children while allowing them to take any findings into consideration when creating and launching new product lines.

I visited the brand online and browsed their games section, selecting a couple of games to test.

I then had an idea and went about contacting my sons independent special school (a specialist school for children on the autism spectrum aged between 5-16 years) My idea was to donate the games to the school in exchange for some feedback on how the children found them, therefore gaining the opinions of more than one child on the autism spectrum. Instead a small group of children all with their own abilities and interest could test these games (all children are different including those children with autism, no two children on the spectrum are the same regardless of the traits they may share)! I would also gain the opinion of the teacher, a professional in education and one that understood children with autism and special educational needs. At home Little man would be forced to play this with his “typical” peers or siblings which would normally result in a war. This way I’d be able to also discover just how far my own child had come (a child taught in isolation with no peer interaction for over a year) and how he now interacts with children with similar thinking styles and difficulties with in areas of social skills interaction & communication.

Luckily, Baston House School accepted and loved the idea!

THE GAMES I CHOSE AND WHY!

What a performance, a game aimed at children between the ages of 5-12 (though this is great for the whole family including those older children) and can be played in groups of 2-6 players. My reasons for the selection are as follows: Good links to the National Curriculum in English and Maths, the encouragement in both personal and social skills and the developmental benefits it offered in terms of language and communication skills.

Players must act out certain actions, example… pretending to be a monkey, make the noise of a firework or even try to wiggle their ears. If the others fail to guess before the time runs out the child then uses a magical decoder to reveal a forfeit.

The second game I chose, was ‘What’s Rubbish’ designed for 2-4 players and aimed at ages 5-10. Little man’s class consists of children with mixed abilities and of the ages 9-11 years old. With only around 5-8 children per class, so I wasn’t worried about those older children of 11 (like my little man) as the age recommendation wouldn’t be an issue. This game again has links to the National Curriculum in the area of maths! Other benefits developmental benefits are, strategic thinking and again the development of both personal and social skills.

Little man had told me that he had learnt quite a lot about recycling at his school, so I thought this would make a great educational tool for the classroom. The game requires players to collect different types of rubbish to put into the recycling bin, being careful to avoid litterbugs.

Once the games arrived I sent them into school with Little man and here’s how it went!

THE FEEDBACK

What a Performance: The Class teacher ‘Miss Bell’ stated that the game created a lot of interest amongst the children and as I suspected it was a huge hit.

The class teacher described ‘What a performance’ as a great game & learning tool for children on the autism spectrum, she noted that the games requirement for a child to either act or mime while the remaining children guess what it is they are doing, helps the development of theory of mind, (understanding that other people have different thoughts and feeling) an important life skill for these children. The children worked in groups of 4 for around half an hour. The teacher empathised that although this may not seem long, it is however, probably the longest time the children have played a game as a group… Result!

The fact that Little man actually managed to remain engaged for this length of time given that he was in a group of 4, is such a positive for us! Before starting this school, he was taught in isolation away from his peers for almost a year, so this is a huge step in procress for both Little man and the extended family.

Lastly, it was reported that all the boys really loved the magical decoding feature that reveals the secret message on the back of the cards. It sounds as if it was definitely a great feature that helped keep the boys engaged in the game.

The children played the second game ‘What’s rubbish’ on a different day as to play both together would have been far too much for them. The teacher noted that although this is a very good game, the children found this game slightly more complicated than the first. It was noted how it took quite a few reads and one really interested child to understand it, to be able to play! It was noted that in actual fact, it was my son, Little man who was one of the first to lose interest (which isn’t surprising given it takes a lot to engage him if it’s not transport or Lego related). It’s very common for children on the spectrum to have special interest and therefore engage little in other activities.

Little man said it was more complicated as it required him to remember too much information at one time (again this is a common difficulty amongst children on the spectrum). However this game could become something of a valuable resource for improving such skills as these.

The teacher finished by stating that the format of both games was really good, really colourful and easy to read. The teacher noted how she had used Orchard Toys within her last school and remained impressed.

So, all in all, I think that by donating the games to the school, we managed to gather some great information on the benefits of Orchard Toys when used as an educational resource in the classroom.

The children clearly enjoyed the first game more than the second which makes “What a Performance’ our winner, though we think that both are fantastic.

Visit Orchard Toys for even more games and puzzles for all ages and abilities

Lastly, a huge thank you to Orchard Toys for supplying these lovely games and both the children and teachers at the school for taking part.

Related articles

• The 2012 London Toy Fair Brings Great Toys For Children On The Autism Spectrum (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)