Tag Archives: smoking

Does your 11 year old stay out all night on the streets?

24 Dec

Seriously people what’s going on?

Fuck sign, not directed at anyone!

Image via Wikipedia

Walking to the garage due to running out of stress sticks at midnight isn’t my idea of fun, especially in this whether, but last night it just had to be done! To my absolute horror I’m greeted by a couple of kids no older than 11 years old, hanging around at the entrance of the petrol station! Am I guessing their ages, I only wished I was! Sadly, I know for a fact that these are children of this age, how? Because it’s not that big an area, you therefore get to know who these children are especially when you have children of the same age… I say no more! I glance around looking for their parents but as I first suspected, my fears are confirmed these children are alone. However shocking this may have first seemed, as I set off, marching up the road at super speed, I think about it a little more and realise that actually I’m not that surprised at all, just angry, and confused for I can’t understand how or even why the parents of these 11-year-old boys allow them out at this crazy hour of the night?


I’ve seen it before, I’ve actually seen it a lot! Just a few weeks back I heard a commotion commencing outside my window, at first I tried my best to ignore it, we live on a main road and with the bus stop located right outside the window, I pretty much put it down to drunken yobos waiting for a bus (a bus that actually stopped running a half hour before). However, when their at the point of waking your children, especially when its your 11-year-old with Aspergers who doesn’t often “DO” sleep you have to give them a friendly push in the right direction (preferably away from your door) but as I approached the window, some little mandan looks up and 
gives me the middle finger while her 12-year-old friend throws her guts up all over my hedge! Now I’m not going to judge their mothers, god only knows that I hate judgemental people, nonetheless, I am interested to know why their parents aint their dragging them home by their piggy tails.

You see, I was a bit of a rebel when I was 13, I actually thought of myself as some big woman who knew better than her mum, and I wont lie by pretending I was in a 9 pm Like a good little girl! I went through a stage which lasted a good year, which mostly involved me putting my mother through hell (God… as a 29-year-old mother to three, I know that now!) My point, If I climbed out the window at 3am my mother followed me, if I didn’t come home she set about getting me there by setting the police on my arse, she didn’t just leave me to get on with things!

Again I’ve seen these children around the area and by day their buying penny mixup from the local newsagent and scoot up and down our street on their micros! Come night their, hanging around petrol stations pouncing something to smoke with can’s of “White Lightening” glued to their hand, while the little girls in pig tails have converted into some loud mouth monsters, who greet you with the show of a finger as they chuck up WKD on your hedge which see’s it turn a funny shade of blue!

My son is so far from an angel, as I’ve explained he can throw one almighty wobbler and his autism related public meltdowns make us perfect subjects for the finger-pointing parents! Yet with my hand on my heart, I would never allow any of my children to walk the streets in the middle of the night, and if they were ever seen to be, then they would be out without my say so that’s for sure! The thing is, if I take a peek out my window any night of the week, I’m bound to see one or two children some as young as ten, sat across the road laughing with their friends! When you’re seeing them same faces time and time again, it becomes a bit bloody worrying.

My son isn’t allowed far no matter what time it is, he becomes extremely stressed as other children his age go that bit further, it’s not that he has Aspergers (Ok, it is partly) but I don’t  want my daughter going anywhere when she’s the same age! It’s the world we live in, it’s not pretty. My point is, with myself feeling this way I can’t begin to understand how, or even why children of the same age are greeting me at petrol stations at gone midnight. I know that the best part of you reading this wouldn’t dare have their children roaming the streets at such an hour, however I bet there is one or two that do? Will you be brave enough to speak out and help me to somehow understand just why this is happening?

Because I, I just don’t get it!

 above image is from smosh.com

The day I came close to breaking point

9 Sep

I would be telling lies if I said everyday was a good day in our house! Yes, we have had many bad days…Little man can often go weeks at a time without having a major paddy. However with my hand on my heart, Little man has never been as highly challenging as he was Yesterday (Tuesday, 08, September)

Things were pretty much “normal” when I collected him from school. He done a fair bit of moaning, not surprising given the times in which he finally goes  off to sleep of a night. I knew he must have been feeling pretty crappy, so didn’t pay too much attention to his name calling and stroppy ways. I had not prepared my self for what was to come that evening! My gosh it wasn’t pleasant

Tuesday 08 September 2010 would be a date I would remember for time to come, as I’m almost certain that this was the day I very near hit breaking point.

My nine (Very soon to become ten-year old) had gain total control over me! His mother. He seemed totally uncaring, selfish and extremely hateful towards me. Let me explain my meaning for TOTAL CONTROL! I had become so tired and sick of the situation we were now in. My son had me crying in public, I then went on to have a panic attack in the supermarket. Can you imagine the scene.. Mother with two of her children and her nephew stood on the food aisle in Sainsburys crying as her nine-year old throw himself around the store. Yes, his had the classic supermarket meltdowns but this was oh the DADDY of them all. He abused me with hurtful remarks, Throw items, refused to move, bashed his 7-year-old sister across the supermarket with a trolley, cried, jumped up and down screaming “Please, I said I was sorry”  as I contemplated leaving the shop. I considered running way, or better still screaming, nothing precise, Just screaming to let some frustration out! Instead I just ended up with a crying daughter, a migraine, and one hell of a panic attack. God only knows why it’s called a panic attack as I was far from panicking! I was just utterly exhausted, drained mentally, and shocked at the extent of the behaviour and worse the inability to care about mine and anybodies upset.

Not knowing if I was coming or going I realised that we were fast becoming a tourist attraction. I’m used to stares, unwelcome comments from snort nosed strangers. I don’t normally rise to such ignorance. However When some couple stopped to have a nose, like we were caged animals at the zoo I had no choice. Was the situation that bloody interesting? Well, this couple seem to think so and unlike other fellow shoppers peeking as they passed on by, These guys were grabbing their popcorn and were in the front row! Needless to say, they got their show! One which concluded with me asking if they had nothing better to do in their lives then stand watching us and somehow find our abominable display entertaining. Yes, they said nothing just scattered of shaking their heads. Our the trip came to an end with me having this panic attack and members of staff asking if I was Ok. I felt so silly! A panic attack over my child.. I kept thinking they would think I couldn’t cope! It’s ironic really, as stood there I felt like I couldn’t, and felt so for a good few minutes. Then I remember, the challenges we have faced together and I allow myself to have that breakdown, after all do they contend with things like this on a daily basis. Just like little man slowly filling up in till he explodes and it comes gushing out, I needed to do that too and at home laid in bed next to my daughter who was so tired and unable to cope with him constantly storming into her room name calling. I found myself crying again. Listening to him going up and down the hallway acting out the same bus routine he does every single day and night I wondered if he really did have feelings as today would suggest he didn’t!

I know my son does have feeling, if anything he can be over emotional. It just seems at times that he considers himself to be the only person in the world. ..I know that it was just a really bad day, ones I bound to see again, It just sometimes we get through them better then others.

.. Well, my children have been back in school for five days but have only attend three of them days. I emailed the AWO (attendance and welfare officer) who works for the LEA explaining why my children were not in school. How could they go to school that morning following the kind of day we had the day before ? My daughter didn’t sleep till the early hours and I managed a few hours only once I heard the announcements of random bus stops being shouted out, I knew it was safe to. This must have been at least 5am. I’m surprised the baby, my nine month old son got some sleep given the extent of the noise throughout the night.

I decided to go to the school to speak to little mans class teacher. Turns out that the teacher was away from class and told the children before leaving to behave or they may not attend the trip he was planning. Little man freaked when his friend started to misbehave and was now convinced there was no trip. Such a small thing can seem so big to Little man. Since I’ve told him that the trip is still on, his settled a lot more. Today was like yesterday never existed, and he was polite and well behaved. So Tuesday wasn’t a great school day. It was a worrying, anxious school day, which resulted in him coming home to take it out on mum. 😦 We have had worse things happen, worse days but never with this degree of challenging behaviour. It just goes to show, that our children on the spectrum can become bubbling volcanos within a second, No warning no sign. The smallest and most simplest thing to us, is the most huge to them. Challenging behaviour can be triggered by al sorts… You’ve been warned!!

Oh one last thing! I started smoking again after a year and a half. Yes, I was disappointed with myself, and it’s a stupid thing to do… But my god it felt so good! Stress & cigarets are a match made in heaven.

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