Tag Archives: SEN statement

The power of positivity

25 Oct

 A pretty exciting thing happened to me yesterday. I was contacted by a reporter for the “Weekly News” which is part of the D C  Thomson  &  Co (a Glasgow Newspaper and media group)

 lovely guy interviewed me over the phone and had a particular interest in my attitude to Little man’s diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome.  

 It was my positive outlook that got him, he was interested to hear all about how I know embrace my sons condition instead of fighting it! 

 Now, what took me by surprise, was his interest in this side of things. You see, since I first started the I’ve had a number of journalist from the media contact me wanting a story on our most difficult & trying times. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to discuss this, after all it gives those who are currently experiencing them same difficulties, the feeling that they are not alone, and yes they can come out the other side! But to have someone contact me with an interest I’m my positive approach to Aspergers was somewhat refreshing. 

 You see, if this same reporter had read my blog this time a year ago, he wouldn’t have come anywhere near me for a positive story (well, I wouldn’t have that’s for sure)! Ok, I’ve long had the attitude that I will never change little man, but during them long hard days of dealing with a school that didn’t give a donkeys rear end, or while fighting the never ending battling to obtain a statement, positive I was not! 

 I’m proud to say that I’ve come a long way since pre-diagnosis and the day of diagnosis itself.

When I look on my dressing table and see that glass award with the words “Mads Most Inspiring” I can’t help but break out in a smile, and here’s why! 

 My son’s difficulties were the reason I started using a computer, my god back then a snail could type faster than me and yes, I know a snail has no fingers, so what does that say about me ah? Now I’m so fast at typing I could do it with my eyes shut. Back then I was looking for answers and support, why? Because their was nowhere else to find them! That was in 2008 and that’s when I one day found myself blogging… Blogging, the girl who said she would never write through choice, My goodness, I actually love it now! My point being is it was the online community that provided me support and taught me one of the most important lesson of my life to date, one I will always hope to teach another… 

“My child may have Asperger’s but his still the same child, he is no different! The label will not change this” 

 From that moment on I looked at things differently! Once I got that diagnosis, the one I knew he would get (let’s not forget it was two year prior to his formal diagnosis that the child psychologist first told me he was 99% certain my child had Aspergers) I didn’t see it as something we needed to fight through, I was already past the stage of asking myself, “Why my child” or “Was it something I did?” I leant quickly that their would be a lot of battles I would need to fight as a result of the diagnosis. I learnt not to take it personally, it was all about money when obtaining the right support, not the fact nobody believed me, like I first thought. The system didn’t wish to believe any of us for the same reason! The cost to them to give our children that little bit extra support each one desperately required!

 Yes, I wouldn’t change my child, he is who he is and taking his AS away would change so much about him. However of course there are certain things I’d wish away in a second, things that would make his life a little easier, who wouldn’t? I’m his mother after all!

 I don’t blame the parent of the non verbal child or the child who has great developmental delays, when they state they would want to cure autism if they could! How could I, my child can speak and is that bit more high functioning! However I would state that just because he can speak or has the ability to do Math, doesn’t mean his difficulties are not always as trying. So… yes, I’d take away his anxiety, I love him to sleep better, but I wouldn’t take his brilliant mind, his interests and his inquisitiveness as these are parts of his wonderfully personality. 

 It was a really nice interview and I put down the phone feeling positive and positivity is the way forward when your child has a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome.

 If anything, it’s the only way forward!

Little man takes over the blog!

6 Oct

Well, Hello everyone

Very special post for you all today, a treat for all that voted for me as their Most Inspiring blogger, I’m humbled and still on cloud nine that I won.

Anyway enough off all that, I’m boring every one with my over excitement.

So, as for this treat I have to share? Those who have been following this blog from day dot will know how hard its been and may remember a post I was preparing back in late 2010?

It was in actual fact an interview as opposed to a post.

The person being interviewed would be my very own Little man (aka a boy with aspergers)

Yet things got messy and things were now far to uncertain in little man’s life. I was confused! Can you just imagine how he felt!

I made a claim to the tribunal on the grounds of discrimination against Little man’s old mainstream primary who were now teaching him in isolation, hiding him from ‘Ofsted’ inspectors, excluding him daily, which they did once or twice on an unofficial basis! This soon stopped as I set about learning the Ins and outs of educational law.

Little man was never able to mix with his peers, he missed one school trip after another, till he snapped and began throwing his whole body into brick walls, scratching his arms till they bleed and whacking his head against the wall!

He even sat in a room alone as his peers enjoyed Christmas Carols in assembly.

Final straw was well and truly pulled and I withdrew and become his mum and his teacher for a few months. He then got a home tuition programme on the grounds there were medical reasons.

We were now fighting for an assessment, then a statement. We got both, but the statement wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. Only a few months back did we receive his now final statement with everything in it (OT and SALT)

best of all his attending an independent special school for children with Autism and Aspergers.

We withdrew the discrimination case at the last-minute settling outer tribunal. We now have the apology letter for the heartache caused. It’s not going to repair things but it’s something and little man can look at that one day when he needs to as he often blames himself.

I was also taken to court for Non school attendance, what a disgrace I know! At least I didn’t go to prison, though it was possible.

Now life is better, I look at that mess and think about how stressed and unhappy we were as a family! That’s why I think now would be a great time to got that bit further and let Little man do a bit of the talking for a change, hopefully building up some confidence along the way.

We don’t have a magical tale to tell, just some pretty normal random stuff and a bit about the issues above. All the same we really hope you enjoy reading…

It’s 4 pm Little man returns from his day at school via his transport/taxi. He doesn’t ran off to his room like he always did in the past, things are different somehow now!

He came and sat with me and he spontaneously begins telling me about his day. He received ten thumbs up the highest achievement one could get! I was chuffed and he was just as happy, I could tell by the big fat grin spread across his chops.

Mum: So, Little Man do you fancy being interviewed

LM (Little man) Being What?

Mum: Interviewed!!!

LM: Like on the news mum?

We’ve both done reports with the BBC news and ITN as well as local papers and radio.

I can’t blame him for thinking it!

I explained what I wanted to do in terms of sharing it with readers from the blog. He looked at me like a weird crazy chick.

Mum: If I interview you the readers will hear your own voice instead of your mums!

LM: How, if its written?

Yep he has a literal understanding to which I try my best to avoid them little sayings but they sometimes slip of the tongue.

LM: What do you mean they want to hear my voice instead of my mums! You are my mum!

Yep, I’d hit him with a double dose of confusion!

Mum: Oh,You know what I mean (as soon as I said it I thought what a stupid thing to say).

LM: Umm Nooooo

A little bit more prep and we were back on track (though I avoided making that statement out loud)!

Ready steady go…..

Mum: Hi there, what’s your name and how old are you?

A burst of laughter filled the air!

LM: You know my name mum stop asking me stuff you know.

Mum: It’s not for me, it’s for our readers, come on let’s do it!

LM: Do What?

Mum: The blog… Do the interview!

LM: Oh… *giggles* I know now! My name is G and I am 10 years old!

Mum: *cough-cough, How old?

LM: Oh, Oh, I’m 11 actually I had a birthday on Saturday.

Mum: Sign you’re getting old.

LM: I’m just 11 years old, your very old…

Charming!

Mum: So you have something called Asperger’s syndrome can you tell us a little bit about it if you don’t mind?

LM: I can, Aspergers is a very, very clever thing, But I didn’t used to think this. Some geniuses have Aspergers.

Mum: What… Ginger’s?

LM: Nooooo Genius

A few months ago he would have taken that as me taking the “piss” out of his hair resulting in a meltdown. This time he laughed at my mistake alongside me 🙂

Mum: are you a genius?

LM: No! Well actually I’m a genius on buses and bus numbers I think!

We then get stuck into his favourite game for a further 10 minutes. I have to shout out random bus numbers and he states their destinations.

LM: Mum, I really Like the lady’s voice who announces your destination on the bus! Is she a computer?

Mum: Umm yes, I think so!

LM: Mum is she foreign?

Mum: What, why?

LM: I just need to know!

He continues mimicking her voice in a monotone type of way!

Redirection was needed, Buses could kill this interview!

Mum: What School do you go?

LM: xxxxx school for autism

Mum: Where did you go before?

LM: With my tutor!

He looks sad as he misses him dearly. The tutor taught him on a one to one basis at the library for 5hrs per day during the week as no school would take him (apart from his current one who the LEA first refused). He was with his tutor at least 6 months.

Mum: What school did you go to before that?

LM: A horrible one!!

LM: Why wasn’t I allowed to play or be with other children. The head told me I was rough and made me miss all trips at last-minute. He made me angry, he didn’t like me.

LM: Mum, I don’t understand why I was never allowed in classroom when I was good? Is it because I have Aspergers so I’m not the same?

Mum: No you’re not the same your better!

Slight smile…

LM: Mum tell the readers about the day he called us at home and wouldn’t let me on the coach!

I said two words and he cried… It still hurts, So we skip it.

Mum: What’s the best thing about your new school?

LM: Time!

Mum: Time… I don’t understand.

LM: You are not told you have 10 minutes or 20 minutes no one rushes you and makes you feel worried about doing work. That’s the best bit!

Mum: That’s good babe, anything else?

LM: The children some are like me. They don’t pretend to like me I think they do.

I’m rubbing a tear 🙂 a happy one of course.

Mum: Whats the best lesson?

LM: PHSE… No, no actually Social skills!

Mum: What’s that then?

LM: Faces and stuff…

Mum: Faces?

LM: Yes, faces and feelings and the way faces look!

Mum: Oh… I see.

LM: We can’t do science in special lab yet.

Mum: Maybe soon?

LM: Yes, maybe!

Mum: What are you good at?

LM: Maths… you know that mum because I’m better then you!

No, his not joking… He is!

Mum: What lesson are you not so good at?

LM: Handwriting, I don’t like it as it hurts my fingers.

Mum: What else don’t you like?

LM: A knife and fork scrapping on the plates like Alice does!

He pulls a funny face and wiggles

LM: It makes me fuzzy mum!

Mum: So, What do you really love like?

LM: Lots… I like buses best ever, then trains & tube and black taxies.

Mum: Anything else?

LM: The word international and music, I like Bruno Mars.

Then his gone…

Mum: “Where you going” I shout!

To which he replies…

“We are finished mum”

Charming, so, bloody charming indeed!

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