Tag Archives: Sen caseworker

“I’m never going back to school, ever”

22 Feb

Last week I received a call from little man’s tutor requesting that I collect him from the library early (This was an hour before he was due to finish)

Turns out the little dude had a mini meltdown why getting lunch at the supermarket. Reason… He thought the security guard was laughing at him!

Yep, his tutor who I refer to as James for the purpose of this blog, was having a friendly chat with the security guard while little man grabbed a drink from the refrigerator. He called out to his tutor and just at that same moment both the tutor and the guard began to laugh about something totally unrelated to anything Little man was doing. However Little man didn’t know this and as he often does, he jumped in at the deep end.

Of course the guard was unaware of the little mans AS and I don’t think the tutor even had time to warn him. Of course Little man was somewhat confrontational requesting an explanation from the guard and the tutor on what it was they found so amusing. I don’t think he was as polite as he could have been and I’m guessing that the use of inappropriate language may have been used somewhere along the way.

I’m very thankful that his tutor James is somewhat understanding of AS and this isn’t really a massive deal as it is only the second incident in the six weeks they have worked together as opposed to the daily calls I received from his mainstream primary school, regardless it was a situation that needed dealing with.

To cut a long story short I didn’t need to collect him early as first requested as James called me back to say that they were now back in the Library and things were a lot more calmer. Nevertheless he asked if I had a spare half hour when collecting him as some other concerns needed to be discussed.

Sat on the bus I had all sorts going through my mind, “Other concerns, what concerns” this was a constant niggle in my head. I kept thinking what if James no longer wishes to educate Little man. How will little man deal with yet another rejection! I don’t know why I thought this as James is very understanding of Little man’s needs and has told me that he considers him a pleasure to teach. He thinks he has a great mind and personality if given the time to get to know him. Like I’ve already mentioned this is only one of two incidents… So surely not! I think it’s just going to take time for both myself and the little dude to get over the whole mainstream thing and trust people again as I feel little man worries about how things will plan out, where I just feel like we have been failed by the system to many times.

I finally arrived at the library and to my surprise but also delight Little man was clam and relaxed, showing no indication of his not so long ago mini meltdown… He went off and scanned some books while I chatted with James (Oh yes he adores the library’s self scanner)

Well, at last I could finally relax… It turns out James had concerns in relation to the ongoing statementing process and pending transition to a “Special” school that would someday be upon us, as opposed to that of little mans tendency to display challenging behaviour. He stated that every time he even tried to raise the subject of little man starting a new school one day in the further he would become extremely anxious and find a number of ways to not talk about it! This included shouting over James as he spoke, walking off or just shutting down. I explained that I was still trying to contact the caseworker in relation to the final statement, James said we have to come up with a transition plan even without a school place just so little man would always know it was coming.

I defiantly agreed!

The second thing was in relation to his fine motor skills. Yes, he was making zero progress in his writing. He was still refusing to write and near on all his work is done on the computer or is somehow practical… Like science projects and discussions.

His tutor James knew this was one of my many objections to the proposed statement. When first meeting James to discuss what Little man likes and dislikes, what his good at and not so good at in preparation for teaching him, I explained the issue of messy handwriting, fine motor skill problems and the reluctance he displays when it comes to him having to write. I felt that this was an important issue that James needed to know in order to teach him, and this just shows my concerns were valid.

With this I contacted the LEA caseworker who happens to be situated in the very same building as the library. Although I have had dealing with the caseworker a good six months now it was the first time we had met face to face.

I think she was a little worn out after our conversation as Little man would not give her a break when firing hard fast questions at her in relation to the elevator that he saw her come down in. He stated that members of the public should be allowed to use it too and wanted to know the reasons for such a ban! (He just loves an elevator my son)

So the outcome of our little chat was… She requested that I ask Little man’s tutor to write his concerns and for me to forward these on to her as soon as possible as it is going to panel again in order for the LEA to decide if they will make any of my recommended amendments and name my preferred school in part 4 of the statement (Which happens to be independent so I’m not holding my breath) The panel will have the meeting after the half term and the final statement should follow sometime there on after. The Caseworker was in agreement on one thing, and this didn’t require any form of panel meeting! Little man does needs a school… FAST! She had just 15 minutes in his company before she quickly agreed *giggle* He really was talking for England this particular afternoon. With this she agreed to look into my parental preference for an independent school, mainly due to the fact that all the maintained schools have said that they can’t meet his needs (Shock will be had If I’m not required to fight my arse off for it)

Once I had got the Little man home we sat down for a chat, topic being, “SCHOOL TRANSITION” He ran away to his room, on went Bruno Bloody Mars full blast (No offence Bruno) and he remained there in till we left to attend my nieces first birthday party ( Bruno Mars album came too) Once at the party he avoided me big style and with that I decided that the conversation will have to be had another day.

The day after Little man had the day of as the library had closed due to health and safety reasons (angry protest happening outside) So with this I went in for the kill and attempted the school conversation! Again this wasn’t a great success. However this time he didn’t run but instead informed me that his “NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER” going to school again” From now on he will be learning in the library with James Monday to Friday, 9:30 am till 2:30 p.m. and that is final.

I guess that told me!

I will just have to keep trying while praying that when a school placement does come along it’s the one we want or a fantastically understanding one in its place!

Mondays Suck!

22 Nov

It’s Monday and in all honesty.. My worse day of the week.

Most mummy’s love the fact the weekends over and the children have a whole week in school a head of them. Me I’m already longing for Friday… I hate nothing more then having to take my son to school on a Monday morning!

I was sat on the sofa early this morning… Bracing myself for the week ahead. What mood would the little guy be in when I wake him this morning. It was one question I think I already knew the answer too!

My daughter got up, washed and dressed… She gave me a loving kiss and a wave good bye when she was collected at 8.30am this morning. No matter what, she leaves with the same wave and a kiss each morning! Now I was faced with yet again the challenge to drag my little guys butt from his (My) bed! It wasn’t like it was my first attempt! No I had been pleading with little man since 7am with no joy what so ever. It always seems to be worse on a Monday, what with the weekend having had an impact on his routine and his need for more sleep… It’s like trying to presuade kids to eat veg!

Eventually we had movement and Little man is getting ready at a snails pace. I’ve stopped trying to feed him before leaving as it’s just never gonna happen and will ultimately cause more problems then needed.

So…. We are done! A lot of screaming, moaning, slamming doors later we are out the door and heading for the school. We go through the whole please be good conversation, before he goes storming off through the gates! I will usually go in with little man and wait in reception for his TA. His still downstairs in the “den” which to you and me means… Little man is still spending mornings isolated from his class and working in the lower building with his one2one. Now behind them gates awaits an array of dangers hence the reason I would normally wait with him for his TA! But this morning I’m feeling like a sack of poo. I’ve already thrown up for England this morning and due to the mornings episodes with little man…. my head is pounding. With this and the fact I’ve left baby with his dad I head back home where once indoors I lay down on the bed with bubba and listen to… Well, Nothing.. The sound of pure silence. With this we both enter the land of nod.

Just over an hour later we are up. Little man needs collecting from school at midday and it’s already 11.50am. “God to say I’m feeling rough is an understatement” But with a quick wash of my face and a drag on the deadly sin.. A cigarette… I’m off again.

On arrival I’m met by little mans TA and told the head wants a word. “It was two good to be true… We haven’t had a “word” for a least two weeks and to be honest I liked it that way” I’m greeted with an upset little man and a angry head. To be honest I just wanna be sick (No really I think I I’m coming down with a lousy bug) Its then I’m informed that little man is to return to school today as his on full time this week. I admit I thought he was still on part time for two days and full time for three days. I’m then told to collect him for lunch and home time earlier then his peers like before, and not to be late as he misbehaves in the time he is waiting for me (yet I am only just informed) Little man is constantly shouting out “When can I be normal and go to my class in the mornings like everybody else?” He was clearly becoming anxious with the whole situation.. Yet the head took us out to reception, chose one chair out the four or five that were there and told little man when he is waiting for me he will sit on that chair and only that chair.

Well thanks for that Mr Head teacher! I just wanna get out of here and go home and be bloody ill. I wasn’t rude and I didn’t make a fuss I just went home feed the little guy and took him back to school again! For what was the point getting upset.. I’ve come to learn me and little guy are the only ones who suffer.

Being the good girl I am…at 3.15pm (well 3.17pm to be precise) I’m off out again collecting little man from school. As I buzz the intercom I notice through the window that he isn’t there “on his allocated chair” “Before I’m buzzed in I just know there is a problem”

A problem there was, and mum was here to sort it out!

“His refusing to leave and a TA has gone into the head teachers office for help” I’m told. I stand there thinking…
“No you really don’t wanna know what I’m thinking!” Another member of staff asks me if I wanna go and see where it is my child is refusing to come out from. “Sounds interesting, don’t you think?” Walking along the corridoor I’m approched by the Deputy head yet I’m completely ignored by his class teacher (no guessing why that is) I’m more concerned for my child right now! I at least wanna know where he is! Little mans class are being lead by his teacher from the hall.. Once the hall is empty the deptuy head points towards a corner filled with PE equipment and soft play items. buried beneath it is my son.

Holding out my hand I asked him to come out. Without further attempt he climbed out and asked me if he was in trouble. Did he seem distress? No, he was fine if anything a little worried! So why was he in there? He told me, because it’s comfortable in there, And everyone was singing… He tells me he was practising for the Christmas play but had become confused at what part he was playing… He said it was nice in there… And lastly he said “I don’t wanna leave the class till home time like everybody else”

There was no word from anyone else for when we turned around to leave the hall I saw it was just us. With this we collected his homework from class and walked round to collect his sister.

Still….. considering today was a horrid Monday… Some Positives did occur…

…We had word from the Sen caseworker at the LEA that they will ask the “special school” that state they cannot meet little mans needs to reconsider. They are also looking into schools in the neighboring boroughs. The Sen case worker is very helpful and has maintained contact with myself throughout Little mans Statutory assessment, and for this I’m most grateful… I don’t think I could of dealt with adding another person to the “unhelpful list”

I also got comfirmation on an appointment for Little mans brain scan as part of the Autism study. This appointment is booked for Monday the 29th November and a second scan on 13th December. The scan is part of the study in diagnosis autism in children and myself and of course little man feel privileged to be a part of it. Though there is one downfall to this study! Little man cannot take his Melatonin for a week (that means as off tonight) Though melatonin seems to have less effect these days, it’s still not going to make our nights any less stressful. He still may sleep late but aleast he does still sleep when taking the medication. Let’s hope it don’t cause to much of a problem.

I also received some pretty awesome news this week in relation to a pending project of mine… In which I will share another time when things are more final.

So… Although like always this Monday sucked! It was those few pieces of good news that kept it bearable.. Now I prepare myself and the little guy for the rest of the week. Here’s hoping for better days then today!

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