Are you making your child feel worthless?

Interesting figures released today, show that anger is the biggest issue driving young people into counselling.

A survey, out today, which was conducted by Relate counsellors, reveals that the most common reason why young people need counselling is because of issues with anger, followed by self esteem and not getting on with parents*.

Children from all walks of life come to Relate for counselling, and official figures show that as many as 54% of these children are there to deal with feeling’s of anger! This was closely followed by issues of low self-esteem at 44% whilst 43% felt as though they were not getting along with parents.

Sadly this research also revealed that nearly three quarters of young people said they felt stressed at least sometimes, with nearly a third saying they felt stressed often or all the time.

The research highlighted:

A massive 64% of young people are depressed or suffering with mental health conditions.

Girls are more likely to be stressed than boys 37% of girls said they often or all the time felt stressed compared to 24% of boys.

It showed the great increase in family break-ups to be as much as 41%
Whereas as many as 23% were stressed as a result of Parents having mental health conditions, where’s 21% were stressed as a result of today’s pressure’s within social media.

What is greatly upsetting, is the shocking statistics that were revealed as, counsellors warned, ‘Being criticised by parents’ is the most common thing that left as many as 82% of children and young people feeling worthless! This was followed by ‘not having anyone to talk to’ or ‘being bullied’ 45% and ‘not getting encouragement from teachers’ 40%.

As many of you already know, Little man easily falls into depressive modes, his self esteem has been moderately damaged due to the treatment and discrimination he entailed whilst in Mainstream school. The fact that Little man has Aspergers Syndrome makes it that bit harder as he has them “typical” difficulties of poor social interaction, a very black and white thinking style as well as the tendency to sometimes act on impulse and say things that others may consider to be “Inappropriate” this therefore doesn’t make him the most popular child in the playground. The fact that Little man has problems regulating his emotions, as well as being able to put what his feeling into words, he hasn’t been so lucky to be able to benefit from such a service.

As a child, I dealt with my own host of mental health problems! I was suffering greatly from OCD and spurts of Bulimia, and this of course resulted in my own depression, which as child, seemed far harder to deal with. Once My little sister was diagnosed with Cancer age 2, things did become much harder and this did result in a short course of counselling.

My point is ‘Counselling can be a great lifeline for these young people. In some cases, having someone to talk to, can really mean the difference between life and death!

Relate has over 70 years experience and are doing a fantastic job to help some 15,000 young people, highlighting their findings to bring more awareness to the rising number of young people dealing with some of the above on a daily basis.

Checkout the campaign video below

Our worse ever meltdown & coping with little sleep

Image via Wikipedia

I was going through documents I have stored on my Mac and came across this. I’m unsure of the reasons I wrote it, though I think it was meant as a guest post concerning “Meltdowns and a lack of sleep” I don’t even think I sent it to whoever was meant to feature it, so I’ve decided, instead of cluttering up my Mac, I’ll share it here with my readers.

The post comes in two sections, “Worse ever Meltdown” & “How I deal with the lack of sleep”

Our Worst Ever Tantrum

I have three children, a daughter of 9 and two boys! my toddler is 2 and his brother, my eldest is 11 years of age and has a diagnosis of Aspergers (a form of autism that results in impaired communication and interaction skills) and sensory processing difficulties.

My eldest, AKA Little man, has had more meltdowns than I ever thought possible! His increased anxiety levels and inability to filter out certain sensory stimuli has made meltdowns exhausting for all.

We’ve seen it all! Hitting, swearing, kicking everything and anything, throwing objects, slamming doors, running off and non stop crying! But nothing was to prepare us for that Wednesday evening on the 22nd September 2010. My son had received a high number of exclusions from his then mainstream school. He was taught in isolation, (Kept away from other children like a monster). My child was never allowed to attend school trips or participate in activities, this was lowering his already low self-esteem and I was becoming extremely worried. That evening I received a call from the head-teacher who informed me my child was excluded for the third time that month. I was promptly reminded that the Friday was in-set day (translated that means staff training day!) So, he would be excluded for the trip. He has missed trips for as long as I can remember anyone would think we were used to it! But this one was important he was looking forward to it so, so much because they would be going by coach (transport crazy) It was left for me to break the news and his heart. He didn’t hit me, nor swear, he sat deadly quite for a minute or two, slowly absorbing my words! Then shockingly he stood up and started throwing his entire body into the wall almost knocking himself out in the process. He scratched his own arms till they bleed, he slapped himself in the face over and over again and punched himself in the head while chanting, “I just want to be normal” Some five hours later, and a smashed up bedroom, I found him laid in the middle of the room amongst his destroyed beloved model buses. His eyes were so sore and red, his breathing still heavy that he continued to catch his breath. Yes, I’ve been hit, abused or embarrassed in public. His kept me up the entire night screaming and crying, yet it was defiantly this meltdown that outweighed the rest, It is one that has stuck firmly in my mind… Because for me it was scary to see a little boy, my little boy, react in such a way he could have seriously hurt himself.

Lucky his now in a more understanding school better suited to his overall needs.

Coping with little sleep!

I remember my health visitors promise some 11 or so years ago! She looked me in the eye and said, “I promise you he will soon get into a routine… babies always do”! Yet she lied to me, because that isn’t true is it! Not all babies do! My little man is no longer a baby but a lively 11-year-old boy He has Aspergers (a form of autism) and as soon as he hit three months old, he stopped sleeping! I waited and waited for that routine to come, the one she had promised, after all she was a professional right? Well, here I am, still waiting for that so-called routine!

We all need to sleep in-order to refuel our brains and boost our energy levels. I’ve often stayed awake for nights on end (which wasn’t done by choice)! When my little man does finally sleep, I struggle! Maybe because it’s only a few hours till I should wake for it’s a school day and I fear the attendance officer getting on my back, or maybe because I’m scared I wont wake to care for the children at all. I find I’m touchy and over emotional some days, where others I’m fine, I just get on with things the best way I can! Sleep really does make everything seem better, I just wish my son would believe it and give it a go sometime! I’m no super mummy and more often than not, after a few days awake I just suddenly drop! My eye lids become so heavy as if they have weights hanging from them! Seriously I find my self sleeping as I stand, clean, bath or even board a bus… which really isn’t a great way to be!

Related articles

• Top Three Tips To Get You’re Kids To Sleep (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Christmas Meltdowns, Supermarket Style (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• A meltdown free Christmas (well almost)! (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• What Lack Of Sleep Can Do (teeceecounsel.wordpress.com)

How well do you really know your child’s teacher?

How well do you know your child’s teacher? This Is a question I’ve had to ask myself a number times!

After a recent discovery, I would suggest you ask yourselves that very same question, regardless of whether your child has special educational needs or not!

Here’s why…

A few days back I made a horrid discovery that meant I had to continue on with my day with this great anger manifesting within me.

I had this inability to filter out the hideousness of it all, my blood was boiling and a thousand questions bashed away at me.

  Last year I joined the TES social network and forum. No, I’m not a teacher, however It was during a period of home schooling my Little man as a way to avoid permanent exclusion. I have seen some things on the site that I normally take with a pinch of salt, yet a few days back, on receipt of a monthly newsletter that changed.

The TES website is the main and biggest UK resource for educators or those working within education. It contains job listing, a resource centre, the latest updates in relation to education, a forum covering a large area of subjects up for discussion, downloads including work-sheets etc, and much more.

On opening the email I discovered the updates were all mostly aimed at new teachers in-way of tips and advice. As always I had a quick scoot through to see if there was anything in relation to SEN (Special educational needs) and the pending ‘Green Paper’ when something caught my eye. 

The header read: NQT (Newly qualified teachers) Advice

and under that a link that read,

“Arm yourself with a few of those tried and tested one liners and you’re ready to deal with the thickest pupils” 

 curious I hit the link and was taken to the TES Forum

It was here that I unearthed one of the most disgusting threads I have ever read.

This thread contained over 600 comments from UK teachers, there was over 60 pages and posts,  dated from 2008 to the current date.

This thread contained one liners and put downs provided by teachers, these contained methods of humiliation, bullying, discrimination, sarcasm, abuse, threaten violence and inappropriate  language (including that of a sexual content)

Now before I go any further, please let me explain why this thread had me so mad it had reduced me to angry tears!

First the comments were worrying and the one liners should not be used on ANY child, the way the teachers spoke to each was worrying, and the names they publicly referred to us and our kids, Sickening!

Secondly, My own son with Aspergers has been treated in such away and as a result he has self harmed by smashing his whole body into brick walls, banging his head and scratching his arms till they bleed. He, like many others with some form of autism, tends to take things with a literal interpretation meaning the use of  metaphors and sarcasm are most dangerous.

Below is an example taken from a screen shoot. This key stage one teacher isn’t particularly rude, however the way in which she speaks about her young pupil is cold and frightening. She states he winds her by not sitting still and continuing to touch children and objects (playing with their hair etc) I don’t know if I’m correct, I’m just a parent, but some of what she describes here highlights possible autism traits or SPD even.

All she wants to do, is give him a right telling off, but instead choses to mock him in front of his peers.

Classy!

If this child does have a condition like those I’ve stated above, or some form of special educational needs, this will undoubtedly knock an all ready low self-esteem.

Is this how you want your 7 year old treated when at school?

Now, Im sorry if this post is rather long, it would have gone on forever if I the time to include the high number of comments that outraged me so much I blogged about it!

I have taken some screen shoots but will not be able to include them all, I shoot over 100, So, I’ve also quoted a few of the so-called “tips”, and hideous boasts provided by what are meant to be highly qualified teachers.

The fact is, that there are over 600 comments within this one thread from Teachers who started commenting back in 2008, when the thread was started and happily continue on today in the same disgusting manner is highly wrong.

There were only a handful of outraged teachers who left comments to state their shock at some of the comments left by those who are sadly in the same profession, however they just responded by mocking them and starting nasty argumentative comments, nevertheless it was comforting to see one or two teachers who cared.

With over 600 comments, what’s the chances that one of these teachers is the teacher of your child?

Maybe not today, maybe not even next year, but one day!

I say let’s speak up for our children!

Lastly, before I share some of these shocking statements, I ask, how is it, that this hasn’t been picked up by the media?

Has it? if so why don’t most know this thread exists?

What ever the reasons, it’s worrying that our teachers are quite openly sharing these sick so-called ‘Tips’ while laughing their arises of at our children.

I warn you, If your easily shocked, then GOODBYE you really should stop reading NOW!

Below is the very first comment (which kicked of the thread in Januray 2008)

‘I’m having a real problem with behaviour at the moment. I’m not very good at quick responses to pupils comments. I know I shouldn’t get in to a discussion with them but I’d like to have one liners to use.
Can anyone think of any common things pupils say, and a quick come back that works. Other than of course just ignoring it, which I try to do with most silly comments.
Here’s one…
“This is boring..”

OK, guys here are some of the responses and in no particular order! (Note I corrected many of these teachers spelling mistakes, that’s shabby)

“To the usual issue between students with one complaining.. sir he…

‘Hold on….. you are mistaking me for someone that cares….. sort it out without violence’walk away and ignore the 2-3mins of poor behaviour” 

“There a fine line between comebacks and getting aggressive to get your revenge – normally the line depends on how much sleep I’ve  had”

“I teach a mixture of abilities in years 10 and 11. I remember a particular individual being silly and making the odd comment. My reply on one occasion was “how Jovian”. The individual thought this was a good thing. But the brighter students knew. They knew I was referring to the Jovian (as in the planet Jupiter) atmosphere between his ears. . . . Dense and uninhabited.”

“To a very mouthy, arrogant year 10 kid, who constantly demanded my attention “Miss, I NEED HELP NOW!”.

In a gentle, caring voice: “I know sweetheart, but you’ll have to accept it’s going to take some time. I’ve spoken to various pyschologists and psychiatrists, and we’ve agreed that, with a careful program of support and intervention, we may be able to help you”  

“What’s wrong with verbally flattening pupils, showing them up, if it’s what they need?”

“48 – Excellent answer.

22 and 44: “Are you gay?”

Reply:
1. “No, but thanks for the offer,”

2. “No, but I would be if I thought my next kid would turn out like you.”

3. “Let’s keep that between us.”

4. “No, but I’ve slept with a few people who are.”

5. “Yes, but I only fancy attractive people, so you’re safe.”

In regard to self esteem, if dwarfs can threaten me with violence and imbeciles can call me stupid, I think they’re not lacking in self esteem, merely in contact with reality: if they don’t meet defeat in the safe environment of me answering them back (however uncaring this might seem), then they will in later life when someone less patient punches their lights out (which is rather more uncaring.)”

“Y9 boy, ‘Sir, why do you support Millwall, they’re s**t!’

Me, ‘I know, but you’re ugly & your mum still loves you’.”

Whenever a kid says something along the lines of ‘You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dad’ I reply:

‘No, if I was you’re dad you wouldn’t be so ugly’

Today a child working said “this is shlt”. My reply was “Your work usually is!

“Ooh, ooh! I just can’t wait for September now I’ve seen this!”

“When some little darling is swearing at you say! Please stop swearing, you’re not at home now”

“To a child who is being loud, unruly, unco-operative etc:
“Look at Brett everybody, he’s forgotten to take his pill this morning. See what happens when you forget your pill”

 “Child: You’re gay sir

Teacher: Even if I was, I wouldn’t  fancy someone as ugly as you! Child: you’re a  crap teacher

Teacher: Perhaps, but at least I can read and write”

“Me muttering when walking away; ‘soap in a sock….leaves no marks…’
they look worried at that, think you have gone mad…”

“This is school, not the Muppet Show. “

“Best one ever was;

kid: ‘Do you use contraception miss?’

during a year 9 PSHE lesson. I was speechless for a second and then responded with;

‘Yes, I usually stick your photo to my boyfriend’s forehead, and it seems to do the trick!”

At which the other kids collapsed laughing and after about ten minutes of looking blankly at his exercise book, the kid in question said ‘Are you saying I’m ugly?”

 

“one of the best I heard was pupil to pupil.

Pupil 1: you’re f*cking ugly!
Pupil 2: yeah, well your mum ain’t complainin’ !”

“Ah bless, are you finding this really difficult? Usually works…”

“I have also managed to convince my class that the IWB projector, smoke detectors and alarm sensors in the school contain cameras-I’m sure this wouldn’t work with any children older than KS1 …’
Actually it still works with Year 9!”

Just remember that the Government plans to up teachers powers when dealing with behaviour!

Can you just imagine what will happen then?

Click here for the TES website & here for the thread in question.

Please leave your comments to show your thoughts and help get some action.

Related articles

• Michael Gove: Children need to be taught an unambiguous lesson in who is boss (telegraph.co.uk)
• Help approaching a teacher – (ask.metafilter.com)
• There is no such thing as Good or Bad Labels…they’re all Bad (ontarioeducation.wordpress.com)
• Taking the Special out of Special Education (ontarioeducation.wordpress.com)

The end of a chapter

We’ve come to the end of the chapter

I feel allevated, somewhat calm and strangely satisfied!

I feel we’ve been given the green light, and we can finally proceed with life.

Its all over and I couldn’t be anymore pleased that it’s finally come to an end!

Four days before the SENDIST hearing which was due to take place today, the settlement agreement went through.Yes, sometime during the beginning of this month I finally agreed to a settlement offered on behalf of Little man’s Governing body at his old mainstream primary school (the one I finally pulled him from during December 2010)

A formal apology signed by the head-teacher on behalf of the school and governing body addressed to myself and Little man. Within the letter is a list of incidents they particularly wished to apologise for. This included: being video interviewed on a school trip without parental consent, any distress caused to little man by way of isolation & exclusion, communication could have been better, more reasonable adjustments should have been made, visual timetable not always up to date.

There was a number more, but I think you get the point.

They agreed to training before July 2011 and to review there policies by the same date.

I requested that the letter be signed by the head-teacher, “what would a letter of apology mean to a child with aspergers (or any child for that matter), given by a person they do not even know (governing body)” This was agreed, to which I signed the agreement and withdrew my appeal for Disability Discrimination.

Of course this won’t be an end to little mans school battles, we have yet to face his transition back into a school enviroment (special school) from the one-to-one home tuition he is currently receiving at the library for a total of 5 hours a day, 25 hours per week. As stated in my post before last, Little man has stamped his feet and let it be known that “I’m never ever, ever, going back to school.”

The letter of apology doesn’t make all his fears disappear his still extermely affected by the treatment he incurred why at this school, the countless exclusions, the misunderstandings, not allowed on trips, refusal to allow his participation in school activities, the hurt, confusion and pain it caused.

However now he knows it wasn’t his ‘fault’ he wasn’t to blame (well, 99% of the time) You see there were of course times when he was a ‘typical’ 10 year old child, after all his no angel! It’s not like I would challenge every sanction they imposed (no matter what they may say)

I have watched him over these past few months slowly become less angry at the world and himself. He seems more excepting of the person he is! It’s not as if everything is suddenly perfect, of course not, we have some way to get there yet. There are days he sits and ponders on the things that happened, referring to himself as “not normal, different and misplaced,” other days his smiling huge happy smiles.
They are the days you cling to.

For me the letter means closure. The thankful end to a messy, tiring, soul destroying experience. His just 10 years old so undoubedly we have many more battles to come, I’m not walking around with my head in the clouds thinking, “from this day on, our life is all rosy”. We are still awaiting the final statement of special educational needs being issued from the LEA. The chances that my suggested amendents if any are copied into the statement is looking somewhat grim, and let’s face it, the chances that my preferred school will be named in part 4 is “atrociously” low with the prospect of me having to make an application for yet another appeal being practically set in stone! Some may call me a pessimist I prefer the term “realist”. Let’s face it parents who made us think this way?

Communicating, helping, sharing and just speaking to thousands of other parents and carers through this blog, my facebook page and the extending on/off line community only opens my eyes that bit wider, reminding me that I’m not the only one, little man’s not the only one! There is such an outstandingly huge number of us fighting the same daily stressful battles (normally education based) that technically we as parents, carers, children, human bloodly beings should not need to face.

I hope that Little man’s school did “really” learn something from little man and somewhere down the line, somehow, something good comes from this mess. I hope that if one day near or far, Little man’s school are expected to educate a child like him again, they do so with much care and support enabling that child to succeed in all areas possible. Most of all I hope that child is 100% happy with the person he is and is never made to feel he isn’t valued and worthy of respect, that his existence is worth nothing!

So now I turn over the page and start a new chapter.

With this new chapter I wonder what life will bring?

I’m no psychic, but you can bet your life on it, it won’t be dull! As much as I’d like it to be, we don’t do dull and ordinary in our house!

Social isolation

It seems that every post lately is full of doom and gloom!

I hope that 2011 brings with it lots of smiles, because lately we just aint seeing any!

I have decided that I may have to visit the GP and ask about getting little man signed off school for a while. It seems that for the last few months I have had to repetitively deliver disappointing news to little man! It’s always the same… “Sorry darling but you can’t take part in your school play” or “I’m really sorry, i tried but they won’t let you join the class for the christmas party!” I think you get the point!

I just can’t do this anymore! It’s heartbreaking informing your ten year old that he wont be joining his class again because his school state they can’t take that chance! It’s got to the point that he is punished for behaviours that haven’t occurred… But they assume that they might and to them that’s good enough. How do you explain this to a child on the spectrum? In all fairness, How do you explain this to ANY child?  You can’t!

It’s bad enough Little Man has missed so much time at school due to exclusions. His missed activities because his considered a liability, and now he misses Christmas (Well Christmas at school that is!)

It crushes him everytime…. And I never know how to answer the whys. If he isn’t sat crying himself to sleep, his angry, so angry that his throwing his whole body against brick walls. Things were so bad last month that he whacked his arm against the wall so many times it bleed. This wasn’t due to discovering he wasn’t attending a trip or taking part in a school activity, this was for a reason unknown, that I expect was a build up of emotions and anger due to the time he spends isolated in school.

Little man has spent something silly like six afternoons in his classroom since the beginning of October on returning from an exclusion! He is Isolated (spends time alone learning with TA) in the mornings and home in the afternoons (School wanted him isolated the whole day)

When I broke the news about the school party yesterday, he cried so much his eyes were sore. He didn’t kick, punch, destroy anything like he often has! I think he was to worn out to do so…. After all it’s happening all the time. I just sat thinking I honestly can’t do this anymore. His mental well-being & self esteem is deteriorating and I can’t sit back and willing watch it happen.

I’ve tried so hard to make him feel better by creating our own elf day, school trips and parties trying to compensate for the ones his missing. At first it did the trick but over time it just isn’t enough! He says it’s not the same! And I know it isn’t!

It’s sad seeing the disappointment plastered all over his face. He may have Aspergers but this don’t make him stupid and unable to see what is going on around him. I took him in to school on Monday morning and by the time I collected him at mid-day he was a mess! He had heard the other children outside singing christmas carols but was unable to join in. It was Elf Day and the children do christmas activities and crafts. His TA made a Santa decoration with him… But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the same, and no way was this inclusion. All the way home he keep asking why he couldn’t join his class!

I had a meeting that same afternoon. It was at this meeting the Head teacher and Senco told me they didn’t want little man returning to his class & that he wouldn’t be allowed to join them for the class Christmas party. Instead we were told they maybe able to organise for some of his peers to come out of class and spend time with him in the Den. My mother who was at the meeting was gob smacked! She made a valid point off…. This will only make him feel more “different” then he already does!

I have been informed by the Sen Caseworker that Little mans purposed statement is in the process of being drafted and should be with me sometime this week. I just hope that something has gone right and it’s been done to a high standard “No corners cut”  The school talked about little man returning to school in Jan 2011 given his not yet got a school placement in a “special school” There would be a change In TA and even more isolation. I just refuse to do it anymore. To be frank, If the doctor doesn’t sign him off… Looks like I will be taken to court for non school attendance. I’ve been there before and to be honest this time I will have a lot more to say!!!!

So that’s my decision and I’m sticking with it! Let’s just hope Little man gets the right school and the chance for happiness in 2011.. Resulting in post that are full of happiness for a change!

An emotional rollercoaster

I don’t even know how to begin this blog! There is so much in my head right now, I’m finding it hard to put into words. My emotions are so muddled, I honestly have no idea what lies ahead. I feel I’m on a rollercoaster that I can’t get off. Will it ever stop?

I look at Little man and for a minute I catch him smiling. His looking through the Argos catalogue as it’s almost his birthday. He never asks for things that most children ask for.. We have had a list consisting of batteries, padlocks and electric fly lights in the past. (Fly lights are the things you hang in restaurants. The fly is attracted to the light and ends up pretty much fried on his quest to have a closer look) This year he has his heart set on a trailer that connects to his bike. His plan is to load his sister or baby brother in the back, and then take them for a ride… Sounds sweets I agree, but there is more to it! Of course this trailer will become a bus. He said it will make a perfect bus. “I love it mum look” Yes.. its fair to say I’ve heard this throughout the day. His excited I’ll give him that. Still Its pretty nice to she him this way as these past few days have been challenging. I’m not saying his overly challenging behavioural wise! His been more emotional than anything.

Work we were given for him to do a home (His on another two-day exclusion from school) had him in tears. Maths work was fine but when it came to writing the definition of words that he would need to search for in the dictionary, he was in tears. It seems that dictation is something he really struggles with! After a few minutes I decided this wasn’t going to happen. Why press him on something that was clearly too much for him! I’ve decided to try to solve the problem by creating the same work on a word document so he can do it on the computer. He seemed keen for me to give it a try when suggested.

Late yesterday evening Little man wondered downstairs again in tears! When I asked what was the matter he tells me his head hurts. As is sister has been feeling ill recently, we were out of medicine. Lucky his father was round as he went of to the local supermarket that thankfully closes at midnight. Little man was in a ball on the sofa saying “Please god, please god make it go away” I really do think the last few days must be grating on him, that or his gave himself a headache with all his shouting 🙂 I hate to see any of the children unwell or in pain, its horrible feeling so helpless. Thanks to dad Little man had some medicine and though it didn’t go completely, it took the edge off. We headed off to bed and little man jumped in beside me. We had to make sure the room was in complete darkness (He loves sleeping in complete darkness, but he said this will also help with his head) He must have been so worn out as within a few minutes he was out for the count. Surprised! Very much so! Little man very rarely drops off without running through a few bus routes (Writing this I can hear the faint sound of beeping and the words Elephant & castle station) I couldn’t be his teacher along side all them other children. Hats of to the classroom teacher. Maybe playing teacher was my reason for sleeping so well 🙂

So…. Tuesday Little man will return to school! A reintegration meeting will be held on that morning before he heads back off to class. It’s always difficult for little man to reintegrate back into school, and I have everything crossed it’s better than other times in the past. After the meeting I will then be heading of to the library to hopefully complete my NAS training modules by the given deadline. It seems that lately time isn’t on my side, everything typically happens at once and it just never seems to stop.

As I mention briefly in my last post, the LEA’s Sen panel has informed me the request for the statutory assessment won’t be heard by the panel till the 30th of this month. It just angers me that it’s been delayed! I really can’t see why it wasn’t put in on time for the panel meeting that took place on the 16th (Or there about that date) It’s seems all the reports were sent to the LEA, all but the assess one from the school. I’m puzzled as it was decided the school would submit the assess one back on the 5th of July. This was at least three weeks before the summer holidays.

Mediation date has still not been agreed on by the LEA. I guess they are waiting to see if the Sen panel now decides to go ahead and make a statutory assessment. If this is the case, they do assess, then mediation wont actually be needed. The Sen process is a long slow one, getting any LEA to take notice of your child has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. (That and giving birth, though giving birth is a hell of a lot quicker) You hear other parents saying how it isn’t easy and how you should be prepared for one very long process. “YER RIGHT, HOW HARD CAN IT BE?? AFTER ALL MY CHILD IS MAKING ZERO PROGRESS IN HIS CURRENT PLACEMENT. THESE PEOPLE ARE OBLIGATED TO SEE THAT HIS NEEDS ARE MET, RIGHT?” I am now one of them parents who knows that this s**t isn’t easy. So what do we do to get these so-called professionals to listen? Dont look at me for answers, I’m all out!

Well…. Someone did give me an idea! It’s not the first time I’ve heard it or even considered it myself , it’s just an idea I consider to be a tad tricky… Video recording! For us it’s not as easy as one would think. This idea scares the hell out of me. Now with Little mans agreement it’s Ok…But of course a child can act somewhat different in front of a camera they know is there. (He don’t really like being filmed unless it’s him doing the filming, Yes he often wonders of with your iPhone, then holds the phone in front of his face as he tries to rap about buses) Ok so I should hide the camera and somehow hope he doesn’t find it. It would provide some pretty spectacular footage of our wonderful morning routine. Even better how about our early evenings, If his not with his friend his laid out on the stairs screaming abuse at me 😦  Thankfully this don’t always last the night. Oh yes he sometimes settles till bedtime when he then converts into this double-decker bus (194 and 53 at present) So whats my issue? Why don’t I fancy this as a good idea? Well.. Two reasons! Reason one… What mother enjoys spying on her own child? What mother wants to break their childs trust and privacy? (That was one answer not two :)) Second…. Would you wanna be in my shoes when (and I mean when) he finds out? My son hates being watched, unless his acting the clown or doing something he want’s attention for. I only recently discovered that for some children on the spectrum, looking at them can almost seem like you’re trying to look inside them. Little man often complains about his sister looking at him (It don’t help when he see her as his enemy) I can just picture the scene if he was to catch me in the act. He can often go on for hours about something and this would be no exception.

I just feel unless your child, family and mental health have been hung out to dry, you just don’t get anywhere. What do they want, need to see before doing the right thing? They say that the most important thing for any child is a good start in education. Do they only mean this if you’re stopping your child from attending school? Little man isn’t the only one! Millions of children face this battle. Some will come through it Ok, having managed to get some sort of education, others become damaged with rock bottom Low self-esteem with no prospects…

… I’M SORRY BUT I DON’T WANT THAT FOR MY CHILD.