My Child’s Diagnosis Didn’t Give Me Depression! The SEN System Did That!

Its funny, Just recently I found myself engaged in conversation With a fellow parent at my daughter’s school. We were discussing depression, a subject I won’t hide from!

This parent reads my blog and is aware that depression has sometimes been a part of my life… More so than not.

So, if I’m ever asked a question I will try to answer it openly and Honestly. I’m not ashamed to say… “Yes I had depression” Why should I be? So, Having engaged in conversation for at least five-minutes with this lady I suddenly came to realise that there was some type of crossed wires on her part in regards to a depressive episode I experienced around 3 years ago! This started me thinking… Does everybody think the same way?

So I wanted to explain something, and do so very clearly! My son’s diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome didn’t bring out any episode of depression within me. My child being on the autism spectrum has never actually left me feeling depressed! However, what has had me running for the antidepressants is that of the things that come with that diagnosis (like it being stuffed in a brown envelope and shoved in your hands). I’m not talking in relation to little man’s autistic traits, his sleepless nights or sudden angry outbursts! I’m talking about the battles to get others to sit up and listen. Basically, It wasn’t my child’s Asperger’s syndrome that depressed me it was the system in which I now found myself battling with.

You think a diagnosis is going to change thinks. The right help and support will come and be handed to you on a plate… Well dream on, it most certainly won’t! I learnt almost instantly, that for some, my sons diagnosis wasn’t worth the paper it was written on.

Over the years I’ve come to realise that being a parent to a child on the autism spectrum makes you a stronger person. It gives you fighting power, the type you never even knew you had! Because when your a mother its not only your job to ensure your child has everything they need to lead a full and happy life but the love you have for them that drives you. Almost any mother can relate to this regardless if their child is autistic.

Battling schools for appropriate educational services, educating society about autism and getting your child’s voice heard is all part of the package but it doesn’t necessarily mean its going to come with instructions, and I guess it was this aspect of his diagnosis that hit me the hardest.

Being told little man had Aspergers Syndrome was hard, I can’t deny it! No matter how prepared you think you are, you never are… Not really! Even when you’re told by specialists that its almost a certainty and you’ve therefore done all your own research and have reached the conclusion that “Yes, they are right… you can see it too!” I guess its because it makes it all the more definite, more final! But what must be remembered is that little man was the same child he had been the day before receiving a final diagnosis and I wasn’t depressed then!

Its all to easy to assume that the giving of a diagnosis is the reason why a mother crumbles and starts suffering such conditions as depression. What one must remember is that its all that comes after… The fight to make others do the right thing by your child, its this that can really drain your energy both physically and emotionally.

So if your about to receive that final slip of paper enclosed within a brown envelope, then brace yourselves… As the battle begins.

Scooting is much more fun with Scooterearz

I love writing a blog, not only is it a way to help me relax, reach out, raise awareness, share and vent, it also brings me some awesome opportunities, testing some of the latest products to hit the market.

 Scooterearz, is one of them awesome products,

and here’s why!

If your child has a scooter, then you will relate when I say, “Kids like to take them everywhere” (Well, mine do). This is fine, I’m a mum who’s cool with that, after all it’s a great way for your children to stay fit and active.

However, when them summer days are turning cold, things are not so simple. Little man loves using his scooter, yet in the winter I’ve discovered that I’m the one dragging the scooter up the road because his decided his hands are much to cold to have out of his pockets. Yes, there are gloves, but this makes it harder to get a firm comfortable grip on the handle bars, therefore giving less control over the scooter. (which isn’t great with Little man’s motor skills) Little man also has sensory sensitivities (especially tactile) so he can’t seem to tolerate gloves for to long, preferring the fingerless type which isn’t ideal when out on your scooter.

That’s why I was interested in finding out more about this new product, ‘Scooterearz’.

 Here’s what the founders say…

Founded: October 2010

About: A brand new product designed to keep those little fingers warm in those cooler months.

Description: Scooterearz is a universal weatherproof hand warmer to be used specifically on children’s push along scooters. They stay attached to the scooter handlebars (although can be transferred easily ) and keep children’s hands snuggly warm.

Our Scooterearz came is a nice clear sturdy bag that can be used to keep and store your hand warmers in! We were sent the Dark blue Scooterearz with the red outer thread. There are a number of other colours you can choose from therefore offering something suitable for both girls & boys.

  Little man was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to review the new Maxi micro scooter a few months back, so the scooterearz makes the perfect accessory while keeping the little guys fingers all lovely a cosy. 

 It was pretty hard to fully appreciate the product for its true potential given the weather was still pretty nice when they arrived! Then suddenly yesterday I noticed how cool the evenings had become! At around 8pm I decided to take Little man out on his scooter to burn of some energy to enable him to settle and therefore sleep once home (Yes, little man has problems with his sleeping so getting him to burn of some excess energy is a good idea). 

 At home on my Mac, already sat a review on the Scooterearz, yet I felt it deserved so much better, a real good  testing in the appropriate conditions and weather!

 Little man instantly took to the hand warmer, despite the fact it is waterproof  (the waterproof material normally drives him up and around the bend) but Scooterearz has a cosy fluffy lining, removing that tactile experience for the little man. 

 Little man reported how his hands were nice and warm, the material was nice and cosy and he was still able to have a firm grip, maintaining full control of his scooter. 

 My daughter also had a go on her scooter (not a micro scooter, one she’s actually had a few years and due an upgrade) despite his fact the scooterearz still fitted to the handlebars of her scooter without any issues at all.

 What I do love about the product is the fact that once the Scooterearz are attached to the handlebars (one on each side) they can remain there, but can be easily removed if & when desired. 

We even tried it one the handlebars of little man’s bike which provided the same comfort.

 We really like Scooterearz and feel it’s an awesome new product at a really reasonable price of just £12.99 RRP.

The full product launch is set for autumn, though you can already buy Scooterearz from a selected number of online stores or direct form scooterearz themselves, Right NOW. 

Visit the site for a full list of retailers now stocking Scooterearz or buy direct. CLICK HERE

What’s everyone else think about Scooterearz?

Check out a few of my “follow mummy bloggers” to see what they have to say about Scooterearz

Busy mum of 3

The lovely Mummy bird (including a giveaway of a scooterearz to one of her lucky readers. Closes 3rd Oct)

Loved by Lexi

and one of my favourite review sites: Bubbaloves

As part of the big launch Scooterearz are offering some amazing offers to schools

Scooterearz Schools Promotion!
Your school can earn 20% of all sales of Scooterarz in our Schools Promotion – If your school or nursery would like to take part contact us 

info@scooterearz.com

Visit the Scooterearz facebook page where all the different colours and designs will be displayed. They are also in the process of launching their new and improved website any day now and will celebrate this by offering introductory offers and other exciting opportunities. Click HERE.

Harley and the giraffe

Our fantastic feature, ‘Santa’s Little helpers is going awesomely well! We have some great reviews lined up from some brilliant brands. This evening I write the last of my three reviews for the Wooden Toy Shop who me and the children have loved working with this past month! So, far my daughter has reviewed the lovely Melissa and Doug Stamp set and Little Man has proved that Cricket can be a great game for Children on the autism spectrum, even when played alone 🙂 

 So, now it’s the turn of the littlest Elf, “20m old little bro” his had great fun reviewing one of, ‘John Cranes Tidlo Chunky puzzles’ 

 Description 

 This Chunky wooden puzzle has seven pieces, Its brightly coloured safari theme was a hit with our little monster! One of the reasons we chose this puzzle was because of it’s funky theme. Harley, aka Little Bro loves Giraffes right now, he loves the CBeebies programme, ’64 Zoo Lane’ with Georgina the Giraffe. The Giraffe along with six other animals, a Hippopotamus, Lion, Zebra, Camel, Elephant and a Crocodile make up all the pieces of this fun puzzle. 

 The John Crane Tidlo chunky safari puzzle is designed for children aged 12 months plus and can be purchased from the Wooden toy shop for a very respectable £10.79

 Playtime

 Little Bros face lit up when we got the puzzle out of its box ready to play. “Look, Giraffe” was something he continually said for the first five minutes before finally turning his attention to some of the other animal pieces. We had fun together naming each animal piece and it really encourages social interaction and gets your toddler attempting words such as Hippopotamus,”Which proved quite a mouth full” Hippo was the better alternative for this little monster. 

 The puzzle pieces are really chunky making it look almost 3D. This also makes it easier for the child to pick the pieces up so great for little fingers like Little Bros.

Every now and then I lost the little guys attention and he would climb down from his chair and dart around the room shouting, “Giraffe” waving it in the air like he was flying the thing like a plane. Eventually he would come back and after a while he seemed to be getting to grips with what he was doing. Sat at the table I removed all the pieces, Little Bro Lined them up and I then placed them all back in place. He looked at what I was doing seemingly taking it all in before trying it for himself. The puzzle has the picture of each of the animals where each piece is designed to fit,  making it easier for the child, as they can identify where each piece should fit by looking at the pictures. Little Bro did this bit with ease, however he did have some trouble getting the pieces to fit and become frustrated as he tried to place the giraffe in upside down. When Mummy attempted to show him, ‘Little Mr Independent’ almost throw a fit. 

 Once Little Bro had finally placed an animal correctly in its position, I clapped offering lots of prise. He happily gave himself a clap too and felt encouraged to try another. After one or two more I noticed that he was finding the task much easier. 

 Conclusions 

 This is a lovely toy, the wooden puzzle is very well made and is beautifully designed. It can be a fun educational toy for a toddler helping them to develop good hand eye co-ordination, fine motor skills  and imagination (as Little Bro demonstrated during the review, when he used the pieces as toy like figures). I found it hard to give this toy a rating on my toddlers behalf! Though he clearly liked the puzzle he did have a tendency to lose his attention quicker then some of the toys his played with. Saying this, it should be mentioned that whenever Little Bro ran off the giraffe went too. He really likes the giraffe piece and since the review he has taken the giraffe from the box and took it for a ride in his wooden trailer. 

Its a hard one but I give Harley’s rating as an 8/10

 Parental approval 

 I think the toy is great Value for money and plan to purchase the John Crane Tidlo Animal farm for his birthday. It comes in a sturdy thick cardboard box which is a must when storing puzzles, due to us having to take them in and out over the course of the early years. The puzzles brightly coloured design is great visual stimulation, the overall design is very inviting. The pieces are really nice and chunky and the picture matching along with shape shorting makes this lots of  fun while helping improve and develop a child’s hand, eye co-ordination.

The John Crane Tidlo gets a fat 9/10 from me

 The Retailer

 Over the past month I loved watching the children review just a small handful of the beautifully designed toys the Wooden toy shop has to offer. This is an online family run business that offers its customers a friendly service, speedy delivery and importantly, “Good value for money.” All three products have proven a success with all three  Little helpers. This with the fact they have offered our readers the chance to bag themselves a, ‘John Crane children’s wooden Guitar’ in our blog giveaway (which can be found here) makes them a firm favourite of mine. 

This is a retailer who offer support to schools and nurseries not only by offering them 10% off the advertised price but also entering them into a draw to win unwanted products that have been returned and cannot be resold due to the removal of packaging. Schools are automatically entered into the monthly draw every time they make a purchase. 

 10/10  for the Wooden Toy Shop a  fantastic online retailer! 

The waiting game

Is it just me or is the rest of the country wondering when the hell this ‘green paper’ is going to be published?

A little delay is fine, if anything we expect it, but this is fast becoming a joke

Children’s, families minister Sarah Teather has been promising to publish the green paper for months, first announcing it back in July 2010 it was said the paper was scheduled to be published in the autumn.

Sarah gave parents like me a glimmer of hope. Getting our children’s special educational needs met is something of an up hill battle at present. The green paper could potentially make things a tad easier, given that the views of parents and charitable organisations have been taken into consideration when first called upon.

With the promise of giving us parents more say when it comes to where our children are educated mainstream or other, and just how that education should be given sounded a blessing.

However this is just looking less promising by the day! I’m starting to wonder if this paper really exists at all. First it was November then it was  February now March, and so far no sign of any paper.

We as parents really don’t need such delays. All over the country our children are failed by the system on a daily basis. local authorities take forever to make important decisions regarding our children’s special educational needs and once made, these decisions are all to often the wrong ones!

Most have to endure the long drawn out process of appealing local authority  decisions to the tribunal just to get their childs special educational needs met. Even if a parent does manage to win their appeal nothing is set in stone with some local authorities failing to carry out the order of the judge.

The system is full of blanket policies and empty promises. The criteria children are expected to meet before a statutory assessments is carried out is unreasonable and it’s often the case that parents are given false information regarding the reasons surrounding a refusal whether that’s in relation to a refusal to assess or statement. The subject on timescales being met is a whole different matter altogether!

The prospect of a statement is undoubtedly small, those that do receive a proposed statement u can bet your life it needs amending. Then there’s those that look good on paper but contain many hidden little twist, wording that I can only describe as fluffy! Opportunities,often, assess to and my favorite by far, ‘regular’ are all terms often used within the childs statement meaning the provision isn’t as specific and clear as the parent first thought.

Then we have the subject of delegated funding. This one really bloody rattles my cage. To many LEAs are trying to wiggle out of their legal responsibilities when it comes to providing what’s in a childs statement informing parents the requirement to fulfil this duty no longer lies with them but the school instead. This is just pure horse s***!

Whether the school delivers the provision in the childs statement or not, the local authority have a legal duty to make sure that the child receives the provision stated in the statement. If they don’t it’s them who are in breach of the law, not the school!

I am sick of waiting for this system to fix up! I’m not suggesting for one minute the green paper will be the answers to our prays, “Not by a long shot” however this is a start and one that can’t come soon enough for some, myself included!

The word on the grapevine (well goggle) is that the paper is now complete, ‘said with rolling eyes and slight shake of the head.’ It’s contents will be but before a group of ‘leaders’ during the ‘green paper summit’ on Wednesday the 9th of March at Westminster.

This group of leaders will be made up of head-teachers/governing bodies of both primary and secondary schools, leaders of early years settings aswell as those of PRUs and of course members of the local authorities. Speakers at the conference include Sarah Teather herself, Charlie Henry (principal officer, special educational needs & disability, Ofsted) and Phil Snell (DFE) All will have the opportunity to respond to the paper, discussing any concerns etc. “Oh my god how I would just love to be a fly on that wall!”

The summit isn’t some ‘free’ event, but one that cost a rather nice tidy sum of money, ￡195.00 per delegate to be excate! Something tells me this won’t be coming out of their own pocket. I’m also wondering why on earth they would pay to attend especially those from the local authority, after all ￡195.00 is a great deal of money to those that don’t really give a damn about our children’s needs and are offering statements worth less. Is the money collected from the ticket sales going to be put back into the system in order to deliver the provision our children are all to often denied? Mmm, maybe it will be used for something much more important, I dunno like, “holidays and supplies of dog chum for snot nosed MPs”

Come on guys we are hanging out for this paper too! Are we ever gonna see what’s in it?

If the White paper anything to go by then I smell trouble

Here’s hoping that the wait proves worth it, and the green paper is a cut above the rest!

Were counting on you Sarah, every single one of us parents who has a child with SEN are preying you make us proud.

Note at the time of publishing it was discovered that the Government have proposed to publish the ‘Green Paper’ next Tuesday. This I will believe when I see it!

AUTISM RAINBOW DAY.

Today Many people all over the world will be wearing a bright coloured T-shirt or dressing up in bright fancy dress as to represent autism rainbow day. Autism Rainbow Day (a global autism awareness day) invites anyone and everyone anywhere within the world to participate and by doing so help raise awareness for autism in their local community. On Autism Rainbow Day, businesses, schools and social groups from all over the world are urged to help raise awareness for autism by wearing different colored T-Shirts that represent the colors of the rainbow. Alison Dix the creator and Facebook friend has really made this a wonderful cause. She has created templates for mask and an autism factsheet for schools and groups to read out today. All this and more is downloadable from the autism rainbow website and information and live discussions are taking place right now within the Facebook Autism rainbow day group.

It’s not to Late to take part. Alison is not trying to raise money for autism just awareness. So if you are only just finding out about autism rainbow day by reading this post it’s not to late! Go and change in to something bold and bright and tell people that today your raising awareness for Autism.

Autism rainbow day has inspired me to write this post in all the colours of the rainbow.