Tag Archives: psychology

#HAWMC DAY 19 – An Invitation for five

23 Apr

OK, what if I was to throw a dinner party and as a result I get to invite any five people I like! This can be anybody and they are guaranteed to turn up. Now, how do I know this for sure? Because this “Dinner Party”  is just a fragment of my imagination that provides the inspiration for this post, well, that and them lot over at the wego health blog who continue to provide the daily prompts for the #HAWMC with this one actually being some 4 days late!

So, as this isn’t really actually happening in the real world, you should note that I can therefore invite who the hell I like. Yep, the living and that of the dead are not even exempt from the guest list (however freaky that may be)! The Point… There is no hard rule, I may fancy inviting the Prime Minster… Cough… Yer Right… don’t think so! Maybe my dear granny, best mate or even my childhood crush (though I’m not sure how well he’ll be holding up)! I can even invite the drunk guy who physically beats up the bus stop, “YES BUS STOP” right outside my house on most evenings! Bottom line… You’re all invited to see just how this mum’s imagination works.

Firstly I must tell you what I’d throw together spend hours carefully preparing and cooking (and no this wasn’t in the rules but I’m telling you anyway! Now, please note, this is not my speciality, in-fact I can’t say I’ve ever made such a feast ever before… I’m no Nigella unless you count nugget surprise as posh nosh? Yer, I thought not!

My menu is in fact inspired by none other than Pinterest currently one of my favourite online places to be. The recipes I chose had sold themselves to me through there mouth watering images that I’ve either re-pinned or come across during a blog reading session.

Starter: Tomato Basil Fresh Mozzarella Salad
Pin originally from bellasblog.blogspot.com

Main: Lemon Chicken
Originally from annies-eats.com

Looks yummy doesn’t it?

Dessert: Key Lime Cheesecake Bars
Originally from bhg.com

And let’s not forget what we’re drinking! I chose the very pretty and hopefully tasty drink “The Taste of Summer”
Originally from theregoesthecupcake.com This would defiantly be on the menu.

So, I guess the only thing to sort now is the guest list…

OK… The first would be my Late Grandmother who I referred to as Nanny Peg. My Nan lived with us or rather we lived with her! Not that my mother lived elsewhere, we all lived together. However my mother working full-time and my father not living at home made such an arrangement ideal. Plus I loved it!

My Grandmother was a very down to earth woman, however brought up in London’s Eastend meant she knew how to look after herself and her family. A single mother of two, who worked nearly all off her life (even when she watched us after school she still worked part-time during the mornings). I admired my grandmother for the person she was, very strong-willed, a woman who wasn’t afaird to have an opinion regardless if the opinion  differed from that considered to be the “norm” Open and honest was just one of many characteristics making my grandmother the wonderful person she was! Of course we were close, like you wouldn’t beleive. It was hard when she got sick and by this stage she had moved in with her son, my uncle, as she needed lots of rest! By now I was 17 years old and found I missed her dearly. Nonetheless I found myself spending fast amounts of time with her and although this was something I loved to do, sadly it wasn’t just for social reasons. My grandmothers Kidneys were failing and she was very sick. Dialysis 4x per week which required us to be travelling back and forth into the city to London’s guys hospital. Sometimes I’d come home alone as she’d be kept in for something or another. Other times we’d enjoy doing a detour on the way home, off we would go to chill in a cafe or coffee shop and chat for an hour or more. The above continued for many months in-till my grandmother started home dialysis which required her to set this up herself not 4x a week but 4x a day! It was quite simple, the machine was doing the job her kidneys were failing to and if she didn’t do it she’d die and no one was ready for that, especially me.

I can’t remember which day of the week it was but a week day it must have been as my as my uncle was working and my grandmother had told him that she was going to call me to see if I wanted to visit and have some lunch that afternoon! I never got that call… the only call I got was the one that suddenly changed my world forever, the one that caused me to feel such a indescribable pain, one I’d never experienced before and never wanted to again! With the phone to my ear, I stood looking at those before me going about their day as if in slow motion! Inside my heart was bleeding, outside my body was physically & uncontrollably shaking, my feet rooted to the spot I was stood at! I tried screaming but the words failed to come out… I never got to say good bye, I just wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her, how dearly I loved her.

Quite strangely it wasn’t my grandmothers kidney disease that ended her life but a heart attack instead!

My Nanny Peg would be the first on the guest list! I’d tell her the words I still long to and introduce her to my three beautiful children. I discovered I was pregnant with Little man on the day of her funeral. I still believe he was her gift… my grandmother never did anything by half’s and was the first person to teach me that important lesson that “Normal doesn’t exist we’re all individuals!” My grandmother also once told me that… “Whatever Normal is meant to define, it’s boring anyway! I do hope she’d be proud of her great grandson as well as his 2 siblings! I also hope that she’d be proud of the person I’ve become in the 13 years she so sadly went away. 

My next guest would have to be my very good friend Donna. She’s a massive support to me and we do so much together. Since having the children, there’s not been many friends able to stick around to maintain a friendship. I think Donna likes the fact we’re your “non typical” type of family and to be honest I appreciate that she enjoys the company of her sometimes crazy mate who often struggles to know if she’s coming or going. 

My friend Donna along with my grandmother would actually turn out to be the perfect guests as they are both strong, outspoken characters which really highlights why our friendship is a strong one. Donna does have some of them same amazing characteristics about her, and although she is much to younger than that of   my grandmother, these two ladies would probably get on well.

Now, you may of expected a guest list of sexy men and A listers, you may actually consider my list a tad boring? Truth is I’m a family girl hence why guest 3 would have to be my amazingly wonderful mother. My mother continues to support all that I do and was amazingly supportive both before and after Little mans diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. My mother is a really relaxed person, she is able create and hold an awesome conversation and is an intelligent women regardless of whether she thinks so or not. I love my family and along with close friends I don’t think I could have dragged my arse through these past few years and remained intact (mentally that is)! A dinner party wouldn’t be incomplete without that of my mother and to see her sat with my Grandmother, the mother she sadly lost, would be an image I’d cherish till the day I died.

OK, Guest 4 … Now this maybe somewhat not what you expected, especially following the announcement of my first three guest, but for me the choice of my next guest is a logical one! Hans Asperger, the man who gives Asperger’s Syndrome it’s name! 

Now, I wouldn’t change Little man, though some difficulties he experiences I’d of course fix in a heart-beat. I love my child the way he is and am no way looking for the so-called “Cure”

I’ve always been extremely interested in psychology, the working of the mind, why we as humans do the things we do! I’ve had to learn all I can about the condition my child has been diagnosed with which has therefore brought about much interest in the subject as a whole. I’d love to ask the man who gave my child the “label” he holds today some questions. What with it being his discovery, I’d love to learn more about his past studies, hear his thoughts and pick his brains. It would be wonderful if he’d be willingly to shed a little light on the grey areas helping me understand autism  just a little more.

Hans Asperger, the medical professor who passed away in 1980 2 years before I’d actually made my appearance in this world, died having little if no idea what type of impact his studies into medical psychological disorders and that of the condition he referred to as “Autistic Psychopathy” (AP) would have on those in the world today. His studies and there findings recorded within over 300 publications were largely ignored during his living years, that was in-till the last year of his life “1980” when suddenly others become interested in his findings and that of the “Autism Spectrum” It was only then that the condition known to us as Aspergers Syndrome, got given its official title after that of its discoverer. Sadly regardless of the rise in those bringing awareness for the condition, it is still sometimes disregarded by many!

Hans has been described to have displayed the very characteristics he described as AS traits. A talented & intelligent man who was described to exhibit the black & white thinking style of someone with AS as well as that of his language and learning skills. Han Aspergers has been noted to have done some great things such as opening a school for those described as having AP and AS. Sadly due to the bombing of the school during the war it was therefore destroyed along with many of the earlier papers he wrote on the autism spectrum during that of the 1930’s and the early 1940’s.

Its documented that Hans Asperger was a kind and caring person who’s passion was to get the children he believed to be on the autism spectrum an efficient & decent education therefore enabling them to approach their adult lives as happy young people with good prospects and an array of opportunities ahead of them.

Sounds like a man who shares many of my interests and defiantly someone worthy a seat at the table.

Oh… I almost forgot, I’m a dinner guest short!
OK, the last dinner guest would have to be… MMM…. let me think… MMM… Oh yes, “Robbie Williams” Why? Because he can provide the entertainment’s and his pretty great to look at too!

I’m no Vicky Pallord!

25 May

Warning post contains sarcasm!

I’m a mummy of three, who doesn’t currently engage in paid employment! My hobbies include sitting on my backside smoking an excessive amount of cheap brand cigarettes while indulging in the awesomeness of daytime television. (it’s my opinion that daytime telly is seriously under-rated in its entertainment value).

When my two older children are in school I generally let my eighteen month old run a muck, while I get my daily fix of Jeremy Kyle. As I trust you all, I will let you into a little secret of mine! “I sometimes keep the two older children home from school due to me failing to get my arse out of bed of a morning, that or I require them to babysit their little brother as to allow me some me time! Yes, this is mainly spent socialising and networking on Facebook.”

So, there you have it! I’m basically a total bum who has chosen to live this lavish lifestyle as opposed to getting a, what’s that word again? …Oh yes that’s it, ‘JOB’!!!!

Can you blame me? Given the toss-up between the two, that is…   A lazy day at home in the company of Jeremy Kyle, or… The long commute on an overly crowded train in a bid to get to work five mornings a week! Sorry… Jeremy wins hands down!

Yer right as if! Please tell me you do realise that the above is nothing other than an example of my twisted humour, a hard injection of sarcasm! Come on people seriously…  I’m no ‘VICKY POLLARD

It’s incredibly lamentable that a large proportion of people in today’s society, will all to often draw such conclusions of those above when it comes to unemployed mothers!

I guess it’s all to easy to assume that the mother on benefits who lives in a council house, doesn’t work because its easier this way. You only have to watch television to see some great examples of the stigma surrounding this type of mother! I’m not stating that I myself don’t laugh till my sides are sore when watching ‘Little Britain’ or ‘Balls of steel’ I’m just stating that it’s a shame that in the reality of things, people everywhere actually see us mum’s in this light!

Well, this may well be the case for some mothers, but it certainly isn’t the case for me! I imagine it isn’t for many others either!

So, do I want to work? In actual fact… I do!

I’m not only a full-time mother to three children (one on the autism spectrum), but I’m also a volunteer adviser and caseworker, supporting parents of children with autism and special educational needs through the process of the SEN tribunal in-order to get their child’s educational needs met. My duties include: Advising parents on their legal rights, helping them make an application to the tribunal, then basically guiding those that need it, through the different stages of the appeal from then on till the hearing. I can’t begin to explain how for me this is an incredibly rewarding position! Its one that doesn’t provide me with any financial gain, no form of income! That’s right! I do it because I’m passionate about helping these families overcome the battle of obtaining educational provision for their children! After all, It’s something we as a family have continually faced.

My little man was a very different child, a deeply unhappy one, up in till we removed him from mainstream in December. His currently in home tuition (supplied at the expense of the LEA), since January this year. He was continually excluded from his old school, I was called to collect him almost daily and towards the end he was taught in isolation. Lucky, Little man is set to start a trail placement at a fantastic independent autism specific school at the end of June. All goes well… The school will be named in part 4 of his statement!

So, here’s my point, I do have one I promise! I’m sure many parents of children on the spectrum will agree with me when I say, “Who would want to employ a mother or a father of an autistic child?” I’m being honest when I say, “I wouldn’t employ me!”

Constant calls from your child’s head-teacher requesting you collect your child immediately! They want you to come in just to have a word with them, or calm your child down during a meltdown! To work would be wholly unachievable! Lets state facts here guys, tell it like it is! What decent company with a boss who is well on the ball, would even consider employing a woman like me?

Come November 2011, this mum will be putting the long-term plan into action, the one that sees her go get the career she wants! Yes, this is the date I hope to start studying for my Psychology degree, “The one I couldn’t start this month as previously planed” (Not enough time, what with Jeremy Kyle and all). My study will thankful be done from home with the ‘Open University’ allowing me the flexibility to care for the children and carry on volunteering.

So, you see… I’m not no ‘Vicky Pallord’ (you couldn’t pay me to wear that shell suit)! More importantly I don’t do any of those terrible things, with the exception of them horrid cigarettes (Yes, bad habit I know!) I’m really just a mum trying to do right by her children! Even if that is under the roof of a council house!

BLOG ALERT!

4 Mar

I have been thinking about starting a blog with google’s blogger for quite sometime now.

Well today I did! In fact I started two. I know what your thinking, How on earth will I find the time to use them? Well I fault the same thing to once I had signed up for them! But ( There is always a but with me, have you noticed? ) I just love blogging! Anybody fell that way? I’m sure I can do it despite the two children, hubby and dog. It’s not like it takes forever! I find once I start a blog I have these post ideas constantly running through my head. Believe it or not guys they are not always autism related. 

So let me tell you a quick something about each of them! 

DON’T LOOK TWICE!

Right this is the one I’m looking most forward to using. I only started it yesterday and already have posted a few post. It’s concerning another of my interest which is psychology ( I bet that wasn’t hard to guess:) ) So on this blog you will find me writing about Mental health, Autism, Dreams, and all stuff concerning the mysteries of our mind and how it shows in our behavior. SO LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING THIS BLOG INTO SOMETHING GREAT. 

The second blog which I must add is very random is named

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

As I pointed out a very random kind of blog. It states although I’m a mother this don’t mean I’m unable to have fun! So this blog is for all the other stuff. My art, Fashion, Great nights out ( When I have them ) Great reads, what I’m watching on u-tube, make up, iphone stuff and much more. 

Will list the links for the sites in the sidebar under MY OTHER BLOGS. So would be great if you would all pop along some time and show some support:) No pressure!

IT’S ALL ABOUT AUTISM & ASPERGER’S

14 Oct

How many people in this world can tell us what the word Asperger’s means ? It’s shocking that despite the high percentage  of people now diagnosed as having ASD, It’s still not known or it’s just greatly misunderstood!

ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. Asperger’s is a high functioning form of Autism that is on that very spectrum. Being a mother of three beautiful fantastic children one in which has been diagnosed as having Aspergers is an amazing experience for me. I love being a mum and feel it to be my life’s purpose! This blog has been created as place I can express myself, Get heard, raise awareness, stress rant and rave ( some of the time 🙂 ) But most importantly a place for me to share this amazing boy who has this gift, The boy I’m so proud to call my son! Having a child with Asperger’s or ASD doesn’t mean the end of the world! Far from it! God it can be hard and at times you feel like screaming but it’s also incredibly rewarding. ASD is not an illness but a condition. If you look for a cure I’m sorry but I don’t believe you will find one. My advise to you would be embrace and love your child. Aspergers can be seen as a gift! There will be many battles to fight and problems to resolve but there will also be many times that your Aspie child makes you catch your breath as your heart melts with pride. That I promise you.

By writing this I’m reaching out to other parents and careers of Autistic children. Lets share and advise one another. Let’s keep talking! By doing so we create awareness. If we are not the voices of our children who else will be ?

IF YOU HAVE JUST TAKEN THE BIG STEP INTO MY WORD AND JUST DISCOVERED YOUR CHILD IS ON THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM. THEN IT’S MY HOPE YOU GAIN SOME UNDERSTANDING AND COMFORT BY READING MY STORY.

This post was updated on the 8th April 2010. This update included a name change and new image.
Glitter Graphics

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