Tag Archives: poems

Little man writes poetry

23 Feb

I’ve been meaning to share this for a little over a week now.

Poetry seems to be a talent for many on the spectrum. I read an article recently about a girl on the spectrum who completely spoke in rhyme even if nothing was said for hours when she did speak it would always be in line so that it rhymed with the last syllable of whatever it was she had said two hours previously.

Little man sometimes answers a questions etc in a rhyming manner, however this isn’t all the time and he certainly doesn’t remember the last word he said a few hours earlier… though his a firm believer that a poem sounds better when it rhymes with the last syllable.

As most will know from a few of my past posts. Little man has become a fan of Bruno Mars. After I brought him the album some few weeks back, it’s been played daily to a extremity! Day one he had memorized every single lyric for every single song (much to my delight) pretty amazing, but also a little annoying.

He started doing this really irritating thing that was driving me round the bend. Everytime I spoke to him he would turn, look at me, open his mouth and out would fall song lyrics, completely unrelated to the topic at hand! He didn’t sing… more like spoke the lyrics before turning and walking away. With a sigh of relief I can safely say that this phase has come to a magical end. Sadly the obsession remains and is now on a equal par with transport.

Little man has always loved to create poetry. I remember a world cup poem he created last year, it was full on awesome and definitely a one of a kind!

On Valentines day on collection of my daughter from school she handed me one of her beautiful handmade cards (she is quite the little artist) The words she wrote were full of emotion and I admit I shed a tear or two (real emotional mummy is me)

Little man made a few of these cards when he was in the early years at school and although they mainly consisted of drawings of trains, buses & maps with no words inside (unless the teacher had noticed and therefore helped him write something) Regardless I always found them beautiful. The last few years, mothers day, birthdays, valentines etc Alice makes the cards Little man signs them. I’ve been reading a lot that many children/adults on the spectrum are great artist, I myself have created the autism art page on this very blog! However Little man has never really been a keen drawer unless it’s transport, maps or another new invention. He hates to use colour and I’ve learnt that this is purely to do with his frustration with his own fine motor skills… he has problems keeping the colour within the lines and has difficulty maintaining his concentration so he just won’t bother trying anymore. Although his sister, like myself love to draw and create pieces of art I’ve come to learn that my little man is an artist in his own right. He loves to write pieces of art (well dictate or type seems more fitting, as writing pen to paper is his pet hate) His poetry is great… very deep and meaningful, I think it’s his way of expressing his emotions at times. Then there are those that are full of humour… Whatever the kind there always pretty amazing.

So once home from the school he went off to his room where he closed the door behind him and vanished for the next half hour.

Sat on my bed half asleep but conscious enough to know little man was now stood directly infront of me.
One eye open (the night before wasn’t easy) I asked him what he wanted to which he made an annoucement.

“Attention please, Attention”

he then went on to say at volume…

“Today is valentines day, and all I know is its all about love and that stuff” he pursed to pull a funny face as to say love and stuff was yuck. “Its also my Nan’s birthday on Valentines day”

He was correct but I still sat wondering where the hell this speech was going!

“So, as I’m to tired after a long days learning at the library. I’ve decided not to make my mum a Valentines card, But I’ve made a poem for you mum instead. It’s all about Love & stuff” Again he did that face to resemble a person that was feeling sick. (the facial expression programme was certainly paying off)

I sat up and took note, smiling I nodded and said, “go on then do your thing”

“Its not a thing woman” he said in a offended manner! (yep sounded like his father a little more everyday)

“it’s a poem!”

“Calm down, I didn’t mean it in a rude way, it’s just something u say” I explained before adding…

“Oh, and a little less of the woman! It’s mum to you”

He laughed, cleared his throat and held up the paper in his hand at eye level then began to read aloud…

For the best, a poem that you will never want to miss.

He was a man that you miss and want to kiss
Your her blood and flesh
and nothing will go to mess
unless a heart will be broken
a tick of a token
You will be gone
and regret the bet you set.

Hands together I clapped and went in for a kiss which he reluctantly excepted with a screwed up face, only to then wipe it from his cheek with his sleeve saying, “yuck mum, that was a wet one”

“Nevermind that, your poem was exceptional” I proudly annouced.

to which he repiled.

“I’m good at this” (so modest like his mum)

As he turned around to leave the room I asked him where he was going now!

” I like the word exceptional mum so I’m going to put it in my book of best words. It’s not as good as the word loath, that’s still the best word”

He then came back with his book and asked me to write the word and it’s meaning. Of course I complied.

I get the feeling that everythings going to be alright from now on. With the exception of the odd bump in the road, i’m sure things are on the up. I’m so proud of all three of my children, each one with their own special character and amazing ways.

Looks like little man will be writing poetry besides patroling London transport as a member of the transport police when his older. Time can only tell.

A message for Mr Cameron

14 Feb

Ok, So I had some problems with my auto publisher yesterday and this is a bit later than planed! However I think you will agree it was worth the wait. Colin explains how life is like for him today and back when he was a child. He tells us about his late diagnosis and the effects its had on his life. He even sends out a message for Mr Cameron, stating a few home truths.

Here’s my interview with Colin… A man with Aspergers

Enjoy.

Claire… Hi Colin, firstly let me thank you for taking part in the interview and also a big thanks for your continued support with the facebook page ABWA by way of the great advice and input you give within the page. So my first question to you is…

Would you be so kind to Describe yourself  in five words?

Colin… Obsessive, Stubborn, Shy, Intelligent, Creative

Claire… It’s my understanding that you were diagnosed as being on the spectrum as an adult… If you don’t mind me asking, how old was you when you were diagnosed and what diagnosis was you given?

Colin… I Was diagnosed at age 44, with Aspergers Syndrome

Claire… Can you tell us a bit about how the diagnosed came about? Did you always know you were somewhat “different” to your peers as a child?

Colin… My diagnosis came about through a councillor I was seeing, through talking to me about my past and how I interact socially. He thought I might have aspergers , so then arranged an appointment for me to be assessed to see wether I was or not. as for knowing if I was different or not, yes I did feel different even though I didn’t know exactly what was wrong, I always put it down to shyness and lack of self-confidence and being a little eccentric.

Claire… Wow I’m guessing that the diagnosis was quite a shock then?

Colin… Yes the diagnosis was a shock, even though it confirmed a lot of behavioural patterns that I had put down to something else…  The meltdowns, obsessions, not being able to talk to people etc.

Claire… Has a diagnosis changed anything for you?

Colin… Well if anything the more I know about my condition the more I feel im not in control. I was told that I would either just get on with my life without a hiccup or it would take over my life. Well, its taken over my life, ive let the diagnosis affect me. if that makes any sense.

Claire… That’s a really interesting statement… Do you think in a way you would have been better off not knowing then?

Colin… In my case I would have to say yes, only from my point of view, others might say I havent really changed at all, that the diagnosis has highlighted that it’s a condition not an attitude

Claire… How did family and friends react to the news?

Colin…  My family don’t know about my diagnosis. I havent been in touch with them for six years. I’ve not many friends at all in fact the ones I do call friends live over a hundred miles away but I haven’t seen them in five years, they don’t know! The friends I have online I’ve only told a select few

Claire…” I’m very sorry I didn’t know that you had not spoken to your family for so long and your friends live so far. I’m pleased you have those few people online to be open with (Me included)”

What would you say to the ignorant people who claim our children on the spectrum will grow out of it?

Colin… I would say that my case proves that you don’t grow out of it, as I’ve been told you either have aspergers from birth or you don’t have it at all, well for 44 yrs I wasnt diagnosed but when I was I certainly hadn’t grown out of it from childhood, it just didn’t suddenly appear it’s always been there I just slipped through the net for many years.

Claire… I mean all children with ASD become adults with ASD and sometimes I think people forget this. What do you feel is lacking within the current system in terms of support for adults on the spectrum?

Colin… There is no or little support from the government for adults, cause its taken as read that the diagnosis will be realised early enough to support them at an early age the support seems more geared towards children than adults, we are left to really fend for ourselves. There is a charity drop in center I can go to, but no 24/7 service. Basically I was given a diagnosis and go.

Claire… “I would have to say that this concern is voiced by every adult on the spectrum that I’ve come to know. It would seem the government just ain’t “getting it” either that or they don’t give a S**t!!!”

If I told you Mr David Cameron reads the blog (u never know lol) what would be your message to him?

Colin… We adults deserve support just as much as anyone else! Sweeping us under the carpet don’t help anyone, everyone talks about inclusion but if it cost money or difficult then you can forget it!

Claire… As an adult with AS can I ask you… Do the meltdowns, anxiety and extremely challenging behaviours improve with age, are you better able to control such  meltdowns now?

Colin… In my case the meltdowns still happen, but are less frequent than they used to be. As for controlling them I’m not sure I can control them… All I can say is that they don’t last as long as they did.

Claire… If you could go back in time and do things differently knowing what you know now what would it be?

Colin…  Not sure to be honest, I would have liked to have finished my degree in mechanical engineering, but let things slip. Not sure if that was down to my aspergers or not.

Claire… ” I would say it’s never to late to finish the things you started Colin”

How was your school life growing up?

Colin… I Was bullied at school, was a quiet and shy child who was quite happy to play on my own as well as with others. My obsession with music was noticeable to me at an early age about 10 years old.

Claire… “Oh my goodness I’m now getting an insight into the mind of my own little Aspie! Little man is 10 totally obsessed with buses and nothing has ever come closed till…… Now that is. He is a fan of Bruno Mars has stored a huge amount of info on the guy and after getting his album two days ago has memorised every song lyric for every track on the album. He can’t sing through and can drive me a bit potty with his singing lol”

So a quick change of subject! What do you think of our current educational system given that ASD is much more known today?

Colin… I Can only go from my own experiences, since I left school in 1979, can only say that the educational system is slow to react to things even when highlighted. Bullying is still rife now so what does that say?

Claire… “No Comment Colin”…. You know what I think!

So… Do you have any “special interest” Passions that take hold of you? Are these long-standing or do they change over time. Is music still a big part of your life?

Colin…  Music has always been a big part of my life, I’ve  been collecting music in various formats since I was 13. I’m obsessed with downloading music, writing poetry. All other obsessions come and go.

Claire… When are you happiest?

Colin…  Plugged into my iPod and writing poetry.

Claire… Do you or did you have Sensory processing problems as a child? Have these changed, improved or just been replaced?

Colin… Noise affects me and always has…  Just different levels or situations are more difficult to deal with than others, people eating, dogs yelping, get woken by the slightest noise so my sleep pattern is bad.

Claire… “I’ve always thought that Little mans father is an undiagnosed aspie and his pet hate is hearing others eat. You crunch he freaks out”

So, they say some people with AS have a high pain threshold! Do u? Little man don’t really get ill or catch bugs that often (unlike his younger sister) but he feels pain “big time” (if there’s blood we are in trouble) so, this don’t apply to us lol.

Colin…  Not sure if I have a higher threshold for pain, but I have a high threshold for dealing with low temperatures, don’t seem to feel the cold as deeply as others do.

Claire… “Yep Little man is the same…. No coat in winter and don’t take it off in summer”

Did you have many friends as a child and do you now?

Colin…  None, that’s my problem I don’t seem to be able to keep friends. People come into my life and then I let them fade away.

Claire… How do you find social situations?

Colin…  Still difficult, even with people I know.

Claire… What subjects did you excel in at school and what ones never made sense?

Colin… Technical Drawing and Maths.

Claire… Interesting… Can I ask is it mental math that your good at? Just that little man is ace at mental math ( better than me) and other parents have reported the same.

Colin…  Yes mental maths… I used to go to the shops at age 5 for my mother and was always able to count and know it was the right change I was getting for the items I was getting. still don’t use a calculator much in daily life.

Claire… It’s said by some that those with AS lack empathy! What do you say?

Colin… Maybe we lack social skills, but we are loving we just don’t know how to express things well, as for myself I express my self better in my poems than actually speaking etc

Claire… What advice would you give to an adult reading this that suspects they are on the spectrum? Is it to late for a diagnosis, is it really needed?

Colin… It really depends on his or her situation, whether it is affecting work and home life never too late for diagnosis.

Claire… What advice would you give to a child/teen that is struggling to come to terms with their diagnosis seeing themselves as someone who is  “abnormal” with very low self-esteem?

Colin… We are normal, we just look at the world in black and white rather than shades of gray, we can be too trusting. but as people we are no different from what is described as normal! We want to be loved, laugh, etc

Claire… “I just showed this to little man and he said thank you… He likes that!”

Colin… Tell little man I said thank you, us Aspies stick together.

Claire… What advice would you give to parents like me raising a child on the spectrum?

Colin… It will be hard, but if you keep giving your love and support as much as you can, the rewards will come, you will see your child grow into adulthood… I’m not saying with less problems but with more understanding and maybe more control.

Claire… Finally, I’m a big fan of your beautiful poems… I’m wondering if you could write one for us to sum up how life on the spectrum is for you. This would be a great ending to our interview.

I am seen but not seen

They see the book cover

Not the story inside

I breath, I bleed, I think

But I am not part of the crowd

My world is black and white

I can not understand

Subtle shades of grey

Warm bloodied

I am still bereft of love

For emotions are hard to fathom

What is easy for most

I find a mountain to climb

Do not pity me or scorn me

Do not hate me or ridicule me

Born from the womb

I am of flesh and blood

I am human too

By Colin Weir

That was fantastic Colin 🙂 Thanks again for giving us all an insight into the mind of a man with Aspergers.

Please feel free to leave your messages for Colin and I will see he gets them. If anyone would like to contact Colin you can friend request him on Facebook. Let me know and I will be sure to pass you the link.


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