Christmas… Little man style

At long last I write a positive post… And I’m loving it

The blog has been full of doom and gloom this past year! Ok there has been a happy post here and there… But only a small handful at the most. It brings me great joy to report some happiness has gone down in the Little man household … And it’s all thanks to a little thing called Christmas!

We tend to take no day for granted, as we know Little man can often blow like a volcano without any prior warning.  Christmas time can be incredibly stressful for any parent, However parenting a child on the spectrum at Christmas (like most days) can be a great challenge. Social gatherings, changes in routine, over excitement… ect… ect…  All these and more can be a child with asd’s nightmare.

The fact we have had such a hard time this year… What with the whole school situation and the up and coming tribunal, I just wanted us all to have one special day. Was it too much to ask the man above for….  A day without meltdowns or tears, a day where little man felt truly happy, and so did we? I just wanted Little man along with his brother and sister to have an amazing magical day.

Things were looking pretty bleak in the run up to the big day. Little Mans bedtime routine has gone of the wall… The “crazy”  Little dude is settling down to sleep at  6am… Not at all ideal when Mum needs to wrap a thousand gifts. I think it was a whole lot of everything that was contributing to this lack of sleep routine. Since the week before the children officially broke up from school, Little man hasn’t been (And isn’t going back!) As mentioned before in an earlier post… Little Mans mental wellbeing was becoming a great concern and for this reason I decided enough was enough! Luckily we have been told a statement is in the process of being drafted… we’ve just got to wait and see what’s in it and make a preference for a special school. The LEA have already asked all the maintain special schools in and out of the area. They either have no places, or can’t meet his needs… We have been offered five hours tuition in a library in till a school place comes up! What a bloody disgrace! I sure as hell wont be agreeing to this being put in part four of his statement. So…  My point is…. A lot has gone on, and the prospect of a meltdown free day was…. Slim!

Well… I had to eat my own Christmas hat! Christmas was a meltdown free zone. Given the fact Little man had rarely closed his eyes, and his tendency to be easily “set off” when sleep deprived… He  proved me wrong and was a star!

“OK… OK, I would be lying if I said he didn’t have the odd moment… But his ten and that’s what most ten-year olds have… MOMENTS! We had the brother and sister bickering, and he almost lost it when his sister began singing “All I want for Christmas is You” By Mariah Carey (He goes mental if people sing… But this isn’t acceptable and upsets his sister a great deal. He has to learn to tolerate this as his sister tolerates his “loud” singing at all hours… day & night) Apart from these Mini hiccups, We had a pretty awesome Christmas.

This year, given the fact Little man is a non believer in Santa… I let him choose his gifts. He hates surprises and if you get it wrong… “HE TELL’S YOU SO!” So I took my chances and stuck to the plan. I even broke one of my own golden Christmas  rules when I reluctantly agreed to take Little man out with me to the shops where all the crazy christmas shoppers rushed around us. We went the day before Christmas eve and I convinced myself I was in for some hard work… Again I eat my own hat… Little man coped well… If anything I was the one stressed and falling apart. There was one funny story to our trip…  I asked Little man to go to the collection point in Argos while I was at their Jewellery counter awaiting something else. We had been wise and had reserved a number of items via the net ensuring that they would be in stock and would save a great deal of time (Waiting & Aspergers… Never a good combination, as I was about to find out once more…) Once I had collected my item of jewellery I walked over to the collection counter where little man was stood. As I got nearer I could hear him talking to the assistant in an overly formal voice. “I’m not being at all funny, but… The number has been called, yet I don’t see the item I want… My ticket also say’s a six-minute wait… (he now looks at his watch)… I make it ten whole minutes” Can you just imagine the look on this guys face! I think he was utterly gobsmacked…. Once he had gone over my little man’s words in his own head… He replied, “I’m extremely sorry sir, but we have a small problem with staffing today and I will be sure to look for your item right away! Again I’m very sorry” Little man stood nodding like an old grumpy man, and I felt my cheeks glowing. I told the assistant I was very sorry… which lead little man to state… “Shut up Woman, You always undermined me” Lol… He was deadly serious and I was now gobsmacked alongside the assistant and my fellow Christmas shoppers. Sensing a volcano brewing I grabbed our order said my thank you’s and good byes and got us the hell outta there.

I often wonder where he finds these lines… He really does take in everything!

So…  Meltdown avoided… Shopping was a success 🙂

Little Man had been bleating on about getting a smart phone (htc) I was a little reluctant given the price and his age… However I discovered the HTC was a lot like my iPhone (Which he doesn’t leave alone) He would be able to download apps and these applications could have a great impact on his communication skills. There are educational games, applications aims at children with Sen and autism, social stories and more. Also little man has been using music as a de-stressing tool of late. He can listen to music for hours… Sadly the same song or set of songs… Over and Over. The phone doubles up as an mp3 player… Something I was already considering putting on his Christmas list, so the HTC was suddenly becoming very appealing! After finally agreeing we got on the net In the search for one. My god these things are like gold dust at Christmas and things were not looking promising…. Till… One of our local stores emailed me informing me they had just received two in stock and would put one aside for us to collect in store that or the following day. Little Man did not stop begging for his present early… I admit he did my brain so much damage I almost gave in! It was so worth the wait as Christmas morning he was over joyed… So much so that he stood crying! I’m not talking watery eyes… I’m talking River Thames! His father stood shocked, turned to me and said… “Why is he crying, don’t he like now?” He really couldn’t get his head around the fact his son was reacting this way due to sheer happiness. All though it was fantastic to see him so happy (been a while) he didn’t seem to stop! He cried on and off every few hours, he sat staring at it. He spoke about it non stop to anybody that would listen and he took it to his room where he recorded himself announcing  bus destinations!

Other things he added to his christmas list were… Safety pins, magnets, handwriting pens, stapler, new padlock, bus picture, 2011 diary, and lots of stationary items!

After three long days awake (that’s me by the way) due to sleepless nights with little man, Christmas shopping and looking after the children throughout the day, and wrapping Christmas presents till 7.15 am Christmas morning had finally had a huge impact on me… I  fell into bed Christmas night at just past midnight. My bed was warm and comfortable… To me it felt like the best place in the world! After having had such a beautiful christmas day… I thanked god and happily entered the land of nod 🙂

The Christmas Survival Guide

Getting into the seasons spirit of good will, I thought I would do my bit by sharing some Christmas DOS & DON’TS

This is the Parental Christmas Survival Guide.

DO… be prepared for your little darling to hand back that present he considers RUBBISH.

DON’T… invite anyone around your house who you’ve gossiped or nagged about in the past. All children have a mind like a sponge, but our little Aspies have a mind like a safe! Your child telling that Aunt or cousin, “Mummy thinks your a pain in the backside once drunk” isn’t a great situation to land yourself in!

DO…. visit Santa with caution! If you haven’t done so yet be prepeared if your child like Little man is a non believer… Anything could happen! Little man has called the man with the White beard a FAKE, laughed at his fat belly, asked him if he has a real job with meaning, and made him a list of the things he knows he will never get.
Oh and warn Santa that your child may want an indepth conversation surrounding their “special interest”

DON’T… Expect to have control of the TV remote control this Christmas.

DO… Make sure all children have the SAME number of gifts. If they have a present that was more expensive, be sure to make up the numbers with little things. Nothing worse then a Christmas morning meltdown.

DON’T… Run out of gift wrap to find the only thing you have left in the house is left over pink birthday wrapping paper. Believe me it’s so not worth the migraine.

DO… Stock up on essentials! Alcohol & strong painkillers spring to mind. A glass of White to take the edge of the stress and Painkillers for the end of the day when your dragging your arse to bed!!!

DON’T… Be shocked if your little Aspies ask everyone who gives them a gift how much it cost! Little man just can’t help himself.

DO… Not expect a quite Christmas. This one goes for anybody with Children… Full Stop!

DON’T… Even dare take your child on the spectrum out shopping with you. This is the busiest time of year… You wanna get through it alive don’t you!

DO… Make sure when that lady in Argos asks, “Do you want batteries with that” you say, “YES” When you tell a child with Aspergers you forgot to buy the batteries… You can expect a response that isn’t a great one!

DON’T… Try to force your child to like all the latest toys, because the thought of buying them… Batteries, Pad locks, and 20 cans of Dr pepper make you wanna cry. I used to buy Little man toys that he had no interest in because I convinced myself that he will play with them soon enough… Because that’s what children do! Isn’t it? Now if he wants a battery charger or a food processor… That’s what he gets!

DO… Be prepared to watch that DVD you got them… Over & Over again.

DON’T… Pull crackers without due notice.

DO… Expect ignorance! No not from your child, but from others! If your having people over… Choosing those who know and understand your child is always best.

DON’T… Ask your child if your Christmas party dress looks Ok! Unless very Honest opinions are being sought!

DO… Let them wear themselves out. If like Little Man your child has a poor sleep pattern at night, You will be grateful when they do sleep! For us it’s normally Christmas, after a long day out, Birthday parties… Ect…Ect.

DON’T… Make big plans for Christmas at a hotel, holiday park, or aboard! This maybe Ok for some families… However your child will be most comfortable at home where he can escape the mayhem of Christmas day to retreat to his sanctuary of loveliness… The Bedroom! This also goes for parents needing that five minute hideaway!

DO… Make sure your day is well planned out. Just like any other day, your child will want order and routine to their day. They will want to know what time dinner is and who’s visiting and when (of course this has a lot to do with the gifts people will bring as opposed to the person bringing them!)

DON’T… Get drunk and make a complete tit of yourself! Your child will never let you live it down… Telling everybody what you did for weeks, even months after!