Tag Archives: metaphor

The things they say

16 Oct

I’ve talked about Little man’s Literal understand and way of thinking a number of times here on the blog. This way of thinking means Little man tends to come out with some classic lines.

When a teacher told Little man to be co-operative, he stated…“What like the Co-operative food shop?”

“To many this is better known as the Coop”

Yes quite cute, still… if he had been in mainstream, that would have been recorded as sarcasm, documented and even worse, it would have lead to a nasty sanction.

Many of the misunderstanding that occurred during little mans days in his old mainstream primary school were caused by a lack of understanding.

Over and over again I would express the importance of “Not using metaphors when engaging in conversation with my child” yet those that did, continued to do so!

It was only yesterday I came across a report by the ASD outreach team that clearly stated that teachers needed to reframe from the use of ambiguous language when talking to my child.

What really tics me off is when somebody raises their eyebrows, turns to me and states…

“Well, I’m sure he understands what I meant”

A statement I’ve heard far to often!

“No, he bloody well doesn’t! What do you think I’m stating this stuff for, the fun of it? Where I’m standing, its far from fun!”

Recently I had a conversation with a stranger (Gosh, look at me talking to strangers) actually this was an elderly woman sat next to me on the bus who seemed quite pleasant. Well, that was in-till she stated her grandson had been diagnosed as having the

“naughty boy condition!”

Hang on a minute…

“The what… ? Sorry, You’ve lost me!”

She continues and finally goes on to say

“Autism! What a load of old cobblers”

Seriously, at first I remember thinking, ‘What an oldie thing to say” (Yes I know, now who’s being stereotype).

Then I thought, “Wow, another day, another person tanked up with ignorance.”

You see I’ve faced this type of ignorance a number of times and looking at her I knew what was coming next! “It wasn’t around in my day”

I was bang on as this did shortly follow.

“Oh, my own child has the naughty boy disorder”

Needless to say her face glowed an awesome shade of red and we didn’t talk for the remaining ten minute journey time.

I wasn’t angry, I’m past all that! I just pitted her way of thinking!

How can you blame this society for thinking the they do when our national newspapers label disorders such as ADHD and others like it,

‘The naughty child disorder’ that entitles parents and carers to drive around in new cars that are paid for by the DLA.

Do they not release that in order to get a car your child’s condition is likely to be tied to other conditions that affect the child’s mobility! No, I guess not! After all the national newspaper in question only bothered to go by the one statistic, which was the number of claims that relate in some way to ADHD. My guess is these children didn’t all just have a diagnosis of ADHD like many will know it’s a condition that is closely related to autism and many children carry a diagnosis of both.

I’ve seen parents with a child who really could use that car, lets not forget, most of the cost are met by funding it through the money they would usually be given in the form of payments. This money is given to meet the child’s mobility needs, not care, this is a different thing altogether!

Yes, of course there are some driving their pimped out bimmers when yes, the car could go to a much needy family (your always gonna get them people) yet, isn’t this the same as every other benefit? The system is a mess, not just one section of it! All of it!

I wasn’t angry about the article, I don’t let myself get that way anymore, I again pity those that wrote it and pray their child is never born different in anyway (I must state, “NO I DON’T HAVE A CAR PAID BY THE STATE, THAT OF THE TAX PAYERS MONEY, I DON’T HAVE A CAR WHAT SO EVER!” You may have already worked this out what with the above description of my recent bus travels with the elderly, but I just wanted to make that clear!

I believe a great deal of the issues our children face are due to that of others misconceptions. This could be anything from the way they talk, understand or behave in public.

Another bus incident (isn’t surprising given buses are little man’s main focus within his special interest in transport). We got on his favourite bus (the one with the one very high seat with a pane of glass right in front of it). The seat is basically right up their by the driver and little man like’s nothing more than to sit in it, in-order to play the role. Only this one time somebody was actually sat in “his seat” He stood there staring just waiting for the woman (middle aged) to move and let him sit down. When she didn’t he claimed quite polity too,

“Excuse me your in my seat”

she went from a look of disbelief to a giggle when stating

“Listen sunshine, has it got your name on it?”

Now their was a double whammy right there! ‘Sunshine’ & “… has it got your name on it?” was bound to confuss

“My name isn’t Sunshine”

he claimed while giving the chair a once over to see if it had his “Name on it” Of course I was trying to get him to come and sit somewhere else without any bloody luck what so ever!

He actually went as far as asking her to stand up so he could check the cushion for his name.

“Is this kid for real?”

was something she asked aloud!

before mumbling under her breath something that sound like,

“sarcastic little…”

Again she displayed that adorable shade of red all over her face when I annouched that.

“His for real all right! and so is his autism”

We don’t tend to use the word “Aspergers” some don’t seem to have the foggiest idea what I’m banging on about when I do!

So, there you have it! My little dude can say the funniest of things but these can also have a flip side, one that unfortunately leads to the same old thing…

“IGNORANCE”

I don’t want to wear your shoes mum!

28 Mar

“Mum I really wouldn’t do that”, shouted little man in a stern voice.

“Well, you would if you were in my shoes mate” I replied without taking my eyes off the screen as I frenetically typed my angry email to yet another not so professional, professional!

Silence……

Then……

“Mum, why would I be in your shoes? There far to big and not the kind of shoes I would wear, they are made for girls and look way to uncomfortable for a ten year old boy!”

Yep, you would have thought that I would known better by now wouldn’t you! My use of ambiguous language could lead to alsorts of problems

Little man isn’t stupid, far from it, he just doesn’t understand why people don’t just say what they mean! I’ve explained the use of metaphors to which he will often reply “that’s just stupid and isn’t worth saying” I suppose he has a point but to most these terms just slip out without a seconds thought and that was the case now.

I glanced up from my Mac, to see little man stood before me shaking his head, deep in thought. I knew I would need to explain myself and that once I had he would try to store the new little metaphor deep in his head in a bid to recognise it if ever used again. This technique is often a success but there are a few he just can’t get his head around.

he will often attempt to give it a whirl himself, Sadly more often then not this Is done in the wrong context, using the metaphor at a time it isn’t needed sounding totally ‘odd’ and often inappropriate with no relevance to the conversation often coming across as if to be using sarcasm. (could be a huge problem in later life) I’m very thankful that more often then not little man sees these little metaphors as completely uncalled for and really un-needed.

I put down the Mac and gave little man my full attention.

“I really didn’t mean you would wear my shoes as you are very right they are not suitable for boys, especially children as they are definitely for ladies and as you stated, they are most uncomfortable”

He stood concentrating on my words, taking it all in.

“You see what I meant was, you would likely send such an email if you was in a situation of my kind!”, So, by saying if you were in my shoes… I’m merely suggesting you would take this same action. This is the same for any situation not just an email, it may be that I forgot to do something because I was so busy and if u suggested that I was stupid for forgetting I may say that you would have forgotten too if in my shoes! understand?”

“How stupid mum! it’s pointless as you don’t become a person for wearing their shoes! we all have our own minds, shoes don’t come into it mum” With a huge Si and drop of his shoulder’s he shook his head and laughed at me as if I was silly.

A few days later we were sat on the sofa together watching the film ‘White Chicks’ (a comedy where two black cops go undercover as two young white socialites in a bid to find the bad guys, but mainly save their butts from being sacked) Little man was laughing hysterically alongside me. We sat and watched the whole film together while munching on ice cream and spoiling ourselves with a can of something fizzy (trying to cut down little mans fizz intake, that’s why i refer to fizzy as a treat)

After having watched the film little man turned to me and said, “That was really funny mum! I can’t believe that them guys wore ladies shoes for all that time just to understand the situation”

“What?” I sputtered

As little man went to repeat what he had just said, I stopped him stating, “oh I know what you mean sweetheart” giving him a kiss on the head I got up and made us a warm drink for bed.

Only this time while I stood boiling the kettle, it was me who gave a little Si, shook my head slowly while displaying a slight smile. Let’s leave this one for another day I thought to myself!

Oh and by the way, The little man was right… The angry email really wasn’t a good idea!

How Mummy should have listen to her ten year old aspie!

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