Tag Archives: love
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#silentsunday

14 Apr

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Dear Little Man

31 Aug

Dear Little Man

One day I’ll set you free, you have my word on that. I’m sorry you feel held back…. I never wanted this.

You see, its not that I don’t trust you because honestly I do. It’s them I don’t trust, those in this world can be so crawl, more than I hope you will ever need to know!

I know you feel it’s so not fair when the boy next door you’re age goes everywhere. You think its because you have Asperger’s that I worry and say I’m holding you back,! Maybe you’re right, but only a bit… I just don’t think it’s safe out there.

Your just 11 years old, still so young, so much to learn. I am your mother and it’s my job to keep you safe from others.

You go to the park the local shops too, but to have you go far would be a worry to myself and others.

I hope that one day you’ll see that everything I do, I do it for you, not me!

As the days tick away and the years grow closer, your Independence and awareness will be much much stronger.

Little man… its difficult for me… I just love you and want to keep you safely near me.

So… please dry your tears, because with time you will see, that all that I do is simply because I care so much for you.

Love mum

Silent Sunday

11 Sep

Little man writes poetry

23 Feb

I’ve been meaning to share this for a little over a week now.

Poetry seems to be a talent for many on the spectrum. I read an article recently about a girl on the spectrum who completely spoke in rhyme even if nothing was said for hours when she did speak it would always be in line so that it rhymed with the last syllable of whatever it was she had said two hours previously.

Little man sometimes answers a questions etc in a rhyming manner, however this isn’t all the time and he certainly doesn’t remember the last word he said a few hours earlier… though his a firm believer that a poem sounds better when it rhymes with the last syllable.

As most will know from a few of my past posts. Little man has become a fan of Bruno Mars. After I brought him the album some few weeks back, it’s been played daily to a extremity! Day one he had memorized every single lyric for every single song (much to my delight) pretty amazing, but also a little annoying.

He started doing this really irritating thing that was driving me round the bend. Everytime I spoke to him he would turn, look at me, open his mouth and out would fall song lyrics, completely unrelated to the topic at hand! He didn’t sing… more like spoke the lyrics before turning and walking away. With a sigh of relief I can safely say that this phase has come to a magical end. Sadly the obsession remains and is now on a equal par with transport.

Little man has always loved to create poetry. I remember a world cup poem he created last year, it was full on awesome and definitely a one of a kind!

On Valentines day on collection of my daughter from school she handed me one of her beautiful handmade cards (she is quite the little artist) The words she wrote were full of emotion and I admit I shed a tear or two (real emotional mummy is me)

Little man made a few of these cards when he was in the early years at school and although they mainly consisted of drawings of trains, buses & maps with no words inside (unless the teacher had noticed and therefore helped him write something) Regardless I always found them beautiful. The last few years, mothers day, birthdays, valentines etc Alice makes the cards Little man signs them. I’ve been reading a lot that many children/adults on the spectrum are great artist, I myself have created the autism art page on this very blog! However Little man has never really been a keen drawer unless it’s transport, maps or another new invention. He hates to use colour and I’ve learnt that this is purely to do with his frustration with his own fine motor skills… he has problems keeping the colour within the lines and has difficulty maintaining his concentration so he just won’t bother trying anymore. Although his sister, like myself love to draw and create pieces of art I’ve come to learn that my little man is an artist in his own right. He loves to write pieces of art (well dictate or type seems more fitting, as writing pen to paper is his pet hate) His poetry is great… very deep and meaningful, I think it’s his way of expressing his emotions at times. Then there are those that are full of humour… Whatever the kind there always pretty amazing.

So once home from the school he went off to his room where he closed the door behind him and vanished for the next half hour.

Sat on my bed half asleep but conscious enough to know little man was now stood directly infront of me.
One eye open (the night before wasn’t easy) I asked him what he wanted to which he made an annoucement.

“Attention please, Attention”

he then went on to say at volume…

“Today is valentines day, and all I know is its all about love and that stuff” he pursed to pull a funny face as to say love and stuff was yuck. “Its also my Nan’s birthday on Valentines day”

He was correct but I still sat wondering where the hell this speech was going!

“So, as I’m to tired after a long days learning at the library. I’ve decided not to make my mum a Valentines card, But I’ve made a poem for you mum instead. It’s all about Love & stuff” Again he did that face to resemble a person that was feeling sick. (the facial expression programme was certainly paying off)

I sat up and took note, smiling I nodded and said, “go on then do your thing”

“Its not a thing woman” he said in a offended manner! (yep sounded like his father a little more everyday)

“it’s a poem!”

“Calm down, I didn’t mean it in a rude way, it’s just something u say” I explained before adding…

“Oh, and a little less of the woman! It’s mum to you”

He laughed, cleared his throat and held up the paper in his hand at eye level then began to read aloud…

For the best, a poem that you will never want to miss.

He was a man that you miss and want to kiss
Your her blood and flesh
and nothing will go to mess
unless a heart will be broken
a tick of a token
You will be gone
and regret the bet you set.

Hands together I clapped and went in for a kiss which he reluctantly excepted with a screwed up face, only to then wipe it from his cheek with his sleeve saying, “yuck mum, that was a wet one”

“Nevermind that, your poem was exceptional” I proudly annouced.

to which he repiled.

“I’m good at this” (so modest like his mum)

As he turned around to leave the room I asked him where he was going now!

” I like the word exceptional mum so I’m going to put it in my book of best words. It’s not as good as the word loath, that’s still the best word”

He then came back with his book and asked me to write the word and it’s meaning. Of course I complied.

I get the feeling that everythings going to be alright from now on. With the exception of the odd bump in the road, i’m sure things are on the up. I’m so proud of all three of my children, each one with their own special character and amazing ways.

Looks like little man will be writing poetry besides patroling London transport as a member of the transport police when his older. Time can only tell.

Happy Valentines & Autism Sunday

14 Feb

Just want to take this opportunity to wish all my readers new & old a great Valentines Day. Also I want to wish you all a wonderful Autism Sunday.

Hoping you all have a great day however you chose to spend it. Anyone that’s going to the London Service In woodford wells. Enjoy and say your prayers with much love & care:)

Hoping that not only will everyone enjoy spending time with their loved ones but also take a little time out from romance and show a little love for Autism & Asperger’s. I know I will:) Was going to head off by train to undertake the 18 mile journey to All saints Church woodford wells to show my support but sadly it looks unlikely as there is no one available to sit the children. Instead I will do my bit and try raising awareness for autism and aspergers on my blog & groups, I will devote some time reading and commenting on blogs. Visiting forums and popping on-line to say hi to all the friends I have been lucky to make through having a child with asd. I love you all. And last but most important I will say a pray for every single person that like my son lives with autism- aspergers.

Have sent you all a special Valentines card. A card that will bring a smile to a million faces.

BE MY VALENTINE

15 Feb

So Yesterday was the day for love.
I had a lovely Valentine’s day. Ok I didn’t go out for no candle light dinner for two but being with the kids and Hubby was anoth for me. I got some lovely gifts and even G and Alice made me a wonderful card full of glitter and hearts. G is only 8years old but he has always said that he thinks Jess My sisters friend is really pretty. How cute! she’s 13 so a bit old LOL.
He always talks to her about his trains and buses. Luckly for him she is happy to sit and listen. He asked us yesterday if we think jess would be his valentine. Sweet! We told him we were sure she wouldn’t but she maybe busy today.

He was ok with that he told everyone that jess was his Valentine.

On the whole Valentines day was a pretty good day:) The house was full of love as always and thats just the way I like it.

A Angel by my side

24 Jan

Dear Nanny Peg
It’s been 9 long years since god took you away and I miss you like you wouldn’t believe.
Things down here are ok. Alice is going to have a birthday. And little G is being little G. I still find it a great sadness that you never got to meet them. As you know I found out I was pregnant with Giovanni a few days after you had passed on:(
I was so happy yet sad I could not share my wonderful news with you. Did you send him to me? I think maybe you did you were a person that always sent amazing gifts’ and that’s so what he is. An increadable gifted child.
Hearing he had Aspergers I didn’t no what life would bring. But now I do. Along with his little sister Alice they bring great joy to my life. I could never ask for more then this.
When G does something that I find hard to understand and I’m at my witts end I sit and think what would nanny Peg tell me to do? 9 out of 10 it works Thats why I believe you are a Angel looking over us and guiding us though this sometimes difficult life. I love and miss you so much but knowing you are a Angel shining your light on my children a light that shows them the way makes me smile a smile as well as cry a tear.
I love you nanny Peg
love Claire.xxxxx

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