Autistic boy aged 9 bagged up like trash

I’ve heard some pretty horrifying stories involving the mistreatment of children with autism spectrum disorders & special educational needs, yet this next story just angered me that little more.

A week or more ago I was sent yet another link reporting a disgusting act of abuse inflicted on a child diagnosed with autism and special educational needs. The worse part of this story was that such abuse occurred at a place most consider to be a safe and caring environment, the child’s school! The abuse in question that was inflicted on the child by those there to teach him as well as protect him from harm was that of his teacher(s).

It has been reported that a nine-year old boy who was thought to be enrolled in a special educational needs programme and was assign a teaching aide knowledgeable in autism and SEN (special educational needs) was stuffed in a large duffel bag with the drawstring toggle pulled tightly.

The Child named Christopher Baker who lives in Kentucky in the United States with his mother Sandra Baker, was stuffed into the bag because he reportedly refused to work, smirked and throw a ball across the classroom (instead of putting it down as instructed to do so by his teacher).

Yet again we are hearing about a child subjected to crawl forms of abuse due to a complete lack of care, understanding or training! This is treatment no child should be subjected to, especially those with additional needs… there is no words for the disgust I felt when reading the report, I therefore dare to think how his mother must have felt on discovering such treatment was taking place.

Mr’s Baker, the child’s mother told reporters that she was called into the Mercer County school, in-which her child was a third grader, just a few hours after her child had arrived to start his day’s learning due to reports his behaviour was becoming challenging (he was bouncing of the walls)!

On reading this I found myself nodding, it’s not uncommon as a parent to a child on the autism spectrum, to receive daily calls from your child’s school! This is not only something I relate to but a great deal of parents, nearly all those I’ve ever spoken to know all to well as this is a problem they are presented with at some part of their child’s education, especially if being taught in a mainstream school which was the case for Little man.

Mrs Baker states that on arrival she didn’t see her child but instead saw a large green duffel type bag on the floor in the middle of the school hall! The drawstring toggle was pulled tightly only leaving a small hole. Beside the bag sat a educational aide! It wasn’t in till Mrs Baker heard, “Moma is that you” coming from inside the bag did she realise that her 9-year-old autistic son was being held inside.
As a mother I dare to imagine the scale of horror and anger this mother felt on discovering her child was actually rolled up inside that bag or worse the fear felt by the child subjected to such a terrible ordeal!

What gets me is the fact a educational aide is right there, sat beside him, like this is a totally acceptable thing to do to a child.
Amazingly there was more… to add to an already shocking situation, Mr’s Baker reports how on ordering the aide to release her son while experiencing a whole spectrum of emotions, the aide actually struggled to release the child what with the toggle being pulled so tightly meaning it took longer than it should to free him. Mrs Baker made a valid but worrying point, What if there was some kind of emergency, something relating to his health or even a fire within the premisses? Seriously, it really doesn’t bare thinking about, does it!

The mother reported that once out the bag her son was clearly distressed, sweaty with eyes like half dollars, he was noticeably in a state of shock.

Christopher stated when asked by his mother why he was in the bag, it was because he didn’t do his work! Later reports from various publications state that it was this with the additional factor, he smirked and throw a ball across the classroom. Seriously, do you see this as “Challenging behaviour” It was my understanding that if a child doesn’t do his work a good teacher knows how to deal with such an issue, what good is a teacher who does not uptake and embrace such a challenge of finding a way to engage a child in such classroom activities? As for the smirked or even the ball throwing… god only knows how my son would have been treated if in this child’s shoes, for he has done things considered a thousand times more challenging while attending both mainstream and special school.

What I read next deeply troubled me and I’m guessing the whole nations parents to a child with additional needs felt somewhat the same!

Reports claim that Mrs Baker was told that the bag was in fact a type of therapy bag used as therapy for Christopher’s autism! If this isn’t a shocking enough revolution, Mrs Baker also states how she was then informed that this was not the first time her son was placed in the duffel bag!

I have to admit, having read the story I needed to stop reading for a while! I then cried for a number of people and reasons! I cried for the child in question and any other child like him subjected to such cruelty, for Mrs Baker and the emotions she felt on such a horrid discovery, but more so due to my anger at the fact the school have somehow justified such actions by branding them as therapy when really its just another use of child abuse! If I, or anyone else who parents a child on the autism spectrum, regardless of what country they were from, stuffed their child into an oversized duffel bag, leaving only a small gap for ventilation and then claimed it to be therapy, we would have our arses slung in jail and any children in our care removed and rightly so! Yet if the child’s teacher is to do such an act it is instead seen as therapeutic? Bull S#%t! It’s a joke and a massive act of injustice.

Although the case is still under investigation Mr Dennis Davis (who is reported to be the interim superintendent) stated that under state and federal confidentiality laws prohibited him from commenting! He could therefore not confirm nor deny the allegations made.

Now, Little man has thankful never been stuffed in a duffel bag as punishment, but as many know he was treated in a crawl and undignified way while in his mainstream school! Little man was carried by his arms and legs in front of other pupils through the playground, he was restrained, taught in isolation, never included in educational trips or class activities (instead left with a TA in a side room during Christmas assemblies and class parties, only close enough to hear such activities taking place). There were other things, things left unproved, Little man’s word alongside other pupils against a string of adults, incidents not fully investigated or investigated at all!

At least he eventually got a written apology, given just before the pending tribunal for disability discrimination! Mrs Baker and her son have yet to get even that!

It’s my opinion that the laws (or lack of them) surrounding restraint and isolation against children with Special educational needs both here, the states and a whole host of other places, need to be changed! Just like here in the UK, there is no laws protecting children from such actions of those above. Yes, I understand that the child who endangers his teachers, peers or themselves may need to be restrained, but in what way? It’s my opinion that this child did none of the above, he was not a danger, just a child with autism and SEN, yet regardless, how is placing a child in a duffel bag considered to be anything other than abuse?
There is no hard guidelines and practice on what is considered to be lawful restraint as I know from experience here in the UK there are far to many loop holes! How is it that most teachers teaching throughout our schools hasn’t received special training on how to handle such challenges, especially when mainstream school’s across the entire country and beyond are finding themselves educating children with autism, SEN, EBD (emotional behavioural difficulties) ADHD and a whole host of other conditions?

Sandra Baker and her son Christopher, may not live here in the UK but their story is still a story that deserves recognition by us the british public! Mrs Baker is now campaigning for those involved to stand accountable either by losing they’re teaching position or at least being fully trained to meet the needs of children like Christopher! I for one think this is more than reasonable, as in all honesty… I’d be calling for a prison sentence myself (the chances of such happenings are minimal) though it is my opinion that a person capability of such an offence should never be allowed to work with children again! Whether this is in a teaching position or that of another all together.

So… What I’m asking all my lovely loyal readers to do to help Sandra and Christopher Baker in their campaign for justice? First, if desired please watch the news report where Sandra and Christopher can be seen talking about this terrible turn of events…

Then, all, I ask is for a few seconds of your time to sign a petition on Change.Org.

This petition has already began to grab the nations support already holding an impressive 147,126 people’s signatures of those in the States and around the world! It was set up by 18-year-old Lydia Brown who is also on the autism spectrum and created the petition having heard the story and seen the publics reaction to it!

For those bloggers (especially mummy bloggers) who read my blog I’d love for you to share this and engage others to sign the petition, whether that’s via a little tweeting, a small post, or a bit of facebooking! I know I have some pretty influential contacts so please help Christopher get justice for the abuse he suffered.

Image via Wikipedia

Related articles

• Mother condemns Kentucky school for putting autistic son in duffel bag (guardian.co.uk)
• Mom Says School Stuffed Autistic Son in Duffle Bag (foxnews.com)
• Mother: Teachers put autistic son in bag (cnn.com)
• Merlin’s Magic Wand helping children benefit from the magic, that is unless they have autism! (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Believe it or not. And we aren’t speaking of Ripley’s .. (oforchristsakes.wordpress.com)

The day my boy got his smile back.

I sat in the school hall watching the school nativity all the children in each year combine to create one marvellous Christmas spectacle! So, why was I sat with a tear in my eye? My daughter looked so beautiful up there, and god I was proud, off course I was! Though this wasn’t a tear of joy, something was still missing and that something was my son! As I watched his sister and the rest of the schools over excited children take part in a glowing performance,my eldest child, ‘Little man’ was sat at home, restricted from all participation! Why? Well, he hadn’t injured himself, he wasn’t hit by a sudden dose of stage fright, he was told No! Why? Because his school thought of him as a liability not a child, not a child with feelings, not a child at all!

There were lots of why’s! Some coming from myself directed at a head teacher and a SENCO who quite honestly didn’t give a shit! The why’s from Little man directed at myself, a mother without the heart to be truthful! Yet deep down he knew, I know he did!

You may have the word why running through your mind right now as you read this! You maybe asking, “Why I’m even writing this?”

Yes, the above situation wasn’t yesterday, it was just one of many crawl blows thrown at my child at the end of last year. The example above took place in December 2010.

Now, I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past, and I’m not (well, not really). It’s hard to forget and I doubt we ever will, though the reason it was actually brought to the front of my mind was for reasons of happiness and excitement, not sadness.

Yes, now in 2011 and finally in a school that understands him, I finally got to see my little man take part in a whole school activity.

This time as I entered my son’s school there was no stares or whispers. I spoke with fellow parents unworried about their response when they would discover who my child was. This is a feeling I’ve waited and waited for, now I finally have it!

It was the celebration of the harvest festival and parents were invited into school for a special assembly. Gosh I was excited, despite the fact I had literally had not a wink of sleep. With this in mind I headed off upstairs to chill for a bit. Little H was with his father so that left me a bit of mummy time. Running the hot water into the bath tube the air was filled with the scent of Radox relaxing bath salts, “This is the life” I thought as I slowly lowered a leg in the tub!

Ring… ring… ring… “Bloody typical” I shouted to myself aloud as I almost slipped and broke my neck as I frantically dashed for my mobile located on my bedside table.

“Hello” I spouted in a somewhat breathless tone (which couldn’t of sounded great) especially on discovering it was in-fact Little mans school who thankfully put me at ease instantly by stated “Don’t worry, there is nothing to worry about” Turns out the Little man has actually left his lunch at home, well, that or in his transport (the taxi he takes to school of a morning) His school don’t currently serve school dinners. This is mainly due to how new the school is and the fact there really is little point employing staff and serving food for under 20 kids (not like the little man will agree to eat it any how).

This only meant one thing! Mum would have to deliver that lunch asap! First I had to unearth it, I couldn’t actually recall seeing it since he left at 8.30 am that morning. I searched the house like a mad woman and at 11.50 and the school being some distance away (one train and a bus kind of distance) I began to worry when I still couldn’t find it! It wasn’t a case of just throw together another one, believe it or not I buy the stuff fresh each morning in some kind of hope he will eat it, so in-order to do so I’d need a shop!

As I darted out the door, on the mission for lunch something caught my eye! Surely not? Hang on…. No,… It only bloody is! There sat his Chelsea FC lunch box on top of the wheely bin. Well, I agree it’s not the most pleasant place to keep your lunch but with the clock ticking, I came to the conclusion, “It wasn’t actually in the bin! Would he actually need to know?” I guess not!

I finally made it to the school, red-faced and paranoid that I didn’t smell like the aroma of Radox bath salts, and more like a sweating scum-bag but given the fact no one smiled and moved away, I came to the conclusion it was my lack of sleep making me think this way (after all, it’s not like I hadn’t washed or something)!

The assembly wouldn’t start till 1.30 and it was half past midday and without a car and feeling like I was in the middle off nowhere I went outside sat on what was quite a pleasant little bench, indulged in my nasty but pleasurable habit of puffing a cigarette while scrolling trough my twitter timeline, engaging in far to many conversations to remain sane before going back inside to find my little man waiting for me in the reception-area.

“Mum, I’m not having a great day” he told me! Apparently no one was! The teacher described it as one of those days where the children all seem to be experiencing some kind of upset. Let’s not forget these children all have an autism spectrum condition, all face a range of difficulties and the smallest things can cause problems. Chatting with my little man it would seem he was excited yet a little nervous about his piece that he had offered to read in the assembly. My little man wanted to do the reading and was adamant. We read it together and he read it perfect! Confidence was the issue here something that had become smashed over the years.

As Little man went off to get ready I got to say hello to the very lovely Anna Kennedy. For those of you who don’t know who Ann is, I’ll enlighten you!

Anna isn’t only the founder of little mans independent special school for children with autism and aspergers, she’s also a parent of two children on the spectrum who felt her only option left to get her boys into a school was to open one herself. This wasn’t little man’s current school but another called ‘Hillingdon Manor’ in Middlesex and this all happened back in the nineties. Baston house (Little man’s school) is a school that Anna has open more recently. Anna has since established a bit of a name for herself as an inspirational advocate for autism and is also now a very successful business woman. I for one agree that Anna is inspirational, actually she’s a breath of fresh air to the autism community and I couldn’t be happier to have my child in a school that has been made possible by this very woman. My guess is many parents feel this gratefulness that I am currently feeling as I write this down.

Having spoken to Anna for some time (way before little man started school) on networks such as twitter and facebook (Little man also appeared on a news report on bullying that Anna organised) it was lovely to finally meet her in person.

As I sat In the hall waiting for the children’s performance I felt proud that my son was a part of it all. He ran around and his anxiety was a tad increased, plus the fact I was there meant he become a little bit of a terror, but so did a few of the children. What was magical was the fact no one made an issue about it, if the children ran from their chairs or dashed off behind the stage curtains they were encouraged to come back to their seats in a clam and unthreatening manner. Not one teacher raised their voice, not one!

The vicar from the local church came to speak about the occassion in which the children were celebrating. The table was covered in food that the children had donated. I had to laugh when the vicar stated, “Look at all this lovely food you all brought” only for one young man to shout out, “Actually, I brought in most of it” What a classic!

The vicar told a story to symbolise what the true meaning was of the Harvest festival and the children did shout out some pretty random things (little man more than anyone else, I think) Any other school he would have been reprimanded for such behaviour! They all put up their hands but just could not retain the urge to state what it was they wanted to say, this however was fine!

When it came to the reading Little man and a few others gathered at the stage. All giggled and in turn each took the microphone and read aloud (beautifully I must add)! Little man was last and as he took the mic he said one word and then froze. He turned to his TA and stated “I can’t do it, please do it” I knew he could read it, after all I heard him not half an hour before when we practised. My son hadn’t ever been given such a chance till now and his confidence just wasn’t there! Then something beautiful happened! Two of the staff, including his teaching assistant (who he is most keen on) and the other boys who had previously read came together with little man and read the poem with him. There was no laughing at him, no nasty remarks and no huff from the teacher, just pure encouragement!

I didn’t only write this post to express my delight at the situation we are now in, and although I wanted to share such delight with you all, I have another more important reason!

“When life seems like it cannot get much worse and you’re in the height of your long fought out battle to get your child what they did! When you think there really is no light at the end of that very long tunnel, please don’t give up, just remember this post!”

Those of you that take your child to school everyday and collect them without a hiccup, you should never take such straightforwardness for granted… You really don’t know how lucky you are!

Thank you to everyone at Baston house for giving me hope and giving my child back his smile, the greatest gift of all.

Related articles

• Teaching Teachers About Autism (psychologytoday.com)
• Autism Reality Check: Huffington Post Now Misrepresents Autism Disorders (autisminnb.blogspot.com)
• Where’s the support for autistic young people? (guardian.co.uk)

Little man takes over the blog!

Well, Hello everyone

Very special post for you all today, a treat for all that voted for me as their Most Inspiring blogger, I’m humbled and still on cloud nine that I won.

Anyway enough off all that, I’m boring every one with my over excitement.

So, as for this treat I have to share? Those who have been following this blog from day dot will know how hard its been and may remember a post I was preparing back in late 2010?

It was in actual fact an interview as opposed to a post.

The person being interviewed would be my very own Little man (aka a boy with aspergers)

Yet things got messy and things were now far to uncertain in little man’s life. I was confused! Can you just imagine how he felt!

I made a claim to the tribunal on the grounds of discrimination against Little man’s old mainstream primary who were now teaching him in isolation, hiding him from ‘Ofsted’ inspectors, excluding him daily, which they did once or twice on an unofficial basis! This soon stopped as I set about learning the Ins and outs of educational law.

Little man was never able to mix with his peers, he missed one school trip after another, till he snapped and began throwing his whole body into brick walls, scratching his arms till they bleed and whacking his head against the wall!

He even sat in a room alone as his peers enjoyed Christmas Carols in assembly.

Final straw was well and truly pulled and I withdrew and become his mum and his teacher for a few months. He then got a home tuition programme on the grounds there were medical reasons.

We were now fighting for an assessment, then a statement. We got both, but the statement wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. Only a few months back did we receive his now final statement with everything in it (OT and SALT)

best of all his attending an independent special school for children with Autism and Aspergers.

We withdrew the discrimination case at the last-minute settling outer tribunal. We now have the apology letter for the heartache caused. It’s not going to repair things but it’s something and little man can look at that one day when he needs to as he often blames himself.

I was also taken to court for Non school attendance, what a disgrace I know! At least I didn’t go to prison, though it was possible.

Now life is better, I look at that mess and think about how stressed and unhappy we were as a family! That’s why I think now would be a great time to got that bit further and let Little man do a bit of the talking for a change, hopefully building up some confidence along the way.

We don’t have a magical tale to tell, just some pretty normal random stuff and a bit about the issues above. All the same we really hope you enjoy reading…

It’s 4 pm Little man returns from his day at school via his transport/taxi. He doesn’t ran off to his room like he always did in the past, things are different somehow now!

He came and sat with me and he spontaneously begins telling me about his day. He received ten thumbs up the highest achievement one could get! I was chuffed and he was just as happy, I could tell by the big fat grin spread across his chops.

Mum: So, Little Man do you fancy being interviewed

LM (Little man) Being What?

Mum: Interviewed!!!

LM: Like on the news mum?

We’ve both done reports with the BBC news and ITN as well as local papers and radio.

I can’t blame him for thinking it!

I explained what I wanted to do in terms of sharing it with readers from the blog. He looked at me like a weird crazy chick.

Mum: If I interview you the readers will hear your own voice instead of your mums!

LM: How, if its written?

Yep he has a literal understanding to which I try my best to avoid them little sayings but they sometimes slip of the tongue.

LM: What do you mean they want to hear my voice instead of my mums! You are my mum!

Yep, I’d hit him with a double dose of confusion!

Mum: Oh,You know what I mean (as soon as I said it I thought what a stupid thing to say).

LM: Umm Nooooo

A little bit more prep and we were back on track (though I avoided making that statement out loud)!

Ready steady go…..

Mum: Hi there, what’s your name and how old are you?

A burst of laughter filled the air!

LM: You know my name mum stop asking me stuff you know.

Mum: It’s not for me, it’s for our readers, come on let’s do it!

LM: Do What?

Mum: The blog… Do the interview!

LM: Oh… *giggles* I know now! My name is G and I am 10 years old!

Mum: *cough-cough, How old?

LM: Oh, Oh, I’m 11 actually I had a birthday on Saturday.

Mum: Sign you’re getting old.

LM: I’m just 11 years old, your very old…

Charming!

Mum: So you have something called Asperger’s syndrome can you tell us a little bit about it if you don’t mind?

LM: I can, Aspergers is a very, very clever thing, But I didn’t used to think this. Some geniuses have Aspergers.

Mum: What… Ginger’s?

LM: Nooooo Genius

A few months ago he would have taken that as me taking the “piss” out of his hair resulting in a meltdown. This time he laughed at my mistake alongside me 🙂

Mum: are you a genius?

LM: No! Well actually I’m a genius on buses and bus numbers I think!

We then get stuck into his favourite game for a further 10 minutes. I have to shout out random bus numbers and he states their destinations.

LM: Mum, I really Like the lady’s voice who announces your destination on the bus! Is she a computer?

Mum: Umm yes, I think so!

LM: Mum is she foreign?

Mum: What, why?

LM: I just need to know!

He continues mimicking her voice in a monotone type of way!

Redirection was needed, Buses could kill this interview!

Mum: What School do you go?

LM: xxxxx school for autism

Mum: Where did you go before?

LM: With my tutor!

He looks sad as he misses him dearly. The tutor taught him on a one to one basis at the library for 5hrs per day during the week as no school would take him (apart from his current one who the LEA first refused). He was with his tutor at least 6 months.

Mum: What school did you go to before that?

LM: A horrible one!!

LM: Why wasn’t I allowed to play or be with other children. The head told me I was rough and made me miss all trips at last-minute. He made me angry, he didn’t like me.

LM: Mum, I don’t understand why I was never allowed in classroom when I was good? Is it because I have Aspergers so I’m not the same?

Mum: No you’re not the same your better!

Slight smile…

LM: Mum tell the readers about the day he called us at home and wouldn’t let me on the coach!

I said two words and he cried… It still hurts, So we skip it.

Mum: What’s the best thing about your new school?

LM: Time!

Mum: Time… I don’t understand.

LM: You are not told you have 10 minutes or 20 minutes no one rushes you and makes you feel worried about doing work. That’s the best bit!

Mum: That’s good babe, anything else?

LM: The children some are like me. They don’t pretend to like me I think they do.

I’m rubbing a tear 🙂 a happy one of course.

Mum: Whats the best lesson?

LM: PHSE… No, no actually Social skills!

Mum: What’s that then?

LM: Faces and stuff…

Mum: Faces?

LM: Yes, faces and feelings and the way faces look!

Mum: Oh… I see.

LM: We can’t do science in special lab yet.

Mum: Maybe soon?

LM: Yes, maybe!

Mum: What are you good at?

LM: Maths… you know that mum because I’m better then you!

No, his not joking… He is!

Mum: What lesson are you not so good at?

LM: Handwriting, I don’t like it as it hurts my fingers.

Mum: What else don’t you like?

LM: A knife and fork scrapping on the plates like Alice does!

He pulls a funny face and wiggles

LM: It makes me fuzzy mum!

Mum: So, What do you really love like?

LM: Lots… I like buses best ever, then trains & tube and black taxies.

Mum: Anything else?

LM: The word international and music, I like Bruno Mars.

Then his gone…

Mum: “Where you going” I shout!

To which he replies…

“We are finished mum”

Charming, so, bloody charming indeed!

A little bit of inspiration

As I sit here happily, typing while listening to some Mary J. Blige, I think back to a time when things weren’t so pretty!

This time last year I saw myself battling and fighting for my sons rights. I was at the start of a discrimination claim against my Sons old mainstream primary school and was still, like thousands of others desperately trying to obtain a statement of special educational needs so my son would get the support needed in a school better suited to his complex needs. These two battles pushed me to the core, not only was I becoming stressed both physically and mentally, so was my son. I knew I couldn’t give up, not when my son was being treated like an outsider and even faced the prospect of permanent exclusion. He was never allowed on trips or was hidden away during inspections or when the parents of prospective pupils toured the school. He was highly misunderstood and it was slowly killing me! I was never quit prepared for what it would take to get myself through them hard and deliberating days. I had heard some talk about the battles fought to obtain these statements, get children into schools that catered to their needs, yet you never quite realise the true extent of what it takes out of you till your neck high in it! Honestly, I cannot begin to put this into words, those parents of children with SEN (special educational needs) will know what I mean when I say, “It could have quite possibly caused me to experience a full on mental break down! There were tears, shit… far to many tears, appointments, meetings, exclusions and phone calls, over and over again. Some days I was close so very, very close to giving up! Yes, I would often vacillate between giving up or pushing on! I remember all those voices, the ones that told me, “Don’t give up Claire, Its worth it in the end.” Yet it made no difference to me then! That light at the end of the tunnel was nowhere in sight.

It’s one year later and my children have just broken up from school! Unlike last year, I don’t dread the day my son returns, not now he will be returning to a better place. Yes, as many know already, Little man is in an Independent special school for children who have autism/aspergers as their primary need.

Little man spent so long isolated in mainstream, then home schooled before finally getting a great tutor. However he was still without a peer group! I really did think that it would take so much longer to settle in this new school than he actually has. He is already up one sub-level in his reading and earned himself a fantastic school report. His school have told me his a, “Great lad and a lovely boy!” For me this is amazing and almost brought me to tears. Silly… I think not! If you have ever watched your child’s education and self confidence fade away, then you will understand this feeling of joy I’m now feeling inside.

I know there are still hundreds of thousands of parents still fighting that same battle and by god do I empathise! The experience affected me in such a way that in November last year I started a voluntary role advising parents on their children’s educational rights and helping them through the tribunal process. I also started a Facebook page a few years back that now has over four thousand members, parents like me and young people on the spectrum comment daily about the lack of support received from the system. I hear our own story repeated over and over, so similar in so many ways it’s scary. I try and encourage them parents not to give up and remain strong for themselves and their child, yet I know that like me they must think, “It’s no use!” But those who have read my story over the past three years would have read some of my most testing moments, from pre diagnosis to full diagnosis, court cases brought against myself for non school attendance and the battle to bring Little mans discrimination at school to a final end. You will remember the posts that I wrote through tears at the inability to get my child what he needed,  “A Statement” and the tears I cried for once I had succeed it was hardly worth having. Then there’s the fight for an amended statement and a long search for a place in a special needs school. Gosh the sheer pain I felt discovering that every school the LEA approached just refused him, stating his needs could not be met, No one would give him a chance! The LEA would not agree to my parental choice of an independent special school, so… I fought and fought and with all my strength giving all I had, we made it… we finally made it here!

 Achievement slips and certificates replace the dreaded exclusion letters. Phone calls are made and emails are sent containing words of prise! Although his had some difficulty days, those around him understand why, they remain consistent,  they just get it! This was something I found difficult to vision a year ago. I never dreamed I would be displaying a picture of a smiling Little man at his new school, Yes that special school I fought for! I never imagined that I would proudly post a picture of all his rewards. This wasn’t because a lack of faith in my child, but a lack of faith in a system that had continually let us down.

I’m not stating we will never face a difficult moment again, and will always now remain overcautious. I’m sure we will have our ups and downs, but for once, for the first time in a long time, I feel we have achieved something amazing. My son is writing, literally putting pen to paper, something he had refused to do for a whole year! Things like these are the little things a parent of a child that has no difficulties could easily take for granted. For us these are reasons to celebrate.

Do you know how long it is since my son did a parenting and actually enjoyed it… To long! When he brought this painting home today I was incredible proud, so much so I could have burst.

I have a few reasons why I decided to bring you this post today. I of course had a desire as a mother to shout from the roof tops, “Check it out my sons star of the week at school” (the worlds of the proud mother). My second reason was to post in the hope that all my readers, the ones who are in that dark place I was in a year back, take some inspiration from it, they remember my story and think, “If she can do it, so can we!” and lastly because today is Special Saturday

I wish every single one of you the best of luck, stay strong, I’m always here to listen.

Related articles

• You: Special needs schools suffer £1m funding cut (guardian.co.uk)
• A Great Resource for Parents (theprospectschool.wordpress.com)
• Special Saturday! (sweetdeanie.com)

I’m no Vicky Pallord!

Warning post contains sarcasm!

I’m a mummy of three, who doesn’t currently engage in paid employment! My hobbies include sitting on my backside smoking an excessive amount of cheap brand cigarettes while indulging in the awesomeness of daytime television. (it’s my opinion that daytime telly is seriously under-rated in its entertainment value).

When my two older children are in school I generally let my eighteen month old run a muck, while I get my daily fix of Jeremy Kyle. As I trust you all, I will let you into a little secret of mine! “I sometimes keep the two older children home from school due to me failing to get my arse out of bed of a morning, that or I require them to babysit their little brother as to allow me some me time! Yes, this is mainly spent socialising and networking on Facebook.”

So, there you have it! I’m basically a total bum who has chosen to live this lavish lifestyle as opposed to getting a, what’s that word again? …Oh yes that’s it, ‘JOB’!!!!

Can you blame me? Given the toss-up between the two, that is…   A lazy day at home in the company of Jeremy Kyle, or… The long commute on an overly crowded train in a bid to get to work five mornings a week! Sorry… Jeremy wins hands down!

Yer right as if! Please tell me you do realise that the above is nothing other than an example of my twisted humour, a hard injection of sarcasm! Come on people seriously…  I’m no ‘VICKY POLLARD‘

It’s incredibly lamentable that a large proportion of people in today’s society, will all to often draw such conclusions of those above when it comes to unemployed mothers!

I guess it’s all to easy to assume that the mother on benefits who lives in a council house, doesn’t work because its easier this way. You only have to watch television to see some great examples of the stigma surrounding this type of mother! I’m not stating that I myself don’t laugh till my sides are sore when watching ‘Little Britain’ or ‘Balls of steel’ I’m just stating that it’s a shame that in the reality of things, people everywhere actually see us mum’s in this light!

Well, this may well be the case for some mothers, but it certainly isn’t the case for me! I imagine it isn’t for many others either!

So, do I want to work? In actual fact… I do!

I’m not only a full-time mother to three children (one on the autism spectrum), but I’m also a volunteer adviser and caseworker, supporting parents of children with autism and special educational needs through the process of the SEN tribunal in-order to get their child’s educational needs met. My duties include: Advising parents on their legal rights, helping them make an application to the tribunal, then basically guiding those that need it, through the different stages of the appeal from then on till the hearing. I can’t begin to explain how for me this is an incredibly rewarding position! Its one that doesn’t provide me with any financial gain, no form of income! That’s right! I do it because I’m passionate about helping these families overcome the battle of obtaining educational provision for their children! After all, It’s something we as a family have continually faced.

My little man was a very different child, a deeply unhappy one, up in till we removed him from mainstream in December. His currently in home tuition (supplied at the expense of the LEA), since January this year. He was continually excluded from his old school, I was called to collect him almost daily and towards the end he was taught in isolation. Lucky, Little man is set to start a trail placement at a fantastic independent autism specific school at the end of June. All goes well… The school will be named in part 4 of his statement!

So, here’s my point, I do have one I promise! I’m sure many parents of children on the spectrum will agree with me when I say, “Who would want to employ a mother or a father of an autistic child?” I’m being honest when I say, “I wouldn’t employ me!”

Constant calls from your child’s head-teacher requesting you collect your child immediately! They want you to come in just to have a word with them, or calm your child down during a meltdown! To work would be wholly unachievable! Lets state facts here guys, tell it like it is! What decent company with a boss who is well on the ball, would even consider employing a woman like me?

Come November 2011, this mum will be putting the long-term plan into action, the one that sees her go get the career she wants! Yes, this is the date I hope to start studying for my Psychology degree, “The one I couldn’t start this month as previously planed” (Not enough time, what with Jeremy Kyle and all). My study will thankful be done from home with the ‘Open University’ allowing me the flexibility to care for the children and carry on volunteering.

So, you see… I’m not no ‘Vicky Pallord’ (you couldn’t pay me to wear that shell suit)! More importantly I don’t do any of those terrible things, with the exception of them horrid cigarettes (Yes, bad habit I know!) I’m really just a mum trying to do right by her children! Even if that is under the roof of a council house!

The end of a chapter

We’ve come to the end of the chapter

I feel allevated, somewhat calm and strangely satisfied!

I feel we’ve been given the green light, and we can finally proceed with life.

Its all over and I couldn’t be anymore pleased that it’s finally come to an end!

Four days before the SENDIST hearing which was due to take place today, the settlement agreement went through.Yes, sometime during the beginning of this month I finally agreed to a settlement offered on behalf of Little man’s Governing body at his old mainstream primary school (the one I finally pulled him from during December 2010)

A formal apology signed by the head-teacher on behalf of the school and governing body addressed to myself and Little man. Within the letter is a list of incidents they particularly wished to apologise for. This included: being video interviewed on a school trip without parental consent, any distress caused to little man by way of isolation & exclusion, communication could have been better, more reasonable adjustments should have been made, visual timetable not always up to date.

There was a number more, but I think you get the point.

They agreed to training before July 2011 and to review there policies by the same date.

I requested that the letter be signed by the head-teacher, “what would a letter of apology mean to a child with aspergers (or any child for that matter), given by a person they do not even know (governing body)” This was agreed, to which I signed the agreement and withdrew my appeal for Disability Discrimination.

Of course this won’t be an end to little mans school battles, we have yet to face his transition back into a school enviroment (special school) from the one-to-one home tuition he is currently receiving at the library for a total of 5 hours a day, 25 hours per week. As stated in my post before last, Little man has stamped his feet and let it be known that “I’m never ever, ever, going back to school.”

The letter of apology doesn’t make all his fears disappear his still extermely affected by the treatment he incurred why at this school, the countless exclusions, the misunderstandings, not allowed on trips, refusal to allow his participation in school activities, the hurt, confusion and pain it caused.

However now he knows it wasn’t his ‘fault’ he wasn’t to blame (well, 99% of the time) You see there were of course times when he was a ‘typical’ 10 year old child, after all his no angel! It’s not like I would challenge every sanction they imposed (no matter what they may say)

I have watched him over these past few months slowly become less angry at the world and himself. He seems more excepting of the person he is! It’s not as if everything is suddenly perfect, of course not, we have some way to get there yet. There are days he sits and ponders on the things that happened, referring to himself as “not normal, different and misplaced,” other days his smiling huge happy smiles.
They are the days you cling to.

For me the letter means closure. The thankful end to a messy, tiring, soul destroying experience. His just 10 years old so undoubedly we have many more battles to come, I’m not walking around with my head in the clouds thinking, “from this day on, our life is all rosy”. We are still awaiting the final statement of special educational needs being issued from the LEA. The chances that my suggested amendents if any are copied into the statement is looking somewhat grim, and let’s face it, the chances that my preferred school will be named in part 4 is “atrociously” low with the prospect of me having to make an application for yet another appeal being practically set in stone! Some may call me a pessimist I prefer the term “realist”. Let’s face it parents who made us think this way?

Communicating, helping, sharing and just speaking to thousands of other parents and carers through this blog, my facebook page and the extending on/off line community only opens my eyes that bit wider, reminding me that I’m not the only one, little man’s not the only one! There is such an outstandingly huge number of us fighting the same daily stressful battles (normally education based) that technically we as parents, carers, children, human bloodly beings should not need to face.

I hope that Little man’s school did “really” learn something from little man and somewhere down the line, somehow, something good comes from this mess. I hope that if one day near or far, Little man’s school are expected to educate a child like him again, they do so with much care and support enabling that child to succeed in all areas possible. Most of all I hope that child is 100% happy with the person he is and is never made to feel he isn’t valued and worthy of respect, that his existence is worth nothing!

So now I turn over the page and start a new chapter.

With this new chapter I wonder what life will bring?

I’m no psychic, but you can bet your life on it, it won’t be dull! As much as I’d like it to be, we don’t do dull and ordinary in our house!

On top of the world

So this morning little man leaped from the comfort of his bed, washed without my pleas and got his clothes on super fast, “Ok most items were back to front or inside out” but when I told him so, there was no swearing or exaggerated body movements just a little boy who giggled and started over again. You see mornings like these have been far and few between… In actural fact they have been absent for some time. Yesterday morning little man was filled with excitement with a scoop of anxiety for he was about to embank on a journey, a new routine that no longer involved the mainstream primary school he had attended since he was five, the place he had grown to trust only to have it all fall apart and his spirit crushed. He had started to believe that he was so different from others that he would never be accepted. He started to state he wasn’t “normal” and created this image in his head of what he considered to be “normal” sadly in his eyes he didn’t fit into this image.

This hasn’t changed, I think it will take sometime before he excepts who he is (my fantastic little man) but on day two of his home tuition his already making progress. It’s very early days but I already see a child who wants to learn, a child who packs his school bag the night before and looks forward to the following days learning. So… Many parents take that for granted Not me and though I know this can change as quick as it started I hold onto these days with both hands and remind myself of them whenever things get bad.

Well, Friday was the day we first met his tutor (as not to disclose his indentity we will refer to the tutor as James)
We met at my home around 5pm. Little man sat looking at the tv he had refused to Switch off. He made little eye contact with James and instead of acting silly or rude like he often tends to when his anxious or just in a new situation, he was instead quite not saying much at all. We spoke for a while, discussed little mans needs and how mainstream school dealt with those needs. We talked about the effects isolation had on him and work we had been doing at home. I like to think of myself as a good judge of character… as I had a good feeling about James, I didn’t feel as if he was sat judging me or little man. James had already read the proposed statement (that is in need of amendments) and also read the appendices which included my ten pages of parental advice. He has experience of working with children on the autism spectrum and didn’t seem worried about teaching little man a job many would refer to as a “challenge” towards the end of the meeting James asked Little man if there was anything he would like to ask. Little man rolled his eyes and pulled his thinking face. Having thought for a few seconds replied, “fancy educating someone like me in a library!” He turned to me and said, “mother I will do my best to be quite” bless him… Though he was making a some what valid point as he is naturally a loud speaker, tending to shout as opposed to talk. Jame’s response was great… He made no big deal and said that all will be cool.

During the weekend little man seemed less anxious about Mondays leap back into education and getting him to sleep Sunday night wasn’t as hard as first expected. He had again been awake all Saturday night not sleeping till the early hours of Sunday morning… I didn’t let him sleep the whole of Sunday daytime and though it was hard work and resulted in a crying moaning monster throughout the day I managed to keep him awake. So after a few melatonin and a warm drink and bath, he slept on Sunday night (Ok it wasn’t till 1am and was my bed he slept in not his own… But this was good enough for me!)

It was pouring with rain on Monday morning, I mean pelting it down bucket loads, For this reason I changed the clothing I had already laid out for little man as I knew the jeans would get wet and rub on his skin causing a sensory related meltdown. I waved my daughter off at 8:30 am and set about the morning challenge one I hadn’t had to do for weeks (near on a month) waking little guy up for school. To my surprise little man rose to the challenge and with plenty of reassurance got ready for his big day. We got a lift with the promise of taking public transport the following day (which put a smile on his face) As I waved him off it felt totally strange… I was leaving my little man with a complete stranger, who I was trusting to take good care of my child, to have patience and understanding when it came to his “odd” or “challenging” ways… I felt that same sickening feeling in the pitt of my stomach on his first day of school I wanted to cry then and wanted to cry now.

Most of the day I was on edge… Everytime the phone rang I held my breath, “please don’t be James” I would think! But the call never came and to my relief on collection from the library little man was smiling. We took the train home and little man didn’t stop, “James showed me this, James told me that, James said this, James laughed at that” he was the happiest I’d seen him in ages. The only downside side to his day was the headache he had brought back home with him. He mentioned the lighting was some what strong and flickered at times. He also told me all the lights were different… Some brighter then others. With this and the fact he had engaged in work throughout the day his head was paying the price. However he still spoke about James all the way home and once back indoors… That was in till he sat on my bed only to fall fast asleep. This was at 4 pm and he wouldn’t even wake for dinner!

So yes the next day was just as postive if not better. His father took him on the train and I got a lay in:-) well that was in till a certain cheeky one year old woke me with a slap in the face!
His home book stated that the day was perfect with little man having had engaged in plenty of work. Once home he had continued in learning mode and was on the PC creating a presentation on bullying.

I really do hope that things continue to go as well. I am worried that little man will have problems reintergrating back into a school environment and the effects his mainstream school has had on his confidence and social skills… But for now I’m just going to enjoy seeing my little guy smile.

Positive Statements made by little man these past few days…

“I can’t wait till tomorrow”

“I think James likes me because his kind to me”

“Mum did you know James never shouts”

“James understands me”

“We went tescos together and we even got a trolly”

“He trust me and don’t mind being out in public with me” (effects of never going on school trips)

“His my friend and my teacher”

“I like being with James he treats me like a normal boy”
(breaks my heart knowing he often feels so different)

Positives I’ve noted in two short days…

Lots more smiles

Keen to learn

Less tears

Positive feed back in his home book… Day one stated how well they got along and little man even tried hard and completed some work. Day two even better… He engaged in all his work and was a joy to work with.

Comments like these were sure to make me cry. I couldn’t help it! I had waited for what felt like forever for some positive feed back on little man. I’m so proud of him and very thankful to his new friend james.

My little man is on top of the world and it’s been a long time coming!!

The Highs and Lows…… 2010 in a nutshell (Part2)

Hello everyone…. Happy New Year, Here’s hoping 2011 is the year for all of you (Myself and little man included)

As you can see… Me being me, this post is a little later than first intended! I really did mean for part 2 of my blog to be posted on New years eve so it would be my final post to the year. Well things didn’t go to plan and with a zillion other things to do, It just never happened…. Well as I’ve often been told… Better late then never. With that I will leave you with part two of the post, “The highs and lows… 2010 in a nutshell”

July….

July was a month made up of tears and meltdowns… It was a crazy one. Another multidisciplinary meeting was held at the school, I had finally received  the letter from the LEA refusing to carry out a Statutory Assessment of Little mans special educational needs… This meant I could finally prepare and lodge my appeal to the sen first tier tribunal. The overall outcome of the meeting was for the school to resubmit the Assess 1 (Which basically means… again requesting the LEA carry out a statutory assessment, only  this time the school will be do the requesting, rather than myself. Little man had now been observed in school by a number of outside agencies who were all in agreement that Little man could not cope in a mainstream school and would require a statement of Sen and a placement in a Specialist school. It was decided that when the school request the assessment they should also request that the LEA find Little man an emergency assessment place at a “special school” better suited to meet his needs. The meeting was a highly emotional one for me, I hate crying in public, but I spent most of that meeting in tears! What was read out by his 1-1 teaching assistant and his outreach worker was heartrending to have to listen to. There was one part that even stated…. “Other children are afraid of him! I really like his TA and know she was just stating her observations, but I felt like screaming “His just a little boy… Not a monster”

I tried to raise my concerns over trips but….. I was told that we could discuss this after the meeting! ” Why couldn’t we talk now?”…. This month it all got to much and I felt I had no choice but to lodge a discrimination claim with the tribunal. I did however offer plenty of opportunities for the school to simply apologise and change things so we can fix this sorry mess and concentrate on my Little mans floundering education and emotion well-being being. I heard nothing and instead felt ignored. I was angry that they felt such treatment can be justified… No matter if we win or lose the tribunal, I will be able to hold my head high knowing I did what I considered to be the right thing for myself and my child. It’s not about hate or bitterness…. It’s about a ten-year old that now has no school placement and has been placed in this worrying position because the early interventions, we so badly needed… Were never there! Who listened when I expressed my concerns four years back? Not one off them… Now we are here and my son is a ticking time bomb:( I would do anything to help others avoid such a stressful situation…. No child should be in this position, nor should their parent(s)

The Relationship between myself and the school has become incredible strained… I hate it… Every time you take your child to school you feel that awkwardness floating in the air…. Horrid, horrid situation to find yourself in! It’s just not productive at all!

One a higher note I was contacted by the TSS (tribunal support service) Where I was offered an interview for the training programme that would enable me to become a TSS adviser. First I would need to pass the interview followed by the first module…. If I passed I would then have to pass the following nine for an invite to the two training weekends …  This was fantastic news, and was made even better when I  passed the interview… Yay!

August…

August I’m jumping for joy… Literally jumping up and down like a crazy woman! My reason…. School summer holidays of course. Yes Little man is hard work but then again his sister has a cheeky side too. I would take anything god threw at me right now as long as it isn’t school related! I really don’t think I can contend with one more day of it!

We went on plenty of day trips… Some of these trips little man coped with brilliantly, others were not so good. Of course we indulged his special interest and went bus riding a number of times, But we also embanked on a number of other fun trips. One was to Southend On Sea with my mother and younger sister It was fantastic…. All three of my children loved and the stinky Southend sea air must have got my little man in a pretty good mood as he was happy chap throughout the day. This was also the month that we went to Chessington World Of Adventures, courtesy of Merlins magic wand…. Who we are most grateful to for making our day so brilliant. We were not made to queue for rides and was shown on each one using the rides exit entrance. This was great as it was two hourly waits on most rides and can you imagine that! Little man would be abusing the whole theme park within ten minutes and that’s being generous. Despite this Little man had two mini meltdowns…. One on the train & one on the way there, and the last while in the park. But on the whole a great day was had by all.

August was the month the LEA sen team wanted to play silly buggers. First the tribunal refused our appeal in relation to the LEAs refusal to assess… As we just missed the deadline… But thankfully five days after this, the decision was revoked and overturned. With this the LEA suddenly wanting a mediation meeting…. “Funny how they ignored my calls when I was requesting mediation… Just goes to show, how they operate…. So carless and thoughtless… It all boils down to money.

I also made my discrimination claim on this same month.

Oh… I passed the Module, so on the training programme now. nine more to go and pass.

 

September….

So the day I had dreaded arrived… The children’s first day back at school was here! I felt apprehensive about what lay in store for little man. Anyone would think given the children had been off school for a long six weeks and little man seemed to be at home more than school in general… I would be pushing them out the door, with an over enthusiastic wave & a smile! That so wasn’t the case. Little man wasn’t sleeping till the crazy hours and I knew he was worried about his return to school. I also knew that given the fact he had made one or two friends with his peers, he was also quite eager to attend. I held onto the comfort that he still remained with the same teacher whom he had the year previous, “At least that was one change he wouldn’t have to contend with” I was hopeful that the school had changed their ways…. As since we spoke about my unhappiness… The exclusions had faded, fewer calls were made. Things seemed to have calmed to some degree. Little man worried himself sick about other changes that were to take place. Some being…. New Class room, his workstation being moved, and the biggest…. The introduction of school uniform!

First day back his visual schedule was not in place causing huge meltdowns at home and school refusal on just day 2 of the new school year. If this wasn’t bad enough, Sensory overload was now an issue… The school shirts were driving him potty, yet it kept being insisted that he tucked it into his trousers… To which he would bluntly refuse. This situation became tensed and once more he had to be kept at home. Then all of a sudden the phone calls started once more and sadly so did the exclusions. Again these coincided with trips and activities…. YES ON ALL THREE EXCLUSION! Another chain of three just like those in March! However these were much closer together…. 17th, 22nd, 28th…

October….

The last exclusion of September was for a period of five days but they had no intentions in having him return, what with no reintegration meeting booked but instead a meeting at the local pupil referral unit with its 50 foot high prison style fences and what could only be described as security guards that walked up and down with keys hanging from their belts like prison guards. I went with my mother, they visited us at home, then lastly I took Little man. Lets just say…. “He didn’t wanna go!” and that was good enough for me.

Little man also celebrated his Birthday on the 1st- October while on exclusion. His father took him out for the day doing his two favorite things! “Bus riding and shopping” the latter only counts if it’s shopping for himself!! Later that evening we had a few people round one being a boy from his class, who stayed for tea and Birthday cake.

As we had no date for Little mans return to school… And the fact he was now on day 7 of his five-day exclusion I decided enough was enough and took him back. The LEA had decided to carry out the Statutory assessment of little man special educational needs! “*Fan-bloody-tasic* at long last some excellent news” This also meant we were done to one tribunal date as opposed to the two. The Educational Psychologist came in to observe Little man in his class the day he return following a conversation I had on the phone with her the night before. However the school wouldn’t allow her to observe him in his classroom alongside his peers so this was carried out in the school library with myself present. He was like a caged animal being hidden from the world. After the assessment from the Psychologist I spoke to the Head teacher who suggested that it would be better to take little man home for the remainder of that day, and to bring him back the following one. It was also suggested that he should be isolated all day (work alone with a TA in the den) this had been agreed for the mornings  as to allow him time to reintegrate back into class, however the whole day was out of the question, and with that I started flexi schooling (homeschooling from midday)

Over the month things began to worry me! Certain little things Little man said, his sudden outburst of anger, but most of all that look on his face every time I had to break his heart and tell him “No you wont be attending this trip or that activity… I’m sorry” The worse was the trip he was made to miss at the end of September (He was only excited as it involved traveling on a coach) Little man spent the week policing children as an attempt to make sure the trip would not be removed from his grip! Only to end up the only child not going!

After this emotionally tiring month it got that bit more depressing when….. A large section of our ceiling came crashing to the floor just as it did less than one year before. The ceiling and walls had only been fully repaired a few short months ago. Turns out the plasterers had gone through not one but two water pipes that connected to the radiators in the above bedrooms, when he had attached the new plaster-board. This resulted in the pipes slowly leaking for a year…. “And boy did I know it!”

regardless of these horrors above…. Some good finally came… I PASSED ALL MY MODULES! I had struggled to get them done what with my crazy home life and often did them throughout the night. I never expected to do as well as I did.

I will now attend the training weekends on the first weekend of November and the end of November.

Here’s my good news email…

… Hi Claire,

Hope you are well!

Just a quick e-mail to let you know your module results which were as follows

mod 1- 99%
mod 2-98%
mod 3-98%

mod 4-97%
mod 5-98%

mod 6-100%
mod 7-98%
mod 8-100%
mod-10- 98%
mod 9- to follow as not yet marked

Extremely high marks across all modules, well done!-just one or two marks knocked off for lack of details on a couple of q’s and Re-module 10, question 6- It actually does matter who makes the request for statutory assessment, it is only if it is the parents or the school  make the request that they have a right to appeal the decision-if it is a social services or request from a medical professional they don’t ( although to be fair it is nearly always the parents/school who make the request) section 329 and 329A of the 1996 Education Act.

Sorry all… *giggle* you must think I’m a girl with a bit of a large head! I really don’t mean to be… It just couldn’t have come at a better time! It picked me up and made me feel that at least all that hard work and long nights were not for nothing.

November…

What with the LEA deciding to carry out a statutory assessment, you would think things were looking brighter! The “Special school” we wanted Little man to attend on an emergency assessment basis, stated they could not meet his needs nor had space to do so. I had viewed the school and all I had been told was there wasn’t space! Well as some may already know…. If a school refuse on the grounds that they do not have a place to offer due to space the LEA can override this as it is said that no school is actually full. So I guess the logically way out is to claim “We can’t meet his needs”  The school refused to take him three times before the LEA gave up! Every other school that was approached some, even those that were so far out the area stated they did not have the space or cannot meet his level of need. It’s the school situation that is fueling his fire and I feel like I’m powerless to control this.

What with Little man being flexi schooled, and given how much his missed out on… Mum turned teacher (over night) decides to take her little man on my vision of a school trip! That’s right… I need to do something to bring him up as his self-esteem was so low and he was stating, “It would be better if I wasn’t born” Desperate to turn things around we embanked on our very own special school trip to the transport museum. He was in bus heaven! Remembering my own school trip days… I used the trip as a way to engage him the following day. He actually created a huge project with pictures, cuttings, bus tickets, pictures and drawings…. He even filled the sheet with interesting London Transport facts. extremely pleased was mum:)

It was in the first or second week of November that little man started going to school fall time for three out the five days. The next step was the whole five days. He was still in the den (nice world for isolation) in the mornings but afternoons he would be in class. We got to the middle of the week (Just three days in) When I got the dreaded call that I knew was going to be made that very day. It was the call to inform me little man was to return to isolation all day or if I didn’t want that, then the return to flexi schooling. How did I know this was coming? Because the following day Ofsted were visiting…. That’s how I knew! We reluctantly had to flexi school once more.

This was such a mess, and wasn’t of benefit to anyone but school.

MY high in November was attending the two training weekends… Not only did I have a bit of selfish “Claire” time but i felt like I was doing something to help those families that are experiencing what I have. “Support is like a rare gem… Once you get your hands on it you hold on as if your life depends on it”

I made new friends, and learnt a great deal. Best of all I passed the entire programme, so could now spread some love by doing my thing:)

December…

December is meant to be a month full of Joy & Christmas spirit. I wasn’t seeing much spirit being thrown in Little mans direction. Not when his being isolated from Christmas! This for Little man, For me, and for the family as a whole… Was the last kick in the teeth. We were not prepared to take this any more! This nightmare was being brought to an end. School placement or no school placement, we couldn’t afford to stick at it another minute! We were well and truly beaten down, then trod on! They had allowed for Little man to attend the after school Christmas party… However the few friends he had were ban from attending. I was told he was well-behaved during the disco, he had just walked around the dance floor 😦 So please explain your reasons for not allowing him back in the classroom for his class Christmas Party… For just one afternoon…. AFTER ALL IT’S CHRISTMAS! The best he was offered was a visit from a few of his class peers… By this I mean they come and observe him in his “caged environment” I have a lot of respect for his Teaching assistant as she understands him so much more than the others and if it wasn’t her in the Den with him them mornings…. Fear would have over taken over me. All though he likes this TA he had still become very low due to never being able to join his class. We got told at the meeting we attend this month that there was no intention of him EVER returning to that classroom… I could keep him in the afternoons if I still desired. It wasn’t in his best interest to go into the classroom and “enjoy” himself… Of course it wasn’t said in these words… but I don’t have ASD and can read body language a treat! They were clinging to the hope he is offered a placement in January, but if not he will have a new TA and remain isolated… “FUCK THIS!” (Pardon me) These people really don’t have his best interest at heart, Is it easy to sleep at night knowing that Little man is stressed like no ten-year old should ever need to be.

So we left and that was that!

We were told the purposed statement was being drafted and would be with us sometime the following week. Well that was the beginning of December and it’s not yet her today on the 5th January 2011. I’ve spoken to the Sen caseworker who has informed me It was posted today.

Tribunal is set for January for this reason I had to submit the evidence on the 6th December the day my sister was attacked. This resulted in some mad rush and high blood pressure… I scanned, emailed, and faxed at once…. It was pure craziness.

The end is a whole lot happier…. Aww… Christmas was beautiful…. A tad stressful but like dealing with a pussy cat compared the school or a meltdown Little man style.

So there it is… In black and white (With a touch of pink and grey) Our year in a post…. A nutshell was somewhat of an understatement I think!

“Hidden”

A few weeks back I came across an article in the Guardian… Unruly pupils ‘hidden’ from Ofsted inspectors!

Was I surprised? This isn’t news! Well at least not to those parent’s of the “unruly child”

Headteachers are employing an arsenal of tricks to keep naughty pupils hidden from inspectors, MPs were told today.

Unruly children may be temporarily suspended before Ofsted teams arrive, or supply teachers brought in to cover “terrible” classes of disruptive pupils because inspectors are known to be unlikely to observe those lessons, the education select committee heard. As a result, witnesses claimed, inspectors underestimate the extent of bad behaviour. The Guardian 18,11,2010

I should count myself lucky as my son wasn’t part of the statistic… despite his constant exclusions and isolation! There was one occasion I thought little man had been excluded for the benefit of gaining that oh so great report! However it turned out to be normal everyday inspectors… Well that makes it Ok then!

Well this hit the headlines on the 18th November 2010, and at that time as mentioned above Little man had not yet been “hidden” But how things were about to change! On the 23rd November, just a few days after commenting on the article I received a letter…. Ofsted were coming to the little dudes school on the 26th and 27th of November.

I just knew, from the moment I saw that letter that my son would have yet another crawl exclusion or sprint in isolation.. Like some kind of caged animal. Little man had only just returned to the classroom in the afternoons and back into school on a full-time basis while awaiting the decision on a statement of Sen and a placement in an “autism specific school”

Monday when I had collected him from school he wasn’t waiting in the office as I was told he would be. Instead he was in the hall hiding under PE equipment. He had hidden there purely because he wished to finish school at the same time as his peers. Not aware of the time due to him leaving his watch indoors, he had got in his hiding place far to early, meaning he was sat down there for sometime all in an attempt to stay with his class that extra ten minutes.

Tuesday we visited Camhs. It was near on impossible to have a conversation with the Dr, Little mans anxiety levels were scoring and it was heart breaking to see him so distressed. However he went to school that afternoon and joined his all time favourite lesson… French! He seems to have a bit of a thing for the French teacher bless him. That afternoon he didn’t need to hide. He stayed till the end and left the classroom side by side with his peers. Little man had a smile so big it lit his face and in his hand he held a plastic trophy and a small packet of sweets, prizes he had won from the teacher.

Wednesday again little man wasn’t in the office but in his classroom. The bell had not yet gone so I walked down to his classroom and waited outside alongside the other parents. Did they even know who I was? It had felt like forever since I stood amongst them all. Lucky for me I knew one or two so chatted in till the bell went. I noticed that the teacher wasn’t somebody I had met before, but a supply teacher. I worried that maybe things hadn’t gone well, so went in for the kill and asked her outright. I was told that all though she had not been in the class the whole afternoon, he was Ok… Just a little swearing. While speaking to his friends (Partner in crime) father, his class teacher appeared. After telling little man that he was still recording his behaviour (little man was becoming impatient with waiting and was banging the back of his foot against the wall) I asked about his behaviour and was told that it was not perfect… However most of the afternoon that he was there it wasn’t to bad and he had even produced four pages of work. I’ve been told he isn’t on the gold card system anymore yet the teacher pointed out that little man had turned his card but not to red 🙂

When leaving the school with little man’s partner in crime and his father, before waving good-bye I said to his father that I could see one-off our boys, or even both of them being pulled from the class tomorrow.

With that I went home and emailed a few people stating my concerns about the Ofsted visit and how my gut was telling me little man was going to suffer.

6.45 pm having just finished a meal over at my mothers came the call I dreaded but whole heartedly expected. I was told that little man being in his class with his peers in the afternoons wasn’t working….. I was then told that the plan was to isolate him for the whole school day! Of course I wasn’t shocked but to say it was to do with the behaviour he was demonstrating in class was a joke!

The anger and sadness I felt was so intense! For once why couldn’t they have proven me wrong? Done the right thing by the child. The constant exclusions from school and trips/activities, the days spent isolated were too much. His transfer to a school that understands him and includes him could not come soon enough. Yes I will admit at that moment in time I hated the person on the other end of the phone. Yet hate is a strong word, looking at my child it was the right word…. I hated them so much for proving me right, for letting little man down as always and yes I still hate them now.

I wont go into details about what was and wasn’t said during that phone call. But what I will say is that in a roundabout way it was confirmed to me that my child’s presence in that class room would have an undesired effect on any inspection reports.

I’m not blasting the over all performance of the school, In my opinion there are a handful of teachers who are pleasant and teach to a high standard. Others simply don’t make the cut because when it comes to the educational and mental well-being of children such as little man, the ones who are seen as “different” from the children without Sen or a disability they just don’t care! Then their are the ones merely doing as they are instructed to by those above them.

Since this day my son has been staying at home or going into school half day (Just how they like it) His routine! What routine?

It’s the Christmas period and I have already mentioned in a recent phone call, if Little man is removed from Christmas activities then his staying at home. Im awaiting an appointment with the GP because when your child turns around and says, “Mum, it would have been better if I was never born” it’s clear that the school are having a huge impact on his self-esteem and chipping, flaking confidence.

Looking at little mans educational reports, it’s clear to see his school are more interested in the contents of this blog! If that is the case then how cold one must be to carry on this treatment towards my child. I will not stop writing this blog as it’s my escape and though his school have referred to it as some kind of “hate campaign” against them! It is not! Given little man received the treatment that every child deserves then they would read words of prise and gratitude. If this blog was about my daughter… A Girl Without Aspergers! It would be just that! Sadly it is not!