MUM I’M PROUD OF YOU #Madblogawards

It was a cold rainy day, sat in the nail shop I asked myself “Do I feel up to this?” I wasn’t referring to my nails but what lay ahead after that! I needed to rush back home, shower, do hair and makeup before finally squeezing myself into my magic underwear and somehow wiggling my legs into my tights without laddering them with what was soon to be my new nails! Then there was the dress, the one I’d only just brought following a disaster with the last (disaster being the sudden realisation that it made me look like a beach whale). This one was short, I hadn’t done short in I don’t know how long! Even with tights I was already feeling a tad self-conscious and I didn’t even have the thing on yet.

I needed to get my party head on and fast. Don’t get me wrong its not that I wasn’t looking forward to the Mad Blog Awards, I really was! I was just a little drained and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself.

Nails done I’m now stood at the bus stop. Time is ticking by and I seriously need to get my butt in gear! Having waited 15 minutes for my bus to come along, it stops, the driver looks at me but doesn’t open the doors… He then proceeds to just drive off like I’m not even stood there in the rain like a prat. Two seconds later what happens, yeah along comes a double-decker bus. Not my double-decker ‘I’m waiting on one of those single decker buses that drive all round the houses making what should be a five minute Journey a 30 minute one instead! This double-decker is racing up the road, his in a rush like me, I could do with this guy driving my bus. Then something crap happened… Splash… FFS, I know resembled a drowned rat! As I stand like a wet lemon, I hear the giggles of the over excitable teens stood behind me. I tell myself he didn’t do it on purpose… But really deep down I knew he did! Could things really get any worse?

Once home and finally done up like a girl with a place to be, I receive a phone call just as I’m about to leave through the front door. As I’m stood explaining my rubbish day to my friend who’s called to wish me luck for the awards, I suddenly realise I’ve missed my train. “It’s a sign, I’m not meant to go” I moan. But being reminded things could only get better I loaded my 5 inch shoes in my bag at speed then slipped on my comfortable flats. I then ran for it, over the road, through the park to the station while continuously yanking down my dress in a desperate bid not to flash my magic granny knickers in the process.

Thankfully I didn’t get lost and as I stopped on the street corner to slip on my heels It suddenly hit me that by doing what I was doing where I was doing it, dressed as I was, one may mistake me as a lady of the night. Walking at speed (and not very well may I add) I escaped into the comfort of the Rassiden Edwardian Hotel the venue of this years Mad Blog Awards.

Hot, messy and out of breath I arrived just in time. My fellow finalist were just about to take there places at the table. Having quickly adjusted the magic knickers, reapplied the lippy and made myself that bit more presentable in the toilets, I then took my place at table number 2 which was filled with some very talented ladies with a great view of the stage.

Was I nervous? No, not up in till now I wasn’t! I really hadn’t the time to be! I just remember feeling relieved to have finally made it. I felt as if My mood was instantly lifted by the wonderful company I had around me. I was sat next to the lovely and talented Luschka (Diary of a first child) as well as the lovely Jen from Mum in the mad in the madhouse , Mika from All baby advice, Kate (WitWitWoo) and a few others (all equally as lovely). The atmosphere was wonderful and all finalist were in high spirits.

The room looked amazing and it was obvious how much hard work the lovely Sally Whittle, Jen Walshaw and others from the mads had put into making this an event to remember. Everything had been perfectly personalised around each and every blogger in the room. Two large LCDs showed pictures of us bloggers and our families. In between each slide, live tweets were shown (and as the wine flowed the spelling mistakes grew). Even the tables were decorated with confetti made from tiny snippets of our blog headers.

Despite each category having its own sponsor we wasn’t bombarded with advertisements! The awards were very much a social event that did an amazing job to celebrate the brilliance that are parent bloggers. How awesome is that!

The 3 course meal was of course Devine… The dessert however was in a league of it own…. Amazing. The wine was flowing around the table and for a woman who drinks little (maybe the odd glass of white every now and then) I did really managed to put some away. I was feeling a little giggly and I did almost use the men’s toilets by mistake (the greeting of a man leaving the cubical was a good indication that I was in the wrong place). But luckily I wasn’t to merry as I was about to receive a little shock when my name was called out and I was announced as the winning blogger of the mads most inspiring blogger for 2012.

A Meal fit for a finalist and I cleaned the plates

What I’m about to say may make you roll your eyes while muttering the words, “they all say that” but honestly, it was a shock! I really didn’t think I’d win. I was up against some of the best blogs in the blogosphere and the fact I’m subscribed to a few of these blogs meaning every new post they publish gets ping to my inbox just made me doubt myself even more so. Honestly who wants to be up against the much loved mammywoo or the very talented but equally as lovely Wendy from Savette Gazette? Yep …. I rest my case.

Yay the award

You may roll your eyes once more when I tell you I wasn’t pimping my blog 24/7! I made a video that I attached to a blog post. This didn’t have an excessive amount of hits! I also sent out some tweets… I honestly only sent a small amount this year. Of course I sent out a few shouts on my Facebook page, but again this was just a few. What made me laugh this year was how members of the page had replied to say they had already voted for me. Knowing you have such a supportive readership is heartwarming. I guess the only other thing I did was appear in the local paper, just as I had the previous year. I didn’t want to become a spammer, end up driving my readers and followers nuts. My point is that winning without super pimping is possible and this left me feeling proud of myself, shocked but very proud.

As I stood up to collect my award I suddenly thought “Shit… What am I going to say?” I can speak to whole rooms of people in an advocate, teacher-like fashion. When it comes to advising you on education law or the latest autism campaigns its programmed into me… It’s what I do! But accepting an award is different and just like last year I felt a bit of a tit with nothing to say. With white wine in the blood stream giving me a needed kick up the backside I thanked everybody and stated that if it wasn’t for my readers I wouldn’t be able to raise such awareness for autism! With that I did a runner with my award and a lovely bottle of bubbles presented to me by the lovely sponsor for crazy soap.

Back at my table, sat back down I watched some more fabulous bloggers go up and collect their awards I felt so honoured to be part of it all.

My 2012 Mads highlights: speaking to my little man on the phone…

LM: “Mum I saw it on twitter, you won”
Me: “I know, great isn’t it”
LM: “I’m proud of you mum”
Me “You are?”
LM “You inspire people mum, you inspire me”
Me: “That’s a really lovely thing to say, thank you!”
LM “I have water in my eyes as I’m happy you won”
Me: “I have water in my eyes too, because you do”

When we have this type of conversation it’s magical, rare but magical. He really was happy I’d won! He took the award and polished it and put it next to last years on my dresser. He is now blogging himself… Maybe he will one day collect his very own award to add to the collection.

Other highlights:

Kerry Aka Multiple Mummy getting the recognition she deserves for her amazing blogs. And the emotional speech from Emma and multiple dad when collecting her awards. And as Emma states… One is actually half hers 🙂 Emma and Kerry both write Science sparks.

Messaging my dad to tell him Myleene Klass was at the awards… Evil laugh (he kinda fancies the arse off her)!

Thank you to Sally… Your an amazing woman. Not forgetting the lovely Jen and others who helped make the awards really enjoyable for all.

My lovely readers, all those who nominated and voted for me… I could t do what I do without you all.

The lovely Crazy Soap for being a lovely sponsor from start to finish. I’m sure my fellow inspiring finalist would agree.

Littlewoods, I may not have wore the dress you sent but you sent it so quickly and even offered to send me another on the actual day of the awards. If I hadn’t found something in time it’s quite likely that you would have saved the day.

My family and friends for supporting me.

And most importantly, my three beautiful children both with and without Aspergers… You all inspire me to write and do what I do. So, mummy sends you a million hugs and kisses from the blog…. I love you.

Silent Sunday

Would You Give Him A Chance?

Firstly, thank you to all my lovely readers, twitter followers and Facebook friends, who took the time to read my Little mans inspiring post that he has published over on his very own blog.

The re-tweets on twitter, shares on Facebook, 100 + page views and that of a comment left on his post has put a huge smile on his face and a spring in his step. My Little man is now beaming with confidence.

It’s a big thing getting your voice heard, especially for my son who has real difficulties when it comes to expressing himself. Having seen his finished post, I think that writing may just be the answer for him.

Those who read the post have sent me some lovely tweets and messages, all congratulating me for raising such a well focused and inspiring child. Thank you to you all, I am extremely proud!

When Little man had finished writing his post, he asked for my opinions before sharing it with the world. He told me in no uncertain terms, that he didn’t wish to receive any feedback from myself as his mother but from that of a blogger (smarty pants). I really don’t know what it was I expected to read, maybe something about his special interests, WWE and transport (maybe a little Lego thrown in for good measure). But what I did read was actually something very different! I sat trying to hide my tears, one’s built upon happiness (little man doesn’t get the whole “I’m crying because I’m happy scenario”). Reading his thoughts, that of his emotions was insightful. It demonstrated the progress his made both mentally and emotionally! I felt immensely proud and as he hit the publish button my stomach did summersaults with excitement.

Now, as great as the content was, it did raise a number of questions within my own mind! The first being “Will my sons determination to succeed be enough to actually make it happen?” Now, please don’t get me wrong, I believe in my child, I believe that Aspergers Syndrome will not make him any less able to achieve his dreams, at 11-years-old he has already made it very clear that he wants to be the next Richard Branson, owning a string of businesses. Honestly, I don’t doubt his ability to make this more than just a dream. What I do doubt is that of our society and it’s ability to overcome the ignorance of today!

No, he doesn’t want to become an employee for an employer, he wants an investor to hear his ideas and label them as a good investment. Only, looking at today’s statistics even when it comes to basic employment, the odds are highly stacked against those on the Autism Spectrum in the same way they are stacked against those who experience mental health problems. Yes, Little man is quite clearly intelligent, but intelligence isn’t always the key needed to open every new door.

I’m not being negative, I believe my son has the capability to achieve anything he puts his hand to. However, as a parent I need to be realistic, exploring every possible hurdle that might come our way. You see, it’s not like we’re not used to a fight, we’ve fought our fair share of battles and come out on top . Preparation is the key to to enabling change for all!

So, let’s just look at the statistics here.

Only 15% of adults on the autism spectrum (ASD) in the UK are in full-time paid employment.

51% of adults with ASD in the UK have spent time with neither a job, nor access to benefits, 10% of those having been in this position for a decade or more.

61% of those out of work say they want to work.

79% of those on Incapacity Benefit say they want to work.
full statistical report concentrating on issues of education, employment and autism can be found by Clicking Here

This doesn’t look good does it?

Last year I wrote about a first meeting I had with a friend of mine. This friend was someone I met through Facebook, an adult diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. At that current time he was unemployed due to no fault of his own. We are not talking someone just out the gates of secondary school but a full grown man with an impressive background in education. His interest in working with computers is a real passion of his, that when combined with his IT degree, makes him highly employable. Nonetheless, this friend of mine has actually worked before and done so on more than a few occasions. Sadly he always finds himself jobless again.The fact he isn’t great in social situations doesn’t help and he is normally dismissed for something beyond his control, like the time his employer failed to give him direct instructions meaning that he was left looking like he was failing to produce enough work. He won’t ask for directions, he doesn’t feel that he can approach and ask, it’s not in his nature and the employer knew this! While in this particular position, he was sat at a desk in a corner, a corner that was a good distance from his colleagues! He was not encouraged to interact so he kept himself to himself till home time when he would then unload all the days stress that he had kept suppressed throughout the working day.The Treatment was clearly that of discrimination in the workplace.

My friends most recent position was not given on a permeant basis, though it was made clear from the offset that such positions would become available once the term of “employees contract” had ended. There was at least 10 others taking the same position meaning all contracts would come to an end together at the same time. However, when this did happened, no one mentioned to my friend the prospect of maybe continuing on the job in a more permanent fashion. My friend asked and was told that he was not needed. It turns out that the other nine or so employees who started work for the company at the same time on the same day with the exact same contract, all ended up being offered full-time placements. What had my friend done wrong? He did nothing wrong! He had just been open and honest with his former employee when he told them he had a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome.

The treatment above, isn’t something unusual and unheard-of! It’s something that many experience and do so on a daily basis… Yes, as if things were not hard enough during them school years!

My sons idea to make his own business is quite honestly one of brilliance! It removes the employer completely from the equation therefore allowing Little man to be himself without fear of judgement. However, to do this he needs someone to invest in his proposal (the one his had since age 9)! Now I ask you high flying business men & women out there… Regardless of how sensational my sons proposal may or may not be, if he then told you he had Aspergers Syndrome would you continue to take him seriously?

A recent documentary that I’m guessing many of you saw or at least heard about, documented how discriminating employers can be when they see an applicant has stated within their application form, that they have a diagnosis of a neurological condition such as Aspergers or that of a condition that falls under the mental health umbrella. Undercover reporters captured the shocking footage that clearly showed how discriminating such employers really are. The shocking truth revealed that actually society haven’t actually moved on as much as some first thought they had!

We need less prejudice and more faith in a persons ability regardless of any attached labels. The results would be a decrease in the unemployment rate and more efficient services provided to society by those joining the workplace! There would also be a noticeable decrease in the number of people diagnosed and treated with depression as well as a reduction in the number of services and benefits affected by government cuts.

It’s a big ask… The removal of societies ignorance! Realism takes hold off me and with it, I prepare for the future and whatever it may bring.

What I do know for sure is… Little man will make it, because his a fighter and I’ll be there supporting him all the way!

I wonder how many people who have declared a diagnosis of ASD or mental health problems, actually have a job here?

#Mad blog awards 2012 finalist plea

So, there are just 5 days left till the voting closes for the Mad blog awards. I’m chuffed to have made it to the finals of the Mads 2012 (most inspiring category). This year there’s some fantastic blogs amongst the finalists and it’s worth just popping over to discover some fabulous new reading material.

However if you do love what I do then please vote A boy with Aspergers for most inspiring 2012. Voting closes on the 6th June 2012 at 5pm. Just click the button above.

Here’s a video that myself and the little man created to drum up some support and thank those who have supported us so far

Huge thank you to all our readers and supporters and to that of Sally for making the Mad blog awards what it is today…something I’m dead proud to be involved in!

7×7 My Favourite blog post’s

I was recently tagged by the lovely Jennifer, an awesome talented blogger, who blogs over at Jbmumofone to give you my 7×7 low down.

First I must share the seven top blog posts, I’ve read over the last week (please bear in mind this has sat unpublished a good week, due to careers brain)!

Next, I’m to share 7 things about me that you don’t know already (if that’s actually possible)!

Lastly, I’m to share the meme love and tag another blogger, who hopefully isn’t already tagged (if I’m lucky)!

Ok… here it goes… the seven blog post I’ve enjoyed this week!

1) Kate Vyktorian wrote about her amazing experience as an attendee at the Elle Style Awards 2012, over on her blog Snugglebubbly. Yes, this jammy blogger bagged herself a ticket to this celeb fest as a result of her recreation of a red carpet look, with the use of items from the Next directory… Lucky girl!

2) Lexy from Mammywoo in her emotional, yet inspiring post, ‘Forgiveness with extra cheese’

3) Angela, a talented new mummy blogger wrote a beautiful post of love, dedicated to her 9-year-old son, in the post, ‘A letter to my loved one’s – Part one”

4) Autism Mums & Dads is a brand new blog displaying some talented, inspiring words. I read the post, “Everything but the kitchen sink” and had to share!

5) From Fun to Mum, the funniest post I’ve read all yet, let alone week. If you haven’t read, “The Day That Shit Happened” I’d run off and read it now!

6) Bluecrisps, a fellow parent to a child with autism wrote the post, “Does this buggy cause offence” when speaking how our societies ignorance get going when she takes here daughter out and about in her special needs buggy. It’s a strong message from an empowering parent of a child with a hidden disability.

and finally…

7) “Missing my Grandad” a beautiful post written by “a mummy too” as her weekly gallery post. Filled with emotion and love, it’s a really lovely piece.

Next: Seven things you may not already know about me!

1. I hate eggs, any type but the chocolate type
2. As well as my love for writing, I spend time drawing and painting too.
3. I own so many shoes, that they need their own wardrobe
4. I did plastering and brick-laying at college and passed my first and only exams on the two subjects (no bloke tells me it’s a man’s job)!
5. I laugh when Nervous
6. I’m rubbish at icing fairy cakes
7. I’ve been in a relationship for 15 years and I’m only 29 years old… Goodness me!
8. Lastly, I tag

The lovely Kylie Hodges over at “Not even a bag of sugar” to list her 7×7

The day my boy got his smile back.

I sat in the school hall watching the school nativity all the children in each year combine to create one marvellous Christmas spectacle! So, why was I sat with a tear in my eye? My daughter looked so beautiful up there, and god I was proud, off course I was! Though this wasn’t a tear of joy, something was still missing and that something was my son! As I watched his sister and the rest of the schools over excited children take part in a glowing performance,my eldest child, ‘Little man’ was sat at home, restricted from all participation! Why? Well, he hadn’t injured himself, he wasn’t hit by a sudden dose of stage fright, he was told No! Why? Because his school thought of him as a liability not a child, not a child with feelings, not a child at all!

There were lots of why’s! Some coming from myself directed at a head teacher and a SENCO who quite honestly didn’t give a shit! The why’s from Little man directed at myself, a mother without the heart to be truthful! Yet deep down he knew, I know he did!

You may have the word why running through your mind right now as you read this! You maybe asking, “Why I’m even writing this?”

Yes, the above situation wasn’t yesterday, it was just one of many crawl blows thrown at my child at the end of last year. The example above took place in December 2010.

Now, I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past, and I’m not (well, not really). It’s hard to forget and I doubt we ever will, though the reason it was actually brought to the front of my mind was for reasons of happiness and excitement, not sadness.

Yes, now in 2011 and finally in a school that understands him, I finally got to see my little man take part in a whole school activity.

This time as I entered my son’s school there was no stares or whispers. I spoke with fellow parents unworried about their response when they would discover who my child was. This is a feeling I’ve waited and waited for, now I finally have it!

It was the celebration of the harvest festival and parents were invited into school for a special assembly. Gosh I was excited, despite the fact I had literally had not a wink of sleep. With this in mind I headed off upstairs to chill for a bit. Little H was with his father so that left me a bit of mummy time. Running the hot water into the bath tube the air was filled with the scent of Radox relaxing bath salts, “This is the life” I thought as I slowly lowered a leg in the tub!

Ring… ring… ring… “Bloody typical” I shouted to myself aloud as I almost slipped and broke my neck as I frantically dashed for my mobile located on my bedside table.

“Hello” I spouted in a somewhat breathless tone (which couldn’t of sounded great) especially on discovering it was in-fact Little mans school who thankfully put me at ease instantly by stated “Don’t worry, there is nothing to worry about” Turns out the Little man has actually left his lunch at home, well, that or in his transport (the taxi he takes to school of a morning) His school don’t currently serve school dinners. This is mainly due to how new the school is and the fact there really is little point employing staff and serving food for under 20 kids (not like the little man will agree to eat it any how).

This only meant one thing! Mum would have to deliver that lunch asap! First I had to unearth it, I couldn’t actually recall seeing it since he left at 8.30 am that morning. I searched the house like a mad woman and at 11.50 and the school being some distance away (one train and a bus kind of distance) I began to worry when I still couldn’t find it! It wasn’t a case of just throw together another one, believe it or not I buy the stuff fresh each morning in some kind of hope he will eat it, so in-order to do so I’d need a shop!

As I darted out the door, on the mission for lunch something caught my eye! Surely not? Hang on…. No,… It only bloody is! There sat his Chelsea FC lunch box on top of the wheely bin. Well, I agree it’s not the most pleasant place to keep your lunch but with the clock ticking, I came to the conclusion, “It wasn’t actually in the bin! Would he actually need to know?” I guess not!

I finally made it to the school, red-faced and paranoid that I didn’t smell like the aroma of Radox bath salts, and more like a sweating scum-bag but given the fact no one smiled and moved away, I came to the conclusion it was my lack of sleep making me think this way (after all, it’s not like I hadn’t washed or something)!

The assembly wouldn’t start till 1.30 and it was half past midday and without a car and feeling like I was in the middle off nowhere I went outside sat on what was quite a pleasant little bench, indulged in my nasty but pleasurable habit of puffing a cigarette while scrolling trough my twitter timeline, engaging in far to many conversations to remain sane before going back inside to find my little man waiting for me in the reception-area.

“Mum, I’m not having a great day” he told me! Apparently no one was! The teacher described it as one of those days where the children all seem to be experiencing some kind of upset. Let’s not forget these children all have an autism spectrum condition, all face a range of difficulties and the smallest things can cause problems. Chatting with my little man it would seem he was excited yet a little nervous about his piece that he had offered to read in the assembly. My little man wanted to do the reading and was adamant. We read it together and he read it perfect! Confidence was the issue here something that had become smashed over the years.

As Little man went off to get ready I got to say hello to the very lovely Anna Kennedy. For those of you who don’t know who Ann is, I’ll enlighten you!

Anna isn’t only the founder of little mans independent special school for children with autism and aspergers, she’s also a parent of two children on the spectrum who felt her only option left to get her boys into a school was to open one herself. This wasn’t little man’s current school but another called ‘Hillingdon Manor’ in Middlesex and this all happened back in the nineties. Baston house (Little man’s school) is a school that Anna has open more recently. Anna has since established a bit of a name for herself as an inspirational advocate for autism and is also now a very successful business woman. I for one agree that Anna is inspirational, actually she’s a breath of fresh air to the autism community and I couldn’t be happier to have my child in a school that has been made possible by this very woman. My guess is many parents feel this gratefulness that I am currently feeling as I write this down.

Having spoken to Anna for some time (way before little man started school) on networks such as twitter and facebook (Little man also appeared on a news report on bullying that Anna organised) it was lovely to finally meet her in person.

As I sat In the hall waiting for the children’s performance I felt proud that my son was a part of it all. He ran around and his anxiety was a tad increased, plus the fact I was there meant he become a little bit of a terror, but so did a few of the children. What was magical was the fact no one made an issue about it, if the children ran from their chairs or dashed off behind the stage curtains they were encouraged to come back to their seats in a clam and unthreatening manner. Not one teacher raised their voice, not one!

The vicar from the local church came to speak about the occassion in which the children were celebrating. The table was covered in food that the children had donated. I had to laugh when the vicar stated, “Look at all this lovely food you all brought” only for one young man to shout out, “Actually, I brought in most of it” What a classic!

The vicar told a story to symbolise what the true meaning was of the Harvest festival and the children did shout out some pretty random things (little man more than anyone else, I think) Any other school he would have been reprimanded for such behaviour! They all put up their hands but just could not retain the urge to state what it was they wanted to say, this however was fine!

When it came to the reading Little man and a few others gathered at the stage. All giggled and in turn each took the microphone and read aloud (beautifully I must add)! Little man was last and as he took the mic he said one word and then froze. He turned to his TA and stated “I can’t do it, please do it” I knew he could read it, after all I heard him not half an hour before when we practised. My son hadn’t ever been given such a chance till now and his confidence just wasn’t there! Then something beautiful happened! Two of the staff, including his teaching assistant (who he is most keen on) and the other boys who had previously read came together with little man and read the poem with him. There was no laughing at him, no nasty remarks and no huff from the teacher, just pure encouragement!

I didn’t only write this post to express my delight at the situation we are now in, and although I wanted to share such delight with you all, I have another more important reason!

“When life seems like it cannot get much worse and you’re in the height of your long fought out battle to get your child what they did! When you think there really is no light at the end of that very long tunnel, please don’t give up, just remember this post!”

Those of you that take your child to school everyday and collect them without a hiccup, you should never take such straightforwardness for granted… You really don’t know how lucky you are!

Thank you to everyone at Baston house for giving me hope and giving my child back his smile, the greatest gift of all.

Related articles

• Teaching Teachers About Autism (psychologytoday.com)
• Autism Reality Check: Huffington Post Now Misrepresents Autism Disorders (autisminnb.blogspot.com)
• Where’s the support for autistic young people? (guardian.co.uk)

Little man takes over the blog!

Well, Hello everyone

Very special post for you all today, a treat for all that voted for me as their Most Inspiring blogger, I’m humbled and still on cloud nine that I won.

Anyway enough off all that, I’m boring every one with my over excitement.

So, as for this treat I have to share? Those who have been following this blog from day dot will know how hard its been and may remember a post I was preparing back in late 2010?

It was in actual fact an interview as opposed to a post.

The person being interviewed would be my very own Little man (aka a boy with aspergers)

Yet things got messy and things were now far to uncertain in little man’s life. I was confused! Can you just imagine how he felt!

I made a claim to the tribunal on the grounds of discrimination against Little man’s old mainstream primary who were now teaching him in isolation, hiding him from ‘Ofsted’ inspectors, excluding him daily, which they did once or twice on an unofficial basis! This soon stopped as I set about learning the Ins and outs of educational law.

Little man was never able to mix with his peers, he missed one school trip after another, till he snapped and began throwing his whole body into brick walls, scratching his arms till they bleed and whacking his head against the wall!

He even sat in a room alone as his peers enjoyed Christmas Carols in assembly.

Final straw was well and truly pulled and I withdrew and become his mum and his teacher for a few months. He then got a home tuition programme on the grounds there were medical reasons.

We were now fighting for an assessment, then a statement. We got both, but the statement wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. Only a few months back did we receive his now final statement with everything in it (OT and SALT)

best of all his attending an independent special school for children with Autism and Aspergers.

We withdrew the discrimination case at the last-minute settling outer tribunal. We now have the apology letter for the heartache caused. It’s not going to repair things but it’s something and little man can look at that one day when he needs to as he often blames himself.

I was also taken to court for Non school attendance, what a disgrace I know! At least I didn’t go to prison, though it was possible.

Now life is better, I look at that mess and think about how stressed and unhappy we were as a family! That’s why I think now would be a great time to got that bit further and let Little man do a bit of the talking for a change, hopefully building up some confidence along the way.

We don’t have a magical tale to tell, just some pretty normal random stuff and a bit about the issues above. All the same we really hope you enjoy reading…

It’s 4 pm Little man returns from his day at school via his transport/taxi. He doesn’t ran off to his room like he always did in the past, things are different somehow now!

He came and sat with me and he spontaneously begins telling me about his day. He received ten thumbs up the highest achievement one could get! I was chuffed and he was just as happy, I could tell by the big fat grin spread across his chops.

Mum: So, Little Man do you fancy being interviewed

LM (Little man) Being What?

Mum: Interviewed!!!

LM: Like on the news mum?

We’ve both done reports with the BBC news and ITN as well as local papers and radio.

I can’t blame him for thinking it!

I explained what I wanted to do in terms of sharing it with readers from the blog. He looked at me like a weird crazy chick.

Mum: If I interview you the readers will hear your own voice instead of your mums!

LM: How, if its written?

Yep he has a literal understanding to which I try my best to avoid them little sayings but they sometimes slip of the tongue.

LM: What do you mean they want to hear my voice instead of my mums! You are my mum!

Yep, I’d hit him with a double dose of confusion!

Mum: Oh,You know what I mean (as soon as I said it I thought what a stupid thing to say).

LM: Umm Nooooo

A little bit more prep and we were back on track (though I avoided making that statement out loud)!

Ready steady go…..

Mum: Hi there, what’s your name and how old are you?

A burst of laughter filled the air!

LM: You know my name mum stop asking me stuff you know.

Mum: It’s not for me, it’s for our readers, come on let’s do it!

LM: Do What?

Mum: The blog… Do the interview!

LM: Oh… *giggles* I know now! My name is G and I am 10 years old!

Mum: *cough-cough, How old?

LM: Oh, Oh, I’m 11 actually I had a birthday on Saturday.

Mum: Sign you’re getting old.

LM: I’m just 11 years old, your very old…

Charming!

Mum: So you have something called Asperger’s syndrome can you tell us a little bit about it if you don’t mind?

LM: I can, Aspergers is a very, very clever thing, But I didn’t used to think this. Some geniuses have Aspergers.

Mum: What… Ginger’s?

LM: Nooooo Genius

A few months ago he would have taken that as me taking the “piss” out of his hair resulting in a meltdown. This time he laughed at my mistake alongside me 🙂

Mum: are you a genius?

LM: No! Well actually I’m a genius on buses and bus numbers I think!

We then get stuck into his favourite game for a further 10 minutes. I have to shout out random bus numbers and he states their destinations.

LM: Mum, I really Like the lady’s voice who announces your destination on the bus! Is she a computer?

Mum: Umm yes, I think so!

LM: Mum is she foreign?

Mum: What, why?

LM: I just need to know!

He continues mimicking her voice in a monotone type of way!

Redirection was needed, Buses could kill this interview!

Mum: What School do you go?

LM: xxxxx school for autism

Mum: Where did you go before?

LM: With my tutor!

He looks sad as he misses him dearly. The tutor taught him on a one to one basis at the library for 5hrs per day during the week as no school would take him (apart from his current one who the LEA first refused). He was with his tutor at least 6 months.

Mum: What school did you go to before that?

LM: A horrible one!!

LM: Why wasn’t I allowed to play or be with other children. The head told me I was rough and made me miss all trips at last-minute. He made me angry, he didn’t like me.

LM: Mum, I don’t understand why I was never allowed in classroom when I was good? Is it because I have Aspergers so I’m not the same?

Mum: No you’re not the same your better!

Slight smile…

LM: Mum tell the readers about the day he called us at home and wouldn’t let me on the coach!

I said two words and he cried… It still hurts, So we skip it.

Mum: What’s the best thing about your new school?

LM: Time!

Mum: Time… I don’t understand.

LM: You are not told you have 10 minutes or 20 minutes no one rushes you and makes you feel worried about doing work. That’s the best bit!

Mum: That’s good babe, anything else?

LM: The children some are like me. They don’t pretend to like me I think they do.

I’m rubbing a tear 🙂 a happy one of course.

Mum: Whats the best lesson?

LM: PHSE… No, no actually Social skills!

Mum: What’s that then?

LM: Faces and stuff…

Mum: Faces?

LM: Yes, faces and feelings and the way faces look!

Mum: Oh… I see.

LM: We can’t do science in special lab yet.

Mum: Maybe soon?

LM: Yes, maybe!

Mum: What are you good at?

LM: Maths… you know that mum because I’m better then you!

No, his not joking… He is!

Mum: What lesson are you not so good at?

LM: Handwriting, I don’t like it as it hurts my fingers.

Mum: What else don’t you like?

LM: A knife and fork scrapping on the plates like Alice does!

He pulls a funny face and wiggles

LM: It makes me fuzzy mum!

Mum: So, What do you really love like?

LM: Lots… I like buses best ever, then trains & tube and black taxies.

Mum: Anything else?

LM: The word international and music, I like Bruno Mars.

Then his gone…

Mum: “Where you going” I shout!

To which he replies…

“We are finished mum”

Charming, so, bloody charming indeed!

This ones for you Little man

 There was lip gloss, cleavage and killer heels. Fancy frocks, satin bags and the odd freshly pressed suit! Soho didn’t know what hit it when the mummy bloggers and one or two daddy bloggers, came to town!

 The occasion? Why, the Mad blog awards of course!

 The theme was “GLAM” and Glam it was! There was some serious hot dresses on display with shoes you longed to adopt and take home as your own.

 I spent much of Friday afternoon in the salon, where my long locks were chopped and replaced with a shorter but nicer restyle.

Then It was a mad dash to the beautiful Radisson  Edwardian Kenilworth hotel in London’s west end. It was here, I got ready for the long-awaited big night ahead. Jeans and a tee were swapped  for a floor sweeping, black satin grown, black stilettos and sparkly, shimmering makeup. With a generous spray of Jean Paul Gaultier & little black clutch in hand, I was all set!

 On arrival at the Talk Talk experience centre Soho, I was greeted by a photographer who took a couple of full length pictures before allowing me to scramble off reaching for a glass of white. It was clear on arrival that Sally and the sponsors had gone all out to create an amazing event for us bloggers.

 I met some awesome bloggers, one’s I had met before but overjoyed to meet again, others I knew from online and had wanted to meet for ages and some I was yet to discover. The atmosphere was electric, and as the wine bottles emptied the laughter grew stronger. With each award came a spectrum of reactions and emotions. There were tears, laughter, gasps & roars of applause.

 When the little gold envelope was opened and I heard the words “A boy with Aspergers” my  tummy became a flutter of butterflies and my eyes watered every so very slightly. Yes, stood there with my little glass award in one hand, a microphone in the other, all I could say was

“OMG I’VE WON”

which was followed by a muttered ,

“I don’t know what to say but thank you”

Yes, the word “Thank You” was repeated several times before I scooted off.

Louise (@bobbity666) left, Me & my lovely award centre, Jenny (@Edspire)

No, of course I hadn’t  prepared a speech, that meant I had considered myself a winner. I didn’t even want to think along that line, So with no speech I stood like a donut . There was so many things I wanted to say, they were buried in my head unable to flow out. Nonetheless I would like to think there’s a way to make up for my lack of spoken words by doing what I do best…. Sharing my thoughts and emotions through my writing!

 So, without further delay, here’s what I should have said on collection of my award for the Most inspiring blogger!

 Huge thank you to all that nominated and voted for me to win, those in cyberspace as well as my lovely family and friends You lot are truly amazing, please go about your day today knowing you made this mum and blogger smile a massive smile.

 Sally Whittle (@swhittle) I just can’t thank you enough! Not just for Friday night but the whole experience, it’s just been amazing for me! From the day I discovered I was nominated to the night I collected my winning award I’ve just had such a ball. Yourself with the help of Jen, Parentdish, Talk-Talk and all the other Mad sponsors, made me and so many others feel really special, thank you to you all for making this brilliant event possible.

The lovely Sally Whittle who made it all happen.

  Special thanks to Mothercare, the sponsor of my winning category, “Most Inspiring blogger”

 Sending a big thank you to TK Maxx, Helen (@HelenGunter) & Polly (@p_hibb) for the beautiful dress, shoes and accessories that were perfect for me and helped me to feel comfortable and confident on the night!

 Thanks to my fellow finalist, who helped create an amazing reading list, I’ve uncovered so many great blogs to read. An extra special thank you to the finalist in my category “Most Inspiring” who have all been so lovely to me, your all incredible  and I will continue to read you’re inspiring blogs.

Kylie (@kykaree) it was lovely to see you again, you looked ravishing.

 Massive Thank you to my personal sponsor OptiBac Probiotics, ( who have not only given me support and encouragement but introduced my family to their fantastic products that have been of great benefit to all, but exceptional for my son who has Asperger’s syndrome. lastly thank you OptiBac for covering my hotel expenses at the fabulous Radisson Edwardian hotel, avoiding a half cut merry mum, night busing it through London (don’t think the children would have appreciated waking to a half-drunken mum on the sofa) so thank you.

An added thank you to Soyraya who is part of the OptiBac team and is just the loveliest person you can ever wish to work with when working with a brand.

 Lastly ( Yes, I know! Bet you’re glad I was speechless on the night, anyone would thing I’d won an Oscar) nonetheless I have to thank my three beautiful Children, especially Little Man (aka A boy with aspergers) for giving me the inspiration to write and share our story, the highs and the heartbreaking lows that have brought us to where we are now (a much better place).

Little Man (aka A boy with Aspergers)

“This Little man, this one’s for you! Happy 11th Birthday!”

 As for the “Blogger of the year” I didn’t win this, So don’t panic, I’m not about to reel of any more speeches,  though I would like to congratulate Anna Ranson (@imaginationTree) who was crowned the Mad blogger of the year for her fabulous blog, “The Imagination Tree”

 Well, done

(No hard feelings, that is unless I see you walking the streets alone 🙂 Don’t panic, It’s just a joke)

 I was also super pleased for Lisa (@MummyWhisperer) and Ruth, (@geekmummy) not only where they dressed by TK Maxx meaning I got to meet them during the run up to the awards, they are also fellow winners.

Lisa (Mummy Whisper) Sally Whittle

Ruth (Geek Mummy) collecting her award.

Huge Congratulations girls.

  A highlight to this already wonderful evening was  meeting the lovely Karen (@allaboutheboys). Gosh, Karen had the most stunning shoes, she has taste that’s for sure! Also the lovely Jenny (better known on twitter as @edspire) a real gem with great dress sense. These are two ladies who are genuinely really lovely both on and off-line!

 There are many others I had the pleasure to chat with, far to many to name.

 The rest of the night went by in a haze of excitement and alcohol, after an eventful taxi ride back to the hotel (long story) and a quick change of clothes I headed to a local bar in Covent Garden with these awesome lot, @SuperAmazingMum who was live blogging  (We finally met 3rd time lucky), @michelletwinmum (who had the best eye makeup by far), @seasiderclare (really sweet and friendly),@alforalenyna (who made me laugh so much I almost passed urine) and last but not least @bobbity666 who with Jenny I spent most the evening with and would love to meet again.

Michelle (@michelletwinmum), Clare (@seasiderclare)  (@alforalenyna)

Michelle, Louise (bobbity666)

The very lovely Super amazing mum (Live blogger) we finally meet &  so worth the wait

We had a lush few bottles of wine that we all sat and drunk into the small hours of Saturday morning, before heading for some over priced but yummy fast food (in an alcohol intoxicated kind of way) before walking back to the hotel and parting.

 As I lay on my massive double bed with luxurious velvet throw I drifted of to sleep dreaming about the full English that would greet me in a few hours time, only that didn’t go to plan!

 Waking up with a maid looking over me at 11.35 am was so not the plan!

“Oh no you sleep to late, you must check out”

For a moment I stared at her

“Who the hell are you and where the f*** am I?”

Was what first thought that came to mind, before  it hit me! I suddenly found myself doing things in fast forward (Benny Hill style) jumping up throwing belongings into bags, cat licking instead of showering and getting out of there looking rough, slightly hung over and gutted about my breakie, yet excited about seeing the kids and giving a (Not so little Man) a Happy birthday kiss.

 So, there it is! I mingled, drank, scared a maid with my sticking up Barnet and panda eyes and WON myself a Mad blog 

Not bad for one night ha?

 To see the full list of winners click HERE

Silent Sunday

PRINCESS IN HEELS

As a little girl, I daydreamed about being a princess, as I grew up that daydream continued.

 Well, who would have thought that writing a blog (That when first started up, mainly consisted with lots of rants) would transform me into just that, a princess? 

 Yes, seriously for one day and night Cinders will be transformed and then sent of to the ball! The ball of course being the Mad blog awards, and the transformation… well, that started to take shape a few days back!

Yes, I was just one of a handful of lovely ladies, who happen to be finalist, like me, who were whisked off to TK Maxx High street Kensington, London for some serious dress shopping. (Well, “whisked” would be a bit of an exaggeration given I was 45 minutes late and arrived by train). 

Once in the TK Maxx store, I was bombarded with a mass of stunning dresses (not, that I was complaining of course). I then had the difficult task of choosing one, an important task considering it’s for my first ever awards ceremony! How grateful I was to have the lovely Polly (TK Maxx PR) and the awesome Sally (the founder and organiser of the Mads) plus a few of my lovely fellow finalist, at hand to help me make this important decision!

 Then I had the most fantastic time trying on shoes! OMG, I’m shoe crazy! This really was princess heaven handed on a platter.

 Shoes in every colour and style I could find, touched my feet. Decisions, decisions… lots of decisions! I even got to top it all of by adding a pretty little clutch bag and a shrug to complete my outfit… Lush!

 TK Maxx and Sally had created the perfect treat. There was no looking at the children’s section, no choosing baby or toddler items, it was all about us and making us feel special. TK Maxx were kindly supplying us with the dresses and accessories curtsy of the store, which was just mind blowing! Not only did this take the whole stress and of course expense, out of shopping for the perfect dress, it also gave me an opportunity to meet a few of the other bloggers, meaning that on the big night I wouldn’t be stood like a plum in a dress. 

 

  This was made so much easier as the lovely people of TK Maxx took us all for a lovely meal with deserts to die for (I know, I know, I have a dress to fit into) but who could resist? (In actual fact… None of us could!)

 There was lots of chatting and getting to know each other, I spoke in length to the fabulous Lisa aka @mummywhisperer, who really does inspire you to sparkle. Her adorable daughter and nanny joined us for lunch too. I also got to meet Kylie @Kykaree (Not even a bag of sugar) and her beautiful little boy who was born at 27 weeks gestation but is really thriving! (Kylie is, like me, a finalist in the “Most inspiring” category.) Maria aka @verybusymama, was great fun, loving her super fast no carbs diet tips which she unfortunately shared after the pudding 🙂 Ruth aka @geekmummy was lovely so friendly as was Monika aka @mumontheblink! Then of course, I finally got to meet Sally aka @swhittle founder/organiser of the Mads and Polly (TK Maxx PR) both were really nice and very encouraging when trying on dresses, keeping us all smiling (leaving no time for any girlie body hang ups.)

  I loved the fact everyone had read each others blogs. This meant good conversation as we had plenty of topics to discuss. Autism, mummy coaching and premature birth being a few. I learnt lots about blog camp Brighton, which I’m now really excited about and have been pre warned not to tweet and ask what your all wearing for the event (Yes that’s right It’s informal ladies and gents) So, I wont be turning up in my stunning new dress then (which will be revealed next Friday) !

 So, in till then, I will exercise like a nut job on pro-plus, watch my easily expanding waistline as to avoid bursting out the seams of my figure hugging dress, get myself a hair cut, get my nails done and then just go with the flow.

 Message for all the lovely bloggers who were part of the TK Maxx shopping experience… you all looked gorgeous and I can’t wait to walk in my new heels beside you all. 

Also why not visit my fab Sponsor, ‘ OptiBac probiotics’ over on facebook and say hello.

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