Money Saving And Financial Support Resources For Those Parenting A Child With A Disability

We all know that parenting children with disabilities or SEN is more costly for whatever reason!

That’s why I wanted to share some great resources designed to help such families save money and lessen the burden.

Help with the everyday cost of living

If your child is entitled to any benefits such as Disability Living Allowance (DLA) be sure to claim them as your child’s appropriate adult.

Filling out DLA forms can seem a daunting process but there is help out there. Many online sites have developed detailed guides to help you fill in the form to the best of your ability.

Once your child’s DLA application has been approved, fill out a Carers Allowance form (better still do it at the same time as the DLA form) This isn’t a great deal of money but does help to lessen the burden especially if you are caring full time and are not in the position to work.

Save Money On Days Out

Most major theme parks and attractions do offer special rates for those with a disability and their carer. I would suggest visiting your planed attraction online. All will need to have easy access to their policies relating to disability, access and pricing. Most of the large parks also provide special access passes so those who find it difficult to queue can use the rides exist. Note… Each park has its own policies but most will require you to bring a certain amount of identification as well as proof of disability.

Financial Support Towards Days Out & Holiday’s

The Happy Days Charity funds and organises holidays, residential trips, days out and theatre trips for children and young people aged 3 to 17 years with learning difficulties, physical or mental disabilities.

Individuals can apply for help with the cost of days out and theatre trips, while families can apply for funding towards a one week UK family holiday (though a supporting letter from a professional is needed).

Another charity that can provide assistance to families in need of a break are the “Family Holiday Association” who helps disadvantaged children and their families with family UK breaks. Applications must be made by a welfare agent exp… Social worker etc.

Below is a charity who have helped us fund days out to their attractions, such as Lego Land and Chessington. They have done this by providing us with complementary family tickets. Note… there was some talk last year of pending changes to the way the charity processed applications form families of autistic children so you should refer to their website for full details….

Merlin’s Magic Wand is a worldwide charity for children, aiming to provide magical experiences for those who are seriously ill, disabled or disadvantaged.

The charity has been created by the Merlin Entertainments Group, Merlin’s Magic Wand is a UK charitable trust, run by a Board of Trustees. The board manages the funds and makes awards to good causes in the countries in which Merlin operates. Find out who is eligible and how to apply by visiting their website.

Its also worth noting that Scope have a special inclusion service designed to help children and young people with disabilities access leisure activities and facilities within their own communities.

Save Money On Travel Costs.

Earlier in the week I spoke about the disabled persons railcard which enables the card holder and carer upto 30% each of their travel. There is a yearly fee of around £20 but its worth it as you can save a fortune. I also highlighted how those claiming DLA who receive the high care rate and live in london can normally apply for a disabled persons pass (which enables the card holder free travel in london) You should check with the local authority or DWP about accessing this service. Those who receive the mobility part at the higher rate are also entitled to a blue badge which could make parking at hospitals etc a whole lot cheaper and easier. If the person in receipt of the benefit is a minor the child’s carer is able to use the badge on the family car.

Those in receipt of mobility may also be given the option of a car provided for their use by a car dealer on behalf of the DLA. This means a brand new car is provided to the family but the cost is taken from the mobility part of their DLA and they will receive no or very little cash payment (but will have the car for as long as they are in receipt of the benefit with the option of upgrades).

Financial assistance for home improvements and mobility aids.

That Act Foundation gives grants to individuals and charities based in the UK. These grants are designed to enhance the quality of life specifically for those with physical and/or learning disabilities.

Grants can be provided for building (modifications to the home)
Equipment (mobility aids etc…)
Financial assistance towards respite registered breaks.

The local authority/council can provide help and assistance in way of a disabled facilities grant. This is designed to provide financial assistance to enable families to make adaptions to the home as to allow the child with a disability to continue living there. Note: for those under the age of 19 years this is not means tested.

The Variety Club is a really great charity who provide grants and assistance to provide families with vital daily items that often go unconsidered yet cost thousands of pounds every year. These include things like bath mats, toilet seats, car seats and more.

Family Fund Is another fabulous charity that provide families of disabled children grants and vouchers for essential items such as appliances and more. They can even supply families with vouchers towards holidays within the UK and aboard, as well as some of the cost towards driving lessons to make live that little bit more easier.

There are some fantastic charities out there, set up to provide families parenting a child with a disability advice and in some cases financial support. Its just finding them that seems to be the problem for some. Those listed above are just a handful, there are many others available to help and you may be able to find the right service for you by visiting the one of these online directories…
Funder Finder
Living Made Easy For Children

An emotional but wonderful sports day

School sports day… We all know them well, or do we?

Little man has never really experienced the real joy of a school sports day. His never truly known how fun these can be! His perception of sports day is one that involves sitting in the sidelines or being told he needs to try harder. Well… That was up in till now.

Little man has experienced many positives since joining his new independent special school, ones I’d never thought he would encounter when things looked so gloomy. These include the joy of school trips and above all involvement!

Yesterday was sports day, an exciting day for all children attending the school. Parents were invited to bring a picnic and join the children for an event which would be a first for many! I feel the parent of your “typical” child may take such a thing as sports day for granted. I don’t mean this in a bad way, why would I? It’s just that many parents of children with SEN long for their children to experience how fun such events and activities can actually be.

Myself and two friends took our picnic and went and joined the school on what seemed to be the first sunny day in ages. God was on our side!

Admittedly I was a little late, not great when your child has Aspergers Syndrome. He was a little anxious and seemed a little upset on my arrival. I had explained to little man that I would be arriving at 11 am as opposed to 10.30 am, I had obviously not made myself as clear as maybe I should have.

Despite the bad start things settled down quickly and we laid down our picnic blanket and watched the games commence. There are only around 16 children in the whole of the school which meant all got the support needed to ensure the day went without a hitch. The staff at my sons school are amazing, each one has a complete understanding of each child’s needs and all worked hard to ensure pupils and parents enjoyed the day.

Luckily I was wearing oversized shades so I couldn’t be seen welling up when little man won the 450m race. It wasn’t the winning it was the participation and the smile on his face that did it! He could have came last and I still would have been as proud. Staff ran with children who struggled to make it to the finishing line, us parents along with staff members supplied plenty of verbal encouragement cheering each child who approached the finish line. The atmosphere was absolutely brilliant.

On the morning of the sports day little man seemed to be a little anxious about the whole experience, after all it’s always been a negative experience for him when in mainstream school. The picture below shows how much little man enjoyed the day, you can only imagine how it makes me feel as his mother to see him this comfortable.

I went along convinced that this mum was not participating in any parent centred activities but once there how could I possibly refuse. Saying that I didn’t run in the egg and spoon race… I know what a chicken!

I made a beautiful picnic and it was lovely to sit in the sunshine and eat calmly beside little man (a rare event in our house). I then kicked back and watched little man enjoy the rest of his day.

Little man gets ready for a tug of war (yes his team win).

Gearing up for the long jump.

The sports day was organised to last the entire day and at the end a great awards presentation was organised. There made sure that every child received awards just for participating, making each child smile and feel truly appreciated. One little boy even received a cup for trying so hard which I must admit, really made me tearful (the smile on his face was magical).

As for my little man… Well he received 3 awards… Oh and even I got one.

Seriously.. Proud doesn’t seem to cut it!

Award presentation.

Little man and his awards.

Massive thank you to everyone at Baston House School for making sports day a magical one.

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!

Image via Wikipedia

Warning, the picture of the loo roll indicates the amount of crap mentioned within this one post! Seriously continue reading and you will see!

So, the return to school is upon us, we hit the high Street for uniform, stock the fridge with packed lunch, try to re-establish the already crap bedtime routine and pray the kids will get up in the mornings.

I’ve never had the privilege of looking forward to the kids returning to the land of learning so that I, ‘Mummy’ can over indulge on cbebbies with little H. I always kinda preferred the holidays over the term times, and never acquired that feeling that many do, “I can’t wait for these kids to return to school in September!” When the Little man was in his old school he was normally excluded within a few hours of returning. My daughter has no problems in school, but then again she isn’t expected just to fit in! That’s right, my daughter doesn’t have Aspergers syndrome which means she is welcomed on school trips and is given a part in the Christmas play. I don’t need to wipe her tears and try to find the answers as to why she isn’t allowed to join in with her peers or why she is being taught in isolation as opposed to in the class-room alongside her peers. Its simple… My daughter has not been discriminated against for being “different” she’s one of the lucky one’s!

Little man wasn’t, he sadly went through all the above and more, that was in-till he moved to a school especially for those with autism and aspergers. He only started the independent special school a month prior to the school holidays, yet in that short space of time, things were amazingly different, so much so, I cannot find the appropriate words to describe this situation any better. Normally by this time of the month dread has started to set in. I find myself becoming depressed with what’s to come, a pool of sick lay deep in  my stomach waiting to be stirred! Yes, I’ve done all that rubbish of trying to remain positive, “LOOK AT ME I’M SO POSITIVE, I MAYBE SMILING LIKE A CHESHIRE CAT ON THE OUTSIDE BUT GOD I’M HOWLING ON THE INSIDE”. When you have been crapped on as many times as we have its pretty hard not to lose all hope.

That’s why it’s strange, I haven’t got that feeling of dread, that deep Pit of sickness in the bottom of my stomach. Don’t get me wrong I’m thankful it’s gone yet I don’t know what to replace it with? “God at times I make so little sense, I struggle to understand myself” Surely I replace it with nothing, isn’t this the overall beauty of it, the beauty of no worries? It’s been so long that I’m totally lost when it comes to being free from such dread, seriously, to many I’m I may even sound as though I’m missing the drama! Well, I’m not, I promise you that! 

It’s not just the removal of the dread surrounding the return to school, it’s all of it, the whole stinking lot of it! You see, you spend so long fighting, it becomes a normality! You don’t see light at the end of the tunnel, it takes over your life… the daily calls to collect your child, the letters you write, appeals and representations you make on their behalf. You give it all you have, wishing for an end, a break from the grilling daily fight, then your hard work pays off! Your child gets into that special school, yet when they do… the massive hit of relieve you waited for doesn’t bowl you over quite like you expected it too. Instead you find that you have gone into some kind of shock, you’re unable to settle and adjust because I guess you’re waiting for someone to take it all away.

I know we are not completely home, safe and dry, (can you every be when your child has special educational need, living amongst a system obsessed with saving money regardless of how its achieved). Yes, anything can happen! Yet this is the same with everything in life, meaning taking each day as it comes, enjoying everyday that don’t bring with it a pile of stinking poop.

Friday, last week I got that bit of paper I’ve worked so dam bloody hard to get. Yes, It has been placed in my hands previous, only to be given straight back with the words, “Stick it where the sun don’t shine” attached to both Little man’s proposed and final statements of Special educational needs.

Gosh, I was fast becoming an expert on the use of fluffy wording that gave the LEA a, “Get out of jail free card” 

Excepting such an insult would make the whole deliberating experience to that point, completely and utterly worthless. 

Believe me, having a statement that states nothing other then good old fashioned common sense, was not the kind of statement that would see my child’s special educational needs met. I had constantly heard that it was my duty as a parent to ensure my child’s attendance at school during the height of Little man’s school refusal! So, wasn’t it my duty as his parent to ensure that when he did get there he was happy, cared for, involved, treated respectful, made to fill his contribution to the school along with his individual opinions were valued?

Such question pushed me to where we are today, where I was last Friday!

It had been pretty quite for some time (I hadn’t heard a peep out of the LEA) Little man may have already gain the place we so furiously fought for, yet his statement still remained a sheet of paper not even worthy as bog roll! For this reason the tribunal was still scheduled for the 26th of September.

It remained in the hands of the Gods (well, at times I’m sure they think they are)! Three independent reports, detailing a wealth of information! These were reports so detailed and lengthily that I myself discovered thinks about my child causing me to both cry and smile. The whole tiresome experience of trying to get your child a statement of SEN sends your head spinning in a total mass of emotions.

I opened the email from my solicitor and read how she had received the copy of a proposed amended statement, that was sent to me (Well, I’m still waiting) However not to freight, with the request for a forward the solicitor sent me a copy via email that I so eagerly downloaded and with bated breathe, I opened the attachment! 

There in black and white was every amendment requested, no corners cut, no compromising! Was the LEA all out of compromises? Were they beginning to have enough of the battle, just as I had done all so long ago? Surely they weren’t providing my little man with the ultimate gift available to them… A package of provision to unsure my sons needs where met, like he so greatly deserved, like you or I?

YES, YES, BLOODY YES…….

I looked over in his direction and let out a yelp, followed by a, “WE DID IT BABY!”

He smiles, high five’s me then sits down to continue his game. He was happy for his mum was happy, however he could not fully understand the extent of relieve that the battle being fought was finally over! He had no clue to what might have been!

And do you know what? That was just the way I liked it!

I never want to fight a fight like this again, yet I know that there will be times I will need to fight my sons corner, whether it relates to his educational or social needs, well, as for the remainder of his childhood anyway! (I’m pretty sure he will be somewhat of a great advocate for himself when his older!)

For now I’ll try my hardest to adjust back into a life of normality (what ever that maybe)! I’ll take each day as it comes, enjoying every school performance that both my children take part in. I’ll roll about in the comfort that he now feels that he belongs .

I’ll channel my desire to help others in that same position, into my work as a voluntary tribunal support adviser, I’ll spend more them on my blog indulging my passion to write and throw myself back into my passion for art!

I’ll discover, learn and watch my new interest in photography evolve 

I wont miss a single moment of my toddlers amazing milestones!

I’ll just try my best to be me again

Only a much improved vision

I can officially confirm

“What doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger!”

Related articles

• Feeling a tad proud (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Taking the Special out of Special Education (ontarioeducation.wordpress.com)
• Rwanda makes gains in all-inclusive education (guardian.co.uk)

Aspirations Or Clever Financial Alterations! You Decide

We waited and waited and on the 9th, March 2011 we finally got to see  what the Coalition had in store for us in way of the ‘Green Paper’ titled ‘Support and aspiration: A new approach to special educational needs and disability’

Talking as a parent i’m pleased to see that the  proposed education, health and social care plans (EHSCP) that are planed to replace statements of special educational needs will still give parents the same legal protection that a statement brings. The proposed plan would be aimed at 0-25 year olds not just school aged children. The plans will also involve support in the areas of health and social care as well as education, something that has been missing for too long! However I do wonder how this will affect those already with statements especially in terms of funding and the talk of allocated key-workers. Surely the statements will be reviewed in the same way as the EHSCP and so forth! The statements will therefore need to be maintained in-till the child reaches 25 and be amended to include the health and social care aspect.

Another proposal I welcome is the prospect of being given more choice on where our children are educated. I know many will accuse the coalition of  creating barriers to inclusive education in mainstream schools, but I am a firm believer that mainstream is not always the right way. People must remember that all children are different regardless of their special educational needs or disability, Just because society thinks that every child with sen/disability should learn beside their peers, In reality this isn’t easy for some (My son included) I believe that mainstream was seriously affecting his mental health which is the case for many children. I’m also very interested to hear more on the proposal of individualised budgets with greater parental control giving us a voice that allows us to express views on what services and provision such funding should provide. This is proposed to come into action by the year 2014. In till such date I will remain completely open mind. My mother used to tell me, “If something seems to good to be true, then it probably is.” For that reason I dare to get my hopes up.

Some maybe shaking there heads branding me a pessimist! Well, they would be correct, I’m just that!  Sadly it’s true but myself like many others have been made to feel this way when it comes to SEN & education. It’s my opinion that things will never be easy and we are used to battling for every thing our children need. I for one would be a little shocked to discover that I actually had some time on my hands to do other things instead of battling the system by way of phone calls, meetings, emailing, letter writing, campaigning and so on…  I really struggle to get my head around the idea that parents will be able to have an active part in the decision process surrounding their child’s provision & funding. We have to drag the local authority by the arse all the way to the tribunal just to get a little TA time or use of a laptop! So if this does plan out I for one will fill a little strange being suddenly heard and valued (Well, valued maybe pushing it a tad to far!).

Though some of the proposals look good on paper, I’ve been asking myself , “Are these just words being sugar-coated to look sweeter then they really are?” I mean, let’s not forget that the government are in the process of making huge cuts which will affect many of the services that have a role to play within this very paper. How will they be able to provide what is expected of them? Another important question to ask is, “How much are the Coalition planing to save through the implementation of the green paper?”

I’ve also been thinking about the legal side of things. Given the position I’m currently in (Advising parents on their appeal rights on LEAs sen decisions) I see a lot of re-training heading my way if the green paper is fully implemented. The law would need to under go a radical overview, with large areas, especially section 26 and 27 of the Ed act 96,  needing to be rewritten from scratch and the publication of a new code of practice.

But one of the biggest concerns for me is the proposal of a “single, multi-agency assessment” on the same day, rather than separate assessments on separate days. As much as I welcome a speeder assessment process then that of the current statutory assessment (10 week assessment, with the overall process from start to finish taking 26 weeks) but to propose just ‘one single assessment’ with the involvement of all professionals (and possibly even voluntary agencies) is quite honestly barbaric!

The paper has empathised that those children considered to have the most complex needs, will be the children assessed and issued with an education, health and social care plan, therefore how do they propose to assess a child with such complex needs in one single assessment? Children on the autism spectrum will be just one group of  many children who’s needs may be completely missed due to the child’s particular mood, environment, behaviour, anxiety , etc., on the chosen day of the assessment. I know that my own child would not cope with such an assessment, what with all them eyes on him and questions fired at him! What would it even involve? Are we talking about sending an autistic child (or any child for that matter) into a room with a large number of professionals sat with inquisitive prying eyes, clip boards, and a list of questions as long as their arm? If yes, I guess they can expect a shock at the response they get! It just isn’t going to happen… Surely complex means ‘COMPLEX!’ my definition of  such a word would be, “A complex issue or range of problems that take time to fully resolve” The government is forever banging on about children being placed on the sen register at the drop of a hat, well, I can see a situation being created leading to children dropping of it just as quick!  My son can just about cope with an assessment with one or two professional, any more then this rather than being chucked off the register, he will likely be labelled as a child who is dangerous because he will likely hit out as an attempt to escape the highly stressful situation that he has been placed in. Although I agree it’s not ideal him or any other child with sen having to undergo a range of assessments over a course of time, the one day method wont make things any better but a great deal worse!

Let’s be honest would you or I enjoy being sat in a room with a range of people staring at you like some caged animal reporting your every-more?

26 weeks is way too long but one day! Seriously there is no in-between with this government. I mean do the they really have the child’s best interest at heart?

We have to ask ourselves, has the green paper been created with the  ambition of improving the life chances open to children with sen, and  to offer better support for family members, or is it really their ambition to do away with essential services and provisions with little uproar, while at the same time attempting to reduce the number of  children that are placed on the SEN register?

It’s those children considered to have less complex needs that I’m  seriously worried for!  What defines less complex needs? I’ve spoken to many parents hundreds in-fact that have battled in the past  and present with both schools & local authorities to prove just how complex their child’s needs actually are! I know from past experience that schools won’t except this in-till your child is pushed to the point of self-destruction or has become a complete failure at everything due to the stress they have been placed under. Parents of children with Aspergers or high functioning autism find this to be the case a huge proportion of the time. School’s and LEAs say the same thing over and over again, “Your child isn’t an underachiever, therefore warrants no provision to be made for him/her!” Yet there they are whacking their heads against Walls with the frustration of the work load or noise levels in the classroom, they are always running into social difficulties, becoming isolated from their peers and even excluded on a daily/weekly  basis. It’s ludicrous!

By doing away with school action and school action plus I fear these children will suffer a great deal more than they are currently made too already! What with schools being able to commission the services and put the provision in place that these children are said to need, in this current financial climate is like playing with fire. Much more detail and reassurance is needed and although I know that we are once more welcome to give our views on the paper, I just feel given the length of delay in publishing the paper, including some finer details within in it as to make things a little clearer would have been most welcome!

Ministers have to give the public more information in regard to the finer details that make up the aspirations of the green paper. Including the legal aspects, cost (including how much this new system will put back in to the governments pocket in way of savings) and very importantly the statutory duties of those involve

To some parents this paper means nothing! To others it’s the prospect of a better further for their child in both the early years and that of early adult life. Making provision for children aged 0-25 in all areas of education, health and social care is long awaited. Will this be the start of something promising or just another unfulfilled promise by another Government?…. Only time will tell!

Social isolation

It seems that every post lately is full of doom and gloom!

I hope that 2011 brings with it lots of smiles, because lately we just aint seeing any!

I have decided that I may have to visit the GP and ask about getting little man signed off school for a while. It seems that for the last few months I have had to repetitively deliver disappointing news to little man! It’s always the same… “Sorry darling but you can’t take part in your school play” or “I’m really sorry, i tried but they won’t let you join the class for the christmas party!” I think you get the point!

I just can’t do this anymore! It’s heartbreaking informing your ten year old that he wont be joining his class again because his school state they can’t take that chance! It’s got to the point that he is punished for behaviours that haven’t occurred… But they assume that they might and to them that’s good enough. How do you explain this to a child on the spectrum? In all fairness, How do you explain this to ANY child?  You can’t!

It’s bad enough Little Man has missed so much time at school due to exclusions. His missed activities because his considered a liability, and now he misses Christmas (Well Christmas at school that is!)

It crushes him everytime…. And I never know how to answer the whys. If he isn’t sat crying himself to sleep, his angry, so angry that his throwing his whole body against brick walls. Things were so bad last month that he whacked his arm against the wall so many times it bleed. This wasn’t due to discovering he wasn’t attending a trip or taking part in a school activity, this was for a reason unknown, that I expect was a build up of emotions and anger due to the time he spends isolated in school.

Little man has spent something silly like six afternoons in his classroom since the beginning of October on returning from an exclusion! He is Isolated (spends time alone learning with TA) in the mornings and home in the afternoons (School wanted him isolated the whole day)

When I broke the news about the school party yesterday, he cried so much his eyes were sore. He didn’t kick, punch, destroy anything like he often has! I think he was to worn out to do so…. After all it’s happening all the time. I just sat thinking I honestly can’t do this anymore. His mental well-being & self esteem is deteriorating and I can’t sit back and willing watch it happen.

I’ve tried so hard to make him feel better by creating our own elf day, school trips and parties trying to compensate for the ones his missing. At first it did the trick but over time it just isn’t enough! He says it’s not the same! And I know it isn’t!

It’s sad seeing the disappointment plastered all over his face. He may have Aspergers but this don’t make him stupid and unable to see what is going on around him. I took him in to school on Monday morning and by the time I collected him at mid-day he was a mess! He had heard the other children outside singing christmas carols but was unable to join in. It was Elf Day and the children do christmas activities and crafts. His TA made a Santa decoration with him… But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the same, and no way was this inclusion. All the way home he keep asking why he couldn’t join his class!

I had a meeting that same afternoon. It was at this meeting the Head teacher and Senco told me they didn’t want little man returning to his class & that he wouldn’t be allowed to join them for the class Christmas party. Instead we were told they maybe able to organise for some of his peers to come out of class and spend time with him in the Den. My mother who was at the meeting was gob smacked! She made a valid point off…. This will only make him feel more “different” then he already does!

I have been informed by the Sen Caseworker that Little mans purposed statement is in the process of being drafted and should be with me sometime this week. I just hope that something has gone right and it’s been done to a high standard “No corners cut”  The school talked about little man returning to school in Jan 2011 given his not yet got a school placement in a “special school” There would be a change In TA and even more isolation. I just refuse to do it anymore. To be frank, If the doctor doesn’t sign him off… Looks like I will be taken to court for non school attendance. I’ve been there before and to be honest this time I will have a lot more to say!!!!

So that’s my decision and I’m sticking with it! Let’s just hope Little man gets the right school and the chance for happiness in 2011.. Resulting in post that are full of happiness for a change!

“Hidden”

A few weeks back I came across an article in the Guardian… Unruly pupils ‘hidden’ from Ofsted inspectors!

Was I surprised? This isn’t news! Well at least not to those parent’s of the “unruly child”

Headteachers are employing an arsenal of tricks to keep naughty pupils hidden from inspectors, MPs were told today.

Unruly children may be temporarily suspended before Ofsted teams arrive, or supply teachers brought in to cover “terrible” classes of disruptive pupils because inspectors are known to be unlikely to observe those lessons, the education select committee heard. As a result, witnesses claimed, inspectors underestimate the extent of bad behaviour. The Guardian 18,11,2010

I should count myself lucky as my son wasn’t part of the statistic… despite his constant exclusions and isolation! There was one occasion I thought little man had been excluded for the benefit of gaining that oh so great report! However it turned out to be normal everyday inspectors… Well that makes it Ok then!

Well this hit the headlines on the 18th November 2010, and at that time as mentioned above Little man had not yet been “hidden” But how things were about to change! On the 23rd November, just a few days after commenting on the article I received a letter…. Ofsted were coming to the little dudes school on the 26th and 27th of November.

I just knew, from the moment I saw that letter that my son would have yet another crawl exclusion or sprint in isolation.. Like some kind of caged animal. Little man had only just returned to the classroom in the afternoons and back into school on a full-time basis while awaiting the decision on a statement of Sen and a placement in an “autism specific school”

Monday when I had collected him from school he wasn’t waiting in the office as I was told he would be. Instead he was in the hall hiding under PE equipment. He had hidden there purely because he wished to finish school at the same time as his peers. Not aware of the time due to him leaving his watch indoors, he had got in his hiding place far to early, meaning he was sat down there for sometime all in an attempt to stay with his class that extra ten minutes.

Tuesday we visited Camhs. It was near on impossible to have a conversation with the Dr, Little mans anxiety levels were scoring and it was heart breaking to see him so distressed. However he went to school that afternoon and joined his all time favourite lesson… French! He seems to have a bit of a thing for the French teacher bless him. That afternoon he didn’t need to hide. He stayed till the end and left the classroom side by side with his peers. Little man had a smile so big it lit his face and in his hand he held a plastic trophy and a small packet of sweets, prizes he had won from the teacher.

Wednesday again little man wasn’t in the office but in his classroom. The bell had not yet gone so I walked down to his classroom and waited outside alongside the other parents. Did they even know who I was? It had felt like forever since I stood amongst them all. Lucky for me I knew one or two so chatted in till the bell went. I noticed that the teacher wasn’t somebody I had met before, but a supply teacher. I worried that maybe things hadn’t gone well, so went in for the kill and asked her outright. I was told that all though she had not been in the class the whole afternoon, he was Ok… Just a little swearing. While speaking to his friends (Partner in crime) father, his class teacher appeared. After telling little man that he was still recording his behaviour (little man was becoming impatient with waiting and was banging the back of his foot against the wall) I asked about his behaviour and was told that it was not perfect… However most of the afternoon that he was there it wasn’t to bad and he had even produced four pages of work. I’ve been told he isn’t on the gold card system anymore yet the teacher pointed out that little man had turned his card but not to red 🙂

When leaving the school with little man’s partner in crime and his father, before waving good-bye I said to his father that I could see one-off our boys, or even both of them being pulled from the class tomorrow.

With that I went home and emailed a few people stating my concerns about the Ofsted visit and how my gut was telling me little man was going to suffer.

6.45 pm having just finished a meal over at my mothers came the call I dreaded but whole heartedly expected. I was told that little man being in his class with his peers in the afternoons wasn’t working….. I was then told that the plan was to isolate him for the whole school day! Of course I wasn’t shocked but to say it was to do with the behaviour he was demonstrating in class was a joke!

The anger and sadness I felt was so intense! For once why couldn’t they have proven me wrong? Done the right thing by the child. The constant exclusions from school and trips/activities, the days spent isolated were too much. His transfer to a school that understands him and includes him could not come soon enough. Yes I will admit at that moment in time I hated the person on the other end of the phone. Yet hate is a strong word, looking at my child it was the right word…. I hated them so much for proving me right, for letting little man down as always and yes I still hate them now.

I wont go into details about what was and wasn’t said during that phone call. But what I will say is that in a roundabout way it was confirmed to me that my child’s presence in that class room would have an undesired effect on any inspection reports.

I’m not blasting the over all performance of the school, In my opinion there are a handful of teachers who are pleasant and teach to a high standard. Others simply don’t make the cut because when it comes to the educational and mental well-being of children such as little man, the ones who are seen as “different” from the children without Sen or a disability they just don’t care! Then their are the ones merely doing as they are instructed to by those above them.

Since this day my son has been staying at home or going into school half day (Just how they like it) His routine! What routine?

It’s the Christmas period and I have already mentioned in a recent phone call, if Little man is removed from Christmas activities then his staying at home. Im awaiting an appointment with the GP because when your child turns around and says, “Mum, it would have been better if I was never born” it’s clear that the school are having a huge impact on his self-esteem and chipping, flaking confidence.

Looking at little mans educational reports, it’s clear to see his school are more interested in the contents of this blog! If that is the case then how cold one must be to carry on this treatment towards my child. I will not stop writing this blog as it’s my escape and though his school have referred to it as some kind of “hate campaign” against them! It is not! Given little man received the treatment that every child deserves then they would read words of prise and gratitude. If this blog was about my daughter… A Girl Without Aspergers! It would be just that! Sadly it is not!

I just want to be “NORMAL” mum.

It breaks my heart when I see my son so broken. I feel that so much has happened so fast his cognitive and emotional state has suffered. His confidence is also hitting an all time low. Little man needs lots of assurance I look at him and see a ticking time bomb. At home he can seem just fine then something happens to knock him down and the bomb starts ticking again. No child should have to feel like they are not “Normal” nor should they have to try figure out what it is about them that contributes to them being excluded from everyday life. Does every Child still matter? Is inclusion just being pushed aside? Just because you can’t see autistic spectrum disorders don’t mean they are not there! Every time a child gets left behind so does a bit of their ever flaking confidence. I myself would find the guilt intolerable if I contributed this. The more acceptance and understanding from society the less a parent gets told by their child ‘I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL MUM.’

What I want and need to say to my child

Little man…..

..From the moment I discovered you where there I knew you would be special with many gifts and talents to share. I couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms and meet the little boy I had created. I would spend hours a day thinking about you, what you looked like and the person you would become. You were about to make me a grown up. Yes, I was young at just 18 but I was determined to be the best possible mother to you in every way. I had already done so much so young and had not long returned from working and living in Greece. I had a fantastic time and if it wasn’t for your dad I may off just gone back. Just knowing something this amazing was taking place right inside of my tummy was a breath of fresh air. Your great nanny Peg had just left for heaven and I could not see a way through something so painful you gave me the strength to carry on. Its like Nan had left leaving a new beginning in place of the one we had just lost. You were already more than just an unborn child. I loved you from the moment I discovered I was carrying you. Already you had changed something inside me I felt stronger than ever, you made it Ok to smile again. I felt extremely lucky and still do.

Four days overdue on the 1st October 2000 you proved you liked things done differently when you decided that it was time to let the plug out the bath so to speak . Yes, as I waddled like an over weight penguin around the supermarket it really wasn’t exactly the best of timing. Little man your dad ran away with embarrassment as he was convinced mummy had peed in her pants. Needless to say I was more than grateful to be out of there and safely in the comfort of the delivery room. 6.05 pm without a sound you were born. YOU SOMEHOW DECIDED LABOUR WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO CHILL OUT IN THERE!! SO WE REQUIRED A LITTLE HELP. I was stunned at just how relaxed you were. With lots of red hair weight of 7 lb. 1 oz and a who the hell are you? Expression on your face you were handed to me and I held you for the very first time. You looked at me as if you knew all about me I remember thinking wow I’m now responsible for this little person! That and Wow where did you get all that red hair from? It was then I promised you I would always keep you safe and never let anything happen to you.

It’s rather comical! As I write this you laid stretched out on my bed. Your legs are so long your feet almost reach the end of the bed. It’s been another long night and when you eventually fell asleep on my bed at 3 am why sitting up discussing 194 bus doors I thought it was probably best leaving you there. Thing is you’re not that little 7 lb. baby anymore your almost ten years old. At first glance most would say you’re an average ten-year old but get to know you things will undoubtedly change. Average you certainly are not. You are so much more than that. YOU’RE MY INCREDIBLY CLEVER, TALENTED TEN YEAR OLD WHO CAN TELL YOU THE ROUTE OF ANY LONDON BUS. I’m so proud of you and I say all the above because its true and I hope that despite everything and everyone you know that! Now and always. Little man be proud of who you are the people who care will like you regardless of how you speak, what you wear, or how intelligent you are. Don’t fall behind in school to fit in, dumbing yourself down is heartrending. Express your interest without fear and those that are not understanding can just disappear. Show what your good at poems & numbers. If something hurts or isn’t right don’t run away its Ok to ask for help. Be proud of yourself because you are special. Don’t ever feel ashamed, those that don’t like it can ultimately lump it.

At the same time try to be considerate to others feelings counting to ten before saying something that maybe true but hurtful too. If your anxious walk away and find somewhere quite but safe. Please don’t hit others or yourself 😦 If you’re feeling like you’re not coping or you feel upset please tell me somehow something is wrong.

When you came home from school and said you wanted to be normal I didn’t know what to say. I know I should have responded straight away and I’m sorry I didn’t. This was only because I was upset that things were getting so bad for you I hope that I explained it to you in a way that made sense for you. It was as if I somehow felt I had failed you by not protecting you like I promised. But the truth is I can never protect you from life. Sadly life is often difficult but then when its good it’s fantastic. As for wanting to be Normal nobody is “Normal” Who came up with the term and who are they to suggest what is and isn’t “Normal” we are all individuals with a certain degree of uniqueness. If we were all the same life would be boring. The only difference for your uniqueness is yours has a name and like I’ve said before that name isn’t silly nor is it a name that defines you. Aspergers don’t make you who you are you make Aspergers what it is.

WHAT IS IT?………..

………..IT’S JUST A BOY LIKE EVERY OTHER BOY BUT WITH A LITTLE EXTRA MAGIC.

Its ignorance that’s shameful not you, not Asperger’s! I won’t lie the probability that in life you will sometimes feel you are excluded from society is almost a certainty. But never think this is because you are not “Normal” never sit and ask yourself why! It’s societies lost. One day they will wish that they had taken the opportunity to embrace and learn about The boy with Aspergers but by then it’s to late because his now the man with Aspergers who never looked back.

I love you so much little man and through I know you find things stressful and can get angry or aggressive I know a lot of the time your anxiety levels are just to high. I’m so proud of you for giving it your all and trying to reduce certain behaviours at home. Your aggressive behaviour towards your sister is improving and that’s all down to you. I hope that in time things improve at school and everyone gets to see you for the bright star you are.

A MESSAGE TO SCHOOL TO KICK OFF THIS AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH!

April is a fantastic month! Not only is it the month I was born but it’s also Autism awareness month. And today the 2nd April is a huge day for those affected and touched by autism! As today is World Autism awareness day. As many will know I love to pack the blog full of fantastic features through April. This year will be no exception. But this year I wish to kick off the month by doing something different. Many of us will kick off world Autism Day by sending a message to the world in relation to a loved one or friend In the hope of creating Awareness. Well this year I’m doing things a little different! My World Autism message goes out to little mans schools.

Hello school so glad you could join us in raising awareness for autism. First all I feel It’s important to clear things up! I understand my blog is upsetting for you and it’s causing some stress! Well I’m very sorry it wasn’t meant like that! This is my space, it’s a place I come to write about my life with little man. The blog is written from my point of view. I write about many different areas that surround our lives as a family. I’m very sorry to say school happens to be one of them. I’m not setting out to hurt anybody. I started this blog back when I first discovered it was likely little man was on the autism spectrum. I can not begin to express how hard that was for us. With little support and hard times a head I started posting my experiences good & bad. If you look back over the last year and a half maybe you will begin to see that this is about US not YOU. Yes the school is mentioned a fair bit! But school is a big part of little mans live and I wont leave it out. I’m glad you visit the blog why not see it as feedback from a parent instead of a personal attack? This blog has helped me to connect with others, it’s opened doors to support I would never of known was out there. It’s also helped me gain confidence to voice my opinions and be able speak up for the things I believe in. I’m sorry to say it’s not always about school ( Thank God! ) but at this moment in time much of it has been. I’m not happy about this but it happening! I just want to remind you that this is my blog, it’s not a statement or an official government document it’s just a blog. My aim remains the same, To raise awareness for Autism. And as a parent to a child on the spectrum I’m sorry to say it will never change. My children are my life and I will speak out for each and every one of them. However I wish to state that I’m pleased your concerns have been brought to me as I have a greater understanding as to why you have been treating me in such a way. I do wish to say sorry to anybody that have found themselves stressed or upset through reading of this blog. It is not targeted at anyone other than the world as a whole. I’m just doing what millions off others do every single day writing a blog! so I’m sorry to say that I will carry on with my story in the hope that it shines a more positive light! If it upsets you, I suggest ( Not in a rude way ) that you reframe from visiting. The comment box is there for all to use so you are more than welcome to share future concerns.

I thank you school for your understanding and hope you and I can work together as one to better little mans education. After all that’s whats important.

To everybody else I look forward to raising awareness a long side you in the hope of bringing change for our children and anyone else who needs it ( Lets not forget when children with Asd grow to be adults they tend to like to speak for their self ) Lets not forget whats important here! It’s not the people with autism that need changing or fixing, It’s the way society see them that needs to change. Stop trying to solve something that isn’t s problem or fix something that isn’t broken. Instead embrace something that is beautiful.

REINTEGRATION INTERVIEW

It’s Monday 22nd March, Little man is on his last day of exclusion from school. This means that at 2.45 pm today a reintegration interview/meeting  at the school will take place. I can’t Wait!

Yes I am willing the day to go faster, 2.45 pm can’t come quick enough! I have been trying to get a hold of this Head teacher since we left school Thursday afternoon. For those who haven’t read my latest post little man was not only excluded for the second time in two weeks but he had also been restrained and humiliated. No I was not informed that restraint was used on my son, Why I don’t know as I had just stood and spoke to the Head teacher and nothing was said. I spent most of the day with my hand and ear stuck to my mobile. I wasn’t getting anywhere and when I collected my daughter Alice I was again told that yep his busy!

Come Friday despite taking and collecting my daughter from school I still haven’t seen the Head teacher. I knew he was lying when he wrote on the exclusion letter that Little man had been throwing playground equipment ( DANGEROUSLY I MUST ADD ) Why had he not given me this reason when I had collected him from school? Surely you would tell the parent the child was excluded for the most serious reason! Well I would have my answers pretty soon.

2.45 pm Me and little man are at the school. The Head teacher calls us into the office where I turn to see the Senco sat with her pen and paper to hand. Didn’t expect her to be there but was pleased it meant both could hear what I had to say! This was an important meeting for me, I considered this to be my opportunity to express my concerns and I wanted an explanation in regards to the restraining of my child. The Head was acting anxious but also a tad rude. This wasn’t unusual but something just felt funny. He repetitively said now we must be quick. He kept looking at his watch and was displaying a certain awkwardness. We had only just got through the office door yet he was rushing. I knew what was happening here! It was becoming more apparent that he was worried that little man had told me about being restrained. Either this or the man was just acting like a dysfunctional human being! He said that the meeting was to make sure we all understood that little man was to return to school in the morning and what would be happening in regards to little man rejoining his peers, And if little man understood why he was excluded. Bull!!! It was my understanding that the purpose to the reintegration interview was to discuss maters concerning the reasons surrounding exclusion, Whats been put in place in the way of provisions to help prevent misbehaviour and exclusion. Reach agreement on how the child’s education should continue, how best they can reintegrate and lastly explore wider issues and circumstances that maybe affecting childs behaviour! So as for the whole rush, rush thing I really couldn’t see it happening. I was to collect my daughter  from the infants at 3.25 pm and I was planing on being here till then. The Head told little man he would need to be here for the first part and then wait in the reception area why I spoke to him. Little man rolled his eyes crossed his arms and told him in kind of aggressive manner “WHAT EVER LIAR” The Senco turned to me in away to say are you going to address this rudeness. Reason I knew this was because of a pervious incident where little man had used bad language and swore as he walked through the doors when I had collected him early from senco’s office ( He was ongoing internal exclusion at this time ) Other parents stood waiting for their children to come out. I just wanted to get my daughter and get out of there before the upper bell went. I Removed little man away from everyone and as we walked around the side of the school to collect Alice I told him that his inappropriate use of language hadn’t gone unheard and words would be had once home. Well as I walked towards the gates Senco called after me in order to address my parenting skills! Hell yer I had steam shooting out of my ears and now little man was shouting abusive language at her as he ordered her not to bully his mum. I was appalled  That she had acted in this way. After all his behaviour at home was not longer an issue! Maybe teaching skills needed to be analyzed. Oh well I could now address the matter! I should not have to explain what strategies I have in place to manage little mans behaviour but I wanted to. I explained that in removing little man away from the situation and then addressing his unwanted behaviour was my approach that I had inforced over the last few months and it was now working nicely. I explained that by doing this little man would not have a meltdown in front off the other children and parents! And as the Head had put him on internal exclusion for misbehaviour at the end of the school day which was witnessed by parents and children then I felt it best to avoid a repeat of this unwanted behaviour! After all I was here collecting him early as the Head teacher wanted Little man off the school premises before his peers.

Once I had got that of my chest we carried on with the matter in hand. Little man had written something ( What he called complaints! ) He asked to read out what he had written! The Head teacher didn’t seem very impressed but what choice did he have. This was a 9-year-old child who wished to state his case.  However I myself was a little worried reason being was I hadn’t yet seen his five pages of complaints and as most may already know little man liked to tell it how it is. To use the word blunt would be an understatement. I also wondered GOD HOW MANY SWEAR WORDS HAS HE WROTE IN THAT! Well I was to be surprised! Not one, Not a single swear word. His wording was formal and in no way rude! It made me almost cry but also made me want to get up and kill um!! How dare they treat my child like this! He was my son and they were treating him as if he was worthless. As he read out loud the Head and the Senco looked shocked! And not at any given time did the Head teacher defend nor correct little man on what he read! Instead they sat silently with mouths wide open and expressions of worry spread across their faces.

The first issue little man rose was why didn’t you tell mum you grabbed me? Why didn’t you tell mum that you carried me? Why did you lie and tell mum I throw playground equipment? With this I butted in asking little man if he did throw anything. As you can guess he said no explaining that their wasn’t any playground equipment to throw! Turning to the head I ask the same question. Once he manages to get his words out he tells me that yes there is these little green and red things that he can’t remember the name off. With this the Senco butts in and tries to help him with his fiction! Sadly they both ended up looking like a pair of big nose fibers. Little man was shouting Liar, Liar and shaking his head. I could think of a better name to call them but remained from doing so as hard as it was. Then I asked if himself and TA had grabbed and carried little man to the office. Again after a struggle with  his speech he tells me yes but followed the restraints guidelines with in schools restraints policy. I asked if little man was throwing the so-called playground equipment at the time. He told me no he was running and swearing! Little man told how the TA grabbed him and the Head teacher laughed and said good job I will get his legs. He went on to explain that as he was carried through the playground he felt humiliated and worried about getting hurt! He also asked why he never had lunchtime like his class peers, Why he was given one 2 one at lunch only for it to be removed as punishment. He told how he felt angry because they made his mum cry and lastly he expressed that exclusion made him feel hated. You can only imagine how angry I was! I looked at them both and waited for one of them to explain or give answers, after all these were questions he wanted answering. Many of his sentences finished and started with the word WHY? Still their failure to offer explanation said it all. Little man picked up his rucksack and walked to the door in order to sit in reception and wait for me to finish. On leaving he told the Head teacher to keep the sheets of paper that he had left on the table! He would need to read them so he could see what needed doing to make the school better because it’s really S**t right now! Ops there it is! I knew a swear word would have to be expressed sometime soon.

When Little man had left I stated my concerns not only for my son’s education but wellbeing. I let it be known that restraining my child or any of my children was not allowed! I asked why he had not informed me of the restraint incident after all I had collected little man from school as he was excluded. Himself and the TA in question were in the office with little man when I had arrived. He told me he was sorry he must have forgotten. Is this man who is paid to look after my child for six hours a day under the illusion that his explanation is in any way good enough? My expression must have said it all as he went on to tell me that he will be sure to in future! Is this man trying to get me on assault charges? I was very close to introducing him to my left foot. I repeated that there wouldn’t be a next time.  Other concerns I raised were his use of exclusions. He had a lot to say on this matter! He had well and truly found his tongue. He almost sounded aggressive as he defended his actions. I asked if there were more constructive forms of punishment? After all my child was on the autism spectrum he needed structure and routine. It had taken so long to get this far and now it was as if it didn’t matter. There were no accommodations made for little man the provision that was in place had only been there a few months some days even. When I spoke in addition to his unofficial exclusions The head kept asking whats My point? He wouldn’t let me finish in order for me to reach the point! Instead he continued gruelling me. He asked me to give him the definition of  unofficial exclusion. Was this a test to see if I had done my homework on the laws surrounding exclusion and education? Did he also want me to point out the inadmissible evidence I had to prove his incompetence in being a respectable Head teacher? Further more did he want me to do it in front of the Senco? By using the term UNOFFICIAL I meant that on two occasions you have asked me to collect little man from school and chosen to not document this as an exclusion! Therefore this is considered to be unlawful. Wow he was shaking his head like the Churchill dog. He told me I had misunderstood! He wanted me to come in and help little man work but as I had the baby ( Yes my son 2 months old at the time ) I said it would not be possible! With this I asked to take him home. Not that I doubted my son in any way what so ever but the head teacher had just given me a fantastic insight into how capable this man was of telling lies. He was not only capable but also seemed to do it with ease. The Senco I must add never sat quite this whole time it was just that I found what she had to say to be compleat rubbish it was clear she was licking his butt and by doing so I perceived her to be as much a liar as he was. I stated that no matter what! He was the Head teacher and he let little man go home therefore it was his decision to do so making it illegal. We discussed internal exclusions which he also lied about when I brought to his attention that giving little man an internal exclusion that takes place in a special needs unit, room or other was also wrong as it had to be seen as a punishment. He had to stop using provisions as punishments and treats. It’s disgusting! He wasn’t getting one 2 one in class but was while on internal exclusion.

Much more was discussed but as you can see if this post gets any longer I could find myself in trouble with the blog police. So to round things up! Meeting went well, I learned that no matter what authority will always stick together. I asked to see incident sheet on the restraint and control that took place on the 18th March. I have also asked for access to his educational records within 15 school days, I want to see school polices on restraint and behaviour! My god he quotes them a lot. The big meeting will take place at school on the 29th. I will ask to record the meeting and someone will attend with me. I’m hoping that all professionals I have requested to attend will do so but I don’t hold my breath. Lastly Little man was meant to return to school the day after this meeting Tuesday 23rd March. This didn’t happen due to little man being up all night finally settling at 4am. I consider him to now be anxious about school then again who can blame him?

EXCLUSION TWICE IN 2 WEEKS.

I’m so disappointed, upset and angry that I found myself writing this.

Little man has now been excluded for the second time in 2 weeks. It’s outrageous that a pupil on the autism spectrum and with educational needs is being treated in such a disgraceful manner. It is now in my opinion that this is discrimination only problem is proving it.

Reasons given for his exclusion  as stated in letter from the Head teacher.

• Being foul and abusive to both children and adults.
• Being severely disruptive in class
• upsetting children.
• Dangerously throwing playground equipment about.
• Refusing to follow instructions from a range of adults of adults.

The exclusion will be for the fixed period of 2.5 days commencing from Thursday 18th March and ending on Tuesday 23rd March. During this time it is my responsibility to make sure little man doesn’t enter onto school premises ( hard considering he has a younger sister I need to take and collect from school ) I am also not allowed to be seen to have him in any public place during school hours. Regardless of his exclusion if found to be in a public place with or without me I could face the prospect of a £50 fine. What a disgrace. Not only must my son miss important education but also remain on house arrest why doing so! Then their is me. Am I supposed to put my life on hold with every exclusion? Do they forget that I’m a mother of not one child but indeed three. My youngest is just three months old. Clinic appointments are a must.

I felt that when I arrived to collect little man the Head teacher failed to discuss his reasons for exclusion in a reasonable manner. I found the conversation to be rushed and unsympathetic. Understanding is needed that way better behaviour management techniques can be used resulting in little man remaining in school. I’m the mother of a child that is expressing unwanted behaviour in school and the staff within school lack understanding and due to this I feel as if I can’t make plans or go to far in case I am needed to collect little man if these problems arise. Then once home I’m then expected to stay in doors in the fear of being fined. Where is the right in this? You can a least have the decency to look at me, and not rush a conversation that I find important. This is my son’s education and your not taking it serious! I told the Head teacher who at the time had a TA with him that I would expect the reasons for exclusion in a letter by the end of the school day. He had already briefly told me ( leaving out the dangerously throwing playground equipment out ) but I understood this to be my right and his obligation as a head teacher. I didn’t want to take chances with this school given the past.  The Head teacher had also had me collect little man on two other occasions. I wasn’t aware of mine and little mans rights at the time and being upset with the situation I just did what I felt was expected of me. It was after contacting ACE that I discovered It was illegal to send little man home without pursuing the relevant regulations. It turns out this was called unofficial exclusion. Regardless of parent consent it was still not lawful. This made me feel like he had taken advantage given that he knew I didn’t know the laws surrounding exclusions. It was this incident that pushed me into educating myself on the guidance on exclusions and the SEN code of practice. I also started reading the laws regarding disability rights.

When we left little man told me what had happened. He said he was to miss some off morning break and half hour of lunch break. For being rude to a member of staff the previous day. Didn’t they see removing him from breaks as punishment was not working. The unwanted behaviour he was showing was getting worse not better. It was my feeling that inclusion within school wasn’t happening. I felt it to be more for the benefit of playground assistants due to them not being able to cope with challenging behaviour. This to me is a form of discrimination it has to be. The decision to remove him from breaks and class was something that was happening on a daily basis. It was easy to see that he seriously struggled to cope with unstructured time. presumably due to difficulties with sensory overload, his environment, frustrations with lack of order. It’s clear to see that intervention is needed to assess his needs and work on discovering what triggers his challenging behaviour. Strategies are then needed to help avoid meltdowns before they have occurred.

But this was not it! The worse was still to come. Little man explained that when he stopped  running way he was speaking to the Head teacher who was ordering him to go to his office when a TA run up behind him and grabbed him. The Head said good job as he took his legs and they both carried him from the busy playground to the Head teachers office. He said he felt silly as the children laughed. He waved at them as he was carried as he didn’t want them to think he was sad. But he was sad and he was scared that if he tried to get away they may hold him tighter and he would get hurt. He said he told the Head and TA once in the office that mum would be cross as they grabbed him. Apparently little man was given a shocking response when he replied WELL GIOVANNI YOU LIKE TELLING STORIES. Now can you imagine my anger.This was emotional abuse. I was appalled that a pupil Aspergers or NT could be treated in such a disgusting way. I phoned to be told he was at lunch. I continued calling with no success. When I collected the letter at the end of the day he was still unavailable. The avoidance just made me more upset. Then when I saw that one of the listed reasons was dangerously throwing playground equipment. I knew they were attempting to cover themselves. Little man admitted to all listed reasons for exclusion but this one he strongly deny. I also remember that when I collected little man from school this was not a reason that the Head had listed to me in our conversation. It was pretty easy to remember this given that the conversation was short, rude and unhelpful. Even if he had thrown things in the playground why restrain and carry him to the office when he was stood speaking with the Head I see no danger there! And secondly why have you chosen to not tell me about it?

I am still waiting to hear from the Head. It looks like my concerns will have to wait till we meet on Monday to discuss little mans return to school. In the meantime I have emailed and written to the LEA, Educational Welfare Officer, Governing body, Exclusion officer.

I also plan on contacting local newspaper and radio. The sooner the LEA make a decision as to  whether  a statutory assessment is needed the better. Provisions need to be put into place in order for little man to receive the educational  and emotional support he needs. If this means moving him to a school better suited to his needs then well be it.