Tag Archives: Holiday
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#silentsunday – Butlins Style

7 Apr

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A Quick Hello From Sunny Bognor

4 Apr

As a Butlins Ambassador I’m currently enjoying an Easter Half Term mid-week break at their Bognor Regis Resort. Myself, the three children, my mum and a friend are staying in the lovely new hotel the “Wave” and are really enjoying our experience so far.

When I come back I’m planning to write up a review in which I will share our thoughts on all aspects of our break. I will also be sure to share my thoughts on the services offered for those families off a child with a disability such as autism or Aspergers.

What I will say now is that Little Man is coping with the changes reasonably well and we are managing to have a good time despite the odd mini meltdown.

I’ll leave you with a few pictures for now… Enjoy!

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20 ways to make summer a less stressful time for the child with Aspergers

19 Jun

Summer activities with a child on the autism spectrum can become something of a wash out, something many families dread. But who wants to spend an entire six week school holiday stuck in the house fearful of going out.

All children need entertaining, boredom is something that never goes down well in anyone’s book and although I’ve done the whole staying In doors thing In the hope it saves me from the public meltdown, I’ve moved on from this, there really is no point in hiding away and not dealing with situations head on.

Summer is much harder when siblings are involved, there’s places they want to go, ones you know the child with Aspergers just can’t cope with. But as a parent you want your children to be able to experience the things they want to, building a set of awesome memories throughout the way.But as a parent you don’t want any of your children distressed and unhappy.

I am lucky in the fact that I can sometimes leave little man with his father while taking the other two children out for the day and vis versa but there are times I don’t have this option and therefore need to weigh up the pros and cons.

Below I have included some ideas that may help you have a reasonably good school summer holidays, but remember every child is different and what may work for some won’t work for others.

1) Many children on the spectrum are not great with overly hot temperatures so try to visit local parks etc in the late afternoon early evening. This way all the children can enjoy the trip to the park.

2) Avoid massive crowds unless you are visiting a facility that caters for your child’s needs. Most theme parks do a wristband that means your can skip the queues and avoid sensory overload and meltdowns.

3) Cinemas are now doing autism friendly screenings which means all children can see the latest film release and no one is left disappointed this summer.

4) Try to have a least one day out where the activities are focused around your child’s special interests. My son likes transport so a visit to the transport museum always goes down well. If siblings are attending spilt the day into two doing something they want to do first (I say first as yes your child is likely to ask when are we leaving and going to the transport museum for example, but if they go to the transport museum first they have nothing left to look forward to and may not cooperate as liked.

5) To avoid boredom on the days your not going out, set up a schedule of fun activities in the garden. All children can get involved. Have some sensory play in the sandpit, burn some energy on the trampoline and why not have some fun sensory play in the paddling pool. This is perfect as your child has the option of coming inside when it all gets to much and other children can continue to play and have fun.

6) If like mine, your child is a fussy eater and wont eat anything that is A) packed in a cool bag and B) isn’t hot, than picnics are not really a suitable family activity. Instead of having children miss out completely why not opt for a disposable barbecue instead. This way the children get the experience of eating outside in the sunshine without any tears.

7) If going out for the day to the park or beach a potable pop up sun tent is a must. These can be brought at a reasonably good price and is a haven for the child who becomes overly sensitive to the heat.

8) As much as I love to do things on a whim I no longer get this option. Checkout what’s happening this summer, plan a scudule and try to stick to it. This way your child knows what activities and visits/days out are happening on each day.

9) The above is essential when going on holiday. This is likely easier in places like holiday camps etc as you can adapte there scudule to suit that of your own and your children can easily express what activities interest them.

10) Another great thing about holiday camps is the supervised activities meaning your other children can still go of and have fun even if the activities are not to the child on the spectrums liking.

11) If going on long car/train journeys over the summer break, bring something to entertain your child, an iPod, iPad, potable DVD player, book or handheld game console (a must for all children).

12) Try to keep bedtime routines the same (as much as possible). This avoids problems when the holidays come to an end and your child returns to school.

13) Talk your Aspergers child through any activities planed for the summer, especially new ones. Try to do this well in advance. Show your children pictures of the places you plan to visit or check it out on there website if they have one.

14) Give your child choices, letting them feel they have a certain amount of control over planed activities. Many children with Aspergers need to feel a certain amount of control.

15) Don’t overload your child, ensure there are free days at home where your child can relax even if the day is scheduled.

16) If going on holiday take your child’s blanket and pillow to make sleeping easier.

17) Expect difficult days and try your best to prepare for them. Lack of routine will always make things harder for the child with Aspergers Syndrome.

18) Educational play is a good way of keeping your youngsters brain busy during the summer. This is great for the child who doesn’t like homework as they tend to learn without even knowing it.

19) Use the summer months as a time to help your child build on their independence skills.

20) When a parent becomes stressed this has an undesirable effect on the child with Aspergers. If your finding the summer months difficult try to talk to other parents in the same situation. There are many online support groups and forums for parents of children with autism.

#HAWMC DAY 14 – A Little piece of paradise

16 Apr

The morning air is warm, the ocean breeze causes me to catch my breath…

The clear white sand glistens like millions of tiny crystals as its hit by the suns bright glare.

 I close my eyes only and listen to the light sweeping motion of the calm ocean waves that lay before me. It’s still early and the sound of a dolphins echo is the only voice to greet me.

 I drown myself in this moment, capturing my surroundings, storing the memory like a postcard.

 I spent the day as if I’m floating in nothingness, drifting in and out of a peaceful sleep I wake to drink freshly squeezed lemonade, so cold it cause my brain to freeze.

 A million miles away from my home, I desperately miss the presence of my children but I’ll return a new women, recharged and ready for anything the world has to throw at me. 

 I’m not selfish, I’m human! We all require a break from time to time, some space to declutter a frazzled mind, recharge one’s batteries. This I’m sure will make me a better mother.

 Yes, I could choose to spend an hour sat reading in Greenwich park, though given the choice, I’d much rather opt to chill out in the Maldives!

 Hay… A girls entitled to dream right?

image via google images 

Post 14/30 of the Health Activist Writing Month Challenge (#HAWMC) set by Wego Health.

A Christmas party- Mummy blogger style

17 Dec

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DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Well, it’s a whole week since the Tots100 Christmas party at Butlin’s (where does the time go)? So… I thought it was about time I shared with you all the positives of our family trip, my overall thoughts on the Butlin’s resort located in West Sussex’s Bognor Regis, plus fill you in on all the gossip from the Tots100 Christmas meal & afternoons festive activities.

 Some of you may have read my last post which mainly focused on my sons difficulties in his inability to adapt to the new surroundings, he was therefore unable to settle during the break and as a result he became quite challenging. It didn’t seem right, nor fair to write about my overall experience at Butlin’s or my thoughts and documentation on the Tots100 Christmas party! Basically that was a real negative post and to mix the two just wouldn’t have worked, nonetheless I had to write it, clear my head, move on and hopefully  learn from it! 

 On a lighter note, we were incredibly lucky to be given the chance to go to Butlin’s especially during such a festive period! It was the Christmas fantasy weekend and as a result there was a great deal going on. As the Tots100 party was being held at the Butlin’s resort, attendees were given an awesome deal on a weekend stay in one of its two lovely hotels, and what’s more the family could come along too (something I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to afford to do at this expensive time of year). 

 We got booked to stay at the Ocean hotel which has beautiful views over looking the sea front. Now I have been to the Bognor resort before but this was some years back and the first hotel was just in the process of being built. It had changed somewhat and seemed that bit classier (if you know what I mean). 

 I don’t know what I expected in terms of the hotel, what with it being part of the resort as I’ve only every stayed in the apartments on pervious visits. We didn’t arrive on the resort till gone 11pm Friday night, as we approached the entrance to the hotel, my somewhat whining tired children suddenly become wide eyed and excited. Harley absolutely loved the Snowmen that line the walkway into the hotel and spent most of the weekend saying, “Look Snowman” every time we passed them. 

 The Ocean was fabulous what with its Disco lifts and magical lighting… Yes, you may think it sounds a little tacky but it really wasn’t, it was far from it in fact! The Ocean really did have all the makings of a top hotel that catered for both Children and adults, what with it’s beautiful spa and restaurant, you could even hire games and DVDs from reception. Little man did love the lighting in the room, it was really calming and would actually be great in any sensory room. As you lay in the bath the lights above the bath would slowly change from one colour to the next, one minute you were bathing in a heavenly red tub, then the next you were soaking in a blue lagoon. Little man was so drawn by this feature that for once he was the first person in the tub (seriously I normally have to carry him and force him in the bath kicking and screaming, so this was a welcomed change). We also had the same mood lighting above the bed which looked extremely impressive. 

 There was loads to do, so much I only wished we had more time (well if the Little man wasn’t so challenging that is)! Sadly we didn’t get to go swimming and this did result in a few tears. Little man had in fact forgotten his trunks but a trip into town via a little train that ran along the sea front fixed that problem (the town is just a 10 minute walk from resort if you don’t fancy the little train) sadly by the time we arrived at the swimming baths known as ‘Splash Waterworld’ It was closing, I must admit I did expect it stay open a little later then it did. 

 There was still lots more to do and discover, Harley even enjoyed his second birthday on site with friends such as Barney and Baby Bop, Fireman Sam, Pingu and his all time favourite ‘Bob the builder’ Yes, it was a little tots idea of paradise. 

 The fact it was Christmas fantasy weekend made it all the more special! Children could meet Santa in his magical wonderland, get up close to real reindeers, have their pictures taken in an oversized snow globe and meet Bojorn the huge white mechanical Polar Bear. 

 There were shows throughout the day right through till the end of the evening. By day tiny tots could enjoy the puppet shows in the skyline and families could watch Panto together at centre stage. In the evening we enjoyed tribute acts such as Lady Gaga who was so good Little man couldn’t get over the fact it wasn’t actually her and all the children seemed to enjoy the Abba sing along and once it that was all over Little man and his sister had fun making the odd request to the DJ and getting her to wish their baby brother a very happy 2nd Birthday, which I thought was really sweet. If that was enough Centre Stage also has a pretty funky show shop where you can buy everything from bubble blasting guns, flashing necklaces, funky coloured wigs, fairy wings and glow bracelets (just checkout the photos below, as you can see my daughter was really feeling the dressing up vibe). 

 Saturday was the day of the Tots100 Christmas party, it was broken down into two sessions, which worked well for me because of the children. First you had a festive afternoon of mince pies, mulled wine and some fun festive activities and later in the evening it was drinks at a cocktail bar before heading of to Butlin’s newest restaurant Tuner’s a more finer dinning option. 

 The Christmas party was a bloggers only occasion which meant no Little one’s (Thank goodness, as I can’t imagine what my fellow bloggers would have made of the Little man’s mood). First it was planned that their father would accompany us to Butlins but he feel ill which meant I got to invite my very Lovely friend Donna to join us, who thankfully being such a close friend has experienced one or two of Little man’s worse meltdowns to date. Regardless, I was still worried that while gone they may somehow go to far maybe leave her hanging upside down from a Christmas tree or something! 

 Of course I was a tad late for the afternoon’s fun, Little man was practically hanging from my ankles begging me not to go and in no uncertain terms telling me how selfish I was for leaving, while Harley was so over tired he was throwing his own wobbler. Alice-Sara, my daughter however seemed quite relaxed in terms of she didn’t bat an eye lid as I left, just sat chilling in the kids den watching some children’s television show. Once there I was greeted by the lovely Sally Whittle writer of ‘Who’s the mummy‘ and the lovely lady behind the Mad blog awards, had planed the whole thing for us load of mummy bloggers. Sally is a woman who I owe a lot of thank you’s to, she really does some pretty special stuff and along with the Mad blog awards has now given me two great memories to grow old with. 

 Once inside I joined a team who had just started decorating a christmas tree, the challenge… to use your imagination and create a spectacularly decorated tree with the use of shop brought decorations alongside craft materials which would require us to think outside the box. Competing against four other teams we had just one hour and I’m pleased to say we won 🙂 even if the shoe blogger did pinch wrapped gifts from around another teams tree, to which Karen from all about the boys gave us all a good telling off for:)

 Before the evenings dinner it was back to the hotel for a few hours (in which I was pleased to discovered my friend was thankful still alive) before getting changed in to something a little more glam and heading back out again, while my friend took the children to see a show. 

 I first joined my fellow bloggers for one or two cocktails that I must add where scummy, then it was off to Tuners to eat. There were 36 of us in all, 35 mummy bloggers and one daddy blogger all taking up too long rows of tables, I got to sit with Lou from bloggomy who I got to meet for the first time at the Mad blog awards and it was lovely to catch up over a glass of white and a festive feast. 

 Tuners opened it’s doors in 2011 and is named after the famous chef Brain tuner who helped create the restaurant which is advertised as affordable fine dinning. The restaurant boast some top chefs such as Nigel Davis (formerly of the ivy) cooking its six course Christmas dinner. 

 I really did have an enjoyable evening though I really did feel a little sad at not being able to join some of the bloggers such as the lovely Romanian mum, who went on for drinks and dancing after the meal! Sadly with my children, I really did need to get back and save my friend from any meltdowns or sibling punch ups.

 All in all despite my stress and parenting dilemmas while at Butlin’s, I really am pleased I went and will definitely be going again…. Someday! 

NEVER EVER AGAIN

14 Dec

This is the post where I try to explain why I never want to take my child with Aspergers on holiday ever again.

 Most of you will know me as the mother who is first to state that, ‘Just because a child is on the autism spectrum, doesn’t mean they should not be given the opportunity to enjoy life’s pleasures such as day trips and holidays’ I stand by this, really I do!

 Now, I will try my best to put into words what I can only describe as one of the hardest, emotional draining and tiring, three days of my entire life.

 This past weekend saw me on the edge of a breakdown as myself, good friend Donna and three children (Little Man aka A boy with Aspergers, Alice-Sara & Harley) embanked on a mini weekend Christmas break at Butlin’s Bognor Regis.

 I had been extremely lucky to be invited to the tots100 Christmas party which meant an awesome deal on accommodation and presented me with the opportunity to also bring along the family. I will talk more about the Tots100 Christmas party and Butlin’s itself in another post, right now I need to get this out my system!

 It’s never easy taking Little man on days out and its even harder trying to embark on any type of Holiday no matter how short or long it maybe. The change and the anxiety mixed with the unknown often brings about havoc, and if you have ever read any of my post relating to such event’s you will already know this (remember the camping trip or even the day trip to Chessington)? 

 Nonetheless, when stating like many do “Never again” I somehow never really mean it and with passing time I find myself trying to do it all over again! Why? Because his my son and I don’t want to leave him behind!

 Despite things starting reasonably well (his delight over the funky hotel lighting which was a sensory pleasure was most welcome) things soon turned sour and within an hour or so all hell had broke loose.

 OK, Ok, I half expected this! After all we have just arrived, everything is different and a mix of both anxiety and excitement fills the air. 

 After a soak in the bath, just before heading to bed he started to argue with his sister. I know arguments between siblings are the norm with most children, but these really are over the top, Little man becomes far to angry and loses his temper rapidly. Worse still his now able to throw an almighty punch. On trying to break up yet another blow up that had become somewhat out of hand, Little man thought he would also hit out at me, not only punching but kicking me too. His not a baby anymore and his growing which I guess kind of worries me if I think about it!

 No, this isn’t good, I don’t show him that I’m frighten of him, I’m actually not, I’m just worried that one day he will go that bit too far!

I don’t like having to restrain my own son but it did have to be done before he hurt himself or somebody else, it was then he spat in my face and then laughed inappropriately. 

 The fact that his violence stopped and I thought we were over this hurdle makes this so much harder.

 After lots of tears Little man finally slept and I convinced myself that as the days went on things would get better, however they didn’t and despite trying to structure all the activities his need to control everything and everyone around him was just too much. Yes, I know things are hard for him, but there were stages of that holiday that I felt like running away especially when he carried on hitting out at me leading me to seek first aid for what was a suspected broken finger (I had pointed at him and he had hurt my fingers so bad I had no choice but to get them strapped up). This was the last day and in all honesty I was so thankful it was. By now I had cried till my eyes were sore and seriously felt like smacking my own head repetitively against the wall. 

 Harley also spent the best part of his second birthday amongst meltdowns and my pleads for a little respect and if anything a five-minute break. I know many people will think, “It’s hard for him too” Believe me I know that, of course I do! I didn’t care about the disapproving stares as Little man hauled abuse at me, I did however feel terrible for the children stood in ear shoot of his language. There was even one episode that resulted in me having to leg it out of a local fish restaurant leaving my poor friend with three kids, one who wasn’t in the friendliest of moods. 

I sat on a bench looking at the sea and really felt like I couldn’t return and carry on with this job called “Parenting”. I left a message on my Facebook page which read, “I don’t think I can cope with Little man’s behaviour anymore” and at that moment in time, I really did feel this way.

 My friend said something to me as we sat talking in the hotel once the children were finally sleeping, she said “I can honestly say I have never seen Little man 100% happy unless his indoors” I thought about this and realised just how right my friend was.

 Once we did finally return home, a lot later than expected following unexpected car trouble (the word unexpected is not one little man favourites) I noticed how his mood calmed! Yes, he fights with his sister in the comfort of our home and yes he can still be abusive, but as I sat watching him cuddling his younger sister watching the end of Eastenders (yes, cuddling, the cheek of them, I know) I realised that in-order to parent and parent Little man well, It needs to be at home (well, at home meaning not on holiday)! I’m not stating I’m NEVER TAKING HIM ON HOLIDAY AGAIN! Though I did state this more than 1000 times during the course of the weekend, I’m just stating that for now, and in-till there are clear signs of improvement in this type of challenging behaviour and yes, my ways in coping and dealing with it, I will not be booking any family holidays in the near future… and that my friends is a ‘FACT’!

Preparing my child with Aspergers for our family festive break

8 Dec

17

Days till Christmas

We’re off to Butlin’s this weekend and are all rather excited about it.

 However, it’s really not a case of “just up and leaving” for us! Well, I suppose it isn’t for anyone really, but for us such a trip means extensive preparation.

 Little man is looking forward to the trip, however he has many concerns, things that for most add to the excitement of a holiday!

English: Skyline Pavilion, Butlin's, near...

Image via Wikipedia

 Little man wants to know, how everything will plan out! Just how will we get there; how long will it take; how long does each and every activity last; what are the bedrooms like; what do they use to clean the pool; does the hotel smell of bleach, will there be a shower?

 OK, OK… Most kids ask questions but for Little man it’s not just a question but a real concern!

 When it comes to days out we need to ensure good preparation has played its part, otherwise Little man will suffer and the entire family will pay dearly. The truth is, I’m unsure why god considered me the “Right” person to mother a child on the autism spectrum! Organisation has never been my strong point! Well, when it comes to actually getting somewhere on time, I’m the worst ever! Seriously no matter what I do, something always seems to happen… always!

 We went camping back in July and absolutely nothing went to plan. It was extremely hard work and at certain points of the holiday I did have to stop and ask myself why I was actually putting myself through this. Yes, that may sound selfish and maybe a thousand adults on the spectrum reading this will now jump on my back! I know it isn’t easy for the Little man either, but at the time when his having an almighty meltdown in the tent at 2am, I did ask myself why!

 I always come up with the same answer! His my son, and just because he has Aspergers doesn’t mean he should miss the experiences that all children are entitled to. As a family, we are all entitled to a holiday and as hard as this may be, I’m determined to keep on trying! It’s my belief, the more we do these things, the better Little man is able to deal with them. It’s not that he don’t want to go on holiday’s or have day’s out, if this was the case then of course I wouldn’t push him, the fact he does want to engage in such activities, no matter how hard these things become it gives me that nudge to keep trying.

Camping wasn’t ideal for a child on the spectrum, especially camping at a festival, to be honest, it was the most unstructured place to take a holiday and as much as he now declares his a big camping fan, I would need to be thinking long and hard before embanking on such an adventure again.

 Now, we have been Butlin’s before! Little man was around 5 and this was prior to his diagnosis. Nevertheless things went surprisingly OK. I know his that bit older and yes, things do tend to unfold quicker and normally in a bigger more explosive way, but considering how structured Butlin’s can be I think it may actually be a really good place for a family consisting of a child with Aspergers to take a break.

 Well, we’re leaving on Friday, after school so it really is upon us.

 Here’s what I have done in preparation so far.

 We are staying in the Butlins hotel and I’ve checked with facilities are in our room (tv, shower, single or bunk beds etc.)

English: Ocean Hotel - Bognor, near to Felpham...

Image via Wikipedia

 Packed his clothing separately from ours, making sure they have been tumble dried for maximum softness.

 Made sure I’ve packed him entertainment for the journey (Lego, books etc)

 Downloaded the Butlin’s iphone app which has the full weekends entertainment, including opening times of certain activities, shows, the weekend line-up and any additional special bookable extras. Also includes a Map which is a bonus as Little man is driven mad when we get lost.

 As we haven’t been for sometime (I last went about 6 years ago) I’ve been speaking to some mummy bloggers on twitter who have been telling me what we can expect (What to avoid and what not to miss) I’d like to personally thank @TiredmummyofTwo who very considerately contacted me to ask if there was anything I wanted to ask as she was aware of my situation (please note, this isn’t someone who works for Butlins just a fellow blogger) I really am grateful that she took the time to contact me and offer that bit of support (it really is the little things that touch a person’s heart)

OK…  I’ve planed transport

 As the children’s father is now unable to attend, I’m now taking a friend who knows little man really well and is as good as family. This is important as on the Saturday I’m at the Tots100 Christmas party and my friend will take care of the children (a great mate)

 Trying to plan Sunday as-well as I possibly can as it’s Harley’s second birthday and little man can find other people’s birthdays difficult at the best of times.

 Making sure Little man knows exactly how many days in-till we leave and the times in-which we are leaving.

 Plus a host of other things that are actually rather jumbled in my head right now!

 Oh… and you better believe it! I have spent so long worrying about the Little man, plus ensuring all three children’s belongings are packed that I haven’t even thought about what I’m taking! That means packing when his at school today!

I can’t wait till everything is sorted so myself, friend and the children can look forward to our festive break which is promised to be filled with Christmas Cheer.

So… Wish me luck people! I’ll have the Mac so let’s hope that the holiday update is just that, “An Update” and a happy one at that, avoiding a festive holiday “Rant!”

We’re planning a break away

9 Nov
A poster announcing Storm and The Hurricanes a...

Image via Wikipedia

I recently got invited to the Tots100 Christmas party for bloggers on the 10 th December which will be held at Butlins Bognor Regis during the Christmas Fantasy weekend and I can’t wait to see some of my fellow blogging friends again.

As we have been offered discounted hotel accommodation I’ve decided to make a weekend of it and the children will be accompanying me to Butlins, much to their delight.

It will be an extra special weekend as my youngest Harley will be 2 years old on the 11 th of December so he will be spending his Birthday at Butlins amongst some of his favourite people, Bob the builder being one of them (his one time true hero… His Bob bonkers).

 

 We will be doing lots of planning prior to the weekend because of course the Little man himself will be joining us. His quite excited about staying in a hotel, bless him but we will still need to ensure his fully prepared for the event of leaving home for the weekend.

I feel confident that all three children will have a great time. We have taken Little man and his sister to Butlins before, of course this was before Harley came along. He loved all the structured activities and he adored all the exciting shows over at the centre stage. Nonetheless I will still do everything to ensure all goes smoothly and this includes the choice of travel to the holiday site.

I find this is where issues arise. Little man is a massive fan of transport and his adamant that we take a coach, where I’d rather we jumped on the train, a coach will take double the time and it could spark some boredom within him and the last thing we need is a couple of rowing siblings, and that’s what tends to happen when Little man and his sister become bored.

Another thing I will need to consider carefully is the sleeping arrangements. Little man may not do well sleeping in a strange room, we have only just got him sleeping in his own room, which is a whole other post. Plus the prospect of him sharing with his sister may be a little too much to expect.

We are quite lucky some children with Asperger’s cannot cope one bit when it comes to day trips or weekends away, Little man can get a little anxious at what to expect but tends to adjust well, especially when in the company of family

 There is one thing I can promise the Little man wont be doing while at Butlins… Visiting Santa! Hell no, Little man has the tendency to ask the man with the white beard

how much he gets paid for humouring small children!

He doesn’t believe in Santa one Little bit!

 December looks set to be an awesome month for the children, what with Harley’s 2nd Birthday, a trip to Butlins and Christmas there will be lots of excitement in my house that’s for such.

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