Tag Archives: GP

Shutting Down

22 May

I’ve been pretty silent, I know! Its not like me, not to blog for long periods of time, but these past few weeks have been different! I’ve actually been completely out the loop when it comes to social networking, my tweets have been few and far between and Facebook has been left unvisited.

I’m not to busy, I won’t lie! I’m not on holiday or having some girly time someplace fun. I’m at home, in pyjamas on the sofa mostly.

In my everyday life, my social commitments have suffered too. I’m not spending much time with friends, I’m not even answering my mobile or home phone when somebody calls. Its actually really stupid but I haven’t been able to complete the smallest of tasks. I dread having to do almost anything.

That’s how I knew…. The signs are all there, ones I’ve experienced before making them so apparent this time! Depression… I was depressed and knew I had to do something about it, and do so fast. But that was just it… I was lacking any get up and go which meant that the prospect of visiting a doctor or even booking an appointment to see one was all to much to bare.

Thankfully, I’m starting to feel myself again and though it will take some time to get on top of it all, I’ve started and that’s the hardest bit done.

So, why was she depressed, you may ask? Many assume its the pressures of parenting a child on the autism spectrum but for me that’s a little bit of a cop out. I’ve been parenting little man for almost 13 years. Since the age of 18 its been my life. I’ve since had two more children and being a mother to all three of my children has brought great joy into my life. Yes, when little man is refusing to get up from his bed or even leave the house of a morning I do feel a tad close to breaking point, but guess what? Its not made me depressed… I don’t think it has anyway!

The truth is, life can be a bit full on somedays and when all your problems collide that’s when things go a bit tits up. I can’t put my finger on just one thing and say its this whats caused this depressive period. That’s impossible!

With deadlines looming for reviews and guest post, I just shut off. This blog and that of my other were left at times for days without a post. With my hair thinning at age 31 years and my doctor telling me it was down to stress I just had to let go a little and remember what it was like to be me again.

I love blogging, that much I’m sure off. I just wanted to take a little me time in order to remember that.

So here’s to the continuation of blogging… Here’s to me smiling again.

Oh, and before I drop off, a message for the world! “If you ever feel like your slipping into a black hole of depression then act quickly to nip it in the bud! Many of us are not visiting our GPs, mainly due to the stigma associated with depression! Just remember its an illness and lucky enough its a fixable one too! To be the best we possible can we need to feel our best… Fact!

Today I maybe blogging from a prison cell

2 Jul

Yep, I may well be a jail bird blogging from my cell (well, that’s if I’m actually given access to a computer that is)!

It’s 3 am and I haven’t slept a wink, I’m busy preparing my defence case (representing myself). This afternoon I’ll be of to court where I will need to prove that I didn’t intentionally keep my daughter home from school on the days she was sick.

I’ve been prosecuted twice before in relation to my sons school attendance. I was found guilty of section 444(1) failing to secure his attendance at school. I was found guilty because having a child with Aspergers who wasn’t receiving appropriate support causing him to develop school phobia and emotional behavioural problems, didn’t come within the statutory guidelines needed for them to allow me to walk with my head held high.

Statutory guidelines (“excuses”) only cover a handful of reasons for non attendance! These include illness, religion, travelling, and a few others that don’t cover incidents such a mental health, bullying and all those other reasons we find our children refusing to attend school, therefore creating a war zone come 8:50 am in the morning.

Such behaviour meant my daughters attendance struggled. However this was mainly lateness which gave her an unauthorised mark against her name (yes she was in but if the register was called she was given a half day absence against her name) When you have mornings like ours these marks tend to add up quickly!

Regardless of the above, once little man began attending his special school things slowly got back on track. Alice was given a little independence when I allowed her to walk the 2 minute walk down the hill to school.

With this things improved, I thought that with Little man in a new school I would have less to worry about. Sadly I was wrong.

If any of you have read the blog long enough you will already understand the struggles I had to get my son to school, a place that could not meet his SEN needs leaving him somewhat school phobic. My daughter suffered, what with being made late for school when big brother was hitting and spitting at mum. The fact the household received very little sleep because Little man doesn’t frankly believe in the five letter word is just another contributing factor.

When I was in court last, my mobile vibrated as the judge was speaking. When they retired I checked my phone only to discover a message from the Head teacher informing me Little man was yet again excluded, this time for 5 days. The head teacher was meant to be at court but instead had provided them with the information requested claiming he had meetings! I wasn’t found guilty of the more serious charge 444(1A) (which basically means the school were stating I had no intention on sending them into school… Yer right! I could actually do with the break.) However, I did receive a fine for the lesser charge of 444(1). Basically I couldn’t say he was sick on each of those days. He had received so many exclusions that these were now starting to confuse me. I’d spent so long trying to get him into a routine and now it was being wrecked. Ok, they couldn’t find me guilty on these days but they could of those that followed, the ones where he refused to attend, kicking and screaming.

The above made me so angry as I was fighting for a statement and having my child excluded every week didn’t help. I was also in the process of a claim against the school for discrimination which I won (settled out of court).

I eventually got my son out of the mainstream school and into an independent special school. There was however a period of time when he was educated in a library because the LEA would not agree to my school yet no state school would take him.

So, where does Alice fit in? Well, despite her improvement in getting there on time and therefore attending as she should, during the months of October through to January her attendance dropped. This was due to a reoccurring sickness bug which the school kept sending her home for. Then in January she had a very bad water infection that saw her on medication and close to hospitalisation. All days were covered. I had sent notes in, explained via email or visited the school in person.

They deny this! As a result I am being taken to court as my daughters attendance was recorded to have dropped to 80% with no reason given!

It would seem that the school have failed to log my letters or just chosen to ignore them. After all its up to them to authorise.

Lucky for me I requested her education records and obtained copies of some of these letters. Others were missing. Emails and records on verbal conversations have vanished as if they never existed.

I refused to plead guilty. My daughters attendance is near on 90% as it stands. I feel victimised by the school and LEA due to past difficulties.

The school state that a child must remain home if physically sick for a period of 48 hours. Nonetheless, when abiding by these policies, Alice receives an unfair mark against her name.

Now… I can’t just call up and get an emergency appointment with the GP because Alice is being sick. In the eyes of a GP an emergency this isn’t. There is nothing they can give her for sickness, So… it’s a waste of their time. We just keep her hydrated and comfortable.The thing is she may be sick the night before and just fine in the morning, yet when I tell staff she has been sick (purely because it wouldn’t be fair not to) we are sent jogging!

Shockingly, it also seems that despite her bad urine infection which I provided medical evidence in order to cover ourselves for, school still have it down as “N” in their attendance records which basically means “No reason given” what’s worse is that I called them, wrote to them and sent an email! Worse still, on one of these days she was actually sent home!

Under the freedom of information and data protection acts I was able to gain access to my daughters educational records, requesting things I wanted copied. Yes I was pleased to discover some of the items I needed to form my case were sat there right under my nose. Yet, I was also sadden to discover others were not (which worries me).

Within a few minutes of being given my daughters records I made the most horrific discovery! I was left sitting in a pool of tears as I tried to collect my thoughts. Ive decided to write this in another post… Why? Because in just a few hours I’ll be heading to court and I know writing about what’s worrying me will only make me feel worse… Basically it’s something I’ve put to the back of my mind because I need to focus on my court hearing.

I will therefore return when time permits.

So, I best go jump in the tub and get ready for yet another long winded court case where I’m sadly the defendant who abided by a schools policy and got her arss kicked for doing so.

Heres hoping I’m not gonna be made a jail bird… Here’s hoping I’ll be home tomorrow with my kids, blogging where I should be.

20120703-113623.jpgphoto credit google images

Social isolation

15 Dec

It seems that every post lately is full of doom and gloom!

I hope that 2011 brings with it lots of smiles, because lately we just aint seeing any!

I have decided that I may have to visit the GP and ask about getting little man signed off school for a while. It seems that for the last few months I have had to repetitively deliver disappointing news to little man! It’s always the same… “Sorry darling but you can’t take part in your school play” or “I’m really sorry, i tried but they won’t let you join the class for the christmas party!” I think you get the point!

I just can’t do this anymore! It’s heartbreaking informing your ten year old that he wont be joining his class again because his school state they can’t take that chance! It’s got to the point that he is punished for behaviours that haven’t occurred… But they assume that they might and to them that’s good enough. How do you explain this to a child on the spectrum? In all fairness, How do you explain this to ANY child?  You can’t!

It’s bad enough Little Man has missed so much time at school due to exclusions. His missed activities because his considered a liability, and now he misses Christmas (Well Christmas at school that is!)

It crushes him everytime…. And I never know how to answer the whys. If he isn’t sat crying himself to sleep, his angry, so angry that his throwing his whole body against brick walls. Things were so bad last month that he whacked his arm against the wall so many times it bleed. This wasn’t due to discovering he wasn’t attending a trip or taking part in a school activity, this was for a reason unknown, that I expect was a build up of emotions and anger due to the time he spends isolated in school.

Little man has spent something silly like six afternoons in his classroom since the beginning of October on returning from an exclusion! He is Isolated (spends time alone learning with TA) in the mornings and home in the afternoons (School wanted him isolated the whole day)

When I broke the news about the school party yesterday, he cried so much his eyes were sore. He didn’t kick, punch, destroy anything like he often has! I think he was to worn out to do so…. After all it’s happening all the time. I just sat thinking I honestly can’t do this anymore. His mental well-being & self esteem is deteriorating and I can’t sit back and willing watch it happen.

I’ve tried so hard to make him feel better by creating our own elf day, school trips and parties trying to compensate for the ones his missing. At first it did the trick but over time it just isn’t enough! He says it’s not the same! And I know it isn’t!

It’s sad seeing the disappointment plastered all over his face. He may have Aspergers but this don’t make him stupid and unable to see what is going on around him. I took him in to school on Monday morning and by the time I collected him at mid-day he was a mess! He had heard the other children outside singing christmas carols but was unable to join in. It was Elf Day and the children do christmas activities and crafts. His TA made a Santa decoration with him… But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the same, and no way was this inclusion. All the way home he keep asking why he couldn’t join his class!

I had a meeting that same afternoon. It was at this meeting the Head teacher and Senco told me they didn’t want little man returning to his class & that he wouldn’t be allowed to join them for the class Christmas party. Instead we were told they maybe able to organise for some of his peers to come out of class and spend time with him in the Den. My mother who was at the meeting was gob smacked! She made a valid point off…. This will only make him feel more “different” then he already does!

I have been informed by the Sen Caseworker that Little mans purposed statement is in the process of being drafted and should be with me sometime this week. I just hope that something has gone right and it’s been done to a high standard “No corners cut”  The school talked about little man returning to school in Jan 2011 given his not yet got a school placement in a “special school” There would be a change In TA and even more isolation. I just refuse to do it anymore. To be frank, If the doctor doesn’t sign him off… Looks like I will be taken to court for non school attendance. I’ve been there before and to be honest this time I will have a lot more to say!!!!

So that’s my decision and I’m sticking with it! Let’s just hope Little man gets the right school and the chance for happiness in 2011.. Resulting in post that are full of happiness for a change!

Melatonin update.

3 Apr

MELATONIN, HOW IT’S WORKING FOR US!

It’s been a good few months now that little man has been taking Melatonin for his sleeping problems. Is it helping? Hell yer! 

I was very against little man taking any medications what so ever. But his sleeping problems were well lets say heading to dangerous levels. After speaking with the doctor that was dealing with little mans case, and hearing the pros’s and con’s of the medication we decided Melation was the best step forward for us. Given the fact Melatonin is a natural product I felt this was a good option to take. 

I remember writing my first blog post a few months back about our first few nights and then weeks with little man on the treatment. After some ups and downs, sleep walking and talking things seemed to be going great. Now a few months on things are getting better and better. The thing is with this medication there is no miracles. Once the tablet is taken the effects will wear off after an hour to an hour and  a half. If your child does not settle by this period there is a pretty great chance they can or will over ride it’s effects. Yes this has happened once, maybe twice with us but on the whole little man gives in to the sleep that he so badly craves. 

I can not Begin to express my feeling’s to the way I felt when G slept his first whole nights sleep in god only knows how long. It wasn’t that I was so happy to not be having a bedtime battle, more so that I was so happy to see my son getting something his body so badly needed SLEEP. I can honestly say I have seen a lot of improvements in little man. LET’S GET ON THING STRAIGHT! MELATONIN IS FOR HIS SLEEPING ISSUES NOT HIS ASPERGER’S, EVEN THOUGH HIS ASPERGERS MAY BE THE CAUSE OF HIS SLEEPING PROBLEMS! What I am saying is yes G still has sensory problems, obsessive interest and so on, but he also has better attention, more energy and is not so snappy. All this is thanks to a good nights sleep. A good nights sleep is something all children and adults need ASD or not. We all would find it extremely difficult to function given nights of little sleep or no sleep what so ever.

So yes Melatonin is working for us. If your are thinking of putting your child on Melatonin then speak to your GP it may be right for little man but everyone is different. If you are saturated in the UK like myself this Medication is only available from your doctor via a prescription.

Getting a diagnosis

10 Dec

Are you worried that your child or someone you know has Aspergers. There are many sites on the web that offer help on getting a diagnosis. Please note that this is not an easy process. Be prepared a  for long wait.

discuss your concerns with your GP or if it is a child you are concerned about you could speak to his or her school. They may have a educational psychologist that could help.

The best way to avoid a long wait would be to chose the most costly option which is to go private. There is a great organisation which goes under the name of Oaasis. They offer a great deal of  information and support on all things AD. And if you are thinking on taking the private route this organisation really can help. To contact Oaasis you can phone them on there free number 0800 902 0732 or visit there web site at www.oaasis.co.uk.

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