EXCLUSION TWICE IN 2 WEEKS.

I’m so disappointed, upset and angry that I found myself writing this.

Little man has now been excluded for the second time in 2 weeks. It’s outrageous that a pupil on the autism spectrum and with educational needs is being treated in such a disgraceful manner. It is now in my opinion that this is discrimination only problem is proving it.

Reasons given for his exclusion  as stated in letter from the Head teacher.

• Being foul and abusive to both children and adults.
• Being severely disruptive in class
• upsetting children.
• Dangerously throwing playground equipment about.
• Refusing to follow instructions from a range of adults of adults.

The exclusion will be for the fixed period of 2.5 days commencing from Thursday 18th March and ending on Tuesday 23rd March. During this time it is my responsibility to make sure little man doesn’t enter onto school premises ( hard considering he has a younger sister I need to take and collect from school ) I am also not allowed to be seen to have him in any public place during school hours. Regardless of his exclusion if found to be in a public place with or without me I could face the prospect of a £50 fine. What a disgrace. Not only must my son miss important education but also remain on house arrest why doing so! Then their is me. Am I supposed to put my life on hold with every exclusion? Do they forget that I’m a mother of not one child but indeed three. My youngest is just three months old. Clinic appointments are a must.

I felt that when I arrived to collect little man the Head teacher failed to discuss his reasons for exclusion in a reasonable manner. I found the conversation to be rushed and unsympathetic. Understanding is needed that way better behaviour management techniques can be used resulting in little man remaining in school. I’m the mother of a child that is expressing unwanted behaviour in school and the staff within school lack understanding and due to this I feel as if I can’t make plans or go to far in case I am needed to collect little man if these problems arise. Then once home I’m then expected to stay in doors in the fear of being fined. Where is the right in this? You can a least have the decency to look at me, and not rush a conversation that I find important. This is my son’s education and your not taking it serious! I told the Head teacher who at the time had a TA with him that I would expect the reasons for exclusion in a letter by the end of the school day. He had already briefly told me ( leaving out the dangerously throwing playground equipment out ) but I understood this to be my right and his obligation as a head teacher. I didn’t want to take chances with this school given the past.  The Head teacher had also had me collect little man on two other occasions. I wasn’t aware of mine and little mans rights at the time and being upset with the situation I just did what I felt was expected of me. It was after contacting ACE that I discovered It was illegal to send little man home without pursuing the relevant regulations. It turns out this was called unofficial exclusion. Regardless of parent consent it was still not lawful. This made me feel like he had taken advantage given that he knew I didn’t know the laws surrounding exclusions. It was this incident that pushed me into educating myself on the guidance on exclusions and the SEN code of practice. I also started reading the laws regarding disability rights.

When we left little man told me what had happened. He said he was to miss some off morning break and half hour of lunch break. For being rude to a member of staff the previous day. Didn’t they see removing him from breaks as punishment was not working. The unwanted behaviour he was showing was getting worse not better. It was my feeling that inclusion within school wasn’t happening. I felt it to be more for the benefit of playground assistants due to them not being able to cope with challenging behaviour. This to me is a form of discrimination it has to be. The decision to remove him from breaks and class was something that was happening on a daily basis. It was easy to see that he seriously struggled to cope with unstructured time. presumably due to difficulties with sensory overload, his environment, frustrations with lack of order. It’s clear to see that intervention is needed to assess his needs and work on discovering what triggers his challenging behaviour. Strategies are then needed to help avoid meltdowns before they have occurred.

But this was not it! The worse was still to come. Little man explained that when he stopped  running way he was speaking to the Head teacher who was ordering him to go to his office when a TA run up behind him and grabbed him. The Head said good job as he took his legs and they both carried him from the busy playground to the Head teachers office. He said he felt silly as the children laughed. He waved at them as he was carried as he didn’t want them to think he was sad. But he was sad and he was scared that if he tried to get away they may hold him tighter and he would get hurt. He said he told the Head and TA once in the office that mum would be cross as they grabbed him. Apparently little man was given a shocking response when he replied WELL GIOVANNI YOU LIKE TELLING STORIES. Now can you imagine my anger.This was emotional abuse. I was appalled that a pupil Aspergers or NT could be treated in such a disgusting way. I phoned to be told he was at lunch. I continued calling with no success. When I collected the letter at the end of the day he was still unavailable. The avoidance just made me more upset. Then when I saw that one of the listed reasons was dangerously throwing playground equipment. I knew they were attempting to cover themselves. Little man admitted to all listed reasons for exclusion but this one he strongly deny. I also remember that when I collected little man from school this was not a reason that the Head had listed to me in our conversation. It was pretty easy to remember this given that the conversation was short, rude and unhelpful. Even if he had thrown things in the playground why restrain and carry him to the office when he was stood speaking with the Head I see no danger there! And secondly why have you chosen to not tell me about it?

I am still waiting to hear from the Head. It looks like my concerns will have to wait till we meet on Monday to discuss little mans return to school. In the meantime I have emailed and written to the LEA, Educational Welfare Officer, Governing body, Exclusion officer.

I also plan on contacting local newspaper and radio. The sooner the LEA make a decision as to  whether  a statutory assessment is needed the better. Provisions need to be put into place in order for little man to receive the educational  and emotional support he needs. If this means moving him to a school better suited to his needs then well be it.

RISK OF PERMANENT EXCLUSION

If you have been reading the blog lately you probably know about little man getting excluded from school.

Well it gets worse If that’s even possible! He was excluded on Wednesday the 3rd March at 1 pm and was back at school on the 5th March. The exclusion was for a fixed period of 1.5 days. Well it was 8.30 am Friday morning and I was getting little man and his sister ready for school. I was getting a little worried that it would be hard for little man to settle back into his school routine but was very keen for him to get right back in there and give it a go. Little man seemed pretty keen to which was a blessing as refusing to attend had been a past problem. Just then my mobile goes It’s the school receptionist. She tells me the Head teacher wants me to bring little man in at 9.20 am as we have to meet and discuss what happens next. Well he goes back to school and gets himself on of those things called an education! surely that’s what’s next. 9.20 am is 25 minutes after the bell and if little man was going in at 9.20 am so was his sister!! We arrived and was greeted by the Head teacher. “Giovanni can you tell me the reasons you were excluded from school ?”  Little man looks at the floor and says ” YOU EXCLUDED ME! YOU SHOULD KNOW! I don’t think it was the answer the head was looking for as he asked the question another couple of times with little man firing the same answer back. “SO WE ARE NOT READY TO ATTEND CLASS THEN GIOVANNI ?” YOU MUST WANT TO WORK IN THE OFFICE WITH ME ?”  Little man shook his head. “Well if you can’t talk to me and give me the reason you think you were excluded maybe it’s best if you do” Hang on! The Head teacher had asked and he answered. You can’t keep taking him out of his class he needs his routine. If there is a problem in class removing him wont help in the long run. They must be able to see this by now. I expressed this and a number of other concerns before waving him off and setting off home.

I was scared to go anywhere. I would normally use this time to go and get the food shopping as it’s hard work with little man, his sister and my baby! But I was worried my mobile would ring and it would be them and I would not be able to get in to collect him right away! Or maybe I would have to leave the shopping and run. My mother who lives around the corner from me and his school would be working I’m sure! In case I gave mum a ring on her mobile in the hope she had finished and was at home. Not only was she still working but she gave me a good talking to. She was angry that I would put of doing day-to-day stuff in case they called. If they called then they would have to wait! I see her point I knew this but I still didn’t want to plan much just in case. 12.30 pm  I notice I have a missed call. Crap are my fears confirmed? I call back just waiting for the bad news. Phew the receptionist told me it was regarding little mans packed lunch It had gone missing from the trolley. This isn’t a first! They had given him a school dinner instead. He was having sausages and ice cream ( Not together I hope ) She tells me he isn’t really eating it but hey his giving it ago. I put down the phone and I remember thinking God how on earth is he coping with all them children making all that noise when using  cutlery! He can not stand the sound of the cutlery scraping on the plate, he says it makes him fuzzy and he freaks out if Alice ever does it at home he will flip out and most of the time this resulted in Alice getting hit.  Well there was no point in worrying so went about my day in the hope he was doing ok. I did my shopping and was pleased that I had done so without a single call 🙂  But once home I heard the dreaded Ring ring ! OH MY GOD! IT’S THEM! This time my heart was in my mouth. Whats happened I shouted down the phone like a mad mother. “Me and the Head have been discussing our options in terms of outreach support for Giovanni. We have contacted Brent knoll autism outreach team. This is a services that will offer… I butted in “I know I know I have read about them and I am also interested in their school so I know their services” “Well Ms Parkinson, this is not a free service and we will be funding it and you need to sign the paper work once it has come in. By the way the call was from Mrs Jeffery’s the schools SENCO! And I like the way they found it important to inform me that it wasn’t free! Cheeky gits!!! However this was fantastic news I was over the moon and felt positive for the first time in ages. I told her in a relieved voice that seeing the school number come up on my phone always made me panic. I have taken two calls from them today and with both heart attacks were in easy reach. She made a little noise that kinda sounded like a quick giggle. She said his had a few minor upsets but all is good. Wow I had less than an hour till home time seems his gonna make the day and I’m sure once Brent knoll are involved things will plan out.

It had been a few hours that the children had been home from school. Giovanni and Alice were sitting eating their tea at 6.15 pm when the phone rings. It’s the school Head teacher wanting a word. I roll my eyes and settle on the sofa in preparation for an ear burning frustrating conversation. And this is exactly what I got!  I’m sorry but Giovanni’s behaviour was so bad today that he may need to be put on a longer if not a permanent exclusion! Lucky I was sitting or I would have likely been falling. How can you go from a 1.5 day exclusion to a permanent one?? At 2pm he was fine a few upsets she said but nothing to worry about. That was a lie!!  The head says he has minor issues in morning but by lunch his out of control. His left the lunch hall a monster. I try to explain his been in that dinner hall trying to cope with his sensory processing  but he goes on to say no it was from lunch till home time. Yer! Point! How does that make a difference ? is this man crazy  don’t he understand anything surrounding ASD. Whats the permanent exclusion all about then? The Head teacher goes on to tell me that at home time he run around the deputy head with his fist together like a boxer and taunted her shouting come on come on you wanna fight, I’ve seen him do it hundreds of times he does it in a playful manner he kinda makes me laugh when his at it because his facial expressions really get me. I’m sure he was doing it in a playful manner. “No it was a threat that I can’t over look”.

He wanted him in on Monday at 9.15am and for me to collect him 15 min before his peers at home time. He would not be joining his class or even seeing them as he was to remain with the SENCO in her office all day apart from a one hour 1 2 1 he would have with a TA. He was even to eat lunch in the office. This was to be an In school exclusion. I checked it out and it can be done. I picked up on a few of their mistakes why dealing with this matter and contacted ACE who are great. Will have to share them mistakes another time as to many eyes around for me. I collected him from school after having been on this type of exclusion for three days  and once out the gate he burst into floods of tears. “I just wanna go to school and run about in the playgrounds I wanna see my teacher and be in class like everyone else.  It broke my heart and with this I promised him no more! If the Head Teacher don’t have Listen then it looks like home will be the safest place to be. I know this is what they want me to do but my main concern is for my childs welfare.

I have since contacted the LEA and told them about the possible permanent exclusion in the hope they assess sooner not later. I have also contacted ACE ( they sent the exclusion ace manual ) Parents in partnership, MP, Educational welfare officer, ISPA, and other autism support groups.

I just hope we sort it before it is too late and I’m home schooling a 9 yr old with a 3 month old baby to look after. Then dropping and collecting Alice from school twice a day. All this until a placement is found. Surly they see that this is best avoided. Yes I want him out of your school! But he needs another school placement to replace the one his leaving. permanent exclusion is not the right way to go about it.

Never give up on the fight! The future seems bright.

OMG did anyone read my latest post to little to late? Well things have moved a long a little more! To be honest I’m still in shock, I’m happy, relived and also a little worried and skeptical!

Reasons for all the above is this evening at 5.30 pm I received a call from little mans deputy head. She rang to inform me that little man would be spending time out of class tomorrow. He was on a red card as he had been rude to staff using swear words, then running around the school like a headless chicken. I once again expressed my deep and worrying concerns for little man future. I know that it’s not all down to his condition but most of it is. I’m concerned that taking him out of his classroom again will make him worse as his breaking his routine. Yes he needs to understand consequences for his actions but I still feel that it’s unfair his punished as he is in need of extra help and support and is not receiving it. For these reasons alone I see it unfair! Just then she tells me that from her point of view little man would benefit from a statement as she thinks he is struggling to cope in mainstream school. Hang the hell on let me pick up my jaw from the floor! A STATEMENT!! This is what I have wanted for two long years this is what I spend all my free time fighting for! Why have I been told for so long it’s not an option. I’m told that now she has seen his formal diagnosis she can now offer more support. She said that they are not able to cope with a child with little mans level of needs. He requires one on one but their staff are not trained to deal with his condition. She goes on to say that he would benefit from a special school and secondary school would be a challenge for him. Basically she was saying all the things I had said before over and over again.

I know that the school have done nothing but supple  me with stress. I have had no support and have battled with them over anything and everything. Yes They have really messed up by saying they never received his formal diagnosis when the evidence  that they did is so strong it makes  them look silly. Looking at all these factors I see that maybe they are worried that the Court will see my side and realise  that yes they have failed a child with ASD. Maybe that’s why we have this sudden big turn around but at the same time does it matter what motive is behind it. If  the end result would mean  little man gets the long-awaited support he so needs ?  A statement = A new school which means his needs will be meet by professionals qualified  in dealing with children with social communication disorders. Yes the treatment we have received is worse than poor but I’m starting to get used to this treatment. I found that once Someone listens and takes note they suddenly leave and I’m back to Where I started. The Deputy said that she will tell the school SENCO that she supports my choice in getting an assessments for a statement of needs and from this day on they must offer better support to little man. All of this I will request in writing as who knows what will happen if she decides to leave and I’m not prepared to go though it again.

It was only a few short days ago I took a copy of his formal diagnosis into the school office to be copied. If I hadn’t of done so the deputy assures me that yes he would have been excluded today. It makes me so angry that his diagnosis has only just began to offer a positive effect on decisions made about his welfare within the school. His had the condition confirmed well over a year It should never of gotten this far. What a bloody mess it all become.

We spoke for what seemed like ages. She tells me that the promise of extra help and the long-awaited backing for a statement will not be broken. She is a newish deputy head and this has to be the first time I have really dealt with her and I’m really hoping she is one in a million and keeps to her word and doesn’t let the system fail my little man again. I’m assured by her that the parent will get the biggest imput when applying for a statement. I’m told all the basic information and know its a long road and a hard one but once I have reached the end it will be a great and satisfying achievement. I’m advised to get support from our local GP and DR at kaledoscope where  he was diagnosed all this plus the support of the school will better his chances in gaining a statement. For the first time in ages I feel that things are looking brighter and little mans further in education could be a much happier one 🙂 It’s a feeling I don’t recognized as the situation has never reached this point and at times it did seem pointless. I told the deputy that I felt the school made me out to be a bad parent and all I ever wanted was what she was offering me now SUPPORT. Wow it cost nothing it’s free nothing flashy or over the top who would think that something that seemed so little and silly would mean so so much to me. Support was all I wanted and I wouldn’t ask for anything else in the world right now. We speak about Alice and how it’s all affecting her. The deputy says she finds Alice a very pleasant child who has perfect manners and has grade A behaviour with this she knows that my parenting skills are not an issue when it comes to Giovanni. Wow she must not have read the statements from the educational welfare officer. She made it seem that it was all down to my parenting skills, she made it seem as if I was lazy and didn’t care about his education I was chosing not to take him to school. Then It went on and on about his great behaviour when at school and the fact he displayed no signs of ASD when he was there. Ok she looks pretty silly now with everything that has been going on lately. Well this child with no problems has been excluded a number of times and his deputy head thinks mainstream school is not the right place for him. Yes shes phoned me and told me that she has only just become aware that his experiencing problems and that the school are not coping. I’m guessing she will be doing her best to think up excuses for her statement looking a little less than perfect. Oh well she has a few weeks to come up with something.

Well I just had to share this break through with you all. I’m praying that the end of this chapter is nearing and life for little man is on the up. God knows it’s about time.