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I’m a mummy but I still have hopes and dreams.

29 Oct

 

I don’t normally participate in blog prompts, however, I had to write this post having been Inspired by the fabulous Britmums and there blogging prompt of the week.

  So the prompt? 

What are your hopes and dreams for the future

 Now, I read quite a few of the post, written by my fellow mummy bloggers and although they were all great post written by some excellent bloggers, I felt most had the same dream, for their children to be happy or successful! 

Now before I put my size 5 heels in it, of course I want the same thing for my own children, what mother wouldn’t? However, don’t you think our own mothers wanted the same for us? Therefore, don’t we owe it to them, to fulfil our own hope’s & dreams, or at least try?

 I’m not stating that it’s wrong to have hopes for our children, I have a string of them, the list is as long as my arm, I want them to be happy and healthy above all else. If my children are successful then that’s great, but the happiness & health is what matters to me most! However, I do hold dreams for myself too and I owe it to my own mother as well as my children to a least try to fulfil a few of them!

Yes, like many, my hopes and dreams have changed with age, but I still have some nonetheless. I hope that one day I will be able to complete a law degree, I hope to write a book, a book that will help and inspire other parents who like myself have a child on the autism spectrum. I hope to get my ideas out there in the big wide world, have my own brand maybe, one that takes off and becomes a raving success. I hope that my children look at what I achieve and feel somewhat inspired to live their own dreams, and do so for themselves amongst all others. 

And if all the above don’t happen? Well, at least I can say I tried and really that’s all that counts!

My children won’t need to be pop stars or actors, just good people who know what they want and set about making it happen. I look at where I am as a 29 year old woman and there is so much I wish I had already done. Yes, Life is busy and I’ve already ticked a few of the boxes by becoming a mother to three awesome children, but I like to think I’m more than just a mother and hope on day I’ll be able to prove that to the world. 

Life is full of amazing and inspirational people, you don’t have to be a film star, published author or spend your life doing things for a good cause to be an inspiration! The secret, I believe is, “motivation” you have to know what you want and chase it like there’s no tomorrow, If you don’t succeed then at least you know you tried and that’s what makes a mother proud.

Hopes and dreams are not handed to you on a platter, you work for them! I’d love to win the lottery and buy a beautiful house to leave my children when I’m all dead and buried, but it wouldn’t be half as satisfying as having earn that house, don’t you agree?

I have a whole bundle of hopes and dreams for myself and that of my children. I want more from life as it has so much more to offer. 

I am thankful for what I have, but there is no shame in wanting that bit more, if you don’t want for nothing then that’s great, but if you do, then why not chase it and make it happen. We are never to old for dreams, and who says dreams can’t become a reality? 

Well, I’m not ready to give up on trying for mine, regardless of being a parent, I want my children to look up to me, there is little shame in that!

If you want to reach for the stars, then reach!

It’s only you who can make it happen. 

I’m no Vicky Pallord!

25 May

Warning post contains sarcasm!

I’m a mummy of three, who doesn’t currently engage in paid employment! My hobbies include sitting on my backside smoking an excessive amount of cheap brand cigarettes while indulging in the awesomeness of daytime television. (it’s my opinion that daytime telly is seriously under-rated in its entertainment value).

When my two older children are in school I generally let my eighteen month old run a muck, while I get my daily fix of Jeremy Kyle. As I trust you all, I will let you into a little secret of mine! “I sometimes keep the two older children home from school due to me failing to get my arse out of bed of a morning, that or I require them to babysit their little brother as to allow me some me time! Yes, this is mainly spent socialising and networking on Facebook.”

So, there you have it! I’m basically a total bum who has chosen to live this lavish lifestyle as opposed to getting a, what’s that word again? …Oh yes that’s it, ‘JOB’!!!!

Can you blame me? Given the toss-up between the two, that is…   A lazy day at home in the company of Jeremy Kyle, or… The long commute on an overly crowded train in a bid to get to work five mornings a week! Sorry… Jeremy wins hands down!

Yer right as if! Please tell me you do realise that the above is nothing other than an example of my twisted humour, a hard injection of sarcasm! Come on people seriously…  I’m no ‘VICKY POLLARD

It’s incredibly lamentable that a large proportion of people in today’s society, will all to often draw such conclusions of those above when it comes to unemployed mothers!

I guess it’s all to easy to assume that the mother on benefits who lives in a council house, doesn’t work because its easier this way. You only have to watch television to see some great examples of the stigma surrounding this type of mother! I’m not stating that I myself don’t laugh till my sides are sore when watching ‘Little Britain’ or ‘Balls of steel’ I’m just stating that it’s a shame that in the reality of things, people everywhere actually see us mum’s in this light!

Well, this may well be the case for some mothers, but it certainly isn’t the case for me! I imagine it isn’t for many others either!

So, do I want to work? In actual fact… I do!

I’m not only a full-time mother to three children (one on the autism spectrum), but I’m also a volunteer adviser and caseworker, supporting parents of children with autism and special educational needs through the process of the SEN tribunal in-order to get their child’s educational needs met. My duties include: Advising parents on their legal rights, helping them make an application to the tribunal, then basically guiding those that need it, through the different stages of the appeal from then on till the hearing. I can’t begin to explain how for me this is an incredibly rewarding position! Its one that doesn’t provide me with any financial gain, no form of income! That’s right! I do it because I’m passionate about helping these families overcome the battle of obtaining educational provision for their children! After all, It’s something we as a family have continually faced.

My little man was a very different child, a deeply unhappy one, up in till we removed him from mainstream in December. His currently in home tuition (supplied at the expense of the LEA), since January this year. He was continually excluded from his old school, I was called to collect him almost daily and towards the end he was taught in isolation. Lucky, Little man is set to start a trail placement at a fantastic independent autism specific school at the end of June. All goes well… The school will be named in part 4 of his statement!

So, here’s my point, I do have one I promise! I’m sure many parents of children on the spectrum will agree with me when I say, “Who would want to employ a mother or a father of an autistic child?” I’m being honest when I say, “I wouldn’t employ me!”

Constant calls from your child’s head-teacher requesting you collect your child immediately! They want you to come in just to have a word with them, or calm your child down during a meltdown! To work would be wholly unachievable! Lets state facts here guys, tell it like it is! What decent company with a boss who is well on the ball, would even consider employing a woman like me?

Come November 2011, this mum will be putting the long-term plan into action, the one that sees her go get the career she wants! Yes, this is the date I hope to start studying for my Psychology degree, “The one I couldn’t start this month as previously planed” (Not enough time, what with Jeremy Kyle and all). My study will thankful be done from home with the ‘Open University’ allowing me the flexibility to care for the children and carry on volunteering.

So, you see… I’m not no ‘Vicky Pallord’ (you couldn’t pay me to wear that shell suit)! More importantly I don’t do any of those terrible things, with the exception of them horrid cigarettes (Yes, bad habit I know!) I’m really just a mum trying to do right by her children! Even if that is under the roof of a council house!

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