#silentsunday

#Silent Sunday – Happy Easter

Money Saving And Financial Support Resources For Those Parenting A Child With A Disability

We all know that parenting children with disabilities or SEN is more costly for whatever reason!

That’s why I wanted to share some great resources designed to help such families save money and lessen the burden.

Help with the everyday cost of living

If your child is entitled to any benefits such as Disability Living Allowance (DLA) be sure to claim them as your child’s appropriate adult.

Filling out DLA forms can seem a daunting process but there is help out there. Many online sites have developed detailed guides to help you fill in the form to the best of your ability.

Once your child’s DLA application has been approved, fill out a Carers Allowance form (better still do it at the same time as the DLA form) This isn’t a great deal of money but does help to lessen the burden especially if you are caring full time and are not in the position to work.

Save Money On Days Out

Most major theme parks and attractions do offer special rates for those with a disability and their carer. I would suggest visiting your planed attraction online. All will need to have easy access to their policies relating to disability, access and pricing. Most of the large parks also provide special access passes so those who find it difficult to queue can use the rides exist. Note… Each park has its own policies but most will require you to bring a certain amount of identification as well as proof of disability.

Financial Support Towards Days Out & Holiday’s

The Happy Days Charity funds and organises holidays, residential trips, days out and theatre trips for children and young people aged 3 to 17 years with learning difficulties, physical or mental disabilities.

Individuals can apply for help with the cost of days out and theatre trips, while families can apply for funding towards a one week UK family holiday (though a supporting letter from a professional is needed).

Another charity that can provide assistance to families in need of a break are the “Family Holiday Association” who helps disadvantaged children and their families with family UK breaks. Applications must be made by a welfare agent exp… Social worker etc.

Below is a charity who have helped us fund days out to their attractions, such as Lego Land and Chessington. They have done this by providing us with complementary family tickets. Note… there was some talk last year of pending changes to the way the charity processed applications form families of autistic children so you should refer to their website for full details….

Merlin’s Magic Wand is a worldwide charity for children, aiming to provide magical experiences for those who are seriously ill, disabled or disadvantaged.

The charity has been created by the Merlin Entertainments Group, Merlin’s Magic Wand is a UK charitable trust, run by a Board of Trustees. The board manages the funds and makes awards to good causes in the countries in which Merlin operates. Find out who is eligible and how to apply by visiting their website.

Its also worth noting that Scope have a special inclusion service designed to help children and young people with disabilities access leisure activities and facilities within their own communities.

Save Money On Travel Costs.

Earlier in the week I spoke about the disabled persons railcard which enables the card holder and carer upto 30% each of their travel. There is a yearly fee of around £20 but its worth it as you can save a fortune. I also highlighted how those claiming DLA who receive the high care rate and live in london can normally apply for a disabled persons pass (which enables the card holder free travel in london) You should check with the local authority or DWP about accessing this service. Those who receive the mobility part at the higher rate are also entitled to a blue badge which could make parking at hospitals etc a whole lot cheaper and easier. If the person in receipt of the benefit is a minor the child’s carer is able to use the badge on the family car.

Those in receipt of mobility may also be given the option of a car provided for their use by a car dealer on behalf of the DLA. This means a brand new car is provided to the family but the cost is taken from the mobility part of their DLA and they will receive no or very little cash payment (but will have the car for as long as they are in receipt of the benefit with the option of upgrades).

Financial assistance for home improvements and mobility aids.

That Act Foundation gives grants to individuals and charities based in the UK. These grants are designed to enhance the quality of life specifically for those with physical and/or learning disabilities.

Grants can be provided for building (modifications to the home)
Equipment (mobility aids etc…)
Financial assistance towards respite registered breaks.

The local authority/council can provide help and assistance in way of a disabled facilities grant. This is designed to provide financial assistance to enable families to make adaptions to the home as to allow the child with a disability to continue living there. Note: for those under the age of 19 years this is not means tested.

The Variety Club is a really great charity who provide grants and assistance to provide families with vital daily items that often go unconsidered yet cost thousands of pounds every year. These include things like bath mats, toilet seats, car seats and more.

Family Fund Is another fabulous charity that provide families of disabled children grants and vouchers for essential items such as appliances and more. They can even supply families with vouchers towards holidays within the UK and aboard, as well as some of the cost towards driving lessons to make live that little bit more easier.

There are some fantastic charities out there, set up to provide families parenting a child with a disability advice and in some cases financial support. Its just finding them that seems to be the problem for some. Those listed above are just a handful, there are many others available to help and you may be able to find the right service for you by visiting the one of these online directories…
Funder Finder
Living Made Easy For Children

#Win A Family Ticket To See Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom Live On Stage

A while back I told you about how Ben and Holly from the little kingdom, would be doing their first ever live tour! I also told you that I’ll be giving readers of the blog the chance to win themselves a family ticket to attend the show! True to my word I’m here today doing just that!

As it was sometime ago when I first told you all about the live show I’ve included this little recap.

From the makers of Peppa Pig and the producers of the two hugely successful Peppa Pig theatre tours comes the first ever stage version of the BAFTA award-winning TV animation, Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom.

The Little Kingdom – where everyone is very, very small – is home to Princess Holly and her best friend Ben Elf. Holly is a young fairy princess who is still learning how to do magic properly and sometimes her spells don’t work out quite right. Ben is an Elf. Elves don’t do magic but they are very good at making things. Ben doesn’t have wings like Holly but he flies on the back of Gaston the Ladybird.

In this exciting new musical adventure, Ben and Holly have fun and games helping Gaston clean up his messy cave; they go on a trip to The Big World with tooth-fairy Nanny Plum; and still have time to plan a surprise for King Elf’s birthday party, complete with an unplanned jelly flood.

Packed full of games, songs and laughter, this is an enchanting and magical visit to the Little Kingdom, live on stage for the very first time. This beautiful story of elves, princesses and childhood innocence will delight all the family.

This brand new UK tour is on the road from 26 October until July 2013 and I have 1 family ticket up for grabs at the venue of your choice, (subject to availability). A family ticket is for 4 people, minimum 1 adult. The tickets are non-transferable. No cash alternatives, accommodation or travel are provided in this competition. For further show information and tour dates: www.benandhollylive.com

It’s really very easy to enter! Here’s how!

Compulsory Action:
To enter please submit your answer to the question below, together with your performance and venue choice. These can be found using the above link.

Q: What is Gaston?

A. Caterpillar
B. Ladybird
C. Snail

You can gain a few additional entries.

First tweet: “I want to win a family ticket to see Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom Live with @clairelouise82 http://bit.ly/OXwdRS” then leave the link to your tweet below.

Pin this competition on pinterest and then share the link to your pin below.

Comment on any non competition post on this blog then comment to let me know which one.

For every action carried out you must leave a separate comment with a way of contacting you in the event you win. Please no Facebook contacts just twitter or email.

Winner will be drawn randomly. Only a maximum of 4 entry’s per person. Those that exceed this number will automatically be rejected.

Competition will close on the 22nd October 2012 at 11:59 PM

Good luck.

T&C: Winner must respond within 72 hours of being notified. If they fail to do so they may forfeit their prize and risk a redraw. No entries after the closing date and time will be accepted (22nd October 2012 at 11:59pm). Winner must state what show they want to see within their entry. All details will be passed on to the PR who will organise your tickets. UK only please!

Checkout The Prize Finder for more fab prizes.

Vist loquax for more competitions.

A Fun Family Day With Thomas The Tank Engine

As a blogger I’m lucky to find some really exciting invitations in my inbox of a morning and recently I received one of these from HiT entertainment.

This was an invite for myself and the children to visit Drayton Manor Park home to Thomas Land. We would be reviewing the parks many attractions as well as watching a special screening of the brand new film Thomas and friends – Blue Mountain Mystery at the parks 4D cinema.

Alice-Sara was out for the day so myself and a friend took the 2 boys along. Little man had a big interest in Thomas the Tank engine from the time he could walk. His Thomas obsession was one of the many factors that helped CAMHS diagnosis him with Aspergers Syndrome, So, Yes, it was pretty intense. His now into transport as a whole but still won’t say no to a bit of Thomas if Tiny Tot is watching it! Little man collected everything Thomas the Tank Engine when he was younger. He has loads of the train sets (that are packed away and kept out of his siblings reach). It’s a shame as Little Harley who is 3 in December is now a huge Thomas fan and would love to sit playing with these!

Drayton Manor is a fair distance from where we live in South East London, in fact it took over three hours to reach the park by car. Nonetheless I felt that it was worth attending as the boys would absolutely love it! They were dead excited when we left bright and early on a Tuesday morning. Harley especially who was kitted out in his Thomas gear.

Two service stations, some sing songs and one minor meltdown later, we finally pulled into Drayton Manor Park some 3 and a half hours after first setting off.

The car park is massive and given this was the 4th of September, many children had just gone back to school resulting in us grabbing a great parking space quite close to the parks main entrance.

I decided not to take Harley’s buggy as I was guessing he’d be to excited to sit in it! I was right, Harley loved it at Drayton Manor and spent very little time sitting with the exception of the cinema and the rides.

As many know Little man 11 has Aspergers Syndrome and Special needs. He was entitled to a ride access band and this was collected from the guest services. I’ve written an additional review that looks at the parks facilities for those with a disability or special needs (particularly an autism spectrum condition) and this will feature on the blog following this one.

Next stop was Thomas Land. Now we only had a quick peek as we needed to head on over to the cinema and as we had little man with us, as to avoid any anxiety we decided to go over a bit earlier than needed so to avoid any queues. Lucky the screening was closed to the public so it was ourselves and a small number of other families who had been invited to review the film. This was perfect as it meant little man remained rather calm avoiding any meltdowns.

We were given some popcorn and bottled water and headed inside. HiT had organised for a few of its fabulous PR team to demonstrate some of its newest toy releases in connection with the movie. My Harley’s eyes lit up like beaming flashlights as soon as he entered the room. There was some great games and play sets on show. Harley went right for the Mega Blocks – Blue Mountain Quarry (which I’m going to have to buy him for his birthday as he keeps request to play with it)!

Little man coped well with all the people and sat in the corner playing with his brother Harley with a great remote control Thomas.

The film was being shown in 4D and we were pretty excited (even me at 30 years old was itching to get in there)! We were called for the screening by no other than the ‘Fat controller’ himself and inside we were shown to our fantastic seats.

The film was brilliant, it ran for an hour which was long enough for a toddler. The storyline was good and easy to follow, even for the youngest of audiences.

In Thomas’ latest adventure, the Fat Controller sends Thomas to work at the blue mountain Quarry where Thomas spots an engine he’s never seen before trying to hide. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery Thomas tracks down befriends Luke who tells Thomas he’s hiding because he did something so bad he could be sent away from the island of Sodor forever! Thomas does not believe this and set off on a journey to discover the story of this poor runaway engine. On the way he learns of engines bought to sodor from faraway lands and an accident in Brendam Docks where and engine fell into the sea. But only when he’s learnt every piece of the story can Thomas convince his new friend that there’s no reason to hide.

The 4D effects were perfect for the smaller children. Every so often the chairs would move! There was also bubbles when the lights come on and fake snow that gathered on the stage as the lights went down.

After enjoying the movie we then went off to enjoy the rest of the parks many attractions, in particular Thomas land. This was the perfect place for a Thomas fan, it truly is one-of-a-kind, a real Thomas paradise!

Thomas Land boasts 12 wonderful themed rides, a spectacular indoor play area and a shop filled with fantastic Thomas & Friends merchandise.

We went on almost every ride at Thomas land, we even did the Troublesome Trucks Coaster – a 220 metre roller coaster that runs up and over Thomas Land… Ok it’s nothing major for me, I’ve been on some massive beasts but for the 2 year old… I was surprised. It does go really fast and has some pretty sharp turns! I really thought he wouldn’t meet the height restriction, but he did and given he was jumping up and down with excitement, we went for it and yes, he loved it!

Little man also had a fabulous time he really wanted to ride the Ben10 roller-coaster, only he got a little anxious and changed his mind. In order to cheer him up I got him a large hotdog and we chilled by the parks stunning lake and fed the ducks before finally checking out some of the shops such as the Thomas gift shop and the fabulous cartoon network store.

Not that we needed anything! HiT had provide both of the boys with a Thomas goody bag following the film and Oh my… what a lovely goody bag it was!

The kids had an awesome time at Drayton Manor Park – Thomas Land. They also enjoyed the 4D movie Thomas and Friends – Blue Mountain Mystery which is now out on DVD for all to enjoy.

During our long drive home, there was silence… Yep, within 10 minutes of getting in the car both boys were fast asleep.

Thanks HiT the boys had an amazing day at Drayton Manor Park.

Checkout our Video of the day.

Holidays, festivals and Aspergers

As some may have noticed, this blogger has been a tad quiet these past few weeks. This I can only put down to the 6 week holidays.

The children have done well at keeping me on my toes since breaking up from school, there’s been all sorts of crazy family ups and downs (luckily nothing to explosive has happened)!

Little man struggles to get the most out of his holidays, what with the lack of a more structured routine, things can often get on top of him. However, this year his doing pretty well and I’m super impressed at how little man is adjusting himself and as a result his enjoying an easier, less stressful school break.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if family life paints the picture that portrays that perfect family the “Walton’s” or even that of the “Little House on the Prairie”. There has been meltdowns, sibling rivalry, tears and of course a little cursing. But thankfully on the whole, it’s been OK and could have easily been worse!

I don’t think I ever imagined that I’d write something like that of the above, especially not during past school holidays which have seen me wondering around in a zombie induced state or that of a women sitting in a corner with her head in her hands, questioning out loud her ability to be a parent! I’ve now come to learn that its a combination of careful planning, self confidence & consistency that makes holidays relatively pleasurable for the whole family (especially for that of the parent and child on the spectrum)!

Little man may scream & curse when I’m requesting a new rule is followed but these rules actually make his holiday and every other day more predicable. He has a clear message surrounding my expectations towards him.

This is the same when applying new activities to a timetable/schedule, as by doing so he is aware of what we’re doing and where we’re doing it. The only problems with this are that of having to reschedule a planed activity or trip, cancellations are by far the worse! Little man like most children diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, doesn’t really grasp the whole unavoidable circumstances explanation and things can therefore become extremely heated and long winded.

This year we haven’t really been on any huge trips and certainly not holidays. Yes, we’ve done some days out to the zoo, park and that of the beach but not as many as I would have liked! Nonetheless, little man seems happy as he engages himself in his special interests or spreading time in the garden where he jumps on the trampoline for hours at a time.

Yet, like his siblings and any other child for that matter, Little man does get bored. Sadly his one true friend who happens to live next door, is off on his holidays where he’ll spend a long sunny 3 weeks in Florida. It’s apparent how much the Little man is missing the friendship and as a result I’m often finding myself having to contend with a snappy, moody 11year year old.

The above has left me needing to think outside the box. There’s been a need to create fun on a budget in-order to keep the little mans mind healthy and stimulated therefore reducing the chances of him getting over absorbed in his interest or annoyed, over stimulated or bored.

Garden sensory play, board games and back yard camping have all played a huge part of our life these last few weeks.

Other then being a parent to three children there has been other things keeping me busy (thankfully I wouldn’t call these chores)! Their are a few new projects I’ve embarked on and some awesome brands I’ve started working with. Actually if I’m honest, I’ve had some lovely surprises since the kids broke up! Discovering I had been chosen to become one of the new Butlins Ambassadors, was one of those surprises, one that caused big cheesy smiles from fellow members of the household.

Becoming a Butlins Ambassador means I can book a holiday with the children between now and next August, and then share my views on the resort by written review and video.

Most importantly, I can report on the little things that matter to those families who have children on the autism spectrum, those with SEN and other types of disability. A holiday camp such as Butlins, runs scheduled activities & events throughout the day which is most appealing to the child who needs structure and routine to feel safe and comfortable.

As well as the review, I’ll be able to share all the need to know Butlins news which includes anything from fantastic competitions to fabulous savings.

If the above wasn’t enough for me to get all excited about, I’ve also met with Acer who invited me to check out their latest Tech releases while celebrating the Olympics 2012 games and its worldwide partnership, by sitting down for a spectacular 3 course lunch at the stunning Spencer House in London (blog post & images coming soon).

Last week was the week I got myself a little ‘Me’ time. I’ve just returned from a the “Wilderness Festival” in Oxfordshire. I spent the entire weekend with a friend discovering what Wilderness had on offer for its second year… and it was bigger and better than its first year ( review coming soon).

So now I’m home and enjoying being mum. Yes, it gets tough sometimes but there is no place I’d rather be.

A Day at Drusillas Park

So it’s week two of the school holidays, things haven’t been too bad considering the whole lack of routine and the fact I feel like I’ve been ran over by a stream roller… We’re hanging on in there.

The weather has thankfully been excellent, there has been garden picnics and days spent in the paddling pool. Money hasn’t been great but we did manage a visit to Drusillas Park on Saturday.

I won the tickets to Drusillas park back in July 2011 from a competition I entered in our local paper, with the tickets valid for only a year there were just three days before they ran out. With this we loaded the kids into the car and headed of to the park that boast a zoo and large adventure playground.

I did some research to find out how autism friendly the zoo was. Harley wanted to see and of course take a ride on Thomas the tank engine but the prospect of queuing was something I worried about, the last thing I needed was meltdowns from the little man. From what I could see there was no special wristband programme designed for those with disabilities. However, this didn’t prove to be a problem in the end as the park wasn’t at its busiest when we visited!

Arriving at the park we discovered that their was a ‘Sensory Trail’ around the Park which incorporates a number of multi-sensory exhibits. You could obtain a sensory booklet and map containing information on the trail when first entering the park. Disappointingly we asked at the entrance gate and was told that this was only for children with a disability! I quickly explained that one of the children had just that and it was Little man we required the book for. The young man looked shocked and said something along the lines of “Oh Really” while eyeing the little man up and down as to spot his disability. The guy was obviously looking for some physical sign and was baffled when he couldn’t find it! He gave us the booklet nonetheless.

I don’t think he was trying to be rude, his ignorance was just caused by the fact he was uneducated on those disabilities that don’t have obvious physical aspects!

On a brighter note the attraction itself was fabulous. The sensory trail was fantastic, and Little man enjoyed the tactile aspects of the trail.

Another great feature to the zoo is the education that surrounds it. Everywhere you go there is something interesting to learn. There are many interactive learning activities to be found which means your given the opportunity to learn about the animals your seeing which makes it all the more interesting.

Myself and the children loved exploring the zoo, there was lots to see including a farm yard where children can pet the animals and learn where milk comes from by milking a mechanical cow.

But it’s not just the zoo that makes Drusillas park great, as well as some great play areas, inflatable slides and a children’s outdoor pool, it’s also the place to find Thomas the tank engine. Harley was extremely excited when he discovered his favourite blue engine, and even more so when Thomas took us for a short ride around the park.

There are some great areas to explore at Drusillas Zoo and they are right in stating that this is no ordinary zoo.

Little man and sister Alice-Sara Couldn’t wait to slide down the giant inflatable penguin slide. This however did come at an extra price of £3 for 6 slides. Ok, for us this was fine, after all we had won our family pass which would normally cost £68.00 for a family of 4. However if I had paid for the tickets I may not have been a little unimpressed at having to pay extras especially when there is more than one child involved! This wasn’t the only payable extra, others included crazy golf and panning for gold. On the whole, the majority of activities were included in the price.

The park hosts some pretty awesome adventure playgrounds such as
Go Bananas! A jungle themed attraction designed for children aged 6 years and under. This is located directly opposite “Go Wild” an adventure playground for older children from 7-12 years. This is perfect as it meant I could easily keep the toddler entertained at “Go Bananas” while the older two ran wild in “Go wild” both were visually inviting and fully equipped with some pretty spectacular play equipment such as banana boat swings and funky slides and climbing frames. All three children loved the area and the fact none were overly busy meant little man was able to play with little anxiety.

There is also a pretty cool indoor soft play area called Amazon Adventure
It includes jumbo slides, a large aerial runway, the cannon canyon, netted walkways, spinning poles, the anaconda run and a variety of jumping, climbing and sliding fun.

As the sun was shining we also took a deep in the pool to Harley’s delight before grabbing some treats for the children from the gift shops. I loved how they catered for all budgets and had soft animal toys starting at just a pound.

All in all we had a great day! We went on a Saturday and didn’t arrive till after midnight. The park wasn’t all that busy which was perfect for little man. Had the zoo been busier I’m unsure how autism friendly this would have been, especially if long queues came into it!

The park is however truly fab for the toddler and throughout August there will be a number of Special appearances taking place. These include Peppa Pig, Fireman Sam and the fabulous Mike the Knight. Note… This does mean it’s bound to be busier so some may want to go visit the park on quieter months (Harley not included)!

#Silent Sunday

Guest post and Competition: A safe day out for a child with Aspergers

Days out with your children don’t have to be stressful and a safe day out for a child with Asperger’s doesn’t have to be stressful either.

A close relative of mine has four children. He has two girls and two boys. All of the kids are happy, loving and lots of fun. Both girls go to mainstream schools. They have no difficulties whatsoever, but they certainly understand that everybody is different and that we all have our own challenges in life. One of his sons is autistic and the other has Asperger’s syndrome. Tom who is autistic needs to be monitored pretty much most of the time and to look at him you know that he is autistic and the majority of people do make allowances for that. Steve on the other hand, is the older of the brothers, he has Asperser’s syndrome. To look at him you would not know he has it.

When the family go out for the day, all of them take turns to mind Tom as he does wonder off and no matter how many times that they tell him he still does it. Steve does not normally wonder off but becomes extremely engrossed in something and does not realise that everyone else has moved on. There have been numerous occasions that my cousin or his wife and even I have gone racing back to the last place we were only to see Steve looking very bewildered. Because of his condition he will not ask anyone for help as he finds interaction difficult. So he is for want of a better phrase ‘left stranded’.

To overcome this and to be able to have a safe day out for a child with Asperger’s my cousin now uses a child locator with Steve. The child locator is made up of two pieces. One for Steve and one for my cousin or his wife, if they move off without Steve there is a chirping sound and they realise that Steve is not moving on with them. All of the children carry a personal alarm for kids anyway so the child locator was not something that was a big deal for Steve.

One of the other things that can sometimes a bit of a challenge for my cousins’ family when they have a day out is that both boys tire quicker than the girls and they tire at different rates themselves. To minimise the impact this can have on the day out my cousin plans the day ahead of time. He schedules meal and break times. This gives the boys some R and R time and means the boys have enough energy to keep up with the girls.

A safe day out for a child with Asperger’s is as simple as a day out with any other child.

Post written by Andrea mother and owner of Safe girl http://www.safe-girl.co.uk

The teddy bear child locator is on sale reduced from £29.99 to just £19.99 till Christmas

WIN A CHILD TEDDY BEAR LOCATOR

The lovely Andrea is offering you all the chance to win one of this fantastic safety child locators.

If entering please leave a contact email or tweeter idea so I can contact you in the event you win.

Compulsory entry 

All I’m asking you to do is visit Safe-Girl website and tell me what Alarm or Locator you like best

For an additional entry

ALL WILL BE VAILD ONLY BY AN ADDITIONAL COMMENT FOR EACH ACTION TAKEN

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Tweet: I want to win a child locator with clairelouise82 and @safety4girls Adding the ULR to this post.

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DISCLAIMER: This competition will close on the 15th December at midnight and will be drawn at random! Once notified the winner has 48hrs to email (email in the sidebar) there postal address. Prize will be sent direct from Safe girl. Competition is open world wide. 

Related articles

• revolutionary device designed to keep children from wandering could benefit families of children with autism (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Aspergers: The Best Thing to Ever Happen to Me (walterhouse.wordpress.com)
• Win a Mommy I’m here teddy bear child locator (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Asperger’s has made me vulnerable to predators (secretaspie.wordpress.com)
• Support for New Parents with Asperger’s (ask.metafilter.com)

Just because I love him

A few months back I was the lucky winner of a family ticket with camping to the Wilderness festival in Oxfordshire

 Yes, I was having a period of good fortune as I had also managed to get hold of a cybermummy ticket, won a build a bear birthday party and the fantastic prize of a £15o dove spa voucher.

This itself was a fantastic prize that I won on the awesome blog Not Supermum. The festival would commence on the 12th August and finish on the night of the 14th, meaning I would be leaving on the Friday and returning Monday morning. Given Little man’s Aspergers I considered all the options very carefully, which basically were, “Take him” or “Not take him” Of course I don’t want to leave my Little man behind and just because he has Aspergers doesn’t mean he is unable to be involved in the daily activities that you or I might participate in. I’ve always stated this opinion and continue to do so! However, I was thinking of him as opposed to anyone else, let me explain! Back in early July I was invited as a VIP guest to the Pandamonium Festival by Cadbury. The event was in Nottinghamshire and although we enjoyed the Cadbury mini games and the lavish VIP area where we sat next to the Ambassador  of China, things started to turn sour by the afternoon. A festival is a place that you can’t attend on a schedule, It just don’t happen! What with crowds, unannounced changes to a listing, and the fact that most of the time you are unaware of all the activities on site in till you arrive. This is an incredibly anxious prospect for Little Man and many others like him.

Little man is a child who manages reasonably well if his home life isn’t tightly scheduled, though we try with the help of visuals etc… It’s outside of the comfort of the four walls of our home, things become very difficult. Little mans intense need to control his environment causes him to become extremely rigid which is becoming a very tiresome for all involved. I almost had a breakdown once home from that festival, we all did including the little man himself, so, I needed to weigh things up in my mind before being any arrangements. 

If the truth be told despite any post I’ve written to assist a family embanking on a day out with a child on the spectrum I still find the whole task incredible hard for myself to apply. Many theme parks will cater to the family of a child on the spectrum, offering wrist bands to avoid queues and busy areas of the park (sometimes known as a ride access pass)!  Festivals are a very different  thing altogether.

So, after much deliberation I came to the decision that it was probably best if Little Man remained with his father who was already watching my toddler. However, I did something that some may describe as odd! I went against my instincts, choosing my desire for my child to have a weekend of fun just as his sister would. I asked him, he wanted to come! As his mother how could I possibly leave him behind?

We left for the Wilderness festival around 8 p.m Friday evening, (We meaning, myself, my friend Donna, daughter Alice-sara and my Little man) as total camping virgins.  During the drive Little man was a little anxious about speed limits and motorways. I tried my best to estimate our journey time, through I didn’t want to, as I wanted to avoid any rigid time keeping. This failed terribly as he would not rest till I gave the estimate. We hit Oxfordshire 20 minutes above schedule, giving us some extra time to now get to the beautiful Cornbury estate in Charbury the location in which the Wilderness festival would be held! I breathed a sigh of relief at the prospect of avoiding any upset from Little man. We left the A road with his beautiful array of cats eyes that provided Little Man with visual delight and entered the extremely dark bendy country lanes. The roads were dark and narrow. I love these little lanes yet, I had little time to sit back and chill in the passengers seat as Little man was becoming a little worried. Suddenly everything went very wrong, what started of as having plenty of time given the fact we had hit Oxfordshire a little quicker than first expected had now flipped the other way, we were now somehow 20 minutes over schedule. As the realisation set in that, “We were Lost” there was no hiding it from  Little man who had already worked this out for himself. Once Panic had set in, it resulted in verbal abuse, mainly at myself, followed by lots of tears. I was becoming stressed along with my poor friend who was the one driving. The other problem was, the gates were due to close for the Campsite which would result in us all spending a night in the car! Can you picture it? Its a terrifying vision and one I would rather not live out!

Thankfully the lovely people at Wilderness took one look at my face and Im guessing that of little mans (That displayed a string of emotions) and my guess is, wanting to avoid the tantrum that was so obviously brewing,  had then decided to let us in! Well, it was this or maybe the fact they felt sorry for my poor daughter who had basically slept all the way from London and was now stood with a blanket around her, eyes still closed and shivering like a ice cube. Whatever the reason, I was most grateful to them when they ushered us in.

However it wasn’t a case of getting in, unpacking and jumping into a nice warm bed! Remember we’re camping here, and we are, “camping virgins!” Myself and my friend were yet to embank on our challenge of attempting to put up the tent. Lets just say that little man had good reason to blow up when we were still trying to work the stupid thing out some two hours later, (seriously not kidding, even I had a mini tantrum by this point, which largely consisted of me kicking tent pegs in sheer anger). Well, at least my daughter didn’t complain, nope she was in here sleeping bag embracing the whole camping experience by snoring under the full moon.

The festival was great, It had that hippy chick, carefree feel about it. Dress crazy, dance like a idiot, or sit and debate politics through the small hours, no one cares! This attitude makes life so doable even if it is just for them few days! I love that happy festival atmosphere. That’s the good thing about this type of festival, No one stares or makes judgements when little man is having a hard time! My parenting skills are not judged, “If they were at least they were discreet about it!” Honestly, I met some really nice laid back people.

The overall location was idilic, what with beautiful swimming lakes where I embraced the whole ‘Wilderness’ theme by freezing my arse off while being nibbled by crayfish, as Little man sat watching alongside my friend, (only myself and my daughter braved the cold waters and its many residents).

Another area of concern was Little mans fussy eating. He will not eat anything cold or packed in a cool box, knowing the festival would be selling food at normal “Festival prices” I was aware that we would need to embank on daily journeys to the nearest local takeout to be sure he ate.

As expected the festival wasn’t the type of event that you would find people following a routine, just like my true personality, people were spontaneous, taking things how and when they came. This may have been perfectly fitting for me if I were alone,though it’s been so long since I have indulged in such spirited self-being, that I probably wouldn’t know how! The point, “I wasn’t alone!” Of course the problems Little man had with the lack of routine were displayed through eruptions of unpredictable behaviours! He hit his sister and swore so loudly that he may of been heard from those back in London! There where moments that he coped and enjoyed those activities that he coped with, though the majority he did not handle well t all! Of course I understand its hard for him, yet I’m human and could not help feeling somewhat restricted from the events taking place around me. I often found myself feeling a tad sorry for myself! Though it would pass within seconds, I needed to think of Little man and ways to improve the situation.

I myself felt some strong emotions come over me during the festival. At times I was so goddamn angry at Little man as he swore and called me horrific names! Others times my heart arched, I longed for my son discover a world of enjoyment as oppose to fear and anticipation that nearly always tipped into huge bouts of anger, accompanied by meltdowns

Despite this I tried my best to give them both a good time and see it through to the end. We did it (Well, we left the night before we had to) This wasn’t due to little man but just the connivence of avoiding morning traffic on the busy M25.

I pray that one day, my son be be able to enjoy events fully like those  such as the Wilderness festival! I hope over time we help little man develop the skills needed to enable him to deal with his anxiety and hopefully reduce it.

Would I take him again?

Yes, if he wanted to, I would?

Why?

Because his my son and I love him, Its as simple as that!

Related articles

• Wilderness 2011 | Review Our Reviews: The Student (wannabehacks.co.uk)
• Wilderness festival in Oxfordshire (guardian.co.uk)
• Chocolate, sun and lots of fun (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)