Tag Archives: bad behaviour

RISK OF PERMANENT EXCLUSION

14 Mar

If you have been reading the blog lately you probably know about little man getting excluded from school.

Well it gets worse If that’s even possible! He was excluded on Wednesday the 3rd March at 1 pm and was back at school on the 5th March. The exclusion was for a fixed period of 1.5 days. Well it was 8.30 am Friday morning and I was getting little man and his sister ready for school. I was getting a little worried that it would be hard for little man to settle back into his school routine but was very keen for him to get right back in there and give it a go. Little man seemed pretty keen to which was a blessing as refusing to attend had been a past problem. Just then my mobile goes It’s the school receptionist. She tells me the Head teacher wants me to bring little man in at 9.20 am as we have to meet and discuss what happens next. Well he goes back to school and gets himself on of those things called an education! surely that’s what’s next. 9.20 am is 25 minutes after the bell and if little man was going in at 9.20 am so was his sister!! We arrived and was greeted by the Head teacher. “Giovanni can you tell me the reasons you were excluded from school ?”  Little man looks at the floor and says ” YOU EXCLUDED ME! YOU SHOULD KNOW! I don’t think it was the answer the head was looking for as he asked the question another couple of times with little man firing the same answer back. “SO WE ARE NOT READY TO ATTEND CLASS THEN GIOVANNI ?” YOU MUST WANT TO WORK IN THE OFFICE WITH ME ?”  Little man shook his head. “Well if you can’t talk to me and give me the reason you think you were excluded maybe it’s best if you do” Hang on! The Head teacher had asked and he answered. You can’t keep taking him out of his class he needs his routine. If there is a problem in class removing him wont help in the long run. They must be able to see this by now. I expressed this and a number of other concerns before waving him off and setting off home.

I was scared to go anywhere. I would normally use this time to go and get the food shopping as it’s hard work with little man, his sister and my baby! But I was worried my mobile would ring and it would be them and I would not be able to get in to collect him right away! Or maybe I would have to leave the shopping and run. My mother who lives around the corner from me and his school would be working I’m sure! In case I gave mum a ring on her mobile in the hope she had finished and was at home. Not only was she still working but she gave me a good talking to. She was angry that I would put of doing day-to-day stuff in case they called. If they called then they would have to wait! I see her point I knew this but I still didn’t want to plan much just in case. 12.30 pm  I notice I have a missed call. Crap are my fears confirmed? I call back just waiting for the bad news. Phew the receptionist told me it was regarding little mans packed lunch It had gone missing from the trolley. This isn’t a first! They had given him a school dinner instead. He was having sausages and ice cream ( Not together I hope ) She tells me he isn’t really eating it but hey his giving it ago. I put down the phone and I remember thinking God how on earth is he coping with all them children making all that noise when using  cutlery! He can not stand the sound of the cutlery scraping on the plate, he says it makes him fuzzy and he freaks out if Alice ever does it at home he will flip out and most of the time this resulted in Alice getting hit.  Well there was no point in worrying so went about my day in the hope he was doing ok. I did my shopping and was pleased that I had done so without a single call 🙂  But once home I heard the dreaded Ring ring ! OH MY GOD! IT’S THEM! This time my heart was in my mouth. Whats happened I shouted down the phone like a mad mother. “Me and the Head have been discussing our options in terms of outreach support for Giovanni. We have contacted Brent knoll autism outreach team. This is a services that will offer… I butted in “I know I know I have read about them and I am also interested in their school so I know their services” “Well Ms Parkinson, this is not a free service and we will be funding it and you need to sign the paper work once it has come in. By the way the call was from Mrs Jeffery’s the schools SENCO! And I like the way they found it important to inform me that it wasn’t free! Cheeky gits!!! However this was fantastic news I was over the moon and felt positive for the first time in ages. I told her in a relieved voice that seeing the school number come up on my phone always made me panic. I have taken two calls from them today and with both heart attacks were in easy reach. She made a little noise that kinda sounded like a quick giggle. She said his had a few minor upsets but all is good. Wow I had less than an hour till home time seems his gonna make the day and I’m sure once Brent knoll are involved things will plan out.

It had been a few hours that the children had been home from school. Giovanni and Alice were sitting eating their tea at 6.15 pm when the phone rings. It’s the school Head teacher wanting a word. I roll my eyes and settle on the sofa in preparation for an ear burning frustrating conversation. And this is exactly what I got!  I’m sorry but Giovanni’s behaviour was so bad today that he may need to be put on a longer if not a permanent exclusion! Lucky I was sitting or I would have likely been falling. How can you go from a 1.5 day exclusion to a permanent one?? At 2pm he was fine a few upsets she said but nothing to worry about. That was a lie!!  The head says he has minor issues in morning but by lunch his out of control. His left the lunch hall a monster. I try to explain his been in that dinner hall trying to cope with his sensory processing  but he goes on to say no it was from lunch till home time. Yer! Point! How does that make a difference ? is this man crazy  don’t he understand anything surrounding ASD. Whats the permanent exclusion all about then? The Head teacher goes on to tell me that at home time he run around the deputy head with his fist together like a boxer and taunted her shouting come on come on you wanna fight, I’ve seen him do it hundreds of times he does it in a playful manner he kinda makes me laugh when his at it because his facial expressions really get me. I’m sure he was doing it in a playful manner. “No it was a threat that I can’t over look”.

He wanted him in on Monday at 9.15am and for me to collect him 15 min before his peers at home time. He would not be joining his class or even seeing them as he was to remain with the SENCO in her office all day apart from a one hour 1 2 1 he would have with a TA. He was even to eat lunch in the office. This was to be an In school exclusion. I checked it out and it can be done. I picked up on a few of their mistakes why dealing with this matter and contacted ACE who are great. Will have to share them mistakes another time as to many eyes around for me. I collected him from school after having been on this type of exclusion for three days  and once out the gate he burst into floods of tears. “I just wanna go to school and run about in the playgrounds I wanna see my teacher and be in class like everyone else.  It broke my heart and with this I promised him no more! If the Head Teacher don’t have Listen then it looks like home will be the safest place to be. I know this is what they want me to do but my main concern is for my childs welfare.

I have since contacted the LEA and told them about the possible permanent exclusion in the hope they assess sooner not later. I have also contacted ACE ( they sent the exclusion ace manual ) Parents in partnership, MP, Educational welfare officer, ISPA, and other autism support groups.

I just hope we sort it before it is too late and I’m home schooling a 9 yr old with a 3 month old baby to look after. Then dropping and collecting Alice from school twice a day. All this until a placement is found. Surly they see that this is best avoided. Yes I want him out of your school! But he needs another school placement to replace the one his leaving. permanent exclusion is not the right way to go about it.

Request for Statutory assessment

2 Mar

As my last post explained I have decided to apply for a statutory assessment of little mans special education needs. Wanted to get the request written up and sent of before little mans school decide to change their minds in their decision to support me on my quest to get little man statemented and Into a school better suited to his needs.

I have posted a copy  of my written request for a formal  assessment. Please share any tips and advice you can offer me if you feel the request needs to be written any differently.

  • 1st March 2010
  • Re Giovanni Sarcone
  • 01/10/2000
  • Request for statutory assessment.
  • Dear Sir or madam
  • I am writing as the parent of the above child to request an assessment of his special educational needs under the 1996 education act.
  • I believe that Giovanni Sarcone whom attends xxxxxxx primary school
  • has the following special educational needs.
  • Bad behavioral problems in class and playground. His refusal to follow simple instructions and rules given by his teachers and TAs. I feel this is a result of his diagnosis of Aspergers which is a social communication disorder placed on the spectrum of autism.
  • below average learning age despite having age appropriate  IQ ( underwent IQ test at kaleidoscope in 07 )
  • Giovanni’s  in abilities  in coping with certain situations brought on by his difficulties with sensory processing.
  • Rude and inappropriate  manner and language towards staff and peers
  • reluctance to learn unless the subject falls into something of interest to him. lack of communication in asking for help if he has difficulties in understanding work. This brings on outburst of anger in which causes disruption  for the rest of his class.
  • Giovanni has a number of difficulties that affect his school day. His diagnosis of Aspergers means he has many difficulties  with social communication, Reading social clues , expressing emotions in an appropriate manner, sensory sensitivity and problems with routine ( A change of class teacher often results in Giovanni being taken out of class and even being sent home )
  • My reasons for believing that his school xxxxxxx primary cannot on their
  • own make the provisions required to meet my child’s needs are as
  • follows
  • Giovanni’s behavior becoming increasingly more difficult for the staff to contend with.
  • He often will be removed from the classroom due to him being extremely disruptive.
  • He will often miss out on classroom activities and playtime due to behavioral factors and a reluctance to follow instructions.
  • An increases in letters and phone calls regarding his behavior and refusal to work.
  • Their has been at times a need for me to collect Giovanni from school just for lunchtime as playground and dinner hall staff are unable to cope with him. He has also been sent home early or half day due to not following teachers instructions  and behavior problems.
  • He is on the verge of exclusion  from school which I worry will do more harm then it can possibly do good.
  • I understand that you are required by law to reply to this request within
  • a six-week period, And that if you refuse I will be able to appeal to the
  • special educational tribunal.

  • Yours Sincerely
  • Miss Claire Parkinson

Please note this page was updated on the 20th-04-10. The Name of the school has been removed. It was posted as a genuine mistake. Sorry if this caused any concerns or problems. Clairelouise82 blog author.

Too little to late!

24 Feb

That school is driving me loopy. How can they say they had not received little mans written formal diagnosis when My copy says it was sent to six different departments within the school! Not only this but we had a meeting with the Sengo and little mans doctor. I’m a little angry and who can blame me as he was diagnosed well over a year ago and I have only just this past few months discovered little man wasnt receiving the support and services right for his condition. Anger, sadness and disbelief are just a few of the words that describe a few of my emotions these past weeks. I was shocked when I discovered that Lewisham education were taking me to court. How can they even consider doing so when they have done so little for my child. None school attendance for a five month period. Yer right. The school think its acceptable to mark the children in as absent if they are late. Cheeky ****** . Little mans attendance has improved a great deal but only due to me not through any help on the schools part. His well-behaved at school blah, blah, blah. It was this that almost stopped him being diagnosed. It made the process a whole lot longer. two stinking years longer. Thing is his been threatened with exclusion and they want him to be collected every lunch time. Wow is it just me or am I right in thinking that well-behaved is something that don’t seem to be occurring here. I told them that enough was enough I’m gonna apply for a statement. I had to laugh when they told me he would not get one without a diagnosis. So with this I marched down there with my copy of his diagnosis in hand to show the head and get it copied. His face was a picture. Now deny you have it. Since then little man came home with a letter it was an information sheet with help lines and information on ASD. There were events and workshops listed. I have already booked myself into these workshops as I saw them advertised on the net so please stop pretending to care as In my eyes it’s all to little to late!

Saw the solicitor yesterday Was pleased to hear that he was convinced we had a great case. This is fantastic as we still havent even gone through everything and for him to feel that’s our case is strong already at this point makes me feel a lot more at ease. He thinks that the school have not done right by little man and once it’s over we should make our own case for court. I’m In big time agreement with this idea. Let them see how it feels. Then again I can’t see them every being put through what I have. I was days from giving birth when they surprised me with a court summons stating that the case would be heard In just a few short weeks. I had to canceled how could I be expected to attend! I’m just glad that things are looking a little better and I’m hoping that once the 30th March has passed I can then begin the fight to remove him from his school and into somewhere much more suitable for his needs.

You can send as many letters and information sheets home as you please. As I have already said It’s all to little to late. All I ever wanted was the help and support in getting my son assessed, diagnosed, educated, statemented and most of all excepted for who he is. You let me down on all and it’s time to stand up and take note because if you think im gonna turn around and hide your so wrong. I’m gonna try my hardest to get my son and every other child like him his right to assessments, statements, support and services within the education system.

BRING IT ON! I HAVE A VOICE AND IM GONNA USE IT!!!

WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT.

3 Feb

What do you do when your 9 yr old Aspie son developes a taste for bad language?

I have to say that I don’t think I have the answer. I’m lost and at my wit’s end. Not only do I feel that I have lost control of the situation I also feel that everyone else is thinking the same thing. I got passed the looks and rude comments pushed apron me from other parents or members of the public. As I wrote in a past post some months ago I’m not going to feel like I have to explain every single thing little man does or action I take to deal with it. Yer I used to do this but I was losing the battle. How can you get the world to see things in a different light. Some people will always be stuck in their ways and little old me can’t do much to change it. It’s just that old fashion way of  thinking. There is no such Thing as autism or in our day it was just called bad behaviour. Yes I want to raise awareness for ASD and hope people do begin to see past bad behaviour in children on the spectrum but there is only so much you can do. The thing is Little mans use of swear words has become so bad Its making me avoid taking him anywhere. I can’t help worrying what others think when they hear his disgusting fool language during an outburst of rage. I tell him off though my tears of shame. My father used to go ballistic if me or my brothers and sister swore. If we ever dared swear at an adult we would be punished to the highest standards but saying that I don’t think it ever happened. We were pretty polite children. I try to stress how important it is not to swear, I tell him it doesn’t sound big, clever or cool. Sadly I just think that now his using certain words without even thinking. A swear word seems to appear in every other sentence and a habit is forming . A very embarrassing habit! As a parent to a child with Asperers I feel that life will alway hand you a problem to try and over come. Once you have mastered it something else comes along. It’s like one long test. But as a friend once told me God will only dish out what he thinks you can handle. Being a parent full stop is a learning game we parents of the ASD child just have a little extra to get through. I guess I’m just finding this one a little harder to overcome.

Techniques I have tried to help stop little mans use of bad language.

  • Taking away his belongings.
  • No playing  outside with his friend next door.
  • No treats.
  • Pocket money lost or reduced.

I know that following a punishment though is important with all children. there times I caved but as the behaviour has become worse I have  stood my ground and Little man has hindered his punishment but still with no long-lasting effects. So this is to all you parents out their that have been though it. I need your advice! How do I reduce his swearing and then finally stop it?  All suggestion welcome from parents with or without children on the spectrum.

Something has got to be done. If little man is like this with me and other family members he must be using the same language in the classroom. I already know he is rude to stuff and has problems separating Children and adults so I think that this could be highly likely.

HALF TERM BREAK DOWN

9 Apr

OMG Yesterday had to be one of the hardest days yet! Little man almost killed me.

We went shopping ( If you read past post, you will find that shopping sometimes leads to trouble in my family ) But little man seemed to be on best behaviour, yes I was checking out the shops in Bromley town centre with a smile on my face. We went to Game little mans favorite shop, had some lunch, all was going well. We went to grab little man some new track suits. I also needed a few bits, I wanted some pjs and a top. 

“COME ON MUM HURRY UP”

Little man likes to head for what he wants, he becomes the boss when shopping. After a good half hour in the shop we hit the till. The Que was long and the shop was hot. I just wanted the sofa and a cuppa tea if I’m honest. 

“YOU HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU GOT MATE”

“YER MUMMY, ARE YOU”

” WELL NOT REALLY AS YOU WOULD NOT LET ME LOOK AT ANYTHING. BUT IT’S OK “

The next thing I knew he had dashed of and was heading for the stairs. 

“G COME BACK” I chased him down three floors. Once on the ground floor he picked up random items of clothing from there rails

“YOU WANT THIS? HAVE IT! ” 

“YOUR SELFISH MUM” He said this as he dashed items of clothing at me.

I have never seen him this bad, my face was burning red. I but the basket down and said lets go.

“PICK IT UP NOW MUM”

I refused and headed for the door.

“PLEASE MUM I’M SORRY” OK I weakened and gave in but as we waited again he began to rage and shout . I was shamed I wanted to cry but could only laugh. I don’t know why this was but I think it was nerves. Yes I have had stuff like this happen before but this was different his words were nasty. The whole shop stood and watched. When It was my turn to pay I was close to tears. 

“YOUR A GREAT MUM! MANY OTHER PARENTS WOULD OF LOST IT BY NOW” 

This is what the lady at the check out said to me. I think her words just about got me through it. I payed for my shopping, all the time little man stood behind me shouting pay for my clothes now. I could fell all the eyes, hundreds of eyes fixed on my next move. What was my next move ? Well it was simple I took his little basket of stuff from his hands ( He likes to have his own basket ) then I said NO!

“PAY IT NOW MUM” He even went on to swear at me. 

“NO, NO, NO”

As I turned to leave he grabbed the basket and dashed it onto the floor. My god I was going to cry. And yes I did once outside, I cried and cried. I phoned my husband, little mans dad. We got a cab home I wanted to stay in doors and hide. FOREVER.

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