Tag Archives: 2010

The Highs and Lows…… 2010 in a nutshell (Part2)

5 Jan


Hello everyone…. Happy New Year, Here’s hoping 2011 is the year for all of you (Myself and little man included)

As you can see… Me being me, this post is a little later than first intended! I really did mean for part 2 of my blog to be posted on New years eve so it would be my final post to the year. Well things didn’t go to plan and with a zillion other things to do, It just never happened…. Well as I’ve often been told… Better late then never. With that I will leave you with part two of the post, “The highs and lows… 2010 in a nutshell”

July….

July was a month made up of tears and meltdowns… It was a crazy one. Another multidisciplinary meeting was held at the school, I had finally received  the letter from the LEA refusing to carry out a Statutory Assessment of Little mans special educational needs… This meant I could finally prepare and lodge my appeal to the sen first tier tribunal. The overall outcome of the meeting was for the school to resubmit the Assess 1 (Which basically means… again requesting the LEA carry out a statutory assessment, only  this time the school will be do the requesting, rather than myself. Little man had now been observed in school by a number of outside agencies who were all in agreement that Little man could not cope in a mainstream school and would require a statement of Sen and a placement in a Specialist school. It was decided that when the school request the assessment they should also request that the LEA find Little man an emergency assessment place at a “special school” better suited to meet his needs. The meeting was a highly emotional one for me, I hate crying in public, but I spent most of that meeting in tears! What was read out by his 1-1 teaching assistant and his outreach worker was heartrending to have to listen to. There was one part that even stated…. “Other children are afraid of him! I really like his TA and know she was just stating her observations, but I felt like screaming “His just a little boy… Not a monster”

I tried to raise my concerns over trips but….. I was told that we could discuss this after the meeting! ” Why couldn’t we talk now?”…. This month it all got to much and I felt I had no choice but to lodge a discrimination claim with the tribunal. I did however offer plenty of opportunities for the school to simply apologise and change things so we can fix this sorry mess and concentrate on my Little mans floundering education and emotion well-being being. I heard nothing and instead felt ignored. I was angry that they felt such treatment can be justified… No matter if we win or lose the tribunal, I will be able to hold my head high knowing I did what I considered to be the right thing for myself and my child. It’s not about hate or bitterness…. It’s about a ten-year old that now has no school placement and has been placed in this worrying position because the early interventions, we so badly needed… Were never there! Who listened when I expressed my concerns four years back? Not one off them… Now we are here and my son is a ticking time bomb:( I would do anything to help others avoid such a stressful situation…. No child should be in this position, nor should their parent(s)

The Relationship between myself and the school has become incredible strained… I hate it… Every time you take your child to school you feel that awkwardness floating in the air…. Horrid, horrid situation to find yourself in! It’s just not productive at all!

One a higher note I was contacted by the TSS (tribunal support service) Where I was offered an interview for the training programme that would enable me to become a TSS adviser. First I would need to pass the interview followed by the first module…. If I passed I would then have to pass the following nine for an invite to the two training weekends …  This was fantastic news, and was made even better when I  passed the interview… Yay!

August…

August I’m jumping for joy… Literally jumping up and down like a crazy woman! My reason…. School summer holidays of course. Yes Little man is hard work but then again his sister has a cheeky side too. I would take anything god threw at me right now as long as it isn’t school related! I really don’t think I can contend with one more day of it!

We went on plenty of day trips… Some of these trips little man coped with brilliantly, others were not so good. Of course we indulged his special interest and went bus riding a number of times, But we also embanked on a number of other fun trips. One was to Southend On Sea with my mother and younger sister It was fantastic…. All three of my children loved and the stinky Southend sea air must have got my little man in a pretty good mood as he was happy chap throughout the day. This was also the month that we went to Chessington World Of Adventures, courtesy of Merlins magic wand…. Who we are most grateful to for making our day so brilliant. We were not made to queue for rides and was shown on each one using the rides exit entrance. This was great as it was two hourly waits on most rides and can you imagine that! Little man would be abusing the whole theme park within ten minutes and that’s being generous. Despite this Little man had two mini meltdowns…. One on the train & one on the way there, and the last while in the park. But on the whole a great day was had by all.

August was the month the LEA sen team wanted to play silly buggers. First the tribunal refused our appeal in relation to the LEAs refusal to assess… As we just missed the deadline… But thankfully five days after this, the decision was revoked and overturned. With this the LEA suddenly wanting a mediation meeting…. “Funny how they ignored my calls when I was requesting mediation… Just goes to show, how they operate…. So carless and thoughtless… It all boils down to money.

I also made my discrimination claim on this same month.

Oh… I passed the Module, so on the training programme now. nine more to go and pass.

 

September….

So the day I had dreaded arrived… The children’s first day back at school was here! I felt apprehensive about what lay in store for little man. Anyone would think given the children had been off school for a long six weeks and little man seemed to be at home more than school in general… I would be pushing them out the door, with an over enthusiastic wave & a smile! That so wasn’t the case. Little man wasn’t sleeping till the crazy hours and I knew he was worried about his return to school. I also knew that given the fact he had made one or two friends with his peers, he was also quite eager to attend. I held onto the comfort that he still remained with the same teacher whom he had the year previous, “At least that was one change he wouldn’t have to contend with” I was hopeful that the school had changed their ways…. As since we spoke about my unhappiness… The exclusions had faded, fewer calls were made. Things seemed to have calmed to some degree. Little man worried himself sick about other changes that were to take place. Some being…. New Class room, his workstation being moved, and the biggest…. The introduction of school uniform!

First day back his visual schedule was not in place causing huge meltdowns at home and school refusal on just day 2 of the new school year. If this wasn’t bad enough, Sensory overload was now an issue… The school shirts were driving him potty, yet it kept being insisted that he tucked it into his trousers… To which he would bluntly refuse. This situation became tensed and once more he had to be kept at home. Then all of a sudden the phone calls started once more and sadly so did the exclusions. Again these coincided with trips and activities…. YES ON ALL THREE EXCLUSION! Another chain of three just like those in March! However these were much closer together…. 17th, 22nd, 28th…

October….

The last exclusion of September was for a period of five days but they had no intentions in having him return, what with no reintegration meeting booked but instead a meeting at the local pupil referral unit with its 50 foot high prison style fences and what could only be described as security guards that walked up and down with keys hanging from their belts like prison guards. I went with my mother, they visited us at home, then lastly I took Little man. Lets just say…. “He didn’t wanna go!” and that was good enough for me.

Little man also celebrated his Birthday on the 1st- October while on exclusion. His father took him out for the day doing his two favorite things! “Bus riding and shopping” the latter only counts if it’s shopping for himself!! Later that evening we had a few people round one being a boy from his class, who stayed for tea and Birthday cake.

As we had no date for Little mans return to school… And the fact he was now on day 7 of his five-day exclusion I decided enough was enough and took him back. The LEA had decided to carry out the Statutory assessment of little man special educational needs! “*Fan-bloody-tasic* at long last some excellent news” This also meant we were done to one tribunal date as opposed to the two. The Educational Psychologist came in to observe Little man in his class the day he return following a conversation I had on the phone with her the night before. However the school wouldn’t allow her to observe him in his classroom alongside his peers so this was carried out in the school library with myself present. He was like a caged animal being hidden from the world. After the assessment from the Psychologist I spoke to the Head teacher who suggested that it would be better to take little man home for the remainder of that day, and to bring him back the following one. It was also suggested that he should be isolated all day (work alone with a TA in the den) this had been agreed for the mornings  as to allow him time to reintegrate back into class, however the whole day was out of the question, and with that I started flexi schooling (homeschooling from midday)

Over the month things began to worry me! Certain little things Little man said, his sudden outburst of anger, but most of all that look on his face every time I had to break his heart and tell him “No you wont be attending this trip or that activity… I’m sorry” The worse was the trip he was made to miss at the end of September (He was only excited as it involved traveling on a coach) Little man spent the week policing children as an attempt to make sure the trip would not be removed from his grip! Only to end up the only child not going!

After this emotionally tiring month it got that bit more depressing when….. A large section of our ceiling came crashing to the floor just as it did less than one year before. The ceiling and walls had only been fully repaired a few short months ago. Turns out the plasterers had gone through not one but two water pipes that connected to the radiators in the above bedrooms, when he had attached the new plaster-board. This resulted in the pipes slowly leaking for a year…. “And boy did I know it!”

regardless of these horrors above…. Some good finally came… I PASSED ALL MY MODULES! I had struggled to get them done what with my crazy home life and often did them throughout the night. I never expected to do as well as I did.

I will now attend the training weekends on the first weekend of November and the end of November.

Here’s my good news email…

… Hi Claire,


Hope you are well!

Just a quick e-mail to let you know your module results which were as follows

mod 1- 99%
mod 2-98%
mod 3-98%

mod 4-97%
mod 5-98%

mod 6-100%
mod 7-98%
mod 8-100%
mod-10- 98%
mod 9- to follow as not yet marked

Extremely high marks across all modules, well done!-just one or two marks knocked off for lack of details on a couple of q’s and Re-module 10, question 6- It actually does matter who makes the request for statutory assessment, it is only if it is the parents or the school  make the request that they have a right to appeal the decision-if it is a social services or request from a medical professional they don’t ( although to be fair it is nearly always the parents/school who make the request) section 329 and 329A of the 1996 Education Act.

Sorry all… *giggle* you must think I’m a girl with a bit of a large head! I really don’t mean to be… It just couldn’t have come at a better time! It picked me up and made me feel that at least all that hard work and long nights were not for nothing.


November…

What with the LEA deciding to carry out a statutory assessment, you would think things were looking brighter! The “Special school” we wanted Little man to attend on an emergency assessment basis, stated they could not meet his needs nor had space to do so. I had viewed the school and all I had been told was there wasn’t space! Well as some may already know…. If a school refuse on the grounds that they do not have a place to offer due to space the LEA can override this as it is said that no school is actually full. So I guess the logically way out is to claim “We can’t meet his needs”  The school refused to take him three times before the LEA gave up! Every other school that was approached some, even those that were so far out the area stated they did not have the space or cannot meet his level of need. It’s the school situation that is fueling his fire and I feel like I’m powerless to control this.

What with Little man being flexi schooled, and given how much his missed out on… Mum turned teacher (over night) decides to take her little man on my vision of a school trip! That’s right… I need to do something to bring him up as his self-esteem was so low and he was stating, “It would be better if I wasn’t born” Desperate to turn things around we embanked on our very own special school trip to the transport museum. He was in bus heaven! Remembering my own school trip days… I used the trip as a way to engage him the following day. He actually created a huge project with pictures, cuttings, bus tickets, pictures and drawings…. He even filled the sheet with interesting London Transport facts. extremely pleased was mum:)

It was in the first or second week of November that little man started going to school fall time for three out the five days. The next step was the whole five days. He was still in the den (nice world for isolation) in the mornings but afternoons he would be in class. We got to the middle of the week (Just three days in) When I got the dreaded call that I knew was going to be made that very day. It was the call to inform me little man was to return to isolation all day or if I didn’t want that, then the return to flexi schooling. How did I know this was coming? Because the following day Ofsted were visiting…. That’s how I knew! We reluctantly had to flexi school once more.

This was such a mess, and wasn’t of benefit to anyone but school.

MY high in November was attending the two training weekends… Not only did I have a bit of selfish “Claire” time but i felt like I was doing something to help those families that are experiencing what I have. “Support is like a rare gem… Once you get your hands on it you hold on as if your life depends on it”

I made new friends, and learnt a great deal. Best of all I passed the entire programme, so could now spread some love by doing my thing:)


December…

December is meant to be a month full of Joy & Christmas spirit. I wasn’t seeing much spirit being thrown in Little mans direction. Not when his being isolated from Christmas! This for Little man, For me, and for the family as a whole… Was the last kick in the teeth. We were not prepared to take this any more! This nightmare was being brought to an end. School placement or no school placement, we couldn’t afford to stick at it another minute! We were well and truly beaten down, then trod on! They had allowed for Little man to attend the after school Christmas party… However the few friends he had were ban from attending. I was told he was well-behaved during the disco, he had just walked around the dance floor 😦 So please explain your reasons for not allowing him back in the classroom for his class Christmas Party… For just one afternoon…. AFTER ALL IT’S CHRISTMAS! The best he was offered was a visit from a few of his class peers… By this I mean they come and observe him in his “caged environment” I have a lot of respect for his Teaching assistant as she understands him so much more than the others and if it wasn’t her in the Den with him them mornings…. Fear would have over taken over me. All though he likes this TA he had still become very low due to never being able to join his class. We got told at the meeting we attend this month that there was no intention of him EVER returning to that classroom… I could keep him in the afternoons if I still desired. It wasn’t in his best interest to go into the classroom and “enjoy” himself… Of course it wasn’t said in these words… but I don’t have ASD and can read body language a treat! They were clinging to the hope he is offered a placement in January, but if not he will have a new TA and remain isolated… “FUCK THIS!” (Pardon me) These people really don’t have his best interest at heart, Is it easy to sleep at night knowing that Little man is stressed like no ten-year old should ever need to be.

So we left and that was that!

We were told the purposed statement was being drafted and would be with us sometime the following week. Well that was the beginning of December and it’s not yet her today on the 5th January 2011. I’ve spoken to the Sen caseworker who has informed me It was posted today.

Tribunal is set for January for this reason I had to submit the evidence on the 6th December the day my sister was attacked. This resulted in some mad rush and high blood pressure… I scanned, emailed, and faxed at once…. It was pure craziness.

The end is a whole lot happier…. Aww… Christmas was beautiful…. A tad stressful but like dealing with a pussy cat compared the school or a meltdown Little man style.

So there it is… In black and white (With a touch of pink and grey) Our year in a post…. A nutshell was somewhat of an understatement I think!





The Highs And Lows…2010 in a nutshell (part 1)

31 Dec

What a year!!!

So much has happened in 2010 and looking back through my diary and reading some past post, I’m shocked at how much we’ve squeezed in!

Though it’s pretty clear from my reading that sadly the lows far out weigh the highs… …  It’s still them few highs that I believe have kept me sane throughout 2010 and helped my family pull itself through them Oh to many low days!

So Now I attempt to write a post that looks back over the 12 months of 2010…Regular readers can reminisce alongside me and those of you that are new hear can discover life so far in a nutshell!

January….

… The year 2010 started off as an amazing one! With my new son born on the 11th December 2009… I couldn’t have been happier. Little man was and still is crazy about his little bro. My family was complete, with three beautiful children I wanted for nothing. Sadly my baby became quite ill in the January at just 5 weeks old he had a bad chest infection (Severe Bronchiolitis), refusing to take a feed or just vomiting the whole thing up (exorcist style) we took him to hospital… Where we stayed for the next week and a half. He was fitted with a feeding tube that went through his nose, and had to be given oxygen for hours at a time to keep his stats up. I worried about my baby so much… But also had the added worry about leaving little man and his sister for so long. How would little man cope with seeing his baby brother with all these tubes? of course I worried about my daughter who was almost 7 but I knew she was stronger than her brother in terms of managing with her feeling and fears, She found it easier to discuss her fears and ask questions on things that would worry her (She was much easier to reassure and comfort during times like these)

The children visited and I would do my best to reassure them their baby brother was recovering well. Little man was becaming very distressed with the sight of all the tubes, as was his sister. A few days into our stay the baby got worse and contracted H1N1 and pneumonia. Myself and his father tried to stay strong for the sake of the children but we were going out of our minds with worry . A no visitors rule was imposed… Only myself (who stayed at the hospital) and his father were able to be with the baby. Little man was broken he couldn’t visit his brother and worried himself sick. His father would come and stay with the baby for a few hours while I would spend them few hours with the children. It was an incredibly hard month!

At last our baby came home and slowly I settled back into a routine of being a mummy of three.




February ….

… Having baby back home was  amazing. Little man had been having a few issues at school during January but I put this down to the change in routine (me staying with the baby at the hospital ect…) However things went belly up after extensive works started on our house. Our ceiling had fallen down in 2009 and was still not complete and the Walls had now started caving in around us. The job was a huge one that meant knocking down all remaining plaster (taking the walls back to brick) and re-doing them all from scratch! Works were planed to take a week. This was no place for a recovering baby and two young children… One who had sensory sensitivity… we knew we couldn’t stay and moved to my mothers. I visited my home every few days to check on things and collect my post ect.. I would leave in tears as it was like a builder’s yard with massive piles of dust. The works went way over schedule & we were at my mothers for what felt like forever! (No offence to my mum but we needed to go home)

Little man was stressed all he wanted was to be at home. Problems at school grew more difficult and I noticed I was getting more and more phone calls & letters from the Head & Deputy Head teacher. I wanted to ask the LEA to assess but was told by his school the LEA would not agree as there was more the school could be doing. Little man was given two unofficial exclusions on this particular month. Looking back now It’s very clear to me he was dealing with a hell of a lot and wasn’t handling stuff as well as I may of thought he was at the time… We were not at home and everything was different. Yet he was keen to attend school for the first time ever… He had even started to make some friends.


March….

… On the 1st March I made a parental request for a statutory assessment. Outreach services were asked to come in to school to observe, advise the school and work with Little man. This was the month Little man received his first official fixed term exclusion on the 3rd March… Things just kept getting worse. The relationship between myself and school was rapidly breaking down over my concerns about the lack of support and understanding that was being given to my son. On the 18th of March little man received his second fix term exclusion… And at the end of March I attend court for non school attendance for the period June-Dec 2009 (Little man was not sleeping at all and refused to attend school daily) As I stood in court like some harden criminal being fined… The school was busy imposing the third exclusion of the month via voicemail… Little man’s third exclusion within a few short weeks! Things were serious.

April…

… It was nice to get away from the stress of Little man’s school situation even if it was for just a few short weeks! Unlike many parents, I found myself dreading the Easter Half term coming to an end & the children having to return to school. It was nearing the end of April when Little man returned (two days after his peers as he was given a 4 day exclusion at the end of March that carried over to the new term) From the word go we encountered problems. I had a meeting at school which didn’t go well, I found myself losing trust in the school, and I felt though things were serious but no one was taking it that way as every concern was brushed aside! Little man was now always angry and his self-esteem was at an all time low. The LEA were not following the statutory time limits when it came to the six-week time limit for making a decision on if/if not to assess Little mans Special Educational Needs under the Ed Act 96 & the code of practice! I found myself having to chase people for answers… Only to then be told that they have decided to take it to panel on the 17th May weeks after the required time frame with no explanation offered! I felt like I couldn’t enjoy my new son due to always suffering the worry of the phone ringing, the fear of further exclusions or being asked to prepare my child to miss his break/lunch time or both, normally for incidents said to have happened a day or more before… I was becoming so down and feared that depression was setting in.

It There was one or two highs to the month… My birthday and spending it with the children, and the phone call informing me I had been accepted onto the Early Bird plus programme (dispute Little man being a tad over the age limit)

was world autism month and I was busy raising awareness for autism through blogging and my facebook group (that seemed to be touching the lives of more and more families thanks to the great support of members and the fantastic admins now on board)I started to notice that over time I had required some truly inspirational contacts & friends, who are some of the nicest, kindest people I know… All because of Autism.

May….

… For me, May was the month that I thought… “Can it get any worse?”,  “Was the straw that broke the camels back” so to speak! Having Only just returned from exclusion a few weeks pervious the exclusions started up again! On the 5th of May my little dude was excluded for one day! This was also the month the Allotment project started, resulting in what I can only describe as continuous acts of discrimination. Little man was either brought back from the allotment… With the school only informing me of such incidents a week or more later… Or he wasn’t taken at all. There were also weeks he found himself excluded on the same day as the project took place. Little man was given two exclusion this month on the 5th and 13th. We had a multidisciplinary meeting at school at the end of the month and it was agreed that the school could not meet my child’s needs, yet….  It was also this month that I found myself yet again chasing up the LEAs decision on the statutory assessment. I finally discovered by phone the request had been refused on the grounds his school could meet his current level of need and he was making adequate progress. This was my first real insight into the sheer twisted system supplied by LEAs… There was penalty more insights to come!

Although things were appalling at school, I started to gain more skills through the parenting classes for parents off children on the autism spectrum (Early Bird Plus) Meeting other parents who nodded when I spoke because they related to what it was I was saying was just heavenly. This was one of my reasons for creating the blog and the magnificent Facebook page… “I just love that page” I wanted to connect people as it can be a pretty lonely world if no one relates to you or your child, even if they pretend they do!.. Meeting parents of children like mine was uplifting and really brought me up from the lowness I had recently started feeling. I could speak to the staff running the programme without judgement, they even visited me at home… I was shown how to create social stories & the benefits of using visual aids (That we now can’t do without) I looked forward to Tuesdays and remain extremely grateful to the staff for agreeing to my attendance on such a beneficial programme.


June…

… After yet another blissful Half term… The children returned to school. Little mans sleeping problems were really showing its ugly head once more… despite the use of Melatonin. The month of June showed little or no improvement with the schools over use of exclusions… They just refused to take note on the effect they had! It was only impacting on his own mental well-being and his behaviour become more challenging not less. At home he was starting to have huge meltdowns and failing to cope with any day trips through fear of being rejected from them (even with his own family… he had lost all faith) Little man was excluded once again a few days into his return to school on the 10th of June (another allotment trip consequently lost) The LEA carried on rule breaking, resulting in letter writing on my part as a way to obtain the important letter refusing to assess in order to appeal to the tribunal… This I finally received it at the end of June.

Although things seem less than rosy in June it had a number of perks… Things may have gone overly sour in regards to Little mans education, but things started to look up for me and the family as a whole. I received an email from Nas inviting me to be interviewed for the training course to enable me to become an adviser for the Advocacy for education TSS service (Tribunal support service) We also received a fabulous gift from Merlin’s magic wand… Four tickets to Chessington World Of Adventures was much appreciated, and brought huge smiles of happiness across Little man and little sisters face! The sound of pure excitement filled the house and gave the family something fun to look forward to. Merlin’s went all out and helped us make up for all the school trips and activities my little dude was currently missing. The plan was to take the children to the theme park during the summer holidays that were almost upon us.


Well…… As you can see and it isn’t for me not trying… I just can’t seem to pack one long busy year into one single post without achieving some kind of world record for the worlds longest blog post (That’s if I don’t already hold the title!) So…. Time for me to wrap this up and continue from July through to December in part 2 tomorrow (Well it will give me something to do 🙂 ) I’m hoping you will all return to read about the highs and low of the last 6 months of 2010 🙂

TO BE CONTINUED…………

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