Wear It For Autism: Nominations Now Open

Has your life been affected by autism or do you know someone whose has? Do you know someone who is always putting others before themselves and deserves an extra-special treat? Nominate them now and they could be part of Wear It For Autism.

Wear It For Autism is looking for mums, dads, children and carers – who either have autism themselves or care for those living with the condition – to have a full makeover and take centre-stage in a stylish fashion event at London’s Vinyl Factory on Tuesday 10 September.

Nominations are open now until Sunday 23 June 2013. Celebrity judges, including Gail Porter and Adele Silva, alongside Maggie Paterson, Principal of Pineapple Performing Arts Covent Garden, will select winners from across five categories – mums, dads, young carers, children with autism, and adults with austim. All the winners will be treated to a top-to-toe makeover by styling experts and take part in the Wear It for Autism catwalk show.

Anna Kennedy said: “The idea behind Wear It For Autism was to spoil those who usually never get a chance to treat – or even think of – themselves. Living with autism can be challenging and extremely demanding, so we wanted to create a special event that will be fun for all involved, as well as raise vital funds to campaign for the rights of those with this disability.”

If you know a parent, carer or child affected by autism, or if you want to take part in Wear It For Autism, nominate now at www.annakennedyonline.com

Tickets for the show are available now, priced £25 each. All profits go to the registered charity Anna Kennedy Online, which supports UK families affected by autism, including providing small grants for educational and domestic resources

Sponsor’s for the event are, Littlewood’s,Toni & Guy, Pineapple Arts, London Beauty Queen and Mahogony

Shutting Down

I’ve been pretty silent, I know! Its not like me, not to blog for long periods of time, but these past few weeks have been different! I’ve actually been completely out the loop when it comes to social networking, my tweets have been few and far between and Facebook has been left unvisited.

I’m not to busy, I won’t lie! I’m not on holiday or having some girly time someplace fun. I’m at home, in pyjamas on the sofa mostly.

In my everyday life, my social commitments have suffered too. I’m not spending much time with friends, I’m not even answering my mobile or home phone when somebody calls. Its actually really stupid but I haven’t been able to complete the smallest of tasks. I dread having to do almost anything.

That’s how I knew…. The signs are all there, ones I’ve experienced before making them so apparent this time! Depression… I was depressed and knew I had to do something about it, and do so fast. But that was just it… I was lacking any get up and go which meant that the prospect of visiting a doctor or even booking an appointment to see one was all to much to bare.

Thankfully, I’m starting to feel myself again and though it will take some time to get on top of it all, I’ve started and that’s the hardest bit done.

So, why was she depressed, you may ask? Many assume its the pressures of parenting a child on the autism spectrum but for me that’s a little bit of a cop out. I’ve been parenting little man for almost 13 years. Since the age of 18 its been my life. I’ve since had two more children and being a mother to all three of my children has brought great joy into my life. Yes, when little man is refusing to get up from his bed or even leave the house of a morning I do feel a tad close to breaking point, but guess what? Its not made me depressed… I don’t think it has anyway!

The truth is, life can be a bit full on somedays and when all your problems collide that’s when things go a bit tits up. I can’t put my finger on just one thing and say its this whats caused this depressive period. That’s impossible!

With deadlines looming for reviews and guest post, I just shut off. This blog and that of my other were left at times for days without a post. With my hair thinning at age 31 years and my doctor telling me it was down to stress I just had to let go a little and remember what it was like to be me again.

I love blogging, that much I’m sure off. I just wanted to take a little me time in order to remember that.

So here’s to the continuation of blogging… Here’s to me smiling again.

Oh, and before I drop off, a message for the world! “If you ever feel like your slipping into a black hole of depression then act quickly to nip it in the bud! Many of us are not visiting our GPs, mainly due to the stigma associated with depression! Just remember its an illness and lucky enough its a fixable one too! To be the best we possible can we need to feel our best… Fact!

The Do’s And Don’ts When Parenting A Child With Aspergers Syndrome

Its not easy being a parent to a child on the autism spectrum! Actually… It isn’t that easy being a parent full stop!

Below are some dos and don’t, all based around the stuff I’ve learnt while parenting my little man. Remember, I’m just another parent like you! No, I’m not doctor or child psychologist and what works for us may totally not work for you. But why not have a read anyway… If anything you won’t feel do alone. Please, feel free to add anything within the comments sections:)

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So… Here it goes…

Don’t feel guilty if you failed to spot the signs at an early age.

Do remember that this is common for children diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome with many of them not gaining an actual official diagnosis, till their teenage years.

Don’t be to proud to ask for help!

Do fight for it, if those who are meant to provide it, withhold it!

Don’t force your child to be someone they are not!

Do show them you are proud of them for being the person they are.

Don’t assume its easy!

Do remember that parenting any child can at times be challenging.

Don’t feel you have to explain your child’s behaviour, every single time they do something that makes others stop and stare.

But do educate those who are willing to listen! The important issue here is, not to get stressed when out and about. this only makes things more difficult for both yourself and your child. Remember its ignorance and sadly many are guilty of displaying it!

Don’t restrict the activities you do as a family.

Do prepare your child for such occasions with the help of visual resources and schedules to avoid unwanted challenges on the day.

Don’t forget you have a life too.

Do take time out for you, whenever the opportunity arises.

Don’t assume that any two children diagnosed with Aspergers will experience the exact same traits.

But do make yourself aware of such traits, preparing yourself for what may lay ahead.

Don’t assume a diagnosis is your child’s ticket to the support and services they may need.

Do be prepared to battle for them, services! Yes, you’ll be expected to provide evidence showing why it is the help is needed.

Don’t just expect others to instantly understand your child’s diagnosis

Do be prepared for ignorance & denial. Sadly many find that its friends & family who display the worst reactions to the news of a child’s diagnosis. As for strangers…. I not don’t even notice the states as my son displays a screaming match at the local train station. Ok its never easy, but you adjust and get used to it.

Don’t freak out if your child develops an interest in something considered to be strange or unusual.

Do embrace and encourage all that your child loves regardless of its wackiness.

Don’t assume your child will have learning difficulties.

Do celebrate the subjects they excel in, and offer help and support to improve in those they are not.

Don’t base decisions on what you want for your child!

Do base decisions on what is best for them.

Don’t beat yourself up if you lose it! Meltdowns that go on for hours are likely to make you crumble.

Do remember that your human and your child still loves you ( regardless of what they may say).

Don’t be surprised if your child announces to the lady sat on the bus, that she’s old, wrinkled and looks close to death.

Do play games and work on activities designed to help your child avoid social mishaps like that of the above.

Don’t waste money buying your child the top branded toys, especially if they have failed to express any interest.

Do make them happy on Christmas morning if padlocks, staples and rulers were on their Christmas list.

Don’t be too disheartened if your child shows no interest in making friends.

Do have hope that one day that will change!

Don’t force your child to play with other children…

… But do teach them the social skills required to do so! Most children on the autism spectrum will eventually show a desire to interact and play with others.

Don’t waste your time looking for cures

But do look into therapies that have been designed to help your child better develop the skills required to succeed in both child and adulthood.

Don’t assume that just because your child doesn’t display certain traits during childhood they won’t during adulthood.

But Do remember maybes are not certainties.

Don’t try to make your child fit into society!

But do mould them as you would any child so society fits with them.

Don’t use complex language (metaphors and sarcasm) when talking with your child

But do try and teach them that others will to avoid miscommunications.

Don’t force your child to wear certain clothing, eat certain foods or attend certain activities.

Do be sure to research sensory processing disorders as their refusal to do any of the above could be and likely is related.

Don’t assume that your child with Aspergers will have the abilities to cope in a mainstream school (not all can)!

Do make sure you are open minded… Sometimes special schools are all your child needs to succeed within education.

Don’t use your child’s diagnosis as an excuse for unwanted behaviour.

Do remember that all children can be challenging and all are not autistic… You will learn the difference, I have!

Don’t forget to be mum to everyone

Do remember that siblings of children with Asperger’s syndrome may display unwanted behaviour or mimic their siblings traits as a way to gain the attention they crave.

Don’t assume your child will be bullied.

But do look out for the signs as statistics have shown that it is children like yours and mine who become targets.

Don’t force your child to believe in the mystical world of make believe.

Do remember that many child with Asperger’s syndrome like things based upon facts, the type backed up by evidence. If you can’t prove how santa gets round the world in one single night then chances are he will never believe. Just make sure he doesn’t share his findings with his siblings… Like little man has tried.

Don’t ask your child if you look good in a new dress unless you want blatant sharp honesty…

Do be prepared to be shown your love handles and chubby knees if you do.

Don’t believe everything the books tell you.

Do remember that every child has the capability to at least try and lie… Well, at least the desire to try and do so, is usually there! Its just that children with Aspergers are not all that hot at it! Little man usually cracks within minutes.

Don’t be so serious…

Do crack a smile, your child with Aspergers is more than capable of making you proud… Mine does.

Don’t just assume your child will tell you if something is wrong! Aspergers is a communication disorder after all!

Do be ready to put on your investigation cap, as you try to discover just what has upset your child… Remember they will expect you to just know.

Don’t feel that everything has to become a mission in life because of your child’s condition.

Do be prepared to be pleasantly surprised when your child shows you that something you thought would be impossible for them… is actually totally possibly.

Don’t waste time asking yourself “What If?”

Do remember that we have one life, Our own unique and special story. All children deserve to be brought up happy with stacks of love and great memories to support it. Our children will eventually grow up and fly the nest… Yes even those with Aspergers Syndrome! My point? Just enjoy your kids, never taking a single day for granted… Even those not so good ones!

Big fat Yawns

Yes, I’m tired… I look like poo and feel like it too. The past few weeks have been anything but leisurable.

I’m laid here on the bed blogging from my mobile, I can’t even be bothered to turn the Mac on as that would require me to sit up and right now that feels like an impossible mission.

So… An update! Little man went back to school last week having been off for an entire week with a sickness bug and a very sore cold sore (when you have Aspergers and a string of sensory sensitivities a cold sore is highly unpleasant) whats more his sleeping pattern became highly erratic which affected us all as a family.

Now I’m used to little man not sleeping to the early hours but something had to give. Little man wasn’t sleeping throughout the night at all and come the beginning of this week there was no signs of this getting any better. Having spent another entire night awake Little man started to settle down and become sleepy at around 6am. I, however had other ideas and decided I couldn’t take another day nor night of it and instead of crawling to my bed like I so wanted too, I instead used what little energy I had left in me, keeping the little man awake.

He wasn’t impressed and bad tempered was an understatement but in order to get him so tired that he’d have no option but to sleep that night I had him feed and dressed ready for school at 8.30am… Despite an entire sleepless night.

Some may say I’m evil and I guess in a way, yes I am! Yet it worked. Ok , he didn’t have the best day at school and my guess is he didn’t feel none to lively, neither, but he got home, ate dinner with half closed eyes and fell crashing into his bed at a somewhat alarmingly early 6 PM… Something I thought I’d surly never see!

Still, this hasn’t erased all his problems when it comes to sleep, he still struggles greatly…. Nonetheless, what it has done is remind him of the pure yucky feeling that comes with a day at school when you haven’t rested your eyes or mind for over 24hrs… And no one actually wants to feel that poo do they?

With this his been more eager to try to sleep at a reasonable hour. Its not been a 100% success story but when one wants to rest their mind it does become that much easier. With this there has been a slight decrease in the nightly antics! These include… Acting out his favourite WWE superstar entrance scene, talking non stop WWE to ones self and that of his constant note jotting on ideas for Mindcraft builds at crazy O’clock! I think maybe his trying to have a catch up, I just wished my body clock would now jolt so I could join him and do the same.

So… Now I’m yawning big fat yawns. Looking at the mess around me (seriously, there’s a fair amount) I think to myself… “Sod It” and instead I’ll bid you all a good night (or should I say good morning)?

Get The Answers You Require From The Talk about Autism Family Support Live Q&A Session

As a parent who has a child on the Autism spectrum I know how frustrating it can be looking for answers. Thats why I’m really excited to share some excellent news with you… Ambitious about Autism the national charity dedicated to improving opportunities for people with autism, who run an online community called ‘Talk about autism‘ have come up with the Family Support Season of live online Q&A.

The charity has come up with 4 discussion topics that parents with children on the autism spectrum voted upon late last year. The whole programme has been designed to offer both parents and carers professional advice from leading experts within the autism sector.

Each of the four sessions will take place live on the web over at the Talk about autism website. Finally parents will have the opportunity to get some of the answers they have been searching for whether its about challenging behaviour or socialising with peers the parent support season’s Q&A sessions will do its best to answer those questions.

The first session has already taken place back on the 16th January. The session covered the topic… ‘Getting the right support at school’ Nonetheless you can still read the entire transcript on the evenings topic over on their website. The session covered areas such as access to education, statements of sen, exclusion and more. The transcript is packed full of great advice what with the specialist advisers being Jill Davies, Manager of the Special Educational Needs (SEN) Helpline at Contact and Family, and Steve Broach of Doughty Street Chambers, who is an expert on the rights of ‘children in need’ and disabled adults. This was the first of four live sessions and a great success. Its my guess the remaining three will be just as valuable in the advise they offer.

The second live Q&A session is set to take place on the 30th January 2013 and the discussion topic is that of ‘Understanding & Managing Challenging Behaviour‘. The evenings professionals will be Dr Emma Douglas, a Senior Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) Consultant from TreeHouse School, and Richard Hastings, Professor of Psychology at Bangor University in Wales. So, if you are currently experiencing problems with challenging behaviour and are looking for advice this seems like a pretty good place to start.

As a parent to a young man with Aspergers Syndrome we’ve experienced our fair share of meltdowns and aggressive behaviours. Little man is 12 now and I often worry he doesn’t know his own strength when hitting out at other. We have had some particularly bad mornings before school when little man has thrown punches in my direction. His violence scared me! With a frightening temper I had to sought help but it didn’t come easy. I just wish there was something like the live Q&A session available back when I needed it. This topic will sure to be a life line for parents all over the world.

The remaining two sessions after that will commence on the 13 February 2013 & the 27 February 2013.

These sessions will be as follows…

Puberty, sex and relationships (13th February 2013)
Experts for the session: Lesley Kerr-Edwards, Director of Image in Action, and Professor Jahoda, Professor of Learning Disabilities at the University of Glasgow.

Supporting your child to socialise and make friends (27 February 2013).
Experts for this session: Jennifer Cook O’Toole, education specialist and author of The Asperkids Book of Social Rules – the Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens with Asperger’s Syndrome, and Andrew Swartfigure, Senior Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) Consultant at TreeHouse School.

Well, I’m definitely marking the 13th February 2013 in my diary. This is a topic that I myself have a number of questions in need of answering (googling can only provide so much)! My 12 year old is fast approaching puberty and don’t I know it! Puberty and the issue of sex is a hard enough topic for any parent to face but for those of children on the autism spectrum, it is an area of constant worry and struggle.

All sessions are live and will last one hour. Each live Q&A will commence at 8pm and finish at 9pm on the dates given.

To receive a reminder about any of the live support sessions visit the website and sign up for a reminder by email.

So, there you have it! Four great topics all live and interactive. How about popping along, maybe get a specific question answered or just follow the thread to see what others have to say. Don’t forget, all sessions will appear as transcripts following the live event allowing those of you who can’t make it on night, the opportunity to have a read. Who knows maybe you’ll still find the answer to that question you need answering.

Would love it if readers could share this on there chosen social networks. By reaching out we give parents the opportunity to gain the support they desperately need.

To find out how Live Q&A sessions work click Here

Disclaimer… This is a sponsored post for the autism charity Ambitious about autism. All words are my own.

His So Not A Morning Person

To say little man isn’t a morning person is somewhat an understatement. In all honesty, little man converts into something of a wild untamed animal whenever the day light appears.

So, you can just imagine the warm fuzzy feeling I get within my tummy whenever I need to wake him… NOT! Its actually a complete nightmare, one I approach with dread and even a little fear for what is waiting to greet me.

Well, I’ve come somewhat accustomed to little mans morning explosions and I normally just get on with the morning battle of getting him out his bed, followed by all the other tasks that come with it… direction into the bathroom, begging he gets dressed and finally the push he requires out the front door when his transport has arrived! Breakfast, I give up on… His just not the type of child who wants to eat anything of a morning.

Last week was particularly difficult when it came to little mans morning routine. On one occasion following a pretty long night involving very little sleep, he then decided he wasn’t going to even try and make an attempt at seeing the world… Understandably he just wanted to remain in his bed!

There was a lot of swearing and shouting from little mans end as I tried to get him up. He wasn’t budging and I wasn’t giving up.

His father came to help but instead the stress of the whole situation just had us shouting at one another rather than being a team it was like working with the enemy… Not great I know! Children, especially those like little man don’t need this. However as the escort stood at the door with his school transport parked outside the situation just got far to stressful.

With little man laid in bed screaming abuse at me as I refused to give in… Regardless of the waiting transport, someone had to break and thankfully it was him! He quite literally throw himself out of bed and right at me.

All this while his poor escort is stood at the door. I almost gave in, told her to go and I’ll get on the train with him! Nonetheless the thought of doing this was enough to keep me going on my pursuit to at least try to have a somewhat normal day.

Finally ready some 20 minutes after he was supposed to leave, I finally had some peace in the house (well, apart from the sound of the toddler playing with his Thomas the tank engine) but thats ok, playing is good, its meltdowns that leave me a crumbling mess for the remainder of the day.

Here’s to a better week next week!

Learning disabilities & Past Relationships May Result In Forced Adoption Of Your Children

This week I’ve learnt so much… I’ve learnt that the system is more twisted than I ever thought possible… I’ve learnt that within that system there are big fat stinking rats that only feed off money.

Personally, I’ve never really needed to deal with social services (SS). Yes, I’ve dealt with the child sen team and the education welfare officers, but social workers… No!

You see, I did once request their help. When your child has a disability and you have no respite… you request it… Of course I was turned down.

Then I discovered a friend of mine who is suspected to have a very mild learning disability, was being made out to be a bad parent. Why? Because she escaped a bully of a partner and requested help from SS as a single parent.

She did all that they asked of her. Parenting assessments, meetings, counselling. She was now in her own flat, her daughter (a toddler under 4) was in a great routine. She loves her child so devotes herself to making her happy.

SS come to the door regularly, she always lets them in. Why not? She has nothing to hide.

Then at a child protection conference they tell her that her child is too advanced and therefore at risk of emotional abuse in the future.

They also tell her that despite her being happy and away from the abusive father, its another reason her child may be at risk of emotional abuse in the future.

My friend feels that the parenting assessment she agreed to will save her. But it doesn’t! Instead it is 60 pages of hideous lies and over exaggerations.

They tell her to be prepared for the worse! They ask her family to prepare and consider whether they may want to care for her child. Yet there is no guarantees they will even be allowed too.

The child has never been hurt, abused, ill treated or emotionally abused! Further more my friend does not smoke, drink alcohol or take drugs… But this countries twisted child protection laws mean that she may well still lose her.

I, convinced this couldn’t be right, searched online for something to ease her mind. But I couldn’t find anything. All I see is report after report about SS targeting single mothers, especially those who have been in past abusive relationships or have a learning disability.

These are mainly mothers of children under 3 years…. Mothers who’s children tick the adoptions most wanted boxes and therefore find themselves at risk of forced Adoption .

Now, I’d heard bits about the family courts when it came to secrecy. But I was at the most part extremely naive and found myself shocked to discover how 200+ mothers are jailed every year when they try to speak out about their case. They are gagged, the human rights act suddenly doesn’t apply. Mothers, fathers, families…suddenly Lose their freedom of speech something we are meant to be entitled to as living human beings.

Did you know that we are the only country who operate in such a horrifying way. Families are not given a fair trail, children are removed without crime and us parents can’t speak a word of it!

How is this happening… How is this allowed to happen?

Some may ask themselves why women stay with violent partners (or vis-visa)? Why don’t they call the police? For fear the children will be removed from their care… That’s why!

Some may wonder why so many parents fear the SS… Because cases like that of my friend… That’s why.

If you have ever been abused, have a learning disability or even a past mental health problem, then the SS can state your child is at risk of emotional abuse, and apparently risk is all it takes for them to take a child away from its loving parents forever!

You may think there has to be more to it! SS don’t take away children from loving mothers/parents without good cause. I used to think the same!

The only reason we think this is because we know no different! Why? Because every parent who leaves the family court is gagged… And that’s why the gag needs removing!

Instead of finding something to ease my friends mind, I’m now scared for her… I’m scared that SS will rip apart a loving family that have done nothing wrong but ask for help!

I’m also scared that not enough people know what’s happening behind closed doors and because of this they are in danger of it happening to them too.

Be careful… They are everywhere

Aspergers and how it really affects us as a family

Some people comment “It must be so difficult for you as a parent” My answer is always the same… “We’ll, I don’t really know any different”

You see, your born with Aspergers Syndrome and given little man is my first child it means I’ve been parenting a child on the autism spectrum for some 12 years now. It’s not like he suddenly got it and as a result everything had to change! You adjust from child free young women to mum and you adjust in the way that works for you and your child regardless of any condition or disability.

Ok, that doesn’t mean we don’t have difficult days… God only knows we do! But we have good days too.

The thing is, little man isn’t sick, his not got a disease but a condition. His a child that is very able he just struggles within certain areas of life but is able to learn skills to make these areas more comfortable.

There are some very difficult challenges that come from parenting my little man, the lack of sleep is most probably one of the hardest. But then so is watching him become extremely anxious and upset and being powerless to fix it.

I’ve mentioned before that for us the “label” isn’t an issue. It’s my opinion that many families need to acquire a formal diagnosis to open doors to services (that even then you have to battle to obtain them). Autism is a spectrum and although some families don’t feel the need to seek an official diagnosis, many others do.

A younger Little man with a younger Alice just before diagnosis

However, there are some downfalls of that diagnosis and that’s the way others suddenly treat your child. We found ourselves fighting a discrimination case that we brought against Little man’s old primary school as he was forever excluded, bullied, isolated and more. The good thing the label did do, was give us the grounds to bring a case and ultimately win it.

The truth is the official diagnosis helped us get little man the education and treatment programmes he needed! It didn’t change Little man, he was still the same little boy he was the day before diagnosis… Yes he had Aspergers he just didn’t have Aspergers on paper!

Little man with baby brother Harley now 2

In all honestly, life is much harder when your child has Aspergers but mainly because the system… It’s the system that needs fixing not the child.

Early intervention is extremely important as we all know. Nonetheless 18m to 2-year waiting lists to even see a child paediatrician is just diabolical! It’s in this space of time your child starts experiencing certain difficulties but has no access to the appropriate services! By the time he has the diagnosis the difficulties are now boarding on extreme yet your waiting another 18 months for an assessment for recommended treatment of appropriate programmes.

Little man’s siblings do often find things difficult especially Alice-Sara who has often experienced violence at the hands of her brother and his unpredictable behaviour. Yet, she has always been a sister to a brother with Aspergers and although this doesn’t make things different its still all she knows.

Another sibling war

We get on with things… We are presented with problems such as that above we tackle them and we keep on tacking them in till improvements are made. Sometimes these are made quicker than others.

I’d be lying If I said little man’s Aspergers didn’t affect us as a family… Of course it does! But life isn’t unbearable, it isn’t a total display of darkness. Days spent full of meltdowns and distress. Sometimes Aspergers doesn’t come into it! Not everything he does is down to an Aspergers trait, sometimes his just having an almost teenage moment and although behaviour can seem challenging its just that of being a child growing up and having a moment of hot headedness.

Aspergers is apart of little man but it doesn’t define every aspect of his personality and even when it does it doesn’t have to be in that of a bad way.

Aspergers makes little man more goal orientated and rule bound which can be an extremely beneficial trait for a young boy. He is passionate and honest (most of the time) and very intelligent in many areas.

Parenting little man has also made me change as a person. It’s introduced me to a whole new way of thinking. It’s given me drive and passion, opening my eyes to what it is I’m good at and what I want to do with my life.

It’s brought me here to this very blog, its got me writing, sharing something that’s important!

We’re happy and although somedays we may seem as though we are not! We are… We are happy!

Why I’m not looking forward to my toddler starting school

Who said it was meant to be easy.

They stand in little groups chatting to one another about their wonderful children. They sound as though they are almost in competition, yet desperate to impress one another.

Do I wish I was stood there with them. One of the mums who gets invited around the chief mummy’s house for a cuppa and a biscuit… No, not even for one minute!

Its strange, we see these social gatherings happening when we were at school! Yet some 15 years on its almost the same. Even stranger still is the fact that half of these social gatherings consists of the exact same people only older. They are now mothers themselves yet still raise their snobby little noses just as they did when we where teenagers.

I can’t sit here and label all mothers in this way… After all I know I’m not. And I’ve seen others who give a friendly smile and a node as they walk on by. But on the whole they keep themselves to themselves.

I have nothing against the mother who easily befriends every other child’s mother in their child’s class! However I do have something against the ones who make the business of other mothers their own and everybody else’s for that matter. Worse still they never normally seem to get the gossip quite right, resulting in some top notch bull shit or another flying around the community you live in.

I once read in the paper about two mothers kicking off at the school gates with their children present and of course everyone else’s. One mother was so badly attacked she was hospitalised while the other was taken of to the cells for some cooling off time. Another horrendous story I saw splashed all over the national news was that of a father attacking another father during their children’s Christmas production. The guy actually bit of the other guys finger and spat it out like some sick animal. I only hope they got the children out of sight because that’s the stuff of nightmares.

I’m not worried about having my finger bite of or anything (though that wouldn’t be fun) I’m just expressing my point which is “School playgrounds can be hellish places, not just for the pupils but for that of their parents too!”

So… Why am I banging on about all this now?

It’s simple… I’m already fretting about the day that will come and see my youngest child take that giant leap into education. His now almost 3 years old, and the time so far has just flown by. Before I know it I’ll be there… And again i’ll be stood in the playground with a new group of mums.

my youngest Harley almost 3

As regular readers will already know, When it comes to schools I seem to always have some kind of crappy issue. History is my proof.

I know that my eldest child being on the autism spectrum meant he didn’t fit in with his “Typical” peers and this therefore meant that I as his mother failed to fit in with their “Typical” mothers. Well, lets be honest here… I never overly tried! Friendships just happen and don’t need to be pushed (some need work but these are existing ones). If I don’t instantly click with someone then its 98% chance I never will.

I remember when we’d be stood waiting in the infant playground for the bell to ring indicating the start of the school day. Up in-till that point, little man would be running around like a rabbit with headlights. He’d bump into everything and everyone. Some may think… “And what? Isn’t this what boys do?” And to a certain extent, yes it is! However, little man had no regard for boundaries. He’d just roar into another’s conversation… Speak his mind and therefore say the most inappropriate things (normally stuff I’d actually be thinking but never likely to say aloud). He’d run and grab footballs from the ground while others tried to play a game and many peers therefore saw him as a really big pain in the butt! Me, I’d be dashing about after him like a crazed headless chicken, failing miserably at any attempt to catch him let alone control him. Mothers would stare, some shaking their heads and tutting, others turning to their friends in disgust. Whenever Little man dared attempt to approach their child they’d quickly be dragged away and warned “Don’t play with that child, you hear me?”

I hate it when parents act like my child is some sort of diseased being. They look at him like his some little demon child who could potentially convert their child into something similar. I used to let the ignorant stares upset me and remember that at one stage what others thought meant a big deal to me. But in all honesty you cannot spend each waking day like this. Yes you can advocate for your child but running after every parent who looks at you slightly funny probably means you’ll be spending most of your life running. Yes, I’d be a lot fitter but I don’t fancy it all the same.

So, there you have it! This is one of my many reasons I’m dreading the toddler starting school. I just wished he stay little forever.

Little man just about to melt down.

Dear Little Man

Dear Little Man

One day I’ll set you free, you have my word on that. I’m sorry you feel held back…. I never wanted this.

You see, its not that I don’t trust you because honestly I do. It’s them I don’t trust, those in this world can be so crawl, more than I hope you will ever need to know!

I know you feel it’s so not fair when the boy next door you’re age goes everywhere. You think its because you have Asperger’s that I worry and say I’m holding you back,! Maybe you’re right, but only a bit… I just don’t think it’s safe out there.

Your just 11 years old, still so young, so much to learn. I am your mother and it’s my job to keep you safe from others.

You go to the park the local shops too, but to have you go far would be a worry to myself and others.

I hope that one day you’ll see that everything I do, I do it for you, not me!

As the days tick away and the years grow closer, your Independence and awareness will be much much stronger.

Little man… its difficult for me… I just love you and want to keep you safely near me.

So… please dry your tears, because with time you will see, that all that I do is simply because I care so much for you.

Love mum