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#HAWMC Day 8 – A conversation with a boy with Aspergers

9 Apr

“Will you please fetch a glass of water for me please?”

“Mum…. Do you think my name is Edward?”

“Excuse me… Edward?”

“Yes…. Edward!”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh… Mum… I’m being sarcastic!”

“Ok… But I don’t get what you mean!”

“Edward… All butlers are called Edward and I’m not your butler!!”

This is a conversation i had last week with my son who has Aspergers Syndrome. Such conversations can often cause me to chuckle. Little man often sees everything in black & white, metaphors are not always understood so as his aged I’ve tried to teach him a little about sarcasm, with this being the result! Why does he assume all butlers are named Edward? Because two films he has watched recently both had butlers, both called Edward!

This post is 8/30 in the #HAWMC for Wego Health (30 prompts, 30 days, 30 post) this is yesterday’s post (I am still catching up after the madness of the last couple of days, post 9 to follow).

The things they say

16 Oct

I’ve talked about Little man’s Literal understand and way of thinking a number of times here on the blog. This way of thinking means Little man tends to come out with some classic lines.

When a teacher told Little man to be co-operative, he stated…“What like the Co-operative food shop?”

“To many this is better known as the Coop”

Yes quite cute, still… if he had been in mainstream, that would have been recorded as sarcasm, documented and even worse, it would have lead to a nasty sanction.

Many of the misunderstanding that occurred during little mans days in his old mainstream primary school were caused by a lack of understanding.

Over and over again I would express the importance of “Not using metaphors when engaging in conversation with my child” yet those that did, continued to do so!

It was only yesterday I came across a report by the ASD outreach team that clearly stated that teachers needed to reframe from the use of ambiguous language when talking to my child.

What really tics me off is when somebody raises their eyebrows, turns to me and states…

“Well, I’m sure he understands what I meant”

A statement I’ve heard far to often!

“No, he bloody well doesn’t! What do you think I’m stating this stuff for, the fun of it? Where I’m standing, its far from fun!”

Recently I had a conversation with a stranger (Gosh, look at me talking to strangers) actually this was an elderly woman sat next to me on the bus who seemed quite pleasant. Well, that was in-till she stated her grandson had been diagnosed as having the

“naughty boy condition!”

Hang on a minute…

“The what… ? Sorry, You’ve lost me!”

She continues and finally goes on to say

“Autism! What a load of old cobblers”

Seriously, at first I remember thinking, ‘What an oldie thing to say” (Yes I know, now who’s being stereotype).

Then I thought, “Wow, another day, another person tanked up with ignorance.”

You see I’ve faced this type of ignorance a number of times and looking at her I knew what was coming next! “It wasn’t around in my day”

I was bang on as this did shortly follow.

“Oh, my own child has the naughty boy disorder”

Needless to say her face glowed an awesome shade of red and we didn’t talk for the remaining ten minute journey time.

I wasn’t angry, I’m past all that! I just pitted her way of thinking!

How can you blame this society for thinking the they do when our national newspapers label disorders such as ADHD and others like it,

‘The naughty child disorder’ that entitles parents and carers to drive around in new cars that are paid for by the DLA.

Do they not release that in order to get a car your child’s condition is likely to be tied to other conditions that affect the child’s mobility! No, I guess not! After all the national newspaper in question only bothered to go by the one statistic, which was the number of claims that relate in some way to ADHD. My guess is these children didn’t all just have a diagnosis of ADHD like many will know it’s a condition that is closely related to autism and many children carry a diagnosis of both.

I’ve seen parents with a child who really could use that car, lets not forget, most of the cost are met by funding it through the money they would usually be given in the form of payments. This money is given to meet the child’s mobility needs, not care, this is a different thing altogether!

Yes, of course there are some driving their pimped out bimmers when yes, the car could go to a much needy family (your always gonna get them people) yet, isn’t this the same as every other benefit? The system is a mess, not just one section of it! All of it!

I wasn’t angry about the article, I don’t let myself get that way anymore, I again pity those that wrote it and pray their child is never born different in anyway (I must state, “NO I DON’T HAVE A CAR PAID BY THE STATE, THAT OF THE TAX PAYERS MONEY, I DON’T HAVE A CAR WHAT SO EVER!” You may have already worked this out what with the above description of my recent bus travels with the elderly, but I just wanted to make that clear!

I believe a great deal of the issues our children face are due to that of others misconceptions. This could be anything from the way they talk, understand or behave in public.

Another bus incident (isn’t surprising given buses are little man’s main focus within his special interest in transport). We got on his favourite bus (the one with the one very high seat with a pane of glass right in front of it). The seat is basically right up their by the driver and little man like’s nothing more than to sit in it, in-order to play the role. Only this one time somebody was actually sat in “his seat” He stood there staring just waiting for the woman (middle aged) to move and let him sit down. When she didn’t he claimed quite polity too,

“Excuse me your in my seat”

she went from a look of disbelief to a giggle when stating

“Listen sunshine, has it got your name on it?”

Now their was a double whammy right there! ‘Sunshine’ & “… has it got your name on it?” was bound to confuss

“My name isn’t Sunshine”

he claimed while giving the chair a once over to see if it had his “Name on it” Of course I was trying to get him to come and sit somewhere else without any bloody luck what so ever!

He actually went as far as asking her to stand up so he could check the cushion for his name.

“Is this kid for real?”

was something she asked aloud!

before mumbling under her breath something that sound like,

“sarcastic little…”

Again she displayed that adorable shade of red all over her face when I annouched that.

“His for real all right! and so is his autism”

We don’t tend to use the word “Aspergers” some don’t seem to have the foggiest idea what I’m banging on about when I do!

So, there you have it! My little dude can say the funniest of things but these can also have a flip side, one that unfortunately leads to the same old thing…



13 Mar

I was sat in my living room reading when little man pops his head round the door.  ” You busy mum?” If the answer to his given question was yes it would not of made any difference to him at all, so I just shook my head. By this point he was already deep in conversation which I must add was at super fast speeds.

“Please slow down mate”

With this he throw the note pad which he was holding on to the floor.

“You never listen to me never, never, never”

He was still shouting stuff as he marched up the stairs banging his feet extra hard. This is something that drives me insane ( not the banging his feet but the whole situation ) He hates, No he really hates having to repeat himself! He just don’t get to gasp the fact that I’m not always able to turn on the SUPER listening device. Now having done this whole thing to many times to count, I know how the next hour of my life is planed out. It’s always the same. He stays upstairs for a bit, he then comes down but wont talk to me but talks about me. If his sister or dad are not home he will often talk about me to himself, out loud or even  the dog. There are times when it’s so very hard to contain myself from laughing because he says the funniest things that even though I’m used to him doing I still can’t believe what he is talking about. He sounds like ones husband a real little man (grumpy man in fact ) But God forbid I laugh, as by doing so it becomes the worse mistake of my life and boy do I pay! for it! But that’s a completely different post all together We can share the don’t ever laugh at a boy with Asperger’s later.

I used to chase him up the stairs trying my hardest to explain that yes I was listening but just got a little lost. No way! I don’t go there anymore as this makes the whole hard goings on a hell of  a lot worse and yes longer. Sitting and waiting, sometimes hours is the best way to go about it. He will often act so mean to me ( sounds silly as his my child! but most mothers will be getting it. ) Then a few hours down the line he will come and ask me something or start a conversation. He just acts as if the last to hours of hell he just but me through over the silliest little things never ever happened. It’s not that he forgot, Oh no. More he has chosen for it to have ended because his over it ( never mind me the one left with the thumbing head ) His like a light bulb that loses power for hours but then decides to come back on. It’s not just the whole you’re not listening thing that set of a little man mood . It’s a number of things! When his upset or angry about something, and I’m not doing something about it to make it easier for him. Reason being is because I don’t have a clue what the problem is but I’m “supposed” to just know with my mummy super powers. Moving his things is just one more trigger. I’m just more used to his ways now but I have to  be as what’s the use of a crazy mum? As in the beginning that’s were I was heading  CRAZY-VILLE.

SO WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO TELL ME THREE HOURS AGO? UM it’s kinda funny really he had written some changes in that note pad that had got thrown on the floor. Changes ? Oh yer Changes for what ? Well of course changes for this very blog. A list of stuff he wasn’t keen on , ways to make them better and lastly what he wanted added! How nice be informed by your 8-year-old going on 40 that your blog is S*** You know what else he turned and said to me ? That his now my boss, but don’t worry mum as I will see you alright!

Ooooook boss thanks for that!


8 Mar

So why have I called this post the Blue Lagoon?

In my latest post I told you about my shopping trip (lets not go there again) It was at this shopping trip that my son used part of his pocket money to get some bubble bath. Later that evening when at home little man decided it was time to put his new bubble bath to the test. So of he went to run a bath. So here I am sat on the sofa getting my head together, after the shopping trip I’m felling a little flat out! 

“MUM MUM MUM”  His not just shouting this, his screaming this’ and his got his little sisters help! Now im up of my chair and dashing up the steps three steps a time.

“What, What’s the matter?”

“Mum the bath look it’s blue!” Yes that’s right I have flown up the stairs at the speed of lightning because the bath is BLUE!

“It’s blue because of the bubble bath mate ” Alice gets me and is wanting to use some magic bubble bath herself. Little man his not getting it! His really not!

“I know mum. I put the bubble bath in and it’s bad and has something in it that may hurt our skin.”

Alice is trying to explain the magic in the bubbles but he don’t want to know. “Look! It says right her on the bottle that it’s magic and the bubbles turn colour once added to water. So stop being silly and jump in before it’s cold”

” No way mum. The shops are telling lies as there is no such thing as magic and no where on that bottle it says the water will turn blue. I like the bubbles we get from the other shop! I’m never going to get a different one again as something like this may happen. There’s no way I’m getting in there!” There is no way of trying to get him to see what I’m saying. His not silly but he just gets stuck in his way! Sorry to say this guys but his like most men can’t be wrong lol. Anyhow I pulled Alice to one side and told her she could have the magic bubbles but only when G is not around to panic. Her little face broke out into a smile and heading back downstairs I could hear little man telling Alice how he must write a letter to the Saver centre. His blue bubble could of hurt someone. He also said he would ask them why they wrote lies on the label? Magic is not true! 

It’s a good few days later and yes his still telling everyone we meet how he got the blue bubbles and they lied because magic is not real and everybody know’s that. When we visited my mum yesterday he began the story. I just told her to go with it and lucky for G she does. This is likely to stick with him for a good few weeks to come. 

So there you have it! That’s the reason I named this post The Blue Lagoon!

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