My Child’s Diagnosis Didn’t Give Me Depression! The SEN System Did That!

Its funny, Just recently I found myself engaged in conversation With a fellow parent at my daughter’s school. We were discussing depression, a subject I won’t hide from!

This parent reads my blog and is aware that depression has sometimes been a part of my life… More so than not.

So, if I’m ever asked a question I will try to answer it openly and Honestly. I’m not ashamed to say… “Yes I had depression” Why should I be? So, Having engaged in conversation for at least five-minutes with this lady I suddenly came to realise that there was some type of crossed wires on her part in regards to a depressive episode I experienced around 3 years ago! This started me thinking… Does everybody think the same way?

So I wanted to explain something, and do so very clearly! My son’s diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome didn’t bring out any episode of depression within me. My child being on the autism spectrum has never actually left me feeling depressed! However, what has had me running for the antidepressants is that of the things that come with that diagnosis (like it being stuffed in a brown envelope and shoved in your hands). I’m not talking in relation to little man’s autistic traits, his sleepless nights or sudden angry outbursts! I’m talking about the battles to get others to sit up and listen. Basically, It wasn’t my child’s Asperger’s syndrome that depressed me it was the system in which I now found myself battling with.

You think a diagnosis is going to change thinks. The right help and support will come and be handed to you on a plate… Well dream on, it most certainly won’t! I learnt almost instantly, that for some, my sons diagnosis wasn’t worth the paper it was written on.

Over the years I’ve come to realise that being a parent to a child on the autism spectrum makes you a stronger person. It gives you fighting power, the type you never even knew you had! Because when your a mother its not only your job to ensure your child has everything they need to lead a full and happy life but the love you have for them that drives you. Almost any mother can relate to this regardless if their child is autistic.

Battling schools for appropriate educational services, educating society about autism and getting your child’s voice heard is all part of the package but it doesn’t necessarily mean its going to come with instructions, and I guess it was this aspect of his diagnosis that hit me the hardest.

Being told little man had Aspergers Syndrome was hard, I can’t deny it! No matter how prepared you think you are, you never are… Not really! Even when you’re told by specialists that its almost a certainty and you’ve therefore done all your own research and have reached the conclusion that “Yes, they are right… you can see it too!” I guess its because it makes it all the more definite, more final! But what must be remembered is that little man was the same child he had been the day before receiving a final diagnosis and I wasn’t depressed then!

Its all to easy to assume that the giving of a diagnosis is the reason why a mother crumbles and starts suffering such conditions as depression. What one must remember is that its all that comes after… The fight to make others do the right thing by your child, its this that can really drain your energy both physically and emotionally.

So if your about to receive that final slip of paper enclosed within a brown envelope, then brace yourselves… As the battle begins.

Children Design T-Shirts To Try And Win Funds For The NAS

I love designing my own T-shirts and recently the children engaged themselves in such a task in the hope that they could win some money for the national autistic society (NAS) a charity close to all our hearts.

Alice designed a T-shirt aimed to create awareness for the siblings of those on the autism spectrum. Alice knows how difficult it can be to be a sister of a child on the autism spectrum. There is little or no support in our area for siblings of those with autism and for this reason they can be left feeling pretty alone.

Her T-shirt features the autism puzzle pieces and a very important message.

The toddler also had fun designing and then wearing his t-shirt.

The T-Shirt Design Competition is being hosted by polo-shirts.co.uk. They are encouraging under 17 year olds to get creative and possibly win £250 for their chosen charity… How cool is that!

Here’s what the people at Polo-shirts.co.uk told me…

“In order to celebrate the creativity and talent of young people we are launching a very special t-shirt design competition. So, if you are a budding young designer get your pens, graphic design skills and imagination at the ready and start thinking about what you want to put on our t-shirts.

If you are under the age of 17 we would like you to create a design to go on the front one of our t-shirts. There is no purchase necessary, participants simply need to draw the design, scan it in and email it to helen@polo-shirts.co.uk. The design can be of anything you want but if there is a special meaning or inspiration behind it please do tell us.

The participant with the winning design will receive £250 to donate to the charity of their choice. The winner and four runners up will also get their designs professionally printed.”

We are really excited about the competition and possibly raising money for the NAS. So why don’t you get creative and have a go?

Sadly it is a voting comp but as its for charity I did want to share. Hopefully the voting could be reconsidered and the winner chosen at random or for the entrants overall creativity?

Visit polo-shirt.co.uk for the full terms and conditions

The Big Fat Autism Myths

Still today we are surrounded by countless myths concerning Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. Yes, we’ve come far to raise awareness for autism and the fact its a spectrum condition but still many struggle to except that some things are myth as opposed to fact.

Here’s some great examples…

Those on the autism spectrum have late language development!

Now although to some extent this is true, its not always the case especially in those at the higher end of the spectrum (Aspergers). Little man actually said his first word at 5 months and was able to speak very well by the age of 12 months.

Children on the autism spectrum make low academic progress because of learning difficulties.

Again this maybe the case for some children, mainly those at the lower end of the spectrum. However, some children on the spectrum have no learning difficulties whatsoever with some actually having higher IQ levels than those of their peers.

All children on the autism spectrum cannot attend mainstream schooling.

Admittedly mainstream school admitted that they could no longer meet little man’s needs and he eventually gained a place at an autism special school. This was despite him being on the higher end of the autism spectrum with an Aspergers diagnosis and a high IQ. Like many children with Aspergers he struggled with the more social side of school and suffered terrible anxiety. The truth is children with autism can receive a mainstream education… It just depends on the child and school in questions.

People on the autism spectrum don’t have feelings.

This is a big fat myth! If anything Little man feels to much and its these feelings of love and worry that cause him to become anxious. For little man its just harder for him to express those feelings… I know they are there and that’s a huge difference.

People on the autism spectrum don’t have an imagination.

Again this is a big fat fib. Little man finds it difficult to play imaginary games as he likes to base things on fact. He also likes to have a visual reference. However little man uses his imagination in other ways and is extremely clever at creating ideas when relating to something of interest.

All people with autism hate loud noise.

This is all down to the senses and regardless of autism we all have our own level of tolerance. Yes, many people with autism have heighten senses and this can make loud noise very uncomfortable (often to the point it becomes physically painful). However as well as children with autism experiencing sensory sensitivity, some are actually sensory seekers and will therefore seek out some type of loud noise.

All children who like Thomas the tank engine are autistic!

What can I say… Total Bull S#%# Yes little man liked Thomas the tank engine and statistics indicate that many children on the autism spectrum have a liking for Thomas at some point, however lots of children love Thomas and not all are autistic… That’s just crap.

All people with Autism are the same. If one person with autism experiences a certain difficulty then so will another.

Rubbish! This is why we call it a spectrum. Plus no two people are the same, we all have our own traits with and without autism. Yes there are a certain collection of traits that make up an autism diagnosis but this is a limited number.

All people with autism are Savants.

As lovely a myth as this is, it is just that… A myth! We all have things we are good at but only some of us have what it takes to be considered as Gifted which is the same for those on the autism spectrum. Many people with autism have things they are extremely good at (like little mans ability to memorise travel information) but rainman he isn’t and this is often the case for many.

Autism can be cured!

Most know how I feel about this myth. Autism is a life long diagnosis… There isn’t a cure. However, with the right education and learnt social skills things can be made less difficult for those on the spectrum.

Autism is caused by the MMR

Many will argue with me that this is not a myth. However I do believe it to be just that. You are born with autism, you do not develop it at some stage of your life. You don’t suddenly become autistic. And you don’t become autistic because of a childhood immunisation!

People with Autism are good a math.

Admittedly, little man is excellent at Math, but I do know other children on the autism spectrum who struggle with math and therefore find it their most difficult subject at school.

Children with autism can’t grow up to lead independent adult lives.

Many people on the autism spectrum, especially those on the higher end of the spectrum go on to have fully independent adult lives. This includes having a job, home and family of their own!

The Big Bang Campaign… Keep it before 9 p.m

Remember, remember the 5th of November…

My guess is, many parents of children on the autism spectrum remember the 5th of November and remember it well!

The 5th of November is a night that will see the skies above us alight in an array of stunning, spectacular colours, but that’s not all we will see! Many of us throughout Britain will see not just our pets dart around the house in distress, but also a child or loved one.

Bonfire night is celebrated by huge numbers whether it’s by attending a large public display or hosting their own back yard antics. For some it’s a night of fun and laughter, a chance to meet friends, drink wine out of plastic beakers while eating hot-dogs smothered in mustard. For others it’s a night of hiding, turning up the TV and comforting their frighten child.

We grow up looking forward to such events, we loved them as a child and can’t wait to share a night stood by the bonfire with our own children. What is there not to like about this fun and eventful night?

Why don’t you ask that question to a child on the autism spectrum!

No, not all hate fireworks, but a large proportion of children and adults on the autism spectrum will spend the year dreading it! I wrote a last year about little mans fear of the firework! He thinks they are stunning and at a distance his not to bad with the big bang. But when there’s rockets flying about above his head, then bursting into a glittering infusion of colour, my child will likely do what I refer to as the “Army drop and crawl” Basically he fears the fireworks will come clashing back down on top of him, he freezes then drops, before embanking on his army crawl to safety. Despite this reaction, my little man could hold a sparkler all night long. As I explained before, it’s a sensory reaction, because the firework is above him and he cannot judge the distance between himself and the exploding firework, he then begins to fear it! My Little man feels much safer stood behind a pane of glass watching fireworks from the safety of his home.

For many people on the autism spectrum the dislike of fireworks relates to sensory sensitivity as-well as the dislike of “social gatherings”.

Even those who are not on the spectrum can have difficulties tolerating the loudness of a firework display, especially a big one! For the person with autism, this sensitivity to noise is sometimes so overbearing it causes actual pain. Now, can you even begin to imagine how hard that must be? I can’t and thank myself lucky that I do not experience such a difficulty. However this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter, because it does, it really does! Little man only has problems when we go out, so of course we avoid the public displays, or one parent stays home while the other treats the other children to a trip to our local display. That’s just how it is and always has been. I think that we are quite lucky, some children experience such anxiety that they require comfort from their parent throughout the night meaning little sleep is had by many.

I’m not trying to make you all feel guilty, nor am I saying this in the hope that you wont go to your local fireworks display or celebrate in your own way. I’m just asking that you all spare a thought for the families housing an autistic child or adult. I simply ask that as much fun as bonfire night can be, take a second to stop and think… Light your fireworks at a reasonable hour! Who is your neighbour, do you know a family affected by autism? Keep it early, keep it safe, keep it before 9 p.m.! That is all I ask!

“ Do you think that’s fair? If so, how about tweeting this post just once using one of the share button (tweet, Facebook, Stumble, etc.) located at the bottom of this post. You could even raise awareness on this one day, just by right clicking the image above and uploading as your profile pic on your social network” after all it is just one day!”

Are you Doing it for World Autism 2012

It’s here, World Autism Awareness Day and as promised today I’m doing it for autism by posting a picture while wearing something that resembles the autism awareness colours and holding up a card simply stating “Doing it for world autism” (yes, kids enjoyed creating the oversize mask).

This idea was one I put together quite late in the day but still remain hopeful that lots of you will take 5 minutes and snap and share a picture too? Bloggers can post them on their blogs to get the message out, as well as linking here, sharing on twitter using hash tag #worldautism12, share on the A boy with Aspergers Facebook page and anywhere else you fancy. What do you gain from it? Nothing other than the knowledge you took a few minutes to help raise awareness for children like my little man! You don’t even have to be a blogger just sharing your picture on twitter or our Facebook page means everyone can do it but only if they want too!

I’m hoping to collect enough images to create an awareness collage (You can see some old ones by clicking the autism college link in the blogs header).

So, what do you say? Everyone and anyone, whoever you are, wherever you are… Please help me raise awareness and stamp out the ignorance that surrounds us daily!

It will always be world autism day in our house and thousands others besides… Can you take five minutes to make it yours?

So… here’s my picture! Please don’t judge my smoking, it was one of those mornings, plus after Little mans refusal, I was simply filling in at short notice 🙂

Linky will be added to this post:)

Don’t forget to link up, you can do so for a month, though today is what its all about. Those who couldn’t get a picture but did a post instead, please do share it here too.

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• World Autism Awareness Day (itv.com)
• Help Me Reveal The Bigger Picture This World Autism Day (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
• Peete and Braxton spread the word on Autism Day (hollywood.com)

Our worse ever meltdown & coping with little sleep

Image via Wikipedia

I was going through documents I have stored on my Mac and came across this. I’m unsure of the reasons I wrote it, though I think it was meant as a guest post concerning “Meltdowns and a lack of sleep” I don’t even think I sent it to whoever was meant to feature it, so I’ve decided, instead of cluttering up my Mac, I’ll share it here with my readers.

The post comes in two sections, “Worse ever Meltdown” & “How I deal with the lack of sleep”

Our Worst Ever Tantrum

I have three children, a daughter of 9 and two boys! my toddler is 2 and his brother, my eldest is 11 years of age and has a diagnosis of Aspergers (a form of autism that results in impaired communication and interaction skills) and sensory processing difficulties.

My eldest, AKA Little man, has had more meltdowns than I ever thought possible! His increased anxiety levels and inability to filter out certain sensory stimuli has made meltdowns exhausting for all.

We’ve seen it all! Hitting, swearing, kicking everything and anything, throwing objects, slamming doors, running off and non stop crying! But nothing was to prepare us for that Wednesday evening on the 22nd September 2010. My son had received a high number of exclusions from his then mainstream school. He was taught in isolation, (Kept away from other children like a monster). My child was never allowed to attend school trips or participate in activities, this was lowering his already low self-esteem and I was becoming extremely worried. That evening I received a call from the head-teacher who informed me my child was excluded for the third time that month. I was promptly reminded that the Friday was in-set day (translated that means staff training day!) So, he would be excluded for the trip. He has missed trips for as long as I can remember anyone would think we were used to it! But this one was important he was looking forward to it so, so much because they would be going by coach (transport crazy) It was left for me to break the news and his heart. He didn’t hit me, nor swear, he sat deadly quite for a minute or two, slowly absorbing my words! Then shockingly he stood up and started throwing his entire body into the wall almost knocking himself out in the process. He scratched his own arms till they bleed, he slapped himself in the face over and over again and punched himself in the head while chanting, “I just want to be normal” Some five hours later, and a smashed up bedroom, I found him laid in the middle of the room amongst his destroyed beloved model buses. His eyes were so sore and red, his breathing still heavy that he continued to catch his breath. Yes, I’ve been hit, abused or embarrassed in public. His kept me up the entire night screaming and crying, yet it was defiantly this meltdown that outweighed the rest, It is one that has stuck firmly in my mind… Because for me it was scary to see a little boy, my little boy, react in such a way he could have seriously hurt himself.

Lucky his now in a more understanding school better suited to his overall needs.

Coping with little sleep!

I remember my health visitors promise some 11 or so years ago! She looked me in the eye and said, “I promise you he will soon get into a routine… babies always do”! Yet she lied to me, because that isn’t true is it! Not all babies do! My little man is no longer a baby but a lively 11-year-old boy He has Aspergers (a form of autism) and as soon as he hit three months old, he stopped sleeping! I waited and waited for that routine to come, the one she had promised, after all she was a professional right? Well, here I am, still waiting for that so-called routine!

We all need to sleep in-order to refuel our brains and boost our energy levels. I’ve often stayed awake for nights on end (which wasn’t done by choice)! When my little man does finally sleep, I struggle! Maybe because it’s only a few hours till I should wake for it’s a school day and I fear the attendance officer getting on my back, or maybe because I’m scared I wont wake to care for the children at all. I find I’m touchy and over emotional some days, where others I’m fine, I just get on with things the best way I can! Sleep really does make everything seem better, I just wish my son would believe it and give it a go sometime! I’m no super mummy and more often than not, after a few days awake I just suddenly drop! My eye lids become so heavy as if they have weights hanging from them! Seriously I find my self sleeping as I stand, clean, bath or even board a bus… which really isn’t a great way to be!

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• Top Three Tips To Get You’re Kids To Sleep (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)
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A week in Little man’s shoes

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Little Man’s  had a not so good week, lets just say it’s been somewhat trying! Sadly I had a funeral to attend at the beginning of the week after a family member passed over. Mid-way through the week Little man throw an unexpected yet almighty meltdown at 8 am and was impossible to clam! As his transport arrived and his escort knocked on the door to collect him, I knew it would be an impossible task to get him out that door, and it was just that! This resulted in him not attending school, despite my attempts to persuade him to leave the house and let me take him on one of his favourite modes of transport, ‘The Train’

In all honesty Little man has been a little off the wall the entire week. Of course the events of the past few weeks didn’t help, he finds it hard to understand how people pass on and especially so suddenly. It was only March this year that a friend of the family passed away, again it was sudden and confused Little man a great deal. After speaking to his teacher over the phone, I was informed that when the receptionist had called down to speak to the class teacher, Little man had answered the class phone and reported back to the receptionist when she asked to speak with the teacher, that she couldn’t come to the phone as she had died suddenly!

However it’s not just the whole situation surrounding death that’s bothering him, though I’m not actually to sure what else is.

I do worry somewhat, as I am still fighting the nightly battle to get Little man to complete any homework, this goes for the revision of spellings and even reading his reading book! He reads to himself, yet this doesn’t enable me to judge how well his doing in-order to report back to the school.

Another issue lately is the return of the tummy ache, through I think this maybe entirely anxiety related! His teacher reported in his contact book that he had suffered a good proportion of the day with this discomfort, I was called but was unfortunately out for the count (I dunno what happen that day, I just crashed out, but goodness… I must have needed it)! He did still have the tummy ache once home and after some soup and a little rest on the sofa, he perked up somewhat and trotted of to engage in a game of Sims (which I must add is driving me loony).

As for Little man’s sleeping, well, the Melatonin is now up and down! Don’t get me wrong, if he goes to sleep the pro-long release works amazingly, it’s just getting him to this stage. We made some amazing breakthroughs over the last month, he started sleeping in his own room (which he hasn’t done since hearing the horrid car crash that resulted in half a car rammed into the neighbours gate) So his progress was something to celebrate. nonetheless things again started to slip, and yes I held my ground when stating he will not drag his chair bed into my room but instead go and get back in his warm and cosy bed in his own room! Yet, my son has a fantastic ability to continue begging at my door some 2 hours after having first started and what with him and his sister needing to attend school the following morning, giving in seems my best option, well… at the time it does anyway!

That was a few weeks back, and yer… you’ve guessed it, he hasn’t slept the night in his own room since, which is also my own fault, though I’m just to tired to do consistent right now!

The upside to the week was a call I received from a psychologist at the Institute of Psychiatry, Kings College London. They are currently running a study to piece together the puzzle that surrounds child anxiety disorders for those in children with autism and aspergers syndrome! The study in question is titled ” Evaluation of diagnostic techniques and cognitive and physiological correlates off anxiety in young people with autism spectrum disorders” and the principal investigator is, ‘Emily Simonoff’ at the ‘Department of child and adolescent psychiatry, Kings College London.’ Now, my son is no “Lab Rat” however he is a child who suffers greatly with anxiety, to the point it interferes with his day-to-day quality of life. He has the opportunity to take part in the study which just involves some task done through the use of a computer. They have booked him in for the 1st of December, and we will need to spend the day at the hospital in order to take part. Little man loves computers and he seems pretty up for getting involved. It’s my opinion that as long as little man is fully willing to do this, then why not try to help make sense of it all and maybe one day the research will benefit my son and others like him, after all childhood anxiety is a huge problem, one that I myself suffered at the hands of so greatly as a child.

This wont be the first time Little man has taken part in a study! He was also involved in the MRI scanning for children with autism research, which I must add, made me extremely proud. He faced a host of difficulties when it came to the scanner yet he did manage to stay in position and have some images taken though this was in small sections and each for a very short period of time. Just to get this far showed how amazing the little guy is.

So, as long as we get the letter I have requested from Kings which I want to give to his school in order to hopefully authorise his absence, given that they agree, then we will head to kings on the 1st of next month and hopefully have an update one day soon after.

Well, as you can see, things are really up and down at our end…. Here’s hoping we have a settled and trouble-free weekend.

Oh… and of course… Here’s hoping yours is a good one too!

Related articles

• Melatonin for the child with autism (aspergersinfo.wordpress.com)

The comment from a child with autism

Have you ever logged onto your blog to be presented with a comment that brings tears to your eyes within a second of reading it? I have!

Writing the blog, ‘A boy with Aspergers’ has not only helped me express myself, giving me a platform to put down my thoughts, share our trails and tribulations, celebrate our achievements as a family, a place to off load both the good and not so good, but it’s so helped me to connect with other families like my own. I have always hoped that other families draw comfort from my words, somehow relate and feel they are not alone! There are many parents of children on the autism spectrum, that have commented one my blog and when they state how the blog or facebook page has helped them somehow, I feel inspired to write more.

But what if its not a parent, teacher, carer or other that comments on your blog, what if its a child, one who is on the autism spectrum, a young teenage girl who within a few simple words manages to share her likes & dislikes, express her lack of happiness with the world she lives in, as well as the things she longs for most as a teenager? She didn’t want the latest mobile phone or a tenner to go see a movie with a friend, no! She wanted something that most of us take for granted, either that or something we don’t fully appreciate. Below you can read the words that I read when opening my blog today, the words of one teenage girl on the autism spectrum…

I am a girl who got Autism. Who can’t really make new friends too hard me make really upset. I am a girl who really like to handwriting a lot, liking to make the teacher laugh! I am a girl who like to dance, listen to music, go on a computer or on a laptop. I am a girl who sometimes repeat her self. I am a girl who gets wind up all the time. I am a girl who gets into trouble a lot. I am a girl who get pick on a lot. I am a girl who need to make a new friends who i really trust. I am a girl who is feeling really alone. I am a girl who always staying in at play times sometimes. I am a girl who really need to gets help. I am a girl who really talk anyone. I am a girl who feels like getting push out of stuff. I am a girl who always put same things! I am a girl who really need a new friends who can keep secrets and who I really trust of a best friend. I am a girl who feels really alone. Note these words have not been edited in any shape or form & the original comment can be found over on the page “Autism love list” located under the header above.

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Everyday is world autism day in our house

So it’s World Autism day on the 2nd of April and the entire month will be dedicated to raising awareness for a condition very close to my heart.

I have already read a few awareness post on some of my favorite blogs, I sat brainstorming about my own post for the day. It was only then I realised that everyday is world autism day in our house! It’s not only through this blog that I find myself trying to raise awareness by putting our story out there for the world to see, but I’m doing it through the social networking that I do such as Twitter and facebook. Even off line I’m doing the same, often without even knowing it.

Of course this won’t stop me trying to make some kind of impact on the day. I’m a firm believer that two voices are better then one (not that there’s only two voices but you know what I mean!)

If everyone’s life was touched by autism the world would be a more understanding place, but it isn’t and sadly that means that more often then not, those it don’t affect just don’t think about, the perception they have is pretty far off from the reality of the condition. These people can be educated but only if willing.

Then there is those that don’t believe, a big problem with some of the older generation which is mainly due to the fact such a condition wasn’t heard of when they were growing up, quite often making it come across as a load of meaningless gibberish. This is not just their view on autism but an array of conditions such as ADHD, Anxiety disorders, any condition that affects a persons emotions and behaviour etc. I’ve been told more then once by an elderly person that my son needs a smacked bottom in order to change his ways. An elderly lady on the bus recently told my son during a meltdown that if she acted like he currently was when she was a child her father would have taken the belt to her backside! My son didn’t have a clue what she was talking about and when he told her so she reacted by telling him he was a cheeky bugger, which really didn’t help! Yes, I was furious but I have to reason with myself that actually many of these people don’t know anything different. Your brought up a certain way, or go through a huge proportion of your life only seeing challenging behaviour as bad behaviour, that’s something that is incredibly hard to change! It makes you wonder how many off these people are actually on the spectrum themselves but just don’t know it.

Looking at the world ten years ago and looking at it now it’s fair to say awareness towards autism has come a long way! However looking at the high number of families battling against the system while being judged by fellow shoppers at the supermarket as a result of their child’s very public meltdown, it’s clear to see we still have a long way to go!

It is my believe that creating awareness for those considered to be at the ‘higher’ end of the autism spectrum will be somewhat harder to achieve. Those like my son who have a diagnosis of ‘Aspergers’ or ‘HF’ autism, will always have to fight that little bit harder for recognition. The fact that those with such a diagnosis are able to verbally communicate and have average to high IQ’s leads them to be misunderstood, looked upon as misbehaving and attention seeking. It’s my personal opinion that some (of course not all) parents to a child diagnosed as being on the ‘lower’ end of the spectrum are the ones that often show a degree of ignorance towards a child/adult further along that same spectrum. I remember attending a meeting held by our local autism support group. I asked a question concerning the criteria for admission to an asd specific school that was being built in the area. To my horror a fellow parent stood up and stated that children like mine shouldn’t be considered for a place as they were needed for those that truly needed them. This parent didn’t know me, had never met my child, all she knew about my child was the fact he had a diagnosis of aspergers due to my brief introduction of myself when first joining the group some few weeks before. I later discovered that her child was in a special school and doing OK, where’s my son had no school that could meet his complex needs and in actual fact if pursued would more likely be offered a place then that of her own child. I sat through the remainder of that meeting wondering how many other mothers shared this same view? Thinking about it, the majority of parents that I would often speak to within the group had children with a diagnosis of AS or HF autism, it just goes to show how misunderstood these diagnosis’s actually are!

Every individual on the spectrum is different, each will carry their own set of traits, Little mans being his difficulties with social communication and interaction, social imagination and literal understanding of language, and his sensory processing! Where’s another child may have fewer difficulties within these areas but have more profound difficulties with language skills, learning disabilities, personal care etc, It just depends!

Though each person with autism will have symptoms within the the same triad of impairments, those symptoms will vary from one person to the next. Each person has their own set of traits that defines their autism which makes up only one part of who they are. We all have our own personality and characteristics that define us and that’s the same for everyone even those with autism no matter what kind of autism that happens to be!

Training with a passion

As many of you already know, I’ve been training to become a tribunal support adviser. I’ve never known what  I really wanted to do in life in-till now and this is something I’m sure on. I am seriously hoping to succeed in this chosen path I’ve now taken.

Autism awareness is something I’m passionate about, and as many will already know, either from their own experiences or somebody else’s… autism and the Sendist first tier tribunal seem to go hand in hand with one another here in the UK. I acknowledge that not all children on the autism spectrum have Special educational needs (Sen) but a good chunk of them do and It’s then that many families are faced with problems and a good proportion of the time are faced with the prospect of a fight that eventually ends up in the hands of the tribunal to try and resolve! Ok some are lucky and school’s and LEAs have no problems providing the adequate education for the child! But in my opinion it’s a very small percentage that do.

It’s “funny” how one day everything is rosy in the land of education, but then before you know it, it’s all changed! It could come along and take any parent/career by surprise! It happened to me and it could happen to you!

When I discovered little man had Aspergers I didn’t know the first thing about Sen. The thing is as far as I was aware my child wasn’t on the sen register at school. As many fail to understand… “Having a child with an autism spectrum disorder don’t necessary mean they have special educational needs” I suppose the fact little man refused to even attend school most days, meant the extent of his problems were not seen within his school environment. Well, my point is… I had a great deal to learn back then!

Of course now we are in a completely different situation! Yes, my little man does have problems in school, considerably so that at present his going through the statutory assessment process, is currently part-time schooling and we have a pending DDA tribunal case in the near future. I suddenly had to learn everything from IEPs to exclusion.. all things I’ve never needed to think about before. It’s bloody hard when it goes from being told your child has no issues within school to issues so bad and complex your child now awaits the decision of an emergency “Special school placement” Because their level of need is now so high they cannot cope within the mainstream environment they currently with-side. You hear all this mind-boggling jargon and all you wanna do is SCREAM…”WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” School action, school action+, statutory assessments and statements.. “WHAT?” So much time is spent trying to work out what you as the parent needs to be doing to make sure your child is getting the very best education available that you have little time for anything else. I know when I first stepped into the world of autism and special ed I didn’t have a clue! Much of my day was spent running back and forth to and from school only later  spending hours trailing the net for answers or calling autism/education advice lines.

It was from then I armed myself with a hardback copy of the  Sen code and got myself a tool kit. I  also started reading the Education Act (Mainly schedules 26 & 27)  & The Education (Special Educational Needs) (Information) (England) Regulations. With this I began to gradually feel more confident in dealing with little mans special educational needs. The loneliness you feel when your child is diagnosed and when autism and Sen come together is immense. I thank all those that were there advising me along the way, making me strong! If it wasn’t for the likes of .…NAS, Ace, Ipsea and other organisations of this kind I would not have been this strong, I would have likely gone insane! I certainly would not have chosen this route (advising others on their rights within the education system) But that’s just it! By going through it I discovered that I wanted/needed to do more. I cannot thank those that have helped me enough, now this is my way of giving something back.

There was many reasons that made this chosen position feel right for me! The prospect that I will help other parents that like me had no clue where to turn, not knowing when and if they have a right to appeal, deadlines looming while all the time their child is failing or worse still being failed. This was my biggest reason! If my work helps just one family then all this training was worth it!

So… finally here’s the good news!. I passed the distance learning modules (All ten of them) These modules covered a great deal. I swear I’ve read the entire Ed act on Sen, followed by the Cop. I got the email in the middle of last week confirming my place on the two training weekends in Canary Wharf in the Clifford Chance Law offices. The trainers, managers and co-ordinator of the TSS service are fantastic and made us all feel relaxed and very welcome. The first day (Saturday) after a really long training session 10-5:30 p.m. (Ok it’s been a while since I did anything other then be mummy) me and the other trainees were taken out for dinner in this lovely Italian restaurant situated right below one of the tallest buildings, not far from the water. It was a wonderful evening and although I had just met everybody that day I was really comfortable in their company. Sundays training was very practical.. Yes I worried half the night I would mess this one up but it went pretty well.

Well, I’m back for my last bit of training on the last weekend of this Month, and yep I’m looking forward to seeing everybody again and getting stuck in! After that… It’s for real, I’m on my own!! As well as being on the front-line I will also undertake casework, and to be honest I can’t wait!!!

Canary Wharf London