Little man’s television debut

A few weeks back I got a call from Anna Kennedy regarding a bullying campaign she is currently working on.

Anna had read a recent post on the blog where I raised the issue of bullying. Little man had been at a local park with friend and his mother. While at park an incident took place which resulted In my little man being bullied by a group of teenager boys where he sadly got punched in the stomach by one whom was at least eighteen years of age.

It had also recently came to light that my past concerns that Little man had been a victim of bullying during the first few years at school were in-fact justifiable when I unearthed some accident reports in his education records documenting a string of incidents over a three month period! It was pretty upsetting reading how your child had been whacked over the head with a packed lunch-box and a skipping rope and another highlighting the disturbing facts of how your child was strangled by one of his peers. I was absolutely fuming and shocked that such important information had not been disclosed before, I was left feeling somewhat guilty that I had not been able to protect my son from these horrible incidents of bullying.

Anna asked If little man would be interested in taking part in a short news report which would be filmed for the programme ‘London Tonight‘ aired weekdays ITV1 at six o’clock. Only thing was the filming was to take place the following day. Having spoken to both Anna and the reporter who was due to run the story, I had a chat with the little guy himself, “After all this would need to be his decision!” After many questions, some anxiety that was quickly replaced with excitement, Little man decided he would go for it!

With that I confirmed his participation in the filming and sorted all the necessary arrangements with the reporter. With everything in place I decided that now would be a great time to grab some much needed sleep in-order to prepare for the events of the following day! However Little man had other ideas and as normal sleep wasn’t one off them. Laid in bed I could hear little man chatting away happily to himself in his bedroom, and when prompted on what he was doing, I was informed that he was running over his lines in preparation for his appearance on TV.

With a yawn so big I almost swallowed everything in sight, I sat down beside him and tried my best to explain how things would likely proceed and that I was sure that the a speech really wouldn’t be required.

Somewhere between the smalls hours of three and four am Little man finally entered the land of nod, ‘Yes it was late for a ten year old Little boy to have fallen asleep’, but in our house this was nothing new and in actually fact it was a normality .

Morning fell and this mummy had not had a wink of sleep given that over-tiredness had grabbed ahold of me at some point during the course of the night. The entire morning turned into one of those ‘Mornings’, the ones that just don’t seem to go as you planed them to! Instead of being able to do my normal morning madness and prepare little man for his tv debut scheduled for later that afternoon, I instead found that every single person I had tried desperately hard to get a hold of during the course of last week had now decided it was the right time to contact me! I received one call after another and with a string of important issues to deal with (Mainly all centred around little man’s special educational needs) and the fact that I knew that contact would be lost resulting in me chasing people up if I even dared made the suggestion of them calling me back at a more convenient time, So, for these reasons and more the calls were unavoidable. By the time I had finally finished, I was left with a little more then an hour to get little man bathed, feed and ready! To some off you reading this such a task is a breeze but for us it’s a daily struggle. It will take at least half an hour (on a good day) to convince little man that it’s in his best interest to have a bath! Yes, I agree this isn’t pleasant, but the fact my little guy hates to bath is purely a sensory issue and a power shower is his preference. However we don’t have a power shower at present and he can’t always run of to his nanny requesting he uses hers!

I had spent most of the night worried that little man would manage to insult the reporter or use a string of obscenities in his conversation with her. During the course of our manic morning it had not entered my head given that it hadn’t been given the chance! Now as little man munched of his breakfast come lunch and almost tipped into meltdown mode on discovering I had loaded his dirty track-pants into the washing machine given he had finally taken them off, I started to worry!

Before my fears could swing into overdrive, the reporter arrived. I did a short interview which thankful wasn’t aired (I had bags that would carry a weeks shopping hanging from my eyes, and an appearance that would scare zombies!) Then it was time for little mans big moment and with a massive sigh of relieve I’m pleased to report he did great!!!

The report was aired that same evening and little man went loopy when he saw himself on the box! He phoned everyone he knew and told complete strangers while we walked on the street.

Yep, It definitely went to his head as he asked me what my thoughts were on him contacting the BBC to request an audition for Eastenders! I even found him signing his autograph for his sisters bewildered friend. He really did considered himself as a celeb for weeks and likely still does.

If you or a family member on the autism spectrum have been affected by bullying, or your just interested in finding out more about Anna Kennedy’s ‘No to Autism bullying’ campaign then visit Anna Kennedy online or add a campaign badge to to facebook or twitter pic

How could they hurt my little boy

Sunday was a day that my little man is likely to remember for years to come!

Sadly this is not because yesterday was a special day, it wasn’t his birthday, he didn’t attend an exciting event or take part in a fun-filled activity!

No he was assaulted by teenage boys while at the local park with his friend and friends mother!

Now do you understand why he will remember yesterday for years to come?

I didn’t expect the loud knock at my front door! You see my daughter was with my mother who had taken her out for the day, Little man was at the park with our neighbour and her son (little man’s one true friend), having left the door a jar while I was upstairs with my 15 month old I knew the children would just walk in without knocking if they were to return! I didn’t expect anyone else that Sunday afternoon. I instantly knew I didn’t know the person stood on the other-side of my front door without even having opened it! Whoever was there was knocking on the glass window pane in the door instead of using the knocker.

Opening the door my face fell, stood before me was a blonde woman dressed in a police uniform. A thousand things flashed through my mind at once and before anything more was said I already felt like throwing up. No one wants to see a copper stood at their door. The police woman asked, “does a Giovanni Sarcone live at this address?”

Of course my first thought was that they are looking for his father given little man has his fathers name it seemed more likely as what would they won’t with my ten year old boy? When I stated no the police lady rose her brow and displayed an expression of confusion across her face. She then said, ” the child has claimed this to be his address!” My knees wobbled beneath me, I must have turned a ghostly shade of White as she asked me if I felt OK. I explained that I thought they were referring to little man’s father who has the same name, but lives a few roads down with his mother. I then felt my head spin as I asked where my son was?

The police woman who was very nice explain that my son was still at the local park with his friend and his mother, he was safe and would be back shortly. At this point I felt a gush of relief, but she then went on to tell me that an incident had occurred and unfortunately my son had been assaulted by teenage boys.

I felt numb and sick with shock, turns out my ten year old had been playing with his friend and another little boy. As many may know little man doesn’t have the greatest play skills. He was playing police which mainly consists of a lot of shouting on his part. Some older boys around his own age came over and requested that little man didn’t play with their brother anymore. Little man was confused and asked why? the boys told him because he was Ginger and talked funny! Little man told them that he didn’t speak as funny as them and he hated their Irish accent as they spoke like Mr Xxxxxx who is his old primary school head teacher who he dislikes a great deal. They continued to bully him which lead him to call them a name containing a swear word.

This resulted in the boys leaving the park only to come back with their even older brothers. These were teenagers who were at least eighteen years old. One walked towards my son with a stick as if he was going to hit him with it. The stick was dropped on the ground as the teenage boy decided to punch my son in his stomach instead. He punched my son four or five times, this eighteen year old boy hurt my baby, my ‘ten year old baby’

The police woman told me his friends mum had ran over and grabbed my son and tried to get him into her car in a bid to get him to safety. A member of the public (a young guy) witnessed what was taking place and set chase after the Yobs as they run off. This guy also called 999 resulting in the police arriving at the scene very quickly. It was said ‘by his friend’ that the boy hit him four or five times in the stomach, he said my son didn’t flinch, just stood there making a clicking sound with his tongue.

When the incident was over and the police were on site it was only then little man had a meltdown! However this was not over the fact he had just been punched by a eighteen year old lad while a large number of his mates egged him on, but due to the police wanting to talk with him. He started screaming “please don’t arrest me, please” while crying and trying to get away from the police woman. After some time she Managed to calm him down she then asked him his name and radioed through his details. It was only then she established he had Aspergers. Lucky for us this was on file as he had wondered off age 7 where he put himself on the 202 bus (buses being his special interest) after we explained to the police our son could possibly be on a bus they radioed through to the bus company where they made contact with every bus driver in the southeast London area. Within ten minutes the police had a sighting of my son on the 202 bus one of his favorites.

The police woman told me if his AS hadn’t been on file then they would of been concerned with his reaction to them. She also stated that he refused to be touched or show the police officers his stomach. She said he wouldn’t let them bring him back requesting his friends mother return him in her car. I highlighted the fact he looked like an everyday normal boy and that to most his autism could not be seen, with some just assuming his a little ‘odd’ to which the police officer agreed. She advised my son and neighbour to call the police if they returned. However there wasn’t much more they could do what with little man’s dislike towards the police it would be hard to catch and charge them.

Of course I was livid. I was in a state of shock which quickly turned to anger and worry. When she had left I sat on the stairs with my head in my hands and just cried till I could cry no more. When little man returned he wouldn’t really discuss it, he claimed it didn’t hurt so doesn’t matter. He later told me that he was very scared at the time but just wants to forget it now. I just don’t think it’s gonna be that easy. I’m already overcautious when it comes to him going out without me, now I feel to never let him out my sight again.

Since the incident Little man has been acting as a very angry child and yesterday he had a meltdown at the supermarket where he punched me in my side. I don’t know if he understands the seriousness of what happened. I’m in a state of bafflement at how these teenagers think it’s Ok to do such a thing to a ten year old with or without autism/special needs.

Right now I’m very unsure what to do. The police catching the low life scum that done this seems pretty unlikely. I know two wrongs don’t make a right but right now, if given the chance I would love to lay a few punches of my own into the stomaches of the scum bags that hurt my son and see just how they like that!

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THREE SICK BULLIES TORTURE TEEN WITH ASPERGERS, AND GET AWAY WITH IT!

Reading the news often makes me feel utterly sick and feels me with total terror, so I do try to avoid it as often as seemingly possible. But its everywhere you don’t even need to tune into a news station on the television or radio, pick up a paper or search the internet, because networks such as the all to popular Twitter and good old Facebook have become news broadcasters in their own right. It’s considered a fact that these social networking sites give us the news before its even aired on the national news! More then likely before the journalist has even got his foot through the door of the all to often “Crime Scene” So I guess the term “Seemingly Possible” was a draft dizzy expression to make!

So yesterday I’m trolling through my Facebook, like to many of us do! Only to come across a disgusting, stomach wrenching news-feed updated by one of my favourite pages “The National Autistic Society!” The, Headline reads:

“This week, three men who brutally attacked a 17 year-old with Asperger syndrome were let off with just 80 hours of community service.”

Clicking on the link provided I found myself faced with total shock horror. This countries justice system was truly confirmed the joke we all suspected it to be. Believe me, I’m not just ranting because this boy who was so brutally attacked in a sickening three day ordeal was on the autism spectrum (Though yes this is a major part of it!) But I would also rant if the person subjected to this degree of torture was what societies describes as, “Neurotypical” However this crime was inflicted on a person who was vulnerable and “disabled” Making this one ghastly disability hate crime!

” WARNING! LEAVE NOW IF YOU DON’T WISH TO READ JUST HOW HORRIFIC THIS ATTACK ACTUALLY WAS!”

The three sick & twisted criminals known as Jack Bolton, Andrew Griffin, and Nathan Marshall, all 18 years of age, from Manchester (uk) & known to the police, subjected their 17 year old autistic terrified victim through an unendurable attack, why filming it on their mobile phones. They filmed themselves proudly torturing their teenager victim. The victim who has a diagnosis of Aspergers (a form of autism) was treated in such an inhuman way that it is a total disbelieve that they were not sent to jail to rot. The Scumful three pelted their victim with dog mess, scratched his limbs with sandpaper, kicked and jumped on his head, beat him with a tennis racket and then forced him to drink vodka and gin until he passed out. A National Newspaper The Daily Mail wrote:

Mobile phone footage showed the yobs laughing and joking as they made him endure other abuse and, in a final humiliating assault, they applied adhesive tape to his genital area before ripping the tape off.

It is in my opinion that after reading this story, posted by the Daily Mail and the National Autistic Society’s Facebook page “Judge Jonathan Geake” who imposed this despicable insulting “so called sentence” of  three-month curfews and ordered them to carry out 80 hours’ unpaid community work as ‘an intensive alternative to custody’ is a prime example of  what our justice system is today. “AN UTTER JOKE!”

The victim will live with this horrid disturbing attack for the rest of his live. My guess is he has been left with no confidence or trust in the human race. Instead he is left with just a body crippled by fear. How will this teenage boy ever live a full and independent life now? Yet these beast are allowed to roam our streets, serving a mere 80hrs community service. 80hrs is just a little over three days. Is it bad enough they were not sent to rot in their cell but instead be given a sentence of painting youth clubs or even worse maybe in our schools amongst  our vulnerable children some likely with Aspergers the same condition as their victim! Yet this so called community service order, that is an insult to the word punishment is for a period not even totally four days in total! (If added together that is.) Gosh I give my children a harder punishment for fighting with one another. I’m not stating I know what and where such community service will be served! I’m merely stating that we as a nation see it all to bloody often. Giving something back to the community! Is a term used all to often within our failing justice system. “Yer right” Are they planing to give that young victim his life back? Give him the confidence to go out and meet people, walk the streets free from fear of unprovoked attacks from monsters like these scum-bag offenders? “NO, I THOUGHT NOT!”

The Daily mail online state that Senior police officers and an MP have branded Judge Jonathan Geake sentence “a joke” and like the National Autistic Society, have called for the sentence to be reviewed. The National Autistic Society has launched a campaign where you can get involved. By clicking on the link The national autistic society above, you can tell Judge Jonathan Geake just how wrong he got it! Or visit The Daily Mail Online for the full story including the mug-shots of these low life scum bags who are free to roam our streets and a picture of the “wonderful” Judge him self Jonathan Geake.

WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT.

What do you do when your 9 yr old Aspie son developes a taste for bad language?

I have to say that I don’t think I have the answer. I’m lost and at my wit’s end. Not only do I feel that I have lost control of the situation I also feel that everyone else is thinking the same thing. I got passed the looks and rude comments pushed apron me from other parents or members of the public. As I wrote in a past post some months ago I’m not going to feel like I have to explain every single thing little man does or action I take to deal with it. Yer I used to do this but I was losing the battle. How can you get the world to see things in a different light. Some people will always be stuck in their ways and little old me can’t do much to change it. It’s just that old fashion way of  thinking. There is no such Thing as autism or in our day it was just called bad behaviour. Yes I want to raise awareness for ASD and hope people do begin to see past bad behaviour in children on the spectrum but there is only so much you can do. The thing is Little mans use of swear words has become so bad Its making me avoid taking him anywhere. I can’t help worrying what others think when they hear his disgusting fool language during an outburst of rage. I tell him off though my tears of shame. My father used to go ballistic if me or my brothers and sister swore. If we ever dared swear at an adult we would be punished to the highest standards but saying that I don’t think it ever happened. We were pretty polite children. I try to stress how important it is not to swear, I tell him it doesn’t sound big, clever or cool. Sadly I just think that now his using certain words without even thinking. A swear word seems to appear in every other sentence and a habit is forming . A very embarrassing habit! As a parent to a child with Asperers I feel that life will alway hand you a problem to try and over come. Once you have mastered it something else comes along. It’s like one long test. But as a friend once told me God will only dish out what he thinks you can handle. Being a parent full stop is a learning game we parents of the ASD child just have a little extra to get through. I guess I’m just finding this one a little harder to overcome.

Techniques I have tried to help stop little mans use of bad language.

• Taking away his belongings.
• No playing  outside with his friend next door.
• No treats.
• Pocket money lost or reduced.

I know that following a punishment though is important with all children. there times I caved but as the behaviour has become worse I have  stood my ground and Little man has hindered his punishment but still with no long-lasting effects. So this is to all you parents out their that have been though it. I need your advice! How do I reduce his swearing and then finally stop it?  All suggestion welcome from parents with or without children on the spectrum.

Something has got to be done. If little man is like this with me and other family members he must be using the same language in the classroom. I already know he is rude to stuff and has problems separating Children and adults so I think that this could be highly likely.

BULLYING IS DISTROYING US.

After little man getting hit by that bully, I have spent my days worried sick that it will happen again. I can’t watch him everyday, I can’t watch him when his at school. I fell there is little point expressing concern to his school! They never seem to help anyway, If anything they seem to make things so much worse for him. Since I wrote the post Aspergers and Bullying  I have had a lot of messages of kind words from other parents wanting to share there advice and support on the subject. Thank you to all of you for this. It always helps knowing your not alone and others understand what you are going through. I will have to stop worrying myself in to craziness for my sake and little mans. I think I’m driving him a little mad with the 101 questions when I pick him up from school. It’s just hard knowing that your child has had to face the fear of a bully. As a parent I think this one will take a little time to get over if I ever can that  is.

Asperger’s and bullying.

Today was a very tough and stressful day for myself and family. My mother in-law lives on the next rd to me. Little man wanted to go and visit Mitchell who is Little mans cousin. Mitchell lives with my mother-in-law ( Little mans Nan and my partners mother ) I will stand at the top of the road and watch him walk down. We have been doing this for a few months as most of the children from his school/class are allowed to play outside but I’m only happy for Little man to do this outside his nans once Mitchell who is almost 12 years old is with him. They live in a corner house and as My little man approached the corner I waved and headed back inside.

I was only home a few seconds when I heard banging on the front door. My little boy was home. He had run back home as fast as his legs could carry him, I was puzzled as to why this maybe as I knew Mitchell  and his dad were at home. He was crying and finding it so hard to speak. By this time im very worried and In a panic. I try not to become to upset. Then he sobbed mum he beat me up outside nanny’s house. WHAT! Now im mad and holding back tears. WHO? HOW? WHY?  I asked all at the same time as I grabbed hold of my coat and made a dashed for the door taking  little man with me.

As he had turned the corner a few boys started calling him names. One of them who we have had problems with before. His also 8 years old, and once tried to nick his bike from outside his nans house. His mother seems to have a lack of control  over him. She also seems to have no concern over his wear bouts. Well the other boy was a little older he had pushed little man and the 8-year-old tear away then punched him. I know they are only kids and I don’t really believe in hitting  your child or any child but I must admit seeing the mark on his face, the tears and fear in his eyes I felt like finding them and getting little man to do the same back. Off course this is not the right way to do things and of course this is not what I did.  I dropped little man at his nanny’s and went to the local park at the end of the road in search for them. Yes I found them (well the younger bully ) I was so angry I was really giving him a good talking to regarding bullying I asked about the older boy but he lied saying he was alone. MY SON DON’T LIE! I told the boy I wanted to see his mother. We walked to his house and she was not home. Instead I was greeted by a young guy in his 20s the claimed to be a cousin. Yes he told him off and No I don’t think it helped.

It makes me mad how someone can make someone else feel so scared.  I was sick to the pit of my stomach, angry and sad. My poor little man. It kills me to see him this way.