7 Nov

I sit here today and I write you this post, a post that shares a very important message!

Don’t Give Up!

Too many parents tell me about the fight they currently face to obtain a diagnosis for their child. They tell me how others see them as uncaring because they are so eagerly chasing a label, one so many, wrongly claim to be unnecessary.

They tell me they just feel like giving up. They state the professionals have suggested they just wait a couple more years, see how things go!

They tell me they are tired, worn and lost.

I tell them it was the same for me… I state how I experienced the doubt, self judgement and sleepless nights! Then I tell them where we are at today!

Yes, I was tired… I don’t think I realised just how much till things had settled. I remember feeling that my concerns were looked upon as nothing but parental paranoia.

I remember wanting to scream out loud “Just shut up and listen” No, correction, I remember shouting this statement more times than I care to remember.

I questioned my own concerns. I felt that maybe I was going mad or worse that it was just me being a mother who was unable to do the job of parenting correctly.

I remember watching the months turn into years as I continued my battle, one that was just to get my foot in the Child Psychologist door.

In between there was issues, ones that turned into significant difficulties. More importantly, difficulties that could have been avoided or at least decreased in scale, if someone had just listened.

I did all I could do, yet it never felt enough.

School attendance fell, school phobia developed, but again, no one listened. Court cases and school attendance officers made my life more difficult and the fact I was found guilty and fined… Well, that just lead to my depression, lack of trust in the British justice system and great weariness in the operations of the LEA and everybody in it.

You sit there and think “Oh God, there really is no answer, no solution, no way to make them listen!” and as I started therapy I remember the endless tears that required my therapist to fetch more tissues. I remember the relief I felt, just to have someone… Sit… Just sit and listen.

Over the course of the battle, I saw my child become a target form both children and adults. I watched him change in personality as he tried to become someone he wasn’t… Someone who he thought he needed to be in order to be excepted.

Life is better now… I didn’t give up!

Little man has a diagnosis and this later lead to appropriate schooling and a much happier child!

You are the parent, you know your child. Don’t let anybody tell you differently.

Don’t give up!

6 Responses to “DON’T GIVE UP”

  1. mrsjcblog November 23, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    Thank you for posting this. I’m right at the begging of the journey, but already I’m not sure if I’m strong enough for the fight ahead. x

  2. Confident Connections Counseling November 7, 2012 at 6:39 pm #

    You are so right. For several days I have been feeling lost in it all, and today I really feel he has not only given the me the power to keep on going, but in his own way has given me the answers that have been eluding me. Your posts have really served in buiding my confidence as his mother and pulling me out of feeling so misunderstood in it all that I really feel more open to accepting his influence. It is not us who is wrong in this situation, it is the school who does not entirley understand and their inability to educate and help the other children understand his condition. Thank you again!!! 🙂

  3. clairelouise82 November 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

    Thank you, that’s amazing feedback and its feedback like this that makes me want to write and share so thank u so much:).

    Also I hope things at the school improve quickly. Us mothers feel powerless at times but the truth is that really will are able to more mountains as long as we believe we can… Your child will give you the power to keep on fighting.x

  4. Confident Connections Counseling November 7, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    Reblogged this on Confident Connections Counseling and commented:
    A beautiful post written by a mother who survived many struggles as she endured the lack of understanding from the instituions in our children’s life. She made it through and offers the parents of children with Aspergers the wisdom of her experiences, and the hope and belief that no matter how hard it gets… it will be okay.

  5. Confident Connections Counseling November 7, 2012 at 5:07 pm #

    You are such a beautiful and inspirational writer. Every post I have read so far that you have written has brung a tear to my eye in apprieciation and validation of my own experiences. Thank you so much for taking the time to write about your family and helping to decrease the isoloation that so many of us parents with the same experiences feel. You are really helping other parents feel more confident and a little less crazy as we seek the help and understanding that our children need. Thank you so much!!! I will recommend your blog to the parents I work worth. But, I really want to thank you for helping me, personally, manage the doubts and pain of struggling through the lack of understanding occuring at my son’s school. I really needed that today!!! 🙂

  6. thoughtsfromthekitchensink November 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm #

    I have a son who is on the spectrum, I am currently fighting to get my son a place in the right special secondary school for Sept. They have at last agreed he does require a special secondary school, however the one they’ve chosen for him is one I already told them we’d been to see & the head told us our son doesn’t meet their intake criteria. His academic levels are to high. Of course it’s all about funding, or lack of it when it comes to the LEA. So I’ve won the battle in getting them to recognize he needs a special school (one they weren’t willing to admit at first), I now just have to win the war of getting him the right special school, my preferred choice.
    It is all a soul destroying process but as you say in your post we shouldn’t give up, we know our children the best and appropriate schooling makes for a much happier child.
    I have my sleeves rolled on & am cracking on with our latest battle now 🙂

    Fab post 🙂 xx

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