The end of a chapter

28 Feb

We’ve come to the end of the chapter

I feel allevated, somewhat calm and strangely satisfied!

I feel we’ve been given the green light, and we can finally proceed with life.

Its all over and I couldn’t be anymore pleased that it’s finally come to an end!

Four days before the SENDIST hearing which was due to take place today, the settlement agreement went through.Yes, sometime during the beginning of this month I finally agreed to a settlement offered on behalf of Little man’s Governing body at his old mainstream primary school (the one I finally pulled him from during December 2010)

A formal apology signed by the head-teacher on behalf of the school and governing body addressed to myself and Little man. Within the letter is a list of incidents they particularly wished to apologise for. This included: being video interviewed on a school trip without parental consent, any distress caused to little man by way of isolation & exclusion, communication could have been better, more reasonable adjustments should have been made, visual timetable not always up to date.

There was a number more, but I think you get the point.

They agreed to training before July 2011 and to review there policies by the same date.

I requested that the letter be signed by the head-teacher, “what would a letter of apology mean to a child with aspergers (or any child for that matter), given by a person they do not even know (governing body)” This was agreed, to which I signed the agreement and withdrew my appeal for Disability Discrimination.

Of course this won’t be an end to little mans school battles, we have yet to face his transition back into a school enviroment (special school) from the one-to-one home tuition he is currently receiving at the library for a total of 5 hours a day, 25 hours per week. As stated in my post before last, Little man has stamped his feet and let it be known that “I’m never ever, ever, going back to school.”

The letter of apology doesn’t make all his fears disappear his still extermely affected by the treatment he incurred why at this school, the countless exclusions, the misunderstandings, not allowed on trips, refusal to allow his participation in school activities, the hurt, confusion and pain it caused.

However now he knows it wasn’t his ‘fault’ he wasn’t to blame (well, 99% of the time) You see there were of course times when he was a ‘typical’ 10 year old child, after all his no angel! It’s not like I would challenge every sanction they imposed (no matter what they may say)

I have watched him over these past few months slowly become less angry at the world and himself. He seems more excepting of the person he is! It’s not as if everything is suddenly perfect, of course not, we have some way to get there yet. There are days he sits and ponders on the things that happened, referring to himself as “not normal, different and misplaced,” other days his smiling huge happy smiles.
They are the days you cling to.

For me the letter means closure. The thankful end to a messy, tiring, soul destroying experience. His just 10 years old so undoubedly we have many more battles to come, I’m not walking around with my head in the clouds thinking, “from this day on, our life is all rosy”. We are still awaiting the final statement of special educational needs being issued from the LEA. The chances that my suggested amendents if any are copied into the statement is looking somewhat grim, and let’s face it, the chances that my preferred school will be named in part 4 is “atrociously” low with the prospect of me having to make an application for yet another appeal being practically set in stone! Some may call me a pessimist I prefer the term “realist”. Let’s face it parents who made us think this way?

Communicating, helping, sharing and just speaking to thousands of other parents and carers through this blog, my facebook page and the extending on/off line community only opens my eyes that bit wider, reminding me that I’m not the only one, little man’s not the only one! There is such an outstandingly huge number of us fighting the same daily stressful battles (normally education based) that technically we as parents, carers, children, human bloodly beings should not need to face.

I hope that Little man’s school did “really” learn something from little man and somewhere down the line, somehow, something good comes from this mess. I hope that if one day near or far, Little man’s school are expected to educate a child like him again, they do so with much care and support enabling that child to succeed in all areas possible. Most of all I hope that child is 100% happy with the person he is and is never made to feel he isn’t valued and worthy of respect, that his existence is worth nothing!

So now I turn over the page and start a new chapter.

With this new chapter I wonder what life will bring?

I’m no psychic, but you can bet your life on it, it won’t be dull! As much as I’d like it to be, we don’t do dull and ordinary in our house!

8 Responses to “The end of a chapter”

  1. FionaCambouropoulos (@coombemill) January 1, 2012 at 6:59 pm #

    Love your positive take on life. Keep it up as it will reflect on your whole family 🙂

  2. Katie Hill March 1, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    I feel like taking an ad out in the paper to share this one. I really am pleased for you girl and the little man. That school were crap and need to work at making things better

  3. Stacey March 1, 2011 at 6:55 am #

    Newest Follower!
    ❤ your blog!
    Stopping by from:

    I hope you will follow me back 🙂
    I have some great giveaways going right now!

  4. clairelouise82 February 28, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    Thank you Liz and everyone else. I really feel it’s the support and encouragement that all your lovely reader always offer me. I’m so grateful for that, I really am. xxx

  5. Lizbeth February 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

    I’ve read your post several times now and I’m struck with a few things–your reresilience and tenacity in the face of such personal adversity. I can’t and won’t pretend to know what you went through. Hugs.
    The fact you’ve had to fight such an uphill battle with educators is mystifying and saddening to me. As someone once told me, our teachers and school administrators aren’t exactly Nobel laureates. That struck me as true and profoundly sad. Time and time again I’ve had to teach my son’s teachers about Asperger’s and what will work best and how exclusion and segregation is simply not acceptable. I’m glad you’re moving forward and profoundly hope Little Man comes out the other end stronger and wiser.

  6. Jamie February 28, 2011 at 11:21 am #

    I’m so pleased you got what you and little man needed.
    He will always be thankful for that.

  7. Lynne Owen February 28, 2011 at 7:41 am #

    Hi I just read your blog and I felt a bit tearful both with regret for what you have been through and with optimism for the little man’s future. You have been a total rock for him against all the odds. I hope the school will have learned through all of this that they cannot treat a child with a disability in such a way, which has caused him suffering.

    Good luck with the statement and eventually the new school.

    Best wishes


  8. superlittlemen February 28, 2011 at 7:32 am #

    That’s a massive step forward! Bet its nice just having the acknowledgement by them of how they failed you and little man. I hope little man can and will go on to a new school and learn to enjoy it x

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