It seems that every post lately is full of doom and gloom!
I hope that 2011 brings with it lots of smiles, because lately we just aint seeing any!
I have decided that I may have to visit the GP and ask about getting little man signed off school for a while. It seems that for the last few months I have had to repetitively deliver disappointing news to little man! It’s always the same… “Sorry darling but you can’t take part in your school play” or “I’m really sorry, i tried but they won’t let you join the class for the christmas party!” I think you get the point!
I just can’t do this anymore! It’s heartbreaking informing your ten year old that he wont be joining his class again because his school state they can’t take that chance! It’s got to the point that he is punished for behaviours that haven’t occurred… But they assume that they might and to them that’s good enough. How do you explain this to a child on the spectrum? In all fairness, How do you explain this to ANY child? You can’t!
It’s bad enough Little Man has missed so much time at school due to exclusions. His missed activities because his considered a liability, and now he misses Christmas (Well Christmas at school that is!)
It crushes him everytime…. And I never know how to answer the whys. If he isn’t sat crying himself to sleep, his angry, so angry that his throwing his whole body against brick walls. Things were so bad last month that he whacked his arm against the wall so many times it bleed. This wasn’t due to discovering he wasn’t attending a trip or taking part in a school activity, this was for a reason unknown, that I expect was a build up of emotions and anger due to the time he spends isolated in school.
Little man has spent something silly like six afternoons in his classroom since the beginning of October on returning from an exclusion! He is Isolated (spends time alone learning with TA) in the mornings and home in the afternoons (School wanted him isolated the whole day)
When I broke the news about the school party yesterday, he cried so much his eyes were sore. He didn’t kick, punch, destroy anything like he often has! I think he was to worn out to do so…. After all it’s happening all the time. I just sat thinking I honestly can’t do this anymore. His mental well-being & self esteem is deteriorating and I can’t sit back and willing watch it happen.
I’ve tried so hard to make him feel better by creating our own elf day, school trips and parties trying to compensate for the ones his missing. At first it did the trick but over time it just isn’t enough! He says it’s not the same! And I know it isn’t!
It’s sad seeing the disappointment plastered all over his face. He may have Aspergers but this don’t make him stupid and unable to see what is going on around him. I took him in to school on Monday morning and by the time I collected him at mid-day he was a mess! He had heard the other children outside singing christmas carols but was unable to join in. It was Elf Day and the children do christmas activities and crafts. His TA made a Santa decoration with him… But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the same, and no way was this inclusion. All the way home he keep asking why he couldn’t join his class!
I had a meeting that same afternoon. It was at this meeting the Head teacher and Senco told me they didn’t want little man returning to his class & that he wouldn’t be allowed to join them for the class Christmas party. Instead we were told they maybe able to organise for some of his peers to come out of class and spend time with him in the Den. My mother who was at the meeting was gob smacked! She made a valid point off…. This will only make him feel more “different” then he already does!
I have been informed by the Sen Caseworker that Little mans purposed statement is in the process of being drafted and should be with me sometime this week. I just hope that something has gone right and it’s been done to a high standard “No corners cut” The school talked about little man returning to school in Jan 2011 given his not yet got a school placement in a “special school” There would be a change In TA and even more isolation. I just refuse to do it anymore. To be frank, If the doctor doesn’t sign him off… Looks like I will be taken to court for non school attendance. I’ve been there before and to be honest this time I will have a lot more to say!!!!
So that’s my decision and I’m sticking with it! Let’s just hope Little man gets the right school and the chance for happiness in 2011.. Resulting in post that are full of happiness for a change!