“Stressed! Who me?”

15 Nov

Stress! it’s something we all face at one time or another through life. Some people are stressed because of work, others have exams at uni and deadlines to hit! Then there are the parents.. stressed out because their children have kept them on their toes the entire day! The stressed out teacher who has encountered cheek from at least a fourth of his pupils out of his thirty something class………. I can go on all night you will never run out of examples.

What makes one person stressed, is a walk In the park to another. It’s very easy as a parent of a child on the autism spectrum to get frustrated and almost angry at others when they are sat complaining on the bus, train.. where ever it may be, about they’re “stressful” day at work, or the well dressed woman sat chatting with her friend about the stress she encountered while shopping on busy Oxford Street in the West end! You sit rolling your eyes thinking in ones own head, “Try my bloody day! The battle to remove my child from his bed, the challenge to persuade him to dress then go to school when his only had a few hours sleep meaning you have too!” That’s it now you’ve got me started… “If I have succeed in my morning quest, I’m then collecting my child from school at 12pm, his ten years old yet on half day and that’s even if his lasted that long!” You try hard to stop this bitterness but it keeps coming…. “Try shopping in Sainsburys with your ten year old verbally bashing you as you try to shop or better still throwing himself into shelves while screaming and shouting he hates you while having a full on meltdown… You don’t even know what’s upsetting him! But my god you need to find out. This is Sainsburys, I only wish I could shop in Oxford Street!!!!” It don’t stop coming…. “Bedtimes your child is still beeping and acting like a bus at 2am and all I wanna do is sleep”

The thing is… this guy and this woman both have the right to vent no matter what the reason is behind their stress! I’m not saying that just because I have a child on the spectrum my life Is harder then his or hers! That’s beside the point! These people haven’t done anything wrong.. I’m just sat there and if it has been a bad day I’m proberly just feeling extra sensitive and sorry for myself… If anything I’m just acting bitter. But why? I love my life and wouldn’t change it (I would change certain things that have happened, but wouldn’t we all!) A few mornings ago little man woke up in the worse mood and as result decided to beat up my bedroom door. Things like this I would change! The smile on his face as we board the 450 bus is priceless🙂 This I would never change.

As a mother to three.. I get stressed! And beleive me, it’s not all down to my little aspie man. What do you do as a way to unwind? Read a book, watch a little telly, or chill to the sounds of London late night love songs on heart? Us mummy’s are normally only part free to indulge in mummy time, once our little angels are in the land of nod us mummys go for it! The thing is little man don’t sleep till the early hours! I put the baby to bed and like magic (99% of the time) he goes to sleep within minutes. How different my boys are! As soon as baby is fast a sleep I find myself getting ready for the night a head. There is normally so much I want to do, but just as much I have to do! Once my daughter is in bed, I start the battle to get little man in his! This is a battle that can go on for hours & hours… When he does follow his bedtime routine (we made a timeline using visual aids) he will normally just lay there in his bed in complete darkness, talking to himself about bus routes or acting out the bus doors opening and closing. Though I can hear him.. Beeping away, I know his in that bed and with this I jump in mine, Mac in hand and normally I will do a little blogging. Yep off Loading all my crap onto you guys is my stress reliever. If I didn’t have the blog I would be a “bonkers” Mummy (yer don’t think I don’t know what your thinking!) I only wish I got more time as it’s often the case that I pass out before I’ve even logged in!

A few nights back I really did have the chance for some me time. The childrens father was here taking care of the kids and I was laid upstairs with mood lighting (lamp dimmed) waiting for a TV show that I really wanted to see “I don’t watch much telly and I really wanted to see this show” I woke up the following morning fully dressed and in a state of utter confusion. Do u know I jumped out of my bed and stood there in the middle of my bedroom for a good five minutes trying my hardest to piece together what was going on!! Did I watch my programme? why in gods name is it light outside? Where’s my Children?

Once i had finally placed my brain firmly back in my head it all came back to me… well the children being with daddy, the mood lighting and just how comfortable I had felt! typical me had passed out again. Just then my daughter appeared fully dressed and ready to go to school. Daddy had stayed over as I was somewhat sedated and he had got the children ready for school (Well Not little man) he was doing his usual morning routine…Refusal to get up, washed, dressed…ect..ect…ect…
Well, I must have needed that sleep! Like they always say, “Everything seems better in the morning after a good nights sleep” So…. Did it? Did it heck!!

So yes I like many get stressed! It doesn’t mean I can’t cope or I’m having a breakdown! It just means I’m human.

After all… Life is stressful.. But it’s also Incredible rewarding, given the chance!

3 Responses to ““Stressed! Who me?””

  1. clairelouise82 November 23, 2010 at 3:16 am #

    Aww, Thanks for caring Fi
    Honest I’m fine, it was just one of them days (You know the ones where you should stay well clear of the Mac lol) Yes the children’s dad is fantastic. We don’t live together, Mainly due to him having ADHD and with little man they tend to hype one another. Seems weird but it’s better this way as they both don’t sleep well and what with little man being a complete daddy’s boy, he will never want to sleep if dads up bouncing off the walls lol. We move here to be near him and he practically lives a few roads down with his mum. Apart from this my mother is only a few streets away and she often helps out. In terms of family I’m really lucky a lot luckier then most (So should quit moaning already!) I did however have a real rough time a few years back where we had no diagnosis and not much understanding. Little man was becoming to much and because school kept on with the “His fine at school, we have never seen such a side to him” campaign I started to think it was me. My OCD came back and I felt so low I didn’t even want to be around friends. Things got better as soon as I meet our then CAMHS Dr who was the first person to say.. “I think your son is on the autism spectrum with a condition named Aspergers” The next part was the best and I hang on to it with both hands, “Claire It’s not your fault” I cried like a baby, One with sadness and two with shock and three happiness (Happiness for at last I was listened to and someone else see it to) Still it was two more years till D day but I read and researched the word aspergers throughout that time and feel much better now though of cause as you saw I have my moments, days, months and even weeks.

  2. Jamie November 20, 2010 at 1:40 pm #

    I just love your blog Claire and look forward to your next post as always. You make me want to write.

  3. fiona2107 November 20, 2010 at 4:09 am #

    Sweetie, I’m concerned about you….you just described me 12 months ago just before I had a nervous breakdown.

    I too had times where I would pass out or forget how I got places and what I was there for.

    Are you raising three kids alone??

    No, I’m not “officially” doing it alone but my husband is rarely here and when he is – he doesn’t know how to cope so most of the time I deal with it all,

    Three kids is WAY harder than two and adds a new dimension to stress.

    Then add in the aspergers , lack of sleep and you end up with a very volatile cocktail…

    Do you have people around you that you can turn to?
    I hope so, you poor darling – it sounds like you’ve reached your limit….

    Please email me if you need someone to talk to

    Sending hugs from down under…..xx

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