25 Mar

It’s Monday 22nd March, Little man is on his last day of exclusion from school. This means that at 2.45 pm today a reintegration interview/meeting  at the school will take place. I can’t Wait!

Yes I am willing the day to go faster, 2.45 pm can’t come quick enough! I have been trying to get a hold of this Head teacher since we left school Thursday afternoon. For those who haven’t read my latest post little man was not only excluded for the second time in two weeks but he had also been restrained and humiliated. No I was not informed that restraint was used on my son, Why I don’t know as I had just stood and spoke to the Head teacher and nothing was said. I spent most of the day with my hand and ear stuck to my mobile. I wasn’t getting anywhere and when I collected my daughter Alice I was again told that yep his busy!

Come Friday despite taking and collecting my daughter from school I still haven’t seen the Head teacher. I knew he was lying when he wrote on the exclusion letter that Little man had been throwing playground equipment ( DANGEROUSLY I MUST ADD ) Why had he not given me this reason when I had collected him from school? Surely you would tell the parent the child was excluded for the most serious reason! Well I would have my answers pretty soon.

2.45 pm Me and little man are at the school. The Head teacher calls us into the office where I turn to see the Senco sat with her pen and paper to hand. Didn’t expect her to be there but was pleased it meant both could hear what I had to say! This was an important meeting for me, I considered this to be my opportunity to express my concerns and I wanted an explanation in regards to the restraining of my child. The Head was acting anxious but also a tad rude. This wasn’t unusual but something just felt funny. He repetitively said now we must be quick. He kept looking at his watch and was displaying a certain awkwardness. We had only just got through the office door yet he was rushing. I knew what was happening here! It was becoming more apparent that he was worried that little man had told me about being restrained. Either this or the man was just acting like a dysfunctional human being! He said that the meeting was to make sure we all understood that little man was to return to school in the morning and what would be happening in regards to little man rejoining his peers, And if little man understood why he was excluded. Bull!!! It was my understanding that the purpose to the reintegration interview was to discuss maters concerning the reasons surrounding exclusion, Whats been put in place in the way of provisions to help prevent misbehaviour and exclusion. Reach agreement on how the child’s education should continue, how best they can reintegrate and lastly explore wider issues and circumstances that maybe affecting childs behaviour! So as for the whole rush, rush thing I really couldn’t see it happening. I was to collect my daughter  from the infants at 3.25 pm and I was planing on being here till then. The Head told little man he would need to be here for the first part and then wait in the reception area why I spoke to him. Little man rolled his eyes crossed his arms and told him in kind of aggressive manner “WHAT EVER LIAR” The Senco turned to me in away to say are you going to address this rudeness. Reason I knew this was because of a pervious incident where little man had used bad language and swore as he walked through the doors when I had collected him early from senco’s office ( He was ongoing internal exclusion at this time ) Other parents stood waiting for their children to come out. I just wanted to get my daughter and get out of there before the upper bell went. I Removed little man away from everyone and as we walked around the side of the school to collect Alice I told him that his inappropriate use of language hadn’t gone unheard and words would be had once home. Well as I walked towards the gates Senco called after me in order to address my parenting skills! Hell yer I had steam shooting out of my ears and now little man was shouting abusive language at her as he ordered her not to bully his mum. I was appalled  That she had acted in this way. After all his behaviour at home was not longer an issue! Maybe teaching skills needed to be analyzed. Oh well I could now address the matter! I should not have to explain what strategies I have in place to manage little mans behaviour but I wanted to. I explained that in removing little man away from the situation and then addressing his unwanted behaviour was my approach that I had inforced over the last few months and it was now working nicely. I explained that by doing this little man would not have a meltdown in front off the other children and parents! And as the Head had put him on internal exclusion for misbehaviour at the end of the school day which was witnessed by parents and children then I felt it best to avoid a repeat of this unwanted behaviour! After all I was here collecting him early as the Head teacher wanted Little man off the school premises before his peers.

Once I had got that of my chest we carried on with the matter in hand. Little man had written something ( What he called complaints! ) He asked to read out what he had written! The Head teacher didn’t seem very impressed but what choice did he have. This was a 9-year-old child who wished to state his case.  However I myself was a little worried reason being was I hadn’t yet seen his five pages of complaints and as most may already know little man liked to tell it how it is. To use the word blunt would be an understatement. I also wondered GOD HOW MANY SWEAR WORDS HAS HE WROTE IN THAT! Well I was to be surprised! Not one, Not a single swear word. His wording was formal and in no way rude! It made me almost cry but also made me want to get up and kill um!! How dare they treat my child like this! He was my son and they were treating him as if he was worthless. As he read out loud the Head and the Senco looked shocked! And not at any given time did the Head teacher defend nor correct little man on what he read! Instead they sat silently with mouths wide open and expressions of worry spread across their faces.

The first issue little man rose was why didn’t you tell mum you grabbed me? Why didn’t you tell mum that you carried me? Why did you lie and tell mum I throw playground equipment? With this I butted in asking little man if he did throw anything. As you can guess he said no explaining that their wasn’t any playground equipment to throw! Turning to the head I ask the same question. Once he manages to get his words out he tells me that yes there is these little green and red things that he can’t remember the name off. With this the Senco butts in and tries to help him with his fiction! Sadly they both ended up looking like a pair of big nose fibers. Little man was shouting Liar, Liar and shaking his head. I could think of a better name to call them but remained from doing so as hard as it was. Then I asked if himself and TA had grabbed and carried little man to the office. Again after a struggle with  his speech he tells me yes but followed the restraints guidelines with in schools restraints policy. I asked if little man was throwing the so-called playground equipment at the time. He told me no he was running and swearing! Little man told how the TA grabbed him and the Head teacher laughed and said good job I will get his legs. He went on to explain that as he was carried through the playground he felt humiliated and worried about getting hurt! He also asked why he never had lunchtime like his class peers, Why he was given one 2 one at lunch only for it to be removed as punishment. He told how he felt angry because they made his mum cry and lastly he expressed that exclusion made him feel hated. You can only imagine how angry I was! I looked at them both and waited for one of them to explain or give answers, after all these were questions he wanted answering. Many of his sentences finished and started with the word WHY? Still their failure to offer explanation said it all. Little man picked up his rucksack and walked to the door in order to sit in reception and wait for me to finish. On leaving he told the Head teacher to keep the sheets of paper that he had left on the table! He would need to read them so he could see what needed doing to make the school better because it’s really S**t right now! Ops there it is! I knew a swear word would have to be expressed sometime soon.

When Little man had left I stated my concerns not only for my son’s education but wellbeing. I let it be known that restraining my child or any of my children was not allowed! I asked why he had not informed me of the restraint incident after all I had collected little man from school as he was excluded. Himself and the TA in question were in the office with little man when I had arrived. He told me he was sorry he must have forgotten. Is this man who is paid to look after my child for six hours a day under the illusion that his explanation is in any way good enough? My expression must have said it all as he went on to tell me that he will be sure to in future! Is this man trying to get me on assault charges? I was very close to introducing him to my left foot. I repeated that there wouldn’t be a next time.  Other concerns I raised were his use of exclusions. He had a lot to say on this matter! He had well and truly found his tongue. He almost sounded aggressive as he defended his actions. I asked if there were more constructive forms of punishment? After all my child was on the autism spectrum he needed structure and routine. It had taken so long to get this far and now it was as if it didn’t matter. There were no accommodations made for little man the provision that was in place had only been there a few months some days even. When I spoke in addition to his unofficial exclusions The head kept asking whats My point? He wouldn’t let me finish in order for me to reach the point! Instead he continued gruelling me. He asked me to give him the definition of  unofficial exclusion. Was this a test to see if I had done my homework on the laws surrounding exclusion and education? Did he also want me to point out the inadmissible evidence I had to prove his incompetence in being a respectable Head teacher? Further more did he want me to do it in front of the Senco? By using the term UNOFFICIAL I meant that on two occasions you have asked me to collect little man from school and chosen to not document this as an exclusion! Therefore this is considered to be unlawful. Wow he was shaking his head like the Churchill dog. He told me I had misunderstood! He wanted me to come in and help little man work but as I had the baby ( Yes my son 2 months old at the time ) I said it would not be possible! With this I asked to take him home. Not that I doubted my son in any way what so ever but the head teacher had just given me a fantastic insight into how capable this man was of telling lies. He was not only capable but also seemed to do it with ease. The Senco I must add never sat quite this whole time it was just that I found what she had to say to be compleat rubbish it was clear she was licking his butt and by doing so I perceived her to be as much a liar as he was. I stated that no matter what! He was the Head teacher and he let little man go home therefore it was his decision to do so making it illegal. We discussed internal exclusions which he also lied about when I brought to his attention that giving little man an internal exclusion that takes place in a special needs unit, room or other was also wrong as it had to be seen as a punishment. He had to stop using provisions as punishments and treats. It’s disgusting! He wasn’t getting one 2 one in class but was while on internal exclusion.

Much more was discussed but as you can see if this post gets any longer I could find myself in trouble with the blog police. So to round things up! Meeting went well, I learned that no matter what authority will always stick together. I asked to see incident sheet on the restraint and control that took place on the 18th March. I have also asked for access to his educational records within 15 school days, I want to see school polices on restraint and behaviour! My god he quotes them a lot. The big meeting will take place at school on the 29th. I will ask to record the meeting and someone will attend with me. I’m hoping that all professionals I have requested to attend will do so but I don’t hold my breath. Lastly Little man was meant to return to school the day after this meeting Tuesday 23rd March. This didn’t happen due to little man being up all night finally settling at 4am. I consider him to now be anxious about school then again who can blame him?


  1. Gavin Bollard March 27, 2010 at 10:47 pm #

    I hate to be the one to tell you but I really think that you shouldn’t bother with reintegration. This school has soured. Whatever resolution you end up with, the school will never ever be the same for little man – or for you.

    You need to change schools and start anew.

    You also need to talk to little man about what is acceptable and not acceptable at the NEW school. Any school is going to have unfair bits and pieces and little man needs to change his communication methods – ie: to go through an adult (yourself) instead of telling the teachers outright that he feels something is unfair.

    It’s not fair that he should have to do this but if it’s going
    to keep your NEW school relationship harmonious, then it’s worth doing.

    It’s obvious that little man’s communication methods are worsening the situation at the old school. It’s too late to fix that now but if he can start a new school with better communication, he may be able to finish.

    I know that it’s mostly the school’s fault but right now, little man is also his own worst enemy.

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