28 Jan

Ok so you get that formal diagnosis the one that has taken so long to get. After many assessments and meeting have taken place it’s all complete and filed. Yes my child has been diagnosed as having a life long condition but relief floods over you. At long last we can move on! Carry on with life and just get on with it. The assessment process on little man took forever and I know thats exactly how I felt. I had a lot to learn and after talking with other parents of child on the autistic spectrum, reading and just understanding my son I learned a little more each day. However and not surprising There was something I hadn’t learnt. I didn’t have a clue about SEN. Yes I now understood an awful deal about my sons condition Aspergers but what in the world did the word SEN represent. Well lucky for me that was before and that since then I discovered this stood for special educational needs. This was something I stupidly assumed would apply to my son. Well he has a  social & communication disorder, meaning that surely extra help would be on offer for him when it came to schooling. You know from my last angry and frustrated post that little man and SEN don’t go together. Help, extra services what the hell is that ? As I write this I will try my hardest to contain myself. But It’s hard as thinking about the extra support that little man has so crawly been deprived of makes me a tad crazy. But that was far from the end of my frustration

as too much to my horror It turns out having a formal diagnosis of Aspergers is not enough! Shocking I know. It’s up to the school to decide if your child is entitled to or requires any extra educational help. Well god help me! This is the school that labeled my child as having behavioral problems after telling me and others on a number of different occasions that little man was well – behaved in school and showed no concerns. This is also the school who sat and spoke with myself and little mans doctor about his diagnosis, introduced me to the school Senco only to recently inform me that they don’t have a written record of his diagnosis. How on earth is this going to happen? So just when you think the long process of assessments and meetings have come to an end it turns out they have only just begun. In order for your child to access the education that is right for his particular needs an assessment for a statement of needs has to be completed. This is not a day thing but could be a minimum of 6 long weeks. Yes it’s a long time when you are at breaking point and need a school move asap.

So now I wait to see if an assessment can go ahead. The decision to assess is made by the local education authority and in some cases can be refused. It gets better! After inquiring I have been told to state my concerns leading to the request of an assessment. Well from what the school, other parents and children and my son have noted back to me this is some of what I have come up with and I am putting it to you guys before the authority for some much-needed advice and opinions.

  1. Giovanni has problems building relationships with other children with in his school. This makes attending a problem as fear of bullying and rejection.
  2. Finds some of the chosen work un challenging and some to challenging but will not ask for help so therefore will just refuse to do it.
  3. Has issues with using school toilet facilities though fear of the doors becoming locked and also their cleanliness. This has caused a number of problems as I have often had to collect him and bring him home to go.
  4. His outspokenness  has a tendency  to get him into trouble with this being confused with rudeness to other children and staff meaning at times he has unfairly been punished.
  5. Giovanni not eating despite bringing in a packed lunch. Mainly because he wont eat in front of others or maybe another reason that I am not aware of just yet.
  6. The disturbing fact that staff are sometimes unaware of Giovanni not being present at lunch. I then discover He has not eaten a packed lunch for weeks at a time.
  7. His fear of changing for PE in front of others meaning a reluctance to take part or even attend school on them days.
  8. stereo type behavior on Giovanni’s part.
  9. Frustration with others not understanding his way of thinking causing him to have outburst and lash out. His taken a door of its hinges by kicking it.
  10. His need for routine. When ever there is a temporary teacher teaching class he always has problems throughout the day. Mostly being behavioral. This is due to the sudden change. He is also deeply upset if a teacher that has become close to him leaves the school on a permanent basis.

these are just a few of my main concerns and I feel his current school are not equipped to deal with some if not all of them given recent findings and revelations. The school that I wish to place little man at is a school for children on the autistic spectrum including Aspergers, as well as other learning difficulties and certain disabilities. As my child clearly falls into this category I’m hoping he can be offered a place as soon as one is opened. The school has fantastic reviews and always hits its yearly targets. It would be both wonderful and exciting for me and little man for him to be excepted into this school.


  1. sazjay April 21, 2014 at 3:15 am #

    My son is similar to yours but get really aggressive. He gas poor social skills and started to lie and be nasty to hus younger peers. Im going to tribunal in july 14 as the LA have issued a note in lieu however we feel a statement is needed as he mire than likely need to move school.
    Coukd you be so kind to share what a good statement looks like as I gave been told I woll need to the tribunal whst we want for my son and describe hiw different it will look from current make shift provision.
    Many thanks in advance

  2. Paul Childress January 21, 2013 at 4:06 am #

    Mine is a sad one and I’m 58. Something was always wrong but could never put my finger on it. It was 2nd grade I was pulled from regular school because I was diagnosed with a Learning Disability then placed in privet school 2 – 4th grade. 5th Grade and back to regular school only to be placed in the 6th grade. It get’s better.., entering into 6th grade I was placed in the 7th grade because of my age and size but with no real training. Enter into 7th grade and I failed. I just could not get it at all. Then I was put back in special ed and passed and made it to the 9th grade thanks to the special class that were given to me again. This is the kicker 1972, my special class was to continue in Chesterfield county VA at Meadowbrook. until graduation. Unfortunately in Chesterfield County that I lived in was annexed by Richmond and, by court order I had to leave my class and be bused ( forced busing ) to a school in Richmond that had no special ed classes. I left there after 3 days. Fast forward 2012. I did get my GED at age 57 through DRS and had to follow up with a psychological evaluation. that clearly states I did not have a learning disability type 1 or 2 but I have Asperger’s Primary 299.80 and Dysthymic Disorder Secondary 300.4. I have 2 webites on this awful case and once I get all my school records and talk with my lawyer, I will come back and link my site with you. After 40 years its now Aspergers all along.

  3. chris February 20, 2011 at 10:35 pm #

    Seems to be a pattern here. I could have written that. Everything is the same but my son is now 16. There was no help from anywhere. It took 2 years to get diagnosed. At least I thought that would bring help. What a joke. He went to senior school shortly after DX. They took my word for DX as they didn’t know otherwise. There was no Statement. and senco was clueless basically as to what to do with kids like my son. Teachers often thought my son rude. They used phrases like “pull your socks up” “hit the groung running” “no smart remarks from you” etc etc etc to him which he didn’t understand . Once, on my insistance, the specialist advisory teacher went in but the senco did not meet with her after and I had to tell her what the recommendations were. Recommendations never reached the teachers. My son is leaving school this year. Probably without any qualifications. But I can’t wait because school has been quite detramental for him.

  4. guerrillamum July 29, 2010 at 11:29 am #

    I love your site. It outlines simply and briefly how difficult it is for children with Autistic Spectrum conditions to be accommodated in school without a statement. I hope you got the help you sought.


  5. Irish Eyes March 7, 2010 at 11:27 pm #

    That sounds exactly the same as my situation. Its so spooky that i too could be the author of those same sentiments. My son is ” very good at school!” but the teachers for 4 years have been telling me how BOLD he is!!! Its up to use to pave the way for the children’s future and God help us, any assistance we get (if any) will have to be bought with our blood sweat and tears.
    Go for it girl.

  6. Zachariah Hanahan February 8, 2010 at 11:17 am #

    Hi, Im having a hard time subscribing to your feed on my reader. It says unsupported format. You might want to check it.

  7. susie February 4, 2010 at 3:33 am #

    oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could have written this post..but not as well. I am, well my 11 year old is, going through the SAME thing..HOW IS A DX of AN ASD NOT ENOUGH TO GET HELP???!! I too have trouble containing my emotions over this. We were denied a case evaluation and IEP and on Fri go to a meeting and plead our case to see if we are ELIGIBLE FOR A FRICKIN 504!?! I am begging them just for some social work..It’s ridiculous.I share so many of the same experiences you mention. I went to visit a school just for kids with Aspergers and was a beautiful place. I left feeling happy and sad. Happy that there is a place like this, but sad about how hard it’s going to be to try to get there. It’s very $$$ and unless the school district can cover it, we can’t do it. I see an advocate in my future. It’s such a mess b/c I’ll need to prove that the current system isn’t working and then try to get support at school, and then that won’t work..If they even grant us the “honor” or eligibility, that is. It’s so frustrating. I am so nervous for the meeting on Friday . There is SO much I want to soak up and know and learn by then and I want to be sure to express it all. This is my chance to fight for my boy and he needs help so badly. I truly hope that your son’s needs are met and that the school comes to your aid or is supportive..mine, not so much. I hope to report something else over the weekend.
    AS the commenter above said, document and advocate. I can relate too well to a NUMBER or your points above. I would be glad to share my letter of request for special services with you , if you’d like. (altho the rat basterds denied it! 😛 )

  8. make money at home online January 31, 2010 at 10:51 am #

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  9. Accidental Expert January 29, 2010 at 3:44 am #

    Oh do I feel your pain. We have been down this road many times with our son. So much need and too little services.

    Don’t give up. You are the best advocate your son can have. Sometimes the trick is showing how a social and communicative disorder will impact his education. My only advice is to document everything and continue the good fight. You’re doing a great job, mom.

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