Asperger’s and bullying.

22 Mar

Today was a very tough and stressful day for myself and family. My mother in-law lives on the next rd to me. Little man wanted to go and visit Mitchell who is Little mans cousin. Mitchell lives with my mother-in-law ( Little mans Nan and my partners mother ) I will stand at the top of the road and watch him walk down. We have been doing this for a few months as most of the children from his school/class are allowed to play outside but I’m only happy for Little man to do this outside his nans once Mitchell who is almost 12 years old is with him. They live in a corner house and as My little man approached the corner I waved and headed back inside.

I was only home a few seconds when I heard banging on the front door. My little boy was home. He had run back home as fast as his legs could carry him, I was puzzled as to why this maybe as I knew Mitchell  and his dad were at home. He was crying and finding it so hard to speak. By this time im very worried and In a panic. I try not to become to upset. Then he sobbed mum he beat me up outside nanny’s house. WHAT! Now im mad and holding back tears. WHO? HOW? WHY?  I asked all at the same time as I grabbed hold of my coat and made a dashed for the door taking  little man with me.

As he had turned the corner a few boys started calling him names. One of them who we have had problems with before. His also 8 years old, and once tried to nick his bike from outside his nans house. His mother seems to have a lack of control  over him. She also seems to have no concern over his wear bouts. Well the other boy was a little older he had pushed little man and the 8-year-old tear away then punched him. I know they are only kids and I don’t really believe in hitting  your child or any child but I must admit seeing the mark on his face, the tears and fear in his eyes I felt like finding them and getting little man to do the same back. Off course this is not the right way to do things and of course this is not what I did.  I dropped little man at his nanny’s and went to the local park at the end of the road in search for them. Yes I found them (well the younger bully ) I was so angry I was really giving him a good talking to regarding bullying I asked about the older boy but he lied saying he was alone. MY SON DON’T LIE! I told the boy I wanted to see his mother. We walked to his house and she was not home. Instead I was greeted by a young guy in his 20s the claimed to be a cousin. Yes he told him off and No I don’t think it helped.

It makes me mad how someone can make someone else feel so scared.  I was sick to the pit of my stomach, angry and sad. My poor little man. It kills me to see him this way.

6 Responses to “Asperger’s and bullying.”

  1. Tai March 27, 2009 at 6:11 pm #

    Bullying is really getting to be a big problem everywhere. It is very upsetting and can have long lasting effects for the whole family of the victim. The best way to combat this is to be informed and there is help out there. Bully Police, USA, a non-profit organization has branches all over just put it into the search engine and find one near you to do a bit of reading on this. I think it will make you feel better to know you are not alone in this.

  2. patientanonymous March 23, 2009 at 11:21 pm #

    Hey, hon’. Just picked this up from Twit. Sorry I haven’t been around lately… However, I am more sorry for this!

    You know I’m still wading my way through my own Aspergian dx or even trait recognition.

    This brought back a lot for me. Different for boys than for girls and you know the varying stats for male to female ratios. I was bullied differently being a young girl. It wasn’t physical, it was emotional.

    Either way, it’s fucking wrong! End of story. The problem is, no one pays attention. Even with NTs (my sister can attest with her own kids) but with Aspies (or any Spectrum kids) it’s harder because of the communication issues.

    I just shut my mouth or cried my eyes out–and of course the crying outbursts that were massive just encouraged the bullying.

    So I know.

    Hugs to you and G.

  3. kyra March 23, 2009 at 10:15 pm #

    ooooh,i am so sorry this happened! it breaks my heart and makes me so sad. my own dear son can bully at times. i know it comes from his fear and confusion. i can’t speak for any other child, for what’s underneath their behavior. but i DO know the pain and a protective mama lion feeling when i see others mistreating/teasing/excluding my son. we’re sending our xxxx

  4. Gavin Bollard March 22, 2009 at 9:40 pm #

    I’m sorry that such a bad thing happened. Bullying is a dreadful thing that seriously needs to be stamped out. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening anywhere.

    I always though it was hard being a kid facing bullies but the truth is that it’s harder being a parent. There’s a thin line that you have to walk and you can’t really tell off another child. Nor can you help your child to bully back. You talk to the other parents who (sometimes) make it seem like they’re going to do something but in the end, you know that it makes no difference.

    I’m not a fan of the sink or swim approach but I do believe that children need to learn to deal with bullies in their own way without parental interference. By that, I don’t mean that they should fight. Instead, they need to learn who bullies are, how to avoid them, how to not attract attention and how to read the early signs of bullying and move away before it starts in earnest.

    Bullying can get out of hand, so parents still need to stick close by but if you stay too close, then your son will;

    a. have problems making friends.
    b. have problems if something happens when you’re not around

    For me, I found that working in the library at lunchtimes exposed me to a like-minded crowd (who are still my friends now 20+ years later) and also kept me out of sight, out of mind of the bullies. (most of them are too stupid to know what a library is for).

  5. Sheri March 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm #

    I am so sorry to hear he went through this. We have been there too…Your anger and frustration is completely and totally understandable and I think you did the right think finding whoever you could to tell them bullying is wrong….maybe that kid, knowing you are willing to stand up for your son, will think twice before messing with your son again….Around my house…mess with my kids your are messing with me and I don’t have to put up with it.

  6. rach March 22, 2009 at 8:54 am #

    Im so sorry to hear what happened. I hope his ok.
    Lots of hugs rach.x

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